nekron21 - Tumblr blog

[nekron21]

Firefighter demonstrates how to put out a kitchen fire

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“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

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[nekron21]

DM Resources Masterpost

So I’ve been DMing D&D 5e for a couple years now, and that means I’ve collected a ton of free online resources to help the whole process! Without further ado, here’s all of the websites I’ve collected over the years.

NAMING: 

Xanathar’s Missing Pages: Hundreds of surnames for any characters you’re writing! There’s sections for different regions, such as Polynesia, India, and France!

This Reddit thread is a goldmine of shop names! There’s tons of variety for a bunch of different kinds of shops!

This website has a TON of diverse names! Like, seriously, I’ve been using this for two years and I haven’t had to use another website for first names. 

STATBLOCKS: 

5th Edition SRD has a list of NPC statblocks! There’s some based on classes, existing monsters, character archetypes and more!

Outclassed is a compendium of statblocks based on almost every published subclass! It’s pay what you want with a recommended price of 10 USD. I use this CONSTANTLY, and imo it’s one of the best DM resources out there. 

MAPS:

This Subreddit is purely for battle map creators to post their work!  They’re even categorized by genre and location!

This is a post from that subreddit that has a big list of free, semi-free, and paid mapmaking tools.

CityGenerator is a website that generates city maps down to the tiny details. It generates the names and descriptions of important locations in the city, holidays, people, travelers, and more! 

 DungeonFog is a mapmaking website that you can use for all kinds of maps! I’ve used it for combat maps primarily. There is a premium membership, but it’s useable as the free version. 

Owlbear.rodeo is an extremely easy to use interactive online battlemap. I’ve used it a TON as a DM that plays online and hates using roll20. It’s really easy to get the hang of, and there’s nothing to purchase! I can’t recommend this one enough!

D100 LISTS/GENERATORS;

Goblin Punch has this amazing d100 list of minor magical items for any high-rolling pick pocket rogues out there! 

 Donjon has a great Random Magic Shop Generator! You can customize it a bit, and it gives you some interesting details and magic items to give your players.

This dndbeyond thread is a d100 non-combat random encounter table. Great for any non-planned areas your players go into! 

Nerdsonearth have a d100 table of city encounters that’s perfect for writing plot hooks!

This one is a bit weird, but if you have to come up with an NPC on the fly, here’s a Character Voice Generator!

MISC:

The Thieves Guild is an all-around amazing resource for anything D&D. Like, seriously, they have anything you would need .

This is absolutely not a PDF of the Modern Magic Unearthed Arcana. You should not download it because it is not at all useful for modern settings.

This is a giant Google Drive just chock full of oneshots. Some are better than others, but they’re all one page and free, so go at it! 

And, finally, a reminder that even though it is easy and free, you should not google a WOTC official d&d book PDF because it will show up as the first result and you can just download it instead of buying a 30 dollar book. This is bad and illegal and you should not do it <3

This is a living document, so check back on the original post every now and then to see if I’ve added anything. mwah mwah have fun you crazy kids

[nekron21]

The deities of the Union looked on in surprise and confusion. They had heard stories of the deities of mankind. Gods of war that lead nations to conquer most of their world. Gods of nature that farmers revered to have a bountiful harvest. Even gods of many facets that serve any number of purposes. And yet, the being before them was one of unease among them. A deity of the Ahsirdarin stepped forward from the banquet table, having earned the title of Elder Deity among them long ago. “Greetings, I am Vishidor, god of creation among the Ahsirdarin. I must admit, I find myself confused. I thought humanity had a number of gods. Yet only you are here?” “I am what you might refer to as a representative. The other deities have appointed myself to the position of Elder, as I always was. Apologies, I should introduce myself. I am Death.” The room fell silent for a few moments before the figure looked around. “Shall we continue the feast?” Death walked towards the table and took a seat by a nature deity of the Din’thark. The table began lively again with conversation, the newest arrival chiming in with bits of laughter and answering the occasional bit of small talk. Eventually, one of the war gods of the Coran stood. “Tell me, human god, why are you the only one here from Earth? Surely the other human deities have time enough to meet with us!” “Perhaps. Odin would certain enjoy himself here, I’ll admit. Although the other deities of humanity and I have a shared agreement. You see, humanity is very fluid in their beliefs. Some gods of Earth have been erased and forgotten, and the ones still remaining understand my role in it.” “You have waged war on your divine brethren?” Vishidor spoke up, and the others looked to death, as this was something of a taboo among the gods. “No, no. But surely you all must know. The Fading.” Death looked around, only to see faces confused. “When enough believers stop offering faith, a god becomes withered and empty. The power of a god is tied to the number of those who offer prayer and worship to it. When enough of them are gone, a god simply fades away. Some may return with a portion of their believers after a few centuries or so, some may fuse with aspects of others, but the Fading happens to all of them. Maybe not completely, but all of them feel it.” “And you said you had a role in this?” “The humans often waged war with one another, killing many believers of certain gods. This was when they were less civilized, of course. But some believers simply didn’t have their worship methods passed on to the next generation. Some humans simply don’t believe in any god. But normally faith is diminished by a human merely passing on from this life. That is my role, to guide them to the next life.” “You say the fading happens to all gods. So, have you felt it?” “Never. That is why I am here. To humanity, I am not a being of belief, I am a fact of existence. I am the final and ultimate truth, the inescapable destination, the last part of life. I am the end. Of all things, whether gods, humans, plants, animals or the universe itself. I am what awaits. I am no god. I am an absolute in existence. The one thing humanity will always believe in, will never doubt, and will expect to see every day is death. They don’t worship me, but I am the only god that will ever matter to them. The other pantheons will fade into forgotten memory or cease when humanity does, but I will exist after everything else has been destroyed. When the last star fades into the darkness of space, when the last atom is wiped away in the end of the universe, I will still be here. For THAT is what I am, that is my purpose. To guide all living things to the next life, to aid the gods in their final moments, to be the end of all things.” The deities looked at Death, all sitting quietly, none daring to make a sound. A wave of nervousness was flowing over the room, until Vishidor spoke up. “So, eventually... you will be the end of us? You will... see us... fade away?” The rest of the gathered gods simply looked at Death, who stood still for a moment. The hollow eye sockets of Death looked around the table, taking in the faces of the other gods. “... Yes. Eventually.”

As species meet each other, so too do their gods. And as the Galactic Union welcomes Humanity, their gods prepare to meet those of Humanity. But as the gates open, only one figure emerges; a skeleton wearing a robe, sandglass, and scythe.

[nekron21]

!!!!

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DO NOT MAIL IN YOUR BALLOTS ANYMORE.

TAKE THEM TO A LEGITIMATE DROPBOX,

OR TAKE THEM TO THE BALLOT OFFICE.

[nekron21]

attached are also numbers for worldwide suicide hotlines. please reach out for help if you’re feeling hopeless.

[nekron21]

You All Meet in a Tavern

The sun shone through the window as I rubbed at my eyes. Getiing up, I stretched and felt my left shoulder twinge in pain. That old Owlbear injury was flaring up again, but that was nothing that a trip to the local healer couldn't fix. As I stood, I felt Vuavi's arm grab at my wrist. "Stay. It's not as warm without you." she pulled me back to the bed and I chuckled a bit. As I got close enough, I gave her a kiss to let her know I still loved her Orc beauty. "I've got to open up, love. I'll be back tonight." As I slid out from her grip, I pulled the covers back over her. As she lay there, I tried to remember exactly when I fell in love with the brutal orc barbarian. It was either the time she had decapitated that cult leader while she was on fire or when she ripped off the Owlbear's arm that attacked me. Either way, I was glad for the thirty three years we've had together.

Pulling on my boots and lacing up my shirt, I ventured downstairs to the bar area. It had been twenty five years since I decided to settle down, leave behind the adventuring life. I remember back when our party first met here, nothing more than a group of idiots and get-rich-quick schemers. As I pulled the chairs off the tops of the tables, I recalled my old friends. Aekian, the elf rogue had gone on to the coastal cities. The news I heard was either he was a respected merchant or a feared pirate. Knowing Aekian, it was probably both. Oridani, the tiefling wizard had become a member of the Mages Guild. She's currently teaching students about the arcane arts at the Willow Creek Institute. Kiazin Greatwarrior, the minotaur fighter went off to seek a new purpose after avenging his family's murder. Not sure what happened to him. Anwyn, the halfling Cleric of Helm went on to become a member of the royal knights. And as for myself and Vuavi, we had a few more adventures before we finally settled down in the town of Stagpass. As I finished setting everything up, I went to the kitchens and began the prep work for the meals most travelers would want. After that was finished, I walked back out to the bar and waited for patrons to arrive. As the day passed, people ventured in and out, eating and enjoying themselves. Vuavi left about an hour or so after opening to go hunting, and at around noon both her and Kiroki walked in with a decent haul. "Hey papa!" Kiroki came over and gave me a quick peck on the check while holding a giant boar over her shoulder. "Managed to kill this one all by myself." "Impressive. Your mother still wins, though." Vuavi smiled while dragging three stags, two boars and an Elk in her giant net. As they both passed to the kitchen, Vuavi and I shared a brief kiss and Lanlin groaned from the kitchen. Why we hired that gnome I'm still not sure. Besides the fact he can cook just about anything. Around one or so in the afternoon, an elvish lady walked in, wearing very ornate looking robes. A book held in her hand and the tip of a wand poking out from her right sleeve gave her away. A wizard, no doubt about it. She approached the bar and held up her hand. "Excuse me, I'm wondering if you have any bookstores or magic shops around." "Well, we tend to do mining and hunting in the town, but the general store might have some items you'd be interested in. Although the next town over should have a magic shop. Head north for a while and you should reach it." "Thank you. I'm trying to reach the capitol so I can get an apprenticeship with the court wizard." As she spoke, the doors swung open and a dwarf male in full plate walked in. A warhammer on his back and a simple hand axe at his side, as he walked up to the bar, taking a seat next to the elf. "Thunderbrew. In a pint, if you please." As I went to pour him a drink, I scanned his armor quickly. No holy symbol, no military order of any kind, no mercenary guild sigil. A free agent with full plate and a decent weapon. Fighter, definitely. As I slid the drink to him, he nodded in thanks and chugged a good portion of it. "Any monsters around here that need killing?" "Well, there's been an Owlbear or two that's been extremely hostile off in the Crystal Forest. But that's a good distance from here." "Would you want any help?" the elf turned to him, and held out her hand. "Daedove, aspiring arch-mage." The dwarf looked at her and waited for a moment before shaking her hand. "Kharmun, dwarf master of battle." As the two began to chat, the door swung open again to show a seven foot tall female red dragonborn. As she walked over to one of the tables, she placed a giant greatsword on the table and pulled out a small bundle of fabrics. As she opened it up to reveal a small meal, she held something in her hand before giving a prayer. As she ate, I gave her a once over. Weapon, plate armor, holy symbol, and a decent amount of devotion. Possibly a cleric, but the damage on her armor and the scar on her face gave me the impression of a paladin. And then, it dawned on me. An elf wizard, a dwarf fighter, and a dragonborn paladin/cleric. All in the same tavern... Good gods above, it was happening to me now. I'm the tavern owner that the group of brave adventurers all first meet. Just like that old geezer when our group met. As I pondered this, the door swung open to reveal a black furred tabaxi with brown leather armor. A rapier and dagger on his hips along with the light footsteps he made gave him away immediately. This one was definitely a rogue, and they came to the bar. "I was wondering if you had any odd-jobs. Sell-sword type work." "Over on the listing board." I pointed him to the large board with several pieces of parchment over it, and he wandered over. At which point, the dragonborn got up and walked to where he was stood. As the two of them began talking, the dwarf and elf looked over at them. "Think we should ask them to join us with the Owlbear thing?" "Eh. Don't see much need for it." "Well, safety in numbers." The elf fiddled with her ears before seeing the other pair walk over. The tabaxi held out his hand. "Greetings. I am Sweet Rain, and this is Faepora. I am skilled in the ways of stealth, and she is a paladin of Tempus." "Daedove, wizard. And this is Kharmun, a fighter." The four of them exchanged greetings and shook hands. I smiled at what was happening, when a new face walked in. A tiefling with red skin, a mace at her side, and chainmail underneath a white tunic. A sigil of a waterfall plunging into a still pool sat near her left shoulder, which nailed her. The dragonborn was definitely a paladin, because THAT was a cleric. She saw the rag-tag group and wandered over. "Excuse me, but are you all looking for some additional help? I know healing spells." She thrust her hand out to them. "Zalia, cleric of Eldath. Hi." Good gods above, this one was awkward. As the group introduced themselves, the door swung open again to show a loxodon wearing simple leather gauntlets, a simple green tunic over his chest and a greataxe on his back walked to the bar. "Looking for work. Killing monsters, that sort of thing." Lack of armor, large weapon, simple thinking. Yep, barbarian. I pointed over to the group that was gathered, and the gentleman walked over to them. "Drintov. You guys killing things?" As the rest of them began to introduce themselves, a roar came from outside. As the new group of adventurers went outside, I reached under the bar and grabbed Bloodbringer, my old greatsword. Her blade still sharp after all these years, it glimmered in the light of the tavern. Outside, the group was engaged with several large orc-looking creatures. Large horns and black skin gave them away, Tanarukks. As the new adventurers began to fight, a few of them went down. The wizard and the rogue were looking in a bad state, and the cleric was being backed into a corner. "Demon filth!" I shouted out in orcish, and raised my sword. "Come face a true fight." As I swung my blade, I let out a single word in celestial, and Bloodbringer flowed with green flames. As they charged, I sliced through them. They might have had some resistance to fire, but I found a way to overcome that years ago. One by one, they all fell until none remained. Dispelling the flames, I put Bloodbringer onto my shoulder and helped up the wizard. The rest of the group began to rifle through the belongings of the orc-spawn and grabbed what looked of interest. "Who are you, exactly?" The elven mage looked at me with questioning eyes. "Hasaf Grun, Eldritch Knight." "Wait, as in Hasaf of the Dragon Knights?!" At this, even the others turned to look at me. They walked over to me, a newfound look of wonder in their eyes. "You lot destroyed a cult that was going to release a horde of demons!" the dwarf shouted. "Your group managed to rob a corrupt merchant completely blind in an hour and exposed him for murder!" the tabaxi chimed in.

"You guys obliterated a vampire den, and destroyed a necromancer creating undead Illithids." the teifling looked at me in awe. "Can I just ask, how did you all become friends in the first place?" the loxodon spoke up, and the rest of them muttered words of agreement, looking to me for an answer. I simply smiled, stood a little taller, and pointed behind me. "We all just happened to met in that tavern years ago."

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Charming Diplomat

So, I'm in a D&D group that's doing Icespire Peak as a way to level up a little before going into Dungeon of the Mad Mage. Currently, we ran away from a group of orcs that were camping out in a ruined shrine. We ran because there were four of us instead of the usual six, there were at least ten orcs and two ogres, and we're all level three. Later, we come across a collapsed tower, and meet what appears to be a necromancer with a group of zombies. He tells us he's trying to research the tower's history, and he'd be on his way if he could learn the name of the wizard who built it. However, the only one who knows that info is a banshee living to the north a day or so.

Necromancer: If you play to her vanity, she might just give you the answers you need. War Cleric: (looks at me) Mystery, think you can handle that? Me, the non-binary tiefling Glamour Bard: Definitely. We head to the banshee's lair, and meet a horribly terrifying ghostly woman. Me: I'd be happy to trade you this information we seek for a performance showing you how I see your beauty. Banshee: ... Very well. Me: I'm going to play a song on my lute while giving a dance and using Prestidigitation to make glowing butterflies fly around me. And I'm going to make it an Enthralling Performance, so she needs to make a Charisma save. D.M.: Okay, she got a 15 on her save. Roll me a performance check, please. Me: Okay so, she passes and she's not charmed, but she doesn't know I tried to charm her either. (rolls performance) 16. D.M.: The banshee is pleased by your performance and she gives you the information you're after. We get back to the necromancer and offer him a trade. We give him the name he's after, and he helps us defeat the orcs in the camp. Me: We're essentially just in need of some additional aid. Not to mention, you'd not only be helping rid the local area of dangerous monsters but if you were inclined, you could also use what remains of the fallen orcs and two ogres as undead bodyguards. Seems to me like undead with a bit more muscle would be far more beneficial to you. D.M.: ... Make a persuasion check. Me: (rolls) Nat 20! So, 27! Ranger: You have a +7 in persuasion? Me: Expertise, baby! D.M.: Okay, after thinking it over, the necromancer decides to join you on your venture the following morning. So now you guys have a necromancer ally with like... a bunch of zombies to help you kill the orcs. Me: (turns to the rest of the table) And THAT'S why I chose to be a bard!

[nekron21]

Things that happened in my last two sessions.

PART 1: the party is fighting a group of Merrow underwater.

Triton Ranger: I bite one's hand off and growl at the others bearing my teeth. (Rolls high intimidation)

Me, the D.M.: Okay, they all look at each other and after a moment of fear between them, they start shouting in Aquan and grip their spears, looking at you in anger and fear.

Ranger: Wait, shouldn't they be scared?

Me: They are. They see you as the most dangerous and now they are in a panicked state to try to kill you first.

Ranger: ... How many are left?

Me: 6.

Ranger: ... I have made a mistake.

PART 2: the party has gained information about a slaver who operates in the city, but the info tells them that the criminals who operates in the area use disguises of some kind to mask themselves in the city.

Fighter: I go to a merchant and buy some rough looking clothes, to make myself look like a ruffian.

Me: Okay, a simple black pants and shirt, a leather armor set with burns and scars and a fur cloak runs you about 160 gold. What next?

Fighter: I just go around the city and find the shadiest looking people and let them know I'm trying to join up with the slaver. So I can try and infiltrate without having to fight our way in. (Rolls high investigation)

Me: You wander about. You encounter a rough looking human, a scantly clad tiefling performer, a Minotaur with scars on his face, and a babbling old man. All of them seem offended that you're asking them about how to join a known horrible slaver. After an hour or so, you feel defeated, when a tap on your shoulder peeks your interest.

Fighter: YES! It worked! I whip around!

Me: You see three city guards, two in the back who are holding their spears at the ready, and the one in front is glaring at you with his arms crossed.

Guard: A few citizens informed us that you were asking about joining a known slaver... You get ONE chance to explain, boy.

Fighter: (explains what he's trying to do, and the guards warn him to cease and they walk off)

Rogue: (walks over to him) You know, if these guys are as secretive as they seem, why would they A: use their disguises to look suspicious and not blend in? And B: want to approach someone like you actively seeking them out?

Fighter: ... I'm an idiot.

PART 3: the party is planning out their approach to the lair of the slaver, with info from a pirate captain who is a temporary ally.

Scout Informant: So, the main entrance is through a hidden door in the mausoleum. But, there is a back entrance you could utilize. It's a tunnel leading from the ocean to a small pond in the underground cavern. It's a ten minute swim underwater, though.

Warlock: Oh, I can ritual cast water breathing, and we can sneak in through the back way.

Fighter: Wait, I got an idea. We'll have the warlock, rogue, ranger, and nature cleric go in the back way, and the paladin, monk, trickery cleric and myself will go in the front way to draw them towards us. And then you all can do sneaky damage to try and kill him.

Party: (agrees with each other)

Me: (knows that the front is filled with minions, and the back is where a mini boss in the campaign is and they're sending the weaker ones to fight the strongest opponent) ... Okay then.

ONE NEAR TPK LATER, WHERE THE MINI BOSS WAS KILLED

Me: Okay, who's not dead?

Party: (in various states of low health, but still alive)

[nekron21]

So, in a session, my players were looking for potions from a traveling merchant. However, this merchant misheard them and gave them a powerful poison instead.

Monk: So, do you have potions?

Merchant: Oh, POTIONS... no, sorry. Pretty much just your basic gear and rations.

The party decides to take it, and the merchant travels on.

Ranger: So, what does it do?

Me: It stops a person's heart. It needs to be ingested, and the victim has to make a CON save of 28 on each of their turns. The first fail knocks them down to half health, second fail makes them unconscious, and after that they do death saves. If they pass the CON save, they are poisoned until they take an antidote or are cured of it by magic. However, a save only protects them for one turn as they have to make saves until they're cured. Once the person dies, the poison goes inert after 1d4 days.

Party: (evil grins from the chaotic ones)

Ranger: How much do we have?!

Me: It's a single vial. Like a travel size shampoo bottle.

Party: (visible disappointment)

Warlock: Wait! We can kill the Mind Flayer colony with that! If we dump it in the Elder Brain pool, it'll kill the Elder Brain and the entire colony will die as a result.

Me: .... huh. That's pretty resourceful.

Cleric: Well, we still need to FIND the colony. We only know one exists, not its location.

Ranger: Wait, you said the poison stops a person's heart?

Me: Yeah.

Ranger: Aren't Elder Brains just an extracted brain of an Ullithd? Does it actually HAVE a heart to stop?

Me: ... (starts flipping through Volo's Guide) Hmmmm... I see where you're coming from. (keeps reading)

Warlock: Well, I don't see why it shouldn't have one. Pretty much only undead can live without hearts.

Ranger: Well, Illithds are also aberrations, right? Those things don't exactly follow rules of nature, right?

Me: (starts flipping through the Monster Manual at the same time) Hmmmmmm... Ehhhh...

Monk: Wait, don't Elder Brains rely on brains to survive? I think the pool it floats in just kinda acts as a bath. Does it actually drink those liquids or just float in them? Because if it's the second, how's it supposed to drink it?

Me: (flipping back and forth between Volo's and the M.M.) Ummmmmmmmmm...

Fighter: Wait, what if we poison something, then extract its brain, and feed the rancid brain to the Elder Brain?! Maybe that'll work!

Warlock: NO! Those things require a humanoid brain, and as much as I hate Illithds, I'm not murdering anyone sentient to kill them. Besides, if it doesn't work that way, we'll have wasted the poison for nothing.

Fighter: Fine. Frigging lawful goods, always choosing the boring option.

Warlock: I mean, it could work, right? Just pouring it in the pool?

Ranger: Well it could, but will it? From a technical standpoint?

Me: ... I don't want to say no, but I can't 100% say yes either...

Warlock: Sooooooo, what's the final verdict?

Me: .... Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh... (Dungeon_Master.exe has stopped working)

[nekron21]

Just an FYI for those in the US with insurance issues

[nekron21]

How to Escape a Hair Grab or a Neck Grab ? Look at them, carefully.

tai chi pants on http://www.icnbuys.com/tai-chi-pants give you surprise at the new year.

follow back

[nekron21]

Ethical Campaign

So, I'm going to be DMing my own homebrew one-shot for a group me and my friend are starting up. It'll be a way for us to get a feel for our characters interacting, how we'll role play in this group, and how we all like combat with our characters. It'll be a fun precursor to the actual campaign.

However, I've engineered a one-shot that WILL end with an entire town either unknowingly enslaved or completely dead.

... This gonna be fun.

[nekron21]

Alignments are cause for debate

Context: my D&D group has just emerged from a cave to be ambushed by a goblin and half ogre. We killed the half ogre and went to interrogate the goblin. In our party is a neutral good wizard, a lawful good cleric and paladin, two chaotic neutral rogues, and a chaotic neutral warlock.

N.G. Wizard: Is it just you that ambushes people in this area.

Goblin: I ain’t saying nothin! You can’t make me talk!

L.G. Cleric: Well, should we try to take him in or just let him go?

C.N. Rogue (me): I vote we gut him like a fish. (pulls out my daggers)

L.G. Paladin: Whoa, whoa. We don’t need to kill him, we can hand him over to the constable back at town.

C.N. Rogue (me): ... okay, compromise. I don’t kill him, but I take both his eyeballs.

L.G. Cleric: Well, that seems a bit harsh. I say we just had him over to the constable.

C.N. Warlock: (to the goblin) Okay, greeny. Your options are: get turned over to the constable, or we can have our friend filet you.

C.N. Rogue (Me): (sharpens my daggers)

Goblin: (weighs his options) ... Take me to the jail.