my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Slytherin: Don’t be wholesome, it makes me feel like a prick.

Hufflepuff: Feel like?

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Slytherin: Hufflepuff, I think it’s time we tell you, your bacon allergy is a lie.

Ravenclaw: Your parents made it up so you’d eat healthier.

Hufflepuff: What? No. No, I’m just allergic to a lot of stuff.

Hufflepuff: Bacon, donuts, halloween candy, not saying ‘thank you’

Hufflepuff: …

Hufflepuff: Oh my God.

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

avengers that i think could kill a mosquito

(Note: Yes, I know this isn’t Harry Potter. Also this is coming from someone who has only watched clips and read (fandom wiki pages, bless them) about said characters to only slightly know what she’s talking about, so if any of this is “inaccurate,” that’s probably why. Don’t take this too seriously, this is all in good fun, so don’t get upset if I “insult” your favorite character or something. Aight, now let’s begin. This is in no particular order, I’m sorry if I leave someone out)

Tony Stark: I doubt this man has ever had to lift a finger to kill any bugs in his life. If he saw one (assuming a bug could even get inside his home), he would subtly get Happy or Pepper (or maybe even Peter) to kill it. I’m 85% sure that if no-one was there to help him, he would just put on one of his suits and start blasting, then MAYBE he would be able to kill it on his own.

Steve Rogers: You know those people who will try and spare the bug, and like put a cup over it to release it outside? I think he’d be one of those people. I think he could kill it if he wanted to, but wouldn’t. 

Natasha Romanoff: Yes, of course she could. No further explanation needed. 

Thor: This himbo would get very upset at this tiny annoying ass bug buzzing in his ear. He would 100% think it was Loki messing with him. Once he figured out that it wasn’t his brother, I would like to believe he would use Mjolnir to try and kill it. It’s a solid maybe on if he actually manages to succeed though...

Loki (I know he’s not an avenger but whatever): Yes, he would. He would get very annoyed by the buzzing, it’s kind of funny imagining him get pissed off by one. He has a lot of powers and if I remember correctly, shape shifting is one of them so, he would probably turn into one and I don’t know, stab the real mosquito. 

Bruce Banner: Mosquitos are fucking annoying as hell, maybe he couldn’t (I think he could though, assuming Hulk hasn’t taken over yet) but Hulk certainly would try.

Hawkeye: Yeah, isn’t he supposed to have like super good aim? I mean I don’t think he would use an arrow to kill it, but if he’s half as good at smacking things with a shoe as he is with his arrows, then yeah, he could kill one.

Wanda Maximoff: I’d feel bad for that poor mosquito if it decided to buzz in her ear, she’d have no trouble killing it that’s for sure, with or without her powers.

Pietro Maximoff: Yes, Sonic the hedgehog here could kill it.

James Rhodes or “Rhodey”: Yes, I think he would be very chill about it too. I honestly think he’s one of the few people who wouldn’t cause chaos trying to kill it. 

Sam Wilson: Yes, he could. I don’t know why but I feel like he’d be one of those people who “talk” to it or himself while he’s trying to kill it.

Bucky Barnes (I know Bucky is just his nickname, but it feels weird to refer to him by anything else and he’s not technically part of the Avengers but whatever): I can’t decide if he wouldn’t be bothered by it or would lose his shit trying to catch it. If he was bothered by it, he would probably get Steve or Sam to kill it. He could kill it himself though.

Peter Parker: He’s literally Spiderman. He would probably put on the suit and shoot webs at it (I’m pretty sure the webs don’t come from his actual wrists...right?) just to see if that would work, but yes, he could.

Vision: Well, I’m pretty sure mosquitos are attracted to carbon dioxide, and he’s a robot....he doesn’t breathe. (This is not a “he’s dead joke”, but it could be.) But, in this case let’s just say he’s killing it for Tony or something. Yes, he could, he would probably figure out the best way to kill it and how to prevent more from getting in too.

Okay that’s it. :)

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Incorrect Harry Potter #82

Ravenclaw: First impressions are important.

Slytherin: But you're dating me anyway.

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

update!

Ya’ll, I’m so fucking sorry for just vanishing, last time I posted was in oct, 2020….I promise I’ll make up for it in some way.

Aight so basically, I’ve been thinking that I should start doing headcanons for the Harry Potter characters (not all of them, ofc). So, how would you guys feel if I did that? I’ll still do incorrect quotes every now and then, but I want to maybe write some silly fun headcanons for people to enjoy (nothing too crazy or long, honestly depends on how much I like the character and how much bs I can generate from my brain. It’ll mostly be sfw, since it’s easier to write in my opinion), so lemme know what you think, thank you! :) 

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

update!

Ya’ll, I’m so fucking sorry for just vanishing, last time I posted was in oct, 2020....I promise I’ll make up for it in some way.

Aight so basically, I’ve been thinking that I should start doing headcanons for the Harry Potter characters (not all of them, ofc). So, how would you guys feel if I did that? I’ll still do incorrect quotes every now and then, but I want to maybe write some silly fun headcanons for people to enjoy (nothing too crazy or long, honestly depends on how much I like the character and how much bs I can generate from my brain. It’ll mostly be sfw, since it’s easier to write in my opinion), so lemme know what you think, thank you! :) 

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

hey!!!!!! congrats!!!!! why??? you ask???? because you made it to today!!! even after everything !! i’m so proud of you!!

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Incorrect Harry Potter #81

Hufflepuff: Hewwo! I will be your suwegon today! Intewnal bweeding, you say? Let’s make our fiwst wittle incision!

Gryffindor: *only playing along to mess with Slytherin* Dowcto, we’re lowsing him!!! 

Hufflepuff: Quick! Hand me the defibwiwatow!

Slytherin: *tears in his eyes* Please. Just turn off my fucking life support. 

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Incorrect Harry Potter #81

Hufflepuff: Hewwo! I will be your suwegon today! Intewnal bweeding, you say? Let’s make our fiwst wittle incision!

Gryffindor: *only playing along to mess with Slytherin* Dowcto, we’re lowsing him!!! 

Hufflepuff: Quick! Hand me the defibwiwatow!

Slytherin: *tears in his eyes* Please. Just turn off my fucking life support. 

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Incorrect Harry Potter #80

Ravenclaw: Gryff, I went through your search history yesterday.

Gryffindor: Um..I can explai-

Ravenclaw: Why the fuck are you still playing club penguin?

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

I love you Slytherins.

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Hufflepuff: I really want a hug, or a kiss...

Ravenclaw: *gently nudges Slytherin’s arm* This is your chance my child.

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Slytherin: I’m stone cold. Unbreakable. A true ice queen.

Hufflepuff: *smiles*

Slytherin:

Slytherin: I’m a mess. Someone help.

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

yay, they wrote more <33333

Slytherin x Hufflepuff Relationship Part 2: Enamor

*Read Part 1 here*

They were in no mood to train for Defense Against the Dark Arts because it was a humid day 

Slytherin wiped his sweaty forehead with the inside of his wrist and glanced at Hufflepuff, whose eyes were closed against the beating sun

His gaze briefly lingered on Hufflepuff. Even with her slightly red cheeks and frizzy hair, she looked as pretty as ever 

Wait a minute, thought Slytherin. Pretty? This was Hufflepuff he was thinking about. Sure, he sometimes found himself gazing across the Great Hall at her. Yes, he felt his mouth go dry when he saw her smile and heard her laugh. But they were only friends, and friends usually don’t think about each other in that way

Slytherin shook his head and averted his gaze. It was probably the heat that was causing him to think like this

Hufflepuff opened her eyes and groaned, squinting at the sun

“I am literally melting,” she said 

Slytherin sighed in agreement and laid on the grass

He suddenly sat up and looked at her

Hufflepuff raised her eyebrows questioningly

“We should skip training today and go swimming in the Black Lake.” 

She stayed quiet as she thought about it and Slytherin continued

“We’re already ahead of the curriculum, and you don’t really need any more practice at the moment. You’re practically as good as me now.”

Hufflepuff snorted and said, “I think this is the first time you’ve ever complimented me.”

Slytherin rolled his eyes and got up

“Well? What do you say,” he asked, extending his hand to Hufflepuff

“Hold on a sec. Isn’t there a giant squid in that lake?”

“It probably crawled all the way to the Atlantic Ocean to get away from this heat.”

Hufflepuff smiled amusingly but still hesitated to take Slytherin’s hand

“Aw, c’mon Puff! It’ll be fine, just trust me,” he said earnestly

Hufflepuff met his eyes, and for a moment, she forgot about the sweltering heat

Slytherin stood in front of the sun, which made him look like he was glowing, and the whole world seemed to brighten from his silly grin. He smiled as if there were no place he would rather be but here, and his eyes held such a soft fondness for her that she felt a rush of warmth that coursed through her body, leaving her with a tingly feeling in her chest

Keep reading

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

so cute <3 please do more! 

Slytherin x Hufflepuff Relationship Part 1: Slowburn excellence

THE BEGINNING…

They meet when Hufflepuff needs tutoring in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Slytherin happens to be great at it 

Slytherin is annoyed at first because he thinks that the Hufflepuff that he is assigned to is going to be a slow learner 

However, once they start training, Slytherin realizes that yes, Hufflepuff is quite bad at Defense Against the Dark Arts, but she’s very resilient and doesn’t give up easily 

Hufflepuff starts to improve and Slytherin is secretly proud (but doesn’t show it because he has a ‘hard’ exterior and doesn’t like to express emotions very much)

Hufflepuff has a special secluded spot near the lake that she likes to go to when she want to relax (it’s very sunny, grassy, and there’s a tree that she can lean against)

One day, Hufflepuff comes to her special spot only to find Slytherin peacefully napping with his back against the tree

Hufflepuff walks closer and Slytherin opens his eyes because he felt a shadow over him that was blocking the sun

Slytherin is startled to see someone gazing down on them and whips out his wand, only to lower it when he realizes that it’s Hufflepuff

“Hi” “Bloody hell, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” “What are you doing here?” “Well, I was napping before you interrupted me” “I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just that no one ever comes here except me” “Guess I’m the first” 

Hufflepuff is a bit annoyed at first because this is her special place to be alone but it’s all fine because she doesn’t mind sharing 

Slytherin, who closed his eyes again, opens one to find that Hufflepuff is sitting next to him and doing Charms homework

Slytherin sighs but doesn’t complain, because truth be told, he likes Hufflepuff’s company 

Hufflepuff starts to see Slytherin more frequently because Slytherin has taken a liking to her special spot and comes often to read or think 

Whenever Hufflepuff sees Slytherin, she makes small talk and at the beginning, Sly gives bland responses and generally ignores whatever she’s doing, but over time, Slytherin start to feel more comfortable around her and asks questions 

“What’s that in your hand” “A Rubix cube” “Sounds very muggle-like” 

Hufflepuff laughs as Slytherin examines the object with great curiosity and bewilderment 

They move their training sessions from the courtyard to their special spot 

When Hufflepuff disarms Slytherin successfully and catches his wand for the first time, Puff lets out a whoop and Sly can’t help but smile because wow, happiness looks good on Hufflepuff

One day, Slytherin is quietly reading a book when he hears soft snores coming from Hufflepuff, her unfinished painting left forgotten on her lap  

It’s a bit windy and Puff is only wearing a light crew neck sweatshirt and Hufflepuff shorts (which Slytherin rolls his eyes at), so Sly takes off his own jacket and drapes it over Hufflepuff

The glow from the pinkish-red sunset is reflected on Hufflepuff’s face, and Slytherin can’t help but stare 

Was she always this cute? 

Before he knows it, he’s falling asleep to the sound of Hufflepuff’s light snores 

Slytherin wakes up to Hufflepuff shaking him and saying his name; it’s dark out and the crickets are chirping

“Merlin’s beard, we are in so much trouble” 

Hufflepuff nods grimly as she helps Slytherin up

They try to sneak back into Hogwarts, but Professor Sprout catches them in the entrance hall

“Professor Snape and I have been looking everywhere for you two! Please explain yourselves this instant!” 

“We were just hanging out near the Black Lake and lost track of time”

Professor Sprout frowns and glances from Hufflepuff to Slytherin

“Doing what, exactly?”

“We were sleeping together”

Professor Sprout raises her eyebrows and Hufflepuff blushes when she realizes how that sounded

Slytherin quickly blurts out, “Not like that! I mean, we were, but not in that way. We’re just friends!”

“That wasn’t the only thing we were doing. I was painting while Slytherin was reading a book”

Sly holds up his book for affirmation but Hufflepuff looks at her empty hands with horror, realizing that she left her painting behind 

Professor Sprout looks at Hufflepuff pointedly

“I’ll be taking twenty points from the Hufflepuff and Slytherin houses.”

Slytherin involuntarily lets out a groan. Great. His house had been in the lead for the most points, but now, they would fall behind. All the other Slytherins were going to kill him.  

“Mind you, you’re lucky Professor Snape wasn’t the one who caught you first. He would have given you a harsher punishment”

Hufflepuff and Slytherin nods solemnly and they are finally dismissed 

As they walk up the stairs, Hufflepuff glances at Slytherin and nudges him playfully 

“Friends, huh?” she said with a goofy grin

Slytherin rolls his eyes but manages a smile 

Before parting ways to their respective common rooms, Hufflepuff turns to Slytherin and looks at him intently

“I’m sorry for getting us into this” 

“It’s not your fault”

“But I was the one who fell asleep first” 

“Hey, don’t take all the credit. I should’ve stayed awake and woken you up when it was time to go”

“Ok, you got me there. But your Slytherin housemates are gonna be really mad at you, aren’t they?” 

Slytherin shrugs. “It’s nothing I can’t handle”

Hufflepuff smiles.  

“Goodnight”

-

Before Hufflepuff drifts off to sleep, she thinks about what Slytherin had said

“We’re just friends”

Hufflepuff was pleasantly surprised by that. She already considered Slytherin to be one of her friends, but Puff didn’t think the feeling was mutual 

Hufflepuff smiles and sighs contently

Friends

-

As Slytherin got ready for bed, he found himself looking forward to his training sessions with Hufflepuff

The last thing he thought about before falling asleep was Hufflepuff, whose face was glowing with warmth and lit up by brilliant colors of red and orange

Author’s note: HI!! I really hope you liked reading that. This is my first ever post and I’m new to Tumblr. Are you allowed to like and comment? If so, please do! It’ll give me more motivation to write part 2. THANK YOU AND GOODBYE :) 

Tags: @missdawnandherdusk @slytherpuff-shenanigans @dralf0yy @fortisfiliae<3!

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Slytherin hubby. I would die for you

Hufflepuff me. I’d be perfectly content if you’d live for me.

[my-patronus-is-bigger-than-yours]

Gryffindor: Synchronize your watches.

Hufflepuff: I don’t know how to do that.

Slytherin: I don’t have a watch.

Ravenclaw: Time is a construct.