mutant-n-gratified

[mutant-n-gratified]

Ever sat beside the wall and stared at the wall?With nothing, just a stillness within your entire being?

No chaos, no calm, no memories to replay, no strom, no fire, just some weightless gray ashes; somehow to heavy to hold.

Just breath, bones and slow dragging of clock needles.

The deep pauses between heartbeats. The noticable pattern of spiderweb. An ant's struggle to lift up a grain.

Just you yourself in a most tangible form. The blank faced walls listening to your quietness.

Surrendering to reality - inner death of ego's grip on life, leading to slow decay of spirit.

Illusions? Sugarcoated bitterness of reality.

Letting go of illusions feels like standing in middle of chaos. Stripped, alone.

What's left? A wreckage of raw, unfiltered you.

What's left? A peace, that don't liberates but humbles.

[mutant-n-gratified]

“I think that after the first time you give your heart away, you never get it back. The rest of your life is just you pretending that you still have a heart.”

— Unknown

[mutant-n-gratified]

Inside me smth immortal simmers; rage? grief?

Inside me a creature crawls, somewhere trapped in my ribcage, it claws my heart.

Smth resides in me, smth pure like death.

Sucking venomous unholy blood with it's teeth.

It haunts me, dangling on the leash of madness, it devours me--flesh by flesh.

A beast, whispering in the dark, cutting my skin through with a dull knife, its burning hands against my frozen skin, its hot breath against my pale neck.

Its teeth sink deeper into my delicate bones, tearing my sensations apart; this starvation has no end.

Smth's aggressively injected to my marrow, a curse? a catastrophe? I can't escape it, it's me, my knuckles and wrist are all bloodied, still I can't, it's within me, it's all me. The more i confront, the more it devours me.

[mutant-n-gratified]

Just be ridiculously passionate, follow your obsession mercilessly and be your hottest self.

[mutant-n-gratified]

i had the most wonderful of dreams the other night. i was sitting on the edge of a tall tower whispering to the stars when a man i’d never seen before sat next to me. he said he could be whom ever i wanted him to be as his eyes shifted to your brilliant blue.

i swear i don’t miss you anymore.

[mutant-n-gratified]

A soft, slow October night delicately touches the bandaged walls of the heart, carrying a pocketful of grief.

It whispers aching secrets to the mind, tracing invisible stitches of despair, longing and regret.

Distantly echoes the screams of what remains unhealed, making air harder to breathe.

In spite of this, the heart, fragile yet resilient, clings to the strings of hope.

[mutant-n-gratified]

Im not a good texter u gotta come to my house and lay on my bed and talk to me

[mutant-n-gratified]

[mutant-n-gratified]

tumblr is so intimate like… i do not act like this around people i know…

[mutant-n-gratified]

“The best thing about the bedroom was the bed. I liked to stay in bed for hours, even during the day with covers pulled up to my chin. It was good in there, nothing ever occurred in there, no people, nothing.”

— Charles Bukowski

[mutant-n-gratified]

Existence is nauseating.

[mutant-n-gratified]

“Is it possible, in the final analysis, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another? We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close can we come to that person’s essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?”

— Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

[mutant-n-gratified]

“If I could, I would apologize to the sky and my room ceiling for all of the nights I’ve awkwardly stared at them remembering things I should have forgotten.”

— Maxwell Diawuoh

[mutant-n-gratified]

puts you in a blender with fresh fruits and two scoops of vanilla ice cream :3

[mutant-n-gratified]

The mindset of a woman who loves herself: • Journals instead of oversharing online or with the wrong people • Ends relationships that don’t align, instead of changing herself • Says 'no' to anything below her standards • Steers clear of drama • Prioritizes self care, health & growth • Avoids jealousy & competition with other women • Makes time for creativity & hobbies • Values quality over quantity • Responds with grace, not impulse • Boundaries • Long term goals not instant gratification

[mutant-n-gratified]

Astro observations are so funny cause you can tell when certain "notes" are just vent sessions about specific people with random placements slapped on the title.

You didn't "observe" anything, you're just mad at a specific Scorpio Venus.

[mutant-n-gratified]

“Don’t let them get you down. Be cheeky. And wild. And wonderful.”

— Astrid Lindgren