noonebutalone

[noonebutalone]

Ya’ll I went to my hometown and I found a 💩 ton of 4n4 books and a púr8e book!!! I’m really excited to read them!!!

[noonebutalone]

I feel stupid, ugly and FAT😒X__X

[noonebutalone]

I fucking failed

[noonebutalone]

Rant/ talk

Tw: food intake/fasting

Alright so I’ve fasted before 16-24 hours or so and i know i can do them. Thai time I’m meal prepping and I’m trying to just eat what looks good and can keep me full until the next day. I didn’t plan on eating once a day but that’s what I’m doing

On tik tok there’s this person who shows you the food and what you needs(some don’t have exact measurements) but range from 400-600 calories per serving(i assume doesn’t say as well)

real.health14 ^^^

I’m a foody food kinda girl and so i found this person for more high protein food im actually going to try it out the week and see how that goes

Jalalsamfit on IG^^^

If anyone one knows any veggie recipes that i can make that’d be great because i need more of it in my meals!!!!!

Also okay so i fasted for 1 week and then i ate whatever for a week as well i don’t really remember and then i fasted again for one week and i lost 6 lbs and no it might not be a lot but for someone that has tried fasting and wasn’t probably doing it right that seems awesome to me!!

I drink water as much as i can and zero sugar comes here and there and i LOVE Lipton tea white raspberry i think it is it’s 0 calories and just yummm

Oh and i was also working out for that’s first week but stopped ao now I’ll start working out this week again; just because i kept feeling like i was going to throw up and i just hate throwing up 🤢

Otay byyeee

[noonebutalone]

When i dont know the exact calories of something i just assume its 1000cals 😃

[noonebutalone]

i work with models and the ugly truth is - they don’t eat.

Literally. They have one, maybe two light meals a day, but the rest of the time they just survive on black unsweetened coffee.

The story which social media sells us, that models can regularly eat three full healthy meals a day and indulge in fast food while maintaining that body?? Big fat lie.

It’s almost an unspoken agreement that all of them have eating disorders. Yeah they might eat on camera. But the thing is if they have fast food or high cal meals, they have a very small portion or only one bite. Most models don’t even eat or drink water before shoots/ runways to eliminate the chance of bloating. Yeah, SOME models can afford private chefs, but most of them are broke as hell. The business is brutal and standing in front of a hot light while being poked and prodded for 2-7 hours per shoot is literal torture. THIS, on top of not eating.

If you want to look like a model, starving is the only answer. Even if you’re genetically blessed.

Eat 1200 cals MAX, mainly between 500-900 per day. Walk a ton. Do OMAD or intermittent fasting. Survive on coffee. And if you can’t handle that, then you b/p which is horrible for you either way.

Wake up. Ugh.

[noonebutalone]

TW: shelf hårm/ūnalive mention

I cvt when I’m angry, not deep though just enough to see some bløöd… and because I’m a wvss…

And sometimes I do think unaliving would be easier because it would make the me that I hate leave, the me that I wish could just dįę but that would be messy(maybe) and heartbreaking(I know it would be)

It’s not the love I don’t receive it’s the hate that I feel, the anger that literally makes me boil that makes me dice parts of me.

It’s my fault for the bad things that I do and my punishment is staying alive and living with it. Until I stop, I’ll always be guilty.

[noonebutalone]

Y’all…..

I’m going to die fat 😭😭

[noonebutalone]

I’m wearing a corset thing(faja) hopefully it’ll help me feel full

[noonebutalone]

I know it’s bad but I really like to dehydrate myself so I can drink more water.

I just don’t drink or eat til I have too

And yes I’m back to trying to lose weight

[noonebutalone]

I fcking hate food

(Me after I finished binge eating)

[noonebutalone]

I’m trying to come back but I keep eating and binging….I’m not fitting into my clothes anymore you think that’d be motivation enough…..

[noonebutalone]

My toxic trait is that I truly believe I could win a fight against anybody if I was mad enough. U might have the strength and size but I have pure, unfiltered rage.

[noonebutalone]

Why tf am I such a pig??

Why can’t I just not eat??!!

[noonebutalone]

TW: talk about food/food restrictions

I’ve come to realize (for me at least) that OMAD are better and less stress inducing.

I literally started counting calories and broke a fast mid week

I started over today but like I did nothing but eat what I wanted and now I’m having heartburn and feel like throwing up….

I don’t eat or drink anything sugary I almost did this morning. It makes it harder to stay in a fast and cravings start.

I dehydrate myself as much as possible cuz to me I won’t be bloated/have water weight and my body will start consuming what I ate or my fat

I don’t remember mentioning this but I just give myself an hour to eat.

For two good reasons

• I’m the only one capable for my job area

• The faster I eat the fuller I’ll feel and I’ll be done quicker

I weighted myself yesterday 229.6 lbs…..

[noonebutalone]

TW: mental health/mental thoughts(non)destructive

Okay so I’ve always heard “you’re your own greasiest enemy” and I’m sure there’s one for being your better self but I don’t know what that is.

Bad thoughts and horrible possibilities were always a think that I thought about or anticipated. Now I’d say I’m balanced between negative and positive thoughts but it’s still weird.

We are our own bully and our own friend…

My point being don’t be too hard on yourself.

Sometimes you just have to tell “them” fck you!Not today a-hole!

You will be skinny enough

You won’t self h@rm as much

You won’t feel pain or sadness as much

You ARE enough

You ARE loved

You are an imperfect masterpiece

[noonebutalone]

I have this love and hate with my body. Sometimes I’m okay with how I look but when I can literally feel all the sugar and my heart starts beating hard; I just hate my genetics.

In a way I wished meanspo would help from other people but again I’d be defensive about it.

If you call me ‘fat’ or anything I’d just say “thank you” or smile like I don’t care.

I mean if someone I cared for said that to me then mayyybe yeah I’d take it to heart but that’s hard to happen unless I ask for it …..