moonlite-drabbles

[moonlite-drabbles]

Jason knew damian from the league BEFORE he knew he was his little brother and it is… so much worse

Okay so. listen.read.

jason todd. 17. freshly lazarus-pitted. feral. the human embodiment of “i lived bitch” with rage issues and a 72-hour insomnia streak. the league takes one look at this hot mess of trauma and goes “yes. this is exactly the energy we need in our murder boy band.”

enter: tiny baby assassin gremlin™ damian wayne. 6 years old. fluent in six languages, can kill you with a butter knife, has already named his sword and buried a man for disrespecting alfred the goat.

and someone. SOMEONE. in the league decides, “you know what would be funny? pair the murder toddler with the zombie disaster and see what happens.”

Heres how that went

ra’s: jason, your assignment is to supervise damian.

jason: you want me to babysit.

ra’s: guide.

jason: babysit.

ra’s: test.

damian (deadpan): i don’t need a babysitter. i need a better sparring partner. the last one cried.

jason: okay i like this kid.

they do missions together. which is to say, they cause crimes while technically completing the mission. jason teaches damian how to actually knock people out without breaking his own fingers. damian shows jason how to poison a blade using pomegranate juice and pure spite.

they bond over shared trauma and mutual hatred of everyone else. jason steals food for damian. damian teaches jason new ways to dismember people. it’s beautiful.

damian (6, holding a flaming knife): i’m going to defenestrate that man.

jason (17, holding a mango): hold on i’m eating.

damian: that’s MY mango.

jason: finders keepers.

[30 seconds later jason is bleeding and laughing]

but then jason leaves the league. rage. escape. redemption arc pending. damian stays.

and they don’t see each other for years.

until jason storms into the batcave like:

jason: not here to bond. just stealing med supplies. don’t talk to me or my trauma.

damian (offscreen): you dare show your face here, todd.

jason (freezes): oh my god. oh my god. i KNOW that voice. i KNOW that gremlin growl. there’s no fucking WAY

bruce (tired): jason, meet your little brother. damian.

jason (SCREAMING INTERNALLY): THAT’S MY EX-TINY MURDER ROOMMATE?!

damian (smirking): i see the pit didn’t fix your face.

tim (whispers): what is happening.

from that day forward: chaos.

damian starts following jason around like a very stabby duckling. calls him “akhi” in the most possessive tone known to man. sharpens jason’s knives without being asked. threatens the replacement on his behalf.

jason pretends to be annoyed but teaches damian how to make homemade explosives and saves him the last slice of pizza.

jason (grumbling): you’re still a brat.

damian: and you’re still emotionally unavailable.

jason (softly): shut up.

one day jason finds a drawing on his fridge.

it’s two stick figures. one has a red helmet. the other has a sword. they’re both labeled “BROTHERS – THREAT LEVEL: MAXIMUM.”

jason doesn’t talk about it. but he frames it.

bonus: group chat

dick: wait. you guys KNEW each other before this family?

jason: yeah. i babysat him once. worst two years of my life.

damian: i tried to stab him over a mango. it was glorious.

tim: that’s the most terrifying sentence i’ve ever read.

cass: ❤

bruce was like “you’re brothers now” and they were like “we BEEN brothers?? get on our level B/father”

[moonlite-drabbles]

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

[moonlite-drabbles]

Short DPXDC Prompts #648

The League gets incredibly concerned that their main tech mechanic, Danny Fenton, has instances of his heart or breathing randomly stopping. His skin is cold as ice and his skin is deathly pale.

Danny didn’t realize that the League doesn’t look at hiring applications. If they did they would have seen that he put being a half ghost on his resume.

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Funnier even is if Damian exclusively uses it to mess with Batman.

He has brunch with Harley and Ivy who help him pick out classes since their PHDs (Psychology and Botany) led to them getting to know the types of teachers he’s running into. Mostly it’s just gossip.

Harley: “Oh my god I remember that teacher! She ran freshman biology, TOTALLY was makin’ heart eyes at her TA-”

Later Damian gets dropped off at the manor by a bright red convertible, the couple blaring shitty pop music they drive off, breaking every speeding law. Bruce thinks he’s hallucinating as we watches it happen. Damian strolls into the manor with a class registration list in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.

Bruce tries to go “Nuh uh you have to finish school before going to college” (last ditch attempt to stop a villain in the making). It’s a good plan!

Until Two-Face becomes Damian’s lawyer and tries to get him emancipated. Damian would never go through with it but the threat is enough to be allowed to go.

Bruce grounds Damian for sneaking out or something and suddenly fucking Oswald Cobblepot is funding his college education.

No one even knows how Damian pulled it off because it was already paid for. Somehow he got the money refunded and then had The Penguin pay. Bruce is DEVASTATED by this.

Same night Bruce tracks down Damian and he’s at the iceberg lounge having dinner with Penguin and the other rouges.

Worse yet he’s wearing an atrocious (gorgeous) outfit obviously picked out for him by Ivy and Harley. Slick back hair, leather jacket with playing cards and vines embroidered in it, sun glasses. It’s all worth it for the look on Bruce’s face.

In the end they fail and Damian doesn’t actually become a villain (except for one time he and Ivy teamed up to mess with some out of line execs dumping pollution) BUT he ends up with a killer cast of honorary aunts and uncles.

Damian Wayne goes to medical school to become a doctor and IMMEDIATELY the rouge gallery tries to indoctrinate him into being evil.

It’s not even that they know he’s Robin, it’s just that they think it’d be hilarious if they made Brucie Wayne’s son evil.

[moonlite-drabbles]

Damian Wayne goes to medical school to become a doctor and IMMEDIATELY the rouge gallery tries to indoctrinate him into being evil.

It’s not even that they know he’s Robin, it’s just that they think it’d be hilarious if they made Brucie Wayne’s son evil.

[moonlite-drabbles]

when Duke needs backup in a fight he uses his powers to blast bat-signal-esque signs into the sky to call for whatever sibling is best suited for the job. each sibling hates their calling sign, and even worse, they actually have to respond to it because Duke only uses them when he’s like three minutes away from dying so they literally have no choice, like if their symbol shows up they have to fucking BOLT over there regardless of the indignance or Duke will not make it

Jason: the middle finger emoji

Damian: a somehow detailed image of the Boss Baby

Dick: just the word ‘slut’ in bubble letters

Tim: the red robin restaurant logo, complete with ‘gourmet burgers and brews!’ underneath

Steph: a taco, in reference to a time when she was drunk one night and Tim got on video her chasing down a moving taco truck insistently only to face plant into the side of it when the driver finally stopped to let her buy one

Cass: her regular symbol, because shes the only one he respects completely and it drives the others insane to have one sibling un-harassed

Bruce doesn’t have one because he refuses to call for Bruce. Alfred has one, a shotgun, although it’s never been used, and it pisses Bruce off to no end.

[moonlite-drabbles]

Just saw someone saying that Damian's love for animals comes from Dick??? Bro have you ever read Damian's origin??? Do you know who his family is????

His family is fricking Al Ghuls. The famous eco-terrorist family. The family who has sanctuaries for endengared animals and plants. The family who wants to save the Earth from humans. Damian's love for animals comes from the Al Ghuls.

Dick stans love to attribute Damian's everything to Dick even if it is related or not.

[moonlite-drabbles]

TFW you accidentally let it slip that you're homeless 'cause you were so excited that someone painted something for you

[moonlite-drabbles]

Billy Batson being the collective child of the Justice League, including being scolded by them lmaooo especially Bruce and Clark heh au

-

Billy, dying in his handheld game: god fucking damn it...

The Entire Justice League: ...!? *cue a cacophony of yelling, laughing, scolding, and at least a few members having to leave to stay composed*

Clark would immediately begin scolding Billy for using such language, pulling him to the side like a father would. Crossed arms, stern look, the blueprint for a disappointed dad. Billy shrinking under his gaze, fiddling with his hoodie, mumbling apologies while Clark just sighs cuz it's hard to stay mad at him.

Bruce wouldn't scold Billy in front of the team, but he would basically be simmering with "I failed to raise another son oh god" vibes for days. He would spend hours trying to pinpoint exactly what happened to cause Billy to start cursing, head in hands. He fully blames himself, even tho he's never cursed in front of the boy.

[moonlite-drabbles]

Mute billy

Wizard: “Say my name!” *closes eyes and raises hands*

Billy: *stares*

Wizard: *cracks one eye open* “Billy, say my name.”

Billy: *continues staring*

Wizard: “Billy??”

Somehow, The Wizard didn’t realize that throughout his entire speech about Billy becoming the Champion, Billy hadn’t said a word and just stared.

Wizard: “Billy… if you can speak, say my name-” *gets crushed by the stone thing*

And that’s how Billy went like a solid two weeks without transforming. By the end, he was teaming with magical energy so much so that he thought if he just moved to the wrong way, he’d explode. He knew you were supposed to say something, but since he couldn’t say anything, he had to find a way around it.

Billy: *walks into an alley and finds a piece of cardboard and scribbles the word Shazam on it*

Now, he was about to go back to the cave and see if he could just thrust the cardboard at the Wizard’s corpse and pray it will work. Unfortunately, it started raining halfway there.

Billy: *ducks into a different alley for a shortcut, and holds the cardboard above his head to block the rain*

Billy heard thunder, and then he was a grown ass man.

Zeus: ‘FINALLY! Sorry, kiddo, but I just took what I could get.’

Marvel: *confusion*

Solomon: ‘Billy, because you cannot speak, please just hold the cardboard above your head, so our friend- eh… colleague Zeus can see.’

And that’s how Billy gained the ability to transform. He went around being a hero and all that, he got to meet the Fawcett heroes and befriend them still.

Minute-Man: “Yeah, so I’ll take two scoops of chocolate.” *look to Marvel* “What do you want, big man?”

Marvel: *silence*

Minute-Man: *somehow understood his silence* “Right, and he’ll take a scoop of Rocky Road.”

They all developed a wordless understanding of the Cheese.

Then the bubble popped and Billy got to interact with people outside of the Fawcett heroes and Fawcitizens who were used to him being the big silent sunshine.

Marvel: *standing menacingly behind a Gothamite*

Gothamite: *slowly turns around, thinking they’re about to be bludgeoned to death by the next Bizarro*

Marvel: *points to their dog*

Gothamite: *now thinks their dog is about to be bludgeoned to death by the next Bizarro*

Marvel: *inches closer to the doggy*

Dog: *can sense its about to get pets and just loves it*

Gothamite: *confused as to why their dog isn’t literally whimpering in fear*

Marvel: *pets the doggy*

Gothamite: *confusion*

Marvel: *finishes, waves, and leaves*

or

JL: “Tell us who you are!”

Marvel: *just stares*

Spy Smasher: “His name is Captain Marvel, or Cap.”

Supes: “He couldn’t answer himself?”

Bulletman: “He can’t talk.”

Supes: “Oh.”

Batman: “That doesn’t answer who you all are. It’s not everyday a group of heroes just pops up-”

Spy Smasher: “SHUT THE HELL UP. We came before you kiddies!”

Marvel: *pats his shoulder looking at him like he’s crazy*

That was Billy’s way of saying “dude calm the hell down. Please.” Also, because Billy is mute, his face is extremely expressive. Marvel stared him into apologizing.

Spy Smasher: “I apologize for my outburst.”

[moonlite-drabbles]

Post-reveal Billy Batson doing normal kid things in the watchtower as himself.

Like USUALLY he’s there as Captain Marvel but everyone knows now so what’s the harm of doing homework in the cafeteria? AND the others can help him with his homework.

Green Arrow: 260 divided by 5 is just 52

Billy: yeah if I don’t do it the specific way they taught it, and show my work, I get no points :(

Green Arrow: well the way they want you to do it is fucking stupid.

Superman: ARROW

Billy: no no, he’s right

[moonlite-drabbles]

Absolute Superman x Batman

[moonlite-drabbles]

This is SO true. So many people just refuse to care about him and the reasons are obvious. He’s an amazing character with depth and importance. And honestly he’s more interesting than a lot of these people’s favs anyways.

Hey full offense but if your excuse for not including Duke as Bruce's son and in Batkids/Batboys/Robins lineups is 'he already has parents' and you 'don't want to erase them',maybe you should consider Duke's parents literally can't take care of him and that you can have multiple parental figures.......and that Bruce and Duke have literally refered to eachother as father and son in the comics and even official arts frame them that way too.Duke was bullied all the time,kicked out of multiple schools,had a hard time making friends and keeping them too,was targeted by the cops AS A MINOR(which he still is!!!!),lost his parents or rather his parents lost their sanity to The Joker and now he's expected to self-rely when older and less good people were given more grace and care than him.I think y'all should drop the respectability politics and just let the black kid have a dad💀If DC stands for 'Disregard Canon',then DC also stands for 'Duke Counts'

[moonlite-drabbles]

Duke Thomas looks after Tim Drake

Logically he doesn’t need to. Tim is Red Robin after all. A hero. And just like all heroes, they go through things. But the things Tim has been through?

Let’s just say they hit close to home.

Joker Junior—JJ—is a bit of an open secret in the Wayne household. Nobody talks about it, but everyone knows. Duke, a more recent addition, learns about it when he walks by Tim’s room one night, only to freeze as he catches the muffled sound of laughter. He knows that kind of laughter. It’s practically carved into his brain.

No warning is given before Duke busts into Tim room, expecting the worst. He finds Tim sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, laughing that terrible laugh.

“Tim!” Duke yells, panic spiking as he runs to his side. Had Joker broken in? Was Tim okay? He takes his shoulders and shakes him. Not again, please not again—

That seemed to be enough to snap Tim out of it, startling him lucid. “Duke?”

“Tim! You alright man? What happened—did Joker—”

Mortification dawns on Tim’s face, the detective immediately putting the pieces together. “Oh fuck. Sorry Duke I must’ve had a laughing fit. Sorry—someone should have warned you. God I’m so sorry.”

“You’re… you’re good? No Joker?” Duke moved away a bit, suddenly embarrassed by his reaction.

“No Joker. Sorry, this happens sometimes. Holdover from… well a bad run in with Joker when I was Robin. It um… was pretty messy.”

The explanation given after is… condensed, Duke suspects. Tim apologizes, knowing Duke’s own history with the joker. Duke tries to insist that’s bull, that he shouldn’t have to apologize for not telling him, but Tim gives a tight smile that says he doesn’t believe that.

Duke doesn’t push it. He’s not Dick, he doesn’t know how to make things like that better. After that night though, their dynamic seems to shift a bit.

Duke knows Tim is older than him, but that doesn’t matter. Whenever something Joker related comes up, Duke immediately volunteers himself to deal with it, no matter if it’s during the day or not. Duke is always happy to give a second pair of eyes to a case,

And secretly, while he likes making Tim (and everyone else) laugh, there’s something relieving when the laughter fades out and it stops. The pained smile on his mother’s face nowhere to be found.

For Tim’s credit, JJ hardly ever makes an appearance. Years on consistent therapy have helped. But healing is not a cure.

It’s after an all-hands-on-deck type mission that it happens. A laughing fit so hard the entire family wasn’t sure what to do. Tim JJ couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.

He laughs, stumbling through the manor, a concerned Wayne family following after. He smiles so hard, so painfully, clutching his stomach for air.

He wouldn’t stop, and eventually the hysterics laughter turned to choking as he laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe.

Duke holds him down while Dick runs and grabs a sedative.

Later, Dick would remark how bad it was. The worst he’d seen in years. But the episode ends, and the sedatives wear off, and Tim manages to slip out of the medbay without anyone realizing. Anyone except Duke, who immediately looks for him, and finds him on the roof.

“Hey man.”

“Hey Duke.” Tim responds, voice raspy from overuse.

“Doing alright?”

They talk for a bit. Voices hushed. Duke tries not to joke, knowing there’s been enough laughter for one night.

Eventually, Tim’s worries come out.

“I don’t want to be a pity case. I’m know I’m not delicate, that I’m not going to break. I just…” Tim pauses, “slip sometimes. And sometimes it scares me.”

And Duke turns his head to look out at the city. “You know, Tim, you give me hope.”

Tim lifts his head to give Duke a confused look.

“Hope for my parents. That maybe they might… get better. Even if some of it’s still there. I know I probably won’t ever get to see them normal again, but… it’s nice to have hope.”

[moonlite-drabbles]

hades x arcane crossover ⭐️

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That dish soap company Dove should do an Ad where instead of a baby duck they’re cleansing from the oil spill is emo Vi from arcane

[moonlite-drabbles]

timebomb