midnight-starwalkers

[midnight-starwalkers]

suddenly i'm 13 again. I'm sick to the touch staring out a glass into an empty space of pounding chests and throbbing bones. Surrounded by the intense anger which fuels everything about me. Suddenly i'm 17 laying beneath the floor boards of a home once filled with love and a welcoming closeness from a motherly touch, and here i am now. I have it all but feel as though it's nothing. The 12 foot distance from me and who i was feels like a long walk on burning hot coals which stain my feet black, inevitably destroying everything behind me, and my foolish selfishness will continue me on my path forward, embracing my ignorance in knowing that everything before me will be destroyed too. I'm in a dark room, using nothing but my hands to find myself, and spirit again. It's a long walk but i'll get there eventually.

_____________________________

Radio silence - N

[midnight-starwalkers]

"IGNORANCE"

Mother earth, tortured and raped.

Told her body gives us virtue, and a means to live, that she was only meant for us.

Her body - made of the perfect soil, soft and plush, the perfect air, breathable and fresh.

Her round body allows us to dig our hands deep inside her, taking what was never ours - Her soul.

Leaving her apathetic and sore.

- N

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(Ignore the switches and typos in the drawing, I was just spit balling poetry in math class lol)

[midnight-starwalkers]

I think the reason ive always wanted a son is so i can raise a man that will go out in the world and treat women with the respect that i've always wanted to be treated with,

I want to raise a lover, not a fighter

and the reason I'm so scared of having a daughter, is because I know she will go through the torment that i experienced throughout my female adolescences,

The glances from strange old men, the comments about how i look on the streets and the comments on my body from family members, the boys at school taunting me, sexualizing me, touching me,

I want to raise a powerful woman, but if I don't have the power myself how am I supposed to do that?

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

Here is a little doodle i did for my poem "The King"... lol i guess that's the title, anyways it needs some work but i thought i'd share - N

[midnight-starwalkers]

the daughter of the moon, born from Datura and Bleeding hearts, arose from her slumber in the early wake of the morn,

she drank the dew from the leaf of which she lay, hoping for something substantial to quench her thirst,

when she finished she let out her final song,

"I am the fire,

I am the air,

I am the wind that blows through my hair,

As dusk ends and dawn begins,

I will blow over my corpse when i'm dead,

I shall hold myself to the ground, in hopes that the fall will cushion the sorrow in my head"

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

when the dawn hits the sun where the levee breaks, the son will truly not know what he's done, forsaken by the words his mother fed to him like a drain to a pipe.

He'll yawn when it's done, as the fawn curls around his broken fingers, doe eyes begging for the solace that death could deliver,

from the beginning of time it was the rape of the ape that would ruin man kind,

kill the fawn, leave at dawn.

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

in a horrendous act of debauchery

the king rose to the throne in which the thorns lay

he sat in silence

the jester sneered for the foul act that had unforeseeably unfolded in the pale blue of his eyes

the queen laughed pitifully at the attempt of reconciliation by the kings foul mouth

"The love i feel must burn hotter than five thousand suns, but as we see it now, as the moment pass, i shall lay my head in solemn, for the fact, the act i have done has not been forgotten"

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

I could slowly feel myself slipping away.

It's a strange feeling, the life you once knew growing distant and cold.

Being thrown into a cage and told to sit and watch as your past deteriorates.

Forgetting the comforting faces of the people that loved you, feeling the resentment towards the new ones that hurt you.

The need to be cared for and loved consuming you, as you realize all you have left is yourself, and you'll have to make do with what you've got.

So you'll sit there, silently in the dark, planning out who you want to be, how you want to act, the person you'll become.

Turn the shell into something more, something fantastic, but when you look at your reflection all you can see is the monster.

The danger you are to yourself and others. The feeling of hate wells up inside you until you feel you're ready to explode.

The distractions you try to embed your mind with begin to stop working, and it happens. You reach your peak.

You begin to lash out, say things you don't mean, and you regret everything, and feel sorry for whoever has crossed your path.

You want to change, you want to be better, and still, nothing.

Maybe at your root you're evil, rotten, unkind and jealous. Maybe you pretend to be good. You pretend to be supportive, friendly, and kind.

Maybe throw on a sweet smile every once in a while, you know you don't mean it, you mean nothing that you do.

You’re a fake.

The doctors knew this.

And so did you.

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

when did i get so weak

flesh covers my bones

yet my soul aches

you drain the life out of me

I give and give till i cant give anymore

yet you still ask

you push me down

In my heart i know it's over

i'm trapped within our dynamic

I try to escape

you suck me back down

tears flood the room i'm trapped within and i forgive you

why do i keep forgiving you

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

reminiscence of once was

smoke in my lungs and my eyes fuelled red

delays in sight and absorption in sound

stupid words at the price of my own dignity

i can still taste the burning on my lips

at the time it all seemed fine,

waves of emotions courses through me at lightning speeds,

a million different tastebuds scattered across my tongue,

flavours you never could imagine,

now day by day the temptation increases

dark shadows cross my mind of the past that i'll never forget

ironic isn't it?

- N

[midnight-starwalkers]

forgetful nemesis of your mind

the disease carries out within,

names slip your mind and ages disappear,

your leaving your granddaughter standing all alone in fear,

fear for what might come of your mind,

and what will come of hers when the generational disease takes over hers too,

when the time comes it'll all be gone,

just like your mother and hers before you, you'll slowly drift

until the only thing left inside you is you.

- N