loveandwarandmagick
all i do is lose
335 posts
daniela // eighteen trying my best and uhh this is a carry on / wayward son blog
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loveandwarandmagick · 3 years ago
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imagine how tired i am,, writing fic that’s 10k+ words and only receiving 40 something kudos,,,, 
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loveandwarandmagick · 3 years ago
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logging back in on this blog to say that i loved awtwb and the carry on series as a whole, and that the absolute worst take i’ve seen in regards to criticism is that the series is ‘harry potter fanfiction’ 
people are so desperate to discredit the beautiful storyline that they’ll ignore every ounce of complexity that rainbow put into the characters. like okay if you want to criticize, there’s plenty else that you can call out (if you don’t like first person, just say that. if you think rainbow shouldn’t write fantasy, say that.) but it’s the laziest take to discredit the entire series just bc you think she’s reusing the harry potter storyline. if you’re comparing it, you’ll miss the entire point of the story looking for comparisons and how carry on fails to compare to hp.
anyway, the series is one of my favorites, flaws and all. there’s so much care put into characterization, and even if fantasy isn’t her strongest suit, i think the worldbuilding is satisfactory because it doesn’t matter, so long as the characters can live in it and find themselves. i also think it’s important to realize that you can still like something as it is, while recognizing what it is. if you want to condemn something based on its flaws or what you think it’s portraying, you’ll never genuinely like anything (especially in media.)
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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,,, your “daniela come to tumblr” was rather compelling, you fiend 
this is VERY late whoops ,, still love u very much makayla <3
nickname: dani (though it reminds me of middle school which is like ,, gag
zodiac: taurus sun, virgo rising, and capricorn moon <3
height: 5′3 (but 6′2 w/ airpods) 
last thing i googled: sushi places near me (craving sushi SO bad rn)
song stuck in my head: smth from the death note musical,, i’m not sure but it was on repeat last night while i was trying to sleep ,, awful experience
number of followers: 528 currently 
hours of sleep: uhhh,, six ? not enough that’s for sure 
lucky number: i don’t have one :( i’ve been told it was weird NOT to, but like,, i simply do not 
favorite song: of all time ,, prolly ‘the last thing on my mind’ by joan baez,, currently though, ‘pov’ by ariana grande (it’s SO good) 
favorite instrument: any string instrument is beautiful,, the cello though,, it sounds like life 
dream job: successful author or bookstore owner, though i don’t want to Work 
aesthetic: a wannabe dark academic who can’t quite pull it off. i was once called a pretty girl bookworm 
favorite author: okay i KNOW i’m gonna get heat for this but maggie stiefvater. her writing style is fucking INCREDIBLE and i wish i had that. but otherwise, jandy nelson, because her writing makes me feel like i’m floating.
favorite animal noises: pig oink !!! or my cats purring 
random: technically i’m ‘active’ on this blog, but i don’t receive notifications so i’m basically brain dead on it <3
i would IMAGINE many people have been tagged at this point so,, if you see this, you’re tagged. thank you makayla <3
seventeen questions !!
thanks for the tag my dear @unconfirmed-vampire <3
nickname: everyone pretty much calls me makayla but the occasional mak does come up every once and a while
zodiac: cancer ! im the textbook definition of one its so bad
height: 5’6 on a good day
last thing i googled: polls for virginia and texas ahahahahahahelp
song stuck in my head: achilles come down by gang of youths
number of followers: 609 !
hours of sleep: last night ? a solid 8. preferably ? again: a solid 8. used to stay up all night in middle school and my god was that unhealthy
lucky number: 11. its my bday and also my usual placement within a class in alphabetical order thanks to my last name
favorite song: currently its in this shirt by the irrepressibles
favorite instrument: violin goes hard
dream job: occupational therapist
aesthetic: does that 70’s show count as an aesthetic ??? i just like large groups of friends being happy together
favorite author: uuuuuh i just kinda read whatever interests me but i guess technically pablo neruda
favorite animal noises: my dog rubbing his head against my carpet as a way to pet himself
random: currently reading the secret history and i just wanna give henry a hug
everyone i know has been tagged so like if you have been tagged i am SORRY: @mageicalwishes @lullabyofmyworld @adamarks @loveandwarandmagick (daniela come to tumblr)
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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my hiatus ends today,,, 
first thing i did was check twitter 
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what a day to come back am i RIGHT ?
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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he was too proud of himself. the magickal community does not claim him 
friendly reminder, there was this one dude in watford who had a belt buckle as his magical thingy and he had thrust his pelvis every time he wanted to cast a spell……can we please get a moment of silence for him.
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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my baby :( mi amor :( angel precioso :(:(:(
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I am a fraud, the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen.
Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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this is absolutely beautiful wow
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The spread I did based on a Carry On scene! This was my participation for the charity digital zine @goldendayszine
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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every time i try to follow someone new, it unfollows, so i am very sorry if you’ve noticed lol 
So apparently there’s a Tumblr glitch that’s making folks unfollow mutuals. I haven’t deliberately unfollowed any mutuals and I don’t check my list of who I follow so please let me know if I’m not following you anymore!
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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after i heard about george floyd’s murder, i couldn’t sleep. 
after i heard about breonna taylor’s murder, i was so angry that i saw spots in my vision. 
my heart is breaking for jacob blake. for a man who was breaking up a fight and got shot by ignorant police. seven times in the back, with his young children in the car. 
we need to be angry. we are allowed to be angry. 
being an ally is more important than you think. spread awareness, spread love. be angry, let yourself hate the system that takes these innocent lives from us. 
i don’t speak up often on this blog. i usually do that through my other socials, because to me, tumblr has always been a space of avoidance for me, to feel comforted. but god, this shit is really upsetting. and it needs to be said, as a non-black ally, that i see you. i feel for you, i don’t know your pain but i feel it for you. i’m so, so sorry that this is still something we’re dealing with. 
i see you. i stand with you. i will fight with you, if i must. 
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‘Race and racism is a reality that so many of us grow up learning to just deal with. But if we ever hope to move past it, it can’t just be on people of color to deal with it. It’s up to all of us – Black, white, everyone ��� no matter how well-meaning we think we might be, to do the honest, uncomfortable work of rooting it out. It starts with self-examination and listening to those whose lives are different from our own. It ends with justice, compassion, and empathy that manifests in our lives and on our streets.’ — Michelle Obama
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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top ten worst posts 
wait can u explain why u think simons gonna die in awtwb ??? like how are u so sure what led u there im curious
LMAO its really more of a joke than anything, but i do kinda believe its an option.
firstly rainbow has never really ended any of her books in a happy light (i havent read landline so i may be wrong), theyve always had slightly bittersweet endings ??
simon dying is the only way, that i personally believe, his story can end without any loose strings. he wasnt supposed to be born, he wasnt supposed to be so full of magic, he wasnt supposed to exist. period. i think by giving up his magic he balanced the world out in a way, but theres always the after effects no one pays attention to.
also, wayward son started WITH an epilogue, wrapping up carry on, which was simons book. rainbow has said that wayward son is more bazs book, and from what i personally believe awtwb will be pennys book (still debating on this one tho). i think simon dying would just ultimately be the only way he can have a purpose after the events of carry on, which is something he so dearly wants. he spent all of wayward son feeling incomplete and like there was something missing.
rainbow said in an interview a few months ago that she wasnt sure where exactly simon would end up in awtwb, and taking so long to make that decision is kinda telling to me. if you want a character to live, you just know. if youre thinking of killing them off, it kills you to decide and fully commit to.
overall, i think hes the most likely of the gang to die. and looking at fangirl, the book that inspired carry on, cath wanted to kill off baz because she felt it fit the characters purpose and role perfectly. i think that was rainbow speaking about characters in general.
do i want to be right ? no
will i continue to obsess over the idea ? yes
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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in reference to rainbow’s tweets about awtwb:
“wondering what’s possible for you” is clearly simon’s phrase. is it possible for him to get better? to feel like himself again. to have baz and to have a healthy relationship with him. 
but this is the first time she hints at baz’s faltering (i might be wrong, this is just me speculating)
“and what you should settle for?” 
because yes, he loves simon more than anything. but it’s not enough to love someone if you’re not loved in return. and there gets to be a point where you ask yourself if you’re okay with settling for something unfulfilling. to me, this is baz asking if he really wants this, after being convinced for so long that he did. 
in conclusion: i am very, VERY sad because these sentences that she revealed offer significantly less reassurance than i thought they would, and the possibility of going through another emotionally harrowing novel makes me want to SCREAM. 
will i read it, still ? absolutely. holding out hope for a better ending. 
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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logging off, i have seen enough today <3
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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hi meri, thank you for the tag @merisalright !
it seems that i am not working on anything, but SURPRISE , i am INDEED still working on time after time (no it has NOT been published) 
i’m hoping to do as much as possible before school really starts getting busy, so i’m able to post consistent chapter updates
Dear Simon Snow, the very first reply read. Simon’s heart nearly beat out of his chest in his excitement to read through it, but the simple message on it was discouraging.
I am pleased to see that you didn’t perish or get caught in some snare in time, and that you’re doing well. Write back if you’d like to, or don’t. It’s up to you, truly. 
And Simon did, right in that moment.
(and i have an andreil fic otw for anyone who likes those <3)
tagging: @ninemagicks , @mageicalwishes, @jostens-pitch !
SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY
brooooooooooooooooooooos i thought i wouldnt get tagged this week lol. thank u to @amywaterwings @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire and @gampyre ily all and i love what u guys shared eheheh <3
i have not written anything because i am LAZY even though i should try and finish this wip. its still the same one- “apple juice and girls”
All the manner’s the school has taught her fly out the window and she plops right beside her. The girl flinches and scoots a few centimetres away but it doesn’t bother Simon. In fact, she barely notices it. 
“Do you like it?”
“Like what? The fact that you’re being a pain in the ass?” 
“No. The manga.” 
She stares at Simon weirdly. “You spoiled it for me, dumbass.” 
“Nah. You probably knew, smartass.” 
“I hate you.”
“You knew though.”
She looks at Simon with a odd look. “I should drop it.”
“Noooo.” She pouts and slumps forward.
tagging @loveandwarandmagick @annabeth541 @andanteavians @satsukii and anyone else who sees this because i’ve forgotten every single mutual i have despite the fact i’ve only been off tumblr for like a week 
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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a few things abt simon & baz that make me soft (and kinda sad)
alternatively titled: this post was to celebrate 500 followers but then someone unfollowed me :’(
edit: i gained five followers after this so LMAO thank y’all, now it’s an official milestone <3
- baz thought that he’d never get anything from simon. can you imagine his exhilaration, the thrill of working together to help his mother. the way his hatred for simon’s destructive heroism must have dissolved to make room for his admiration at the way simon was so willing to drop their antagonism to do the right thing 
- even though simon doesn’t get many cheesy, heartfelt lines, his are sososo very significant. those little flashes of admiration he has for baz, those moments where he can’t think of the right thing to say. the fact that, no matter what they had to deal with, he chose to stay by baz’s side. the fact is that, he loves him so much that he’d do anything for him. he left his friends to go back for him. he’s willing to let him go, for the sake of his happiness. 
- baz has felt love for simon for so long that he knows exactly how to articulate it. he knows exactly how to describe the feelings, to explain what simon means to him. simon doesn’t, because he’s never really known love like that. he’d wanted agatha before, but it wasn’t anything like the feeling he had for baz. 
- they held hands often. 
- baz just wants to take care of simon in his slump. he’d do anything to make him happy, which includes going on that shitty roadtrip just to see him smile. the same way simon thinks that letting him go will be better for him, baz thinks that simon thrives in america, and he’d be willing to do that to make him happy.
- they both find each other beautiful.
- “why can’t you see that i wouldn’t be happy anywhere without you?” & “the crucible gave me you” show just how much simon means to baz. the way he was his reason, his support when things were difficult. and just how much that still means, even though simon’s not holding him up anymore. the way that simon still supports him, just by existing. 
- the whole “we’re always fighting” / “or not” interaction is so important. because even though simon can’t always say exactly what he feels or means, he’s adamant that they don’t have to fight. he’s trying to help baz unlearn that narrative of what they were taught growing up, because he doesn’t believe it anymore. 
- both of them thought that after their first kiss, nothing else would happen. baz was ready to just go back to the way things were, and simon thought that if he didn’t go back to him, he’d forget about it. instead, they made the active choice not to ignore it. this says a lot about baz, who loves simon so much that he was willing to go with whatever simon wanted, and a lot about simon, who refused to let baz play it off as nothing. 
- baz shows how much he wants simon by letting him take the lead - suggesting their relationship in the first place, continuing to maintain it, letting him decide how to handle things. simon shows how much he wants baz by pushing his own boundaries - diving into unfamiliar territory with his sexuality just to keep baz, actively going behind his beliefs to ensure that baz gets justice. 
and finally... 
-i’d tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber,” is simon’s confession. it’s ‘sorry i can’t be normal, sorry i can’t touch you the way i used to, sorry i can’t be what you need.’ it’s him admitting how deep the love goes, unable to express it. it’s him wanting to be as close as possible, closer than that, bypassing all the physicality and the pain. all his love broken down to the barest, rawest form of it.
that is how much he loves him. that is how much he’s unable to show.
 thank you for (almost) 500 followers !
i’m so thankful for all of y’all that stick by this blog, and support me on ao3 as well, n’ i’m glad that y’all enjoy my content. this is kinda long so i’ll prolly put the rest under a cut, but yes, thank you very very much ! <3 remember, my inbox is always open for anything, n’ i’m always open to making friends (please do be aware that i’m eighteen though :) )
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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a lovely reminder for all content creators ! this goes for artists who feel underappreciated bc their art didn’t get many notes, fic writers who never get comments or kudos, and edit/moodboard creators who struggle with seeing other’s work blow up
no one will ever have the capacity to create in the same way that you do. there is nobody who will produce the exact same thing, who will have the exact same idea, or understand exactly how you feel about your work 
be proud !! you did the thing that you love doing, and you should keep doing it for as long as you love it !!!
listen. l i s t e n. listen. kudos does not equal quality. popularity does not equal quality. i have read some “fandom classics” that i could barely fathom how boring or terrible i - personally - found them, and i have stumbled across some absolute gems that didn’t even break 100 kudos. 
what is good doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves. it’s sad, but true. just because you haven’t - or possibly never take - off in fandom doesn’t mean your work isn’t astounding and beautiful, it doesn’t mean you should stop writing; it just means that a very select corner of the internet missed the diamond in the rough. 
fanfiction is flooded with content, there are so many of us out there producing it these days, and having a fic that takes off is almost as much about luck as it is about talent. never let a few artificial numbers on the internet dictate to you what is and isn’t worthy writing. 
additionally, you don’t have to read or enjoy fics just bcs they’re big. i cannot count the amount of times i’ve read the first paragraph of something fandom adores and immediatly exited out of it.
just… do what makes you happy. write what you wanna write, read what you wanna read. understand that while we all want recognition - and some deserve it more than others - we did not get into fanfiction for that recognition.
recognition is good, but sometimes we get all tangled up chasing it and stop enjoying writing and reading and fandom as a whole along the way. be careful of that, please, or you’ll burn yourself out.
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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happy boys !! they’re in love !!!
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Baz and Simon
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loveandwarandmagick · 4 years ago
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carry on spoilers (for anyone who hasn’t read the book)
just remembered that ebb died and my day is thoroughly ruined !
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