lostgirlhappygirl

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Friend: " Let's go to the mall"

Me: "TODAY!"

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Lmao so I'm watching tv with my mom and its a scene with these 2 gay men are preparing for their wedding and my mom asks me -

" Who's getting married "

Me: "they are"

Mom: "Yeah but which one?"

Me: "both of them"

Mom: "To who?"

Me: "Each other."

Mom: "......... "

Me: " ....... "

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Argh these 2 would make a crazy cute couple. Just totally rooting for these 2 be low key gay for each other

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Yes. I live for Adam being bisexual

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Yes. I live for Adam being bisexual

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Apparently loving Quentin Tarantino and his movies is just a phase? I dunno man he's pretty badass how do you get over that?

But like I'm holding my breath because I'm scared he'll probably be identified in one of this sexual assault cases. Hollywood men are burning for all their shit and rightfully so

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Come on darling, if you love me say it first

Sam Smith - Say it first

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Honestly I think believing in true love in these times is the most disappointing thing you could believe in.

Its scam isn't it?😭

[lostgirlhappygirl]

If you love me like you say you do, why do I feel so blue?

Aaron Taylor - Blue

[lostgirlhappygirl]

So sad and disturbed, sorry its much too long

There’s kind of a lot of things I need to unpack from what I’ve just read so yall gonna have to give me a minute while I sort a few things out in my mind. This is about the things Ive seen on twitter concerning Lesego Legobane or as shes better known as Thickleeyonce, and her walk at SAFashion Week.

Okay so what happened was Leeyonce got invited to model during fashion week and from what I gather this was a huge deal for her and a dream come true. So there was a 40 second video of her walking and from what I could tell it was a walk just like any other girl would walk. It seemed so normal. But other twitter followers had different opinions.Some people wrote some super hurtful things under the video and some people cheered the hate on and some people tried to show love and support but unfortunately human nature teaches us to focus on the negative and unfortunately for Leeyonce thats what she did. she posted a string of tweets and Instagram post conveying her unhapiness over the whole thing. She said she had been crying so much that her stomach was turning and the whole made her physically sick.

So this whole thing actually made me feel a type of way. I remeber the first time I knew about Leeyonce was when I was a bit younger and she was on a talkshow talking about a pic of her in a bikini where people were slamming her about her weight and body in general. She was so confident and she spoke so beautifully and I thought damn if she can love everything about herself why can’t I? I really wish I could say and thats when I started to love my body but it wasn’t. Remember I was young and in high school so my body goals were thin models who still had big boobs somehow. But regardless I liked, I just did. I didn’t keep up with her for a long time though. during this time I was going through my own personal self image issues and I just couldnt be bothered with crap like body positivity. So end of last was maybe the first time I began realising how depressed I was and early this year I decided to make an effort to not hate myself. I started eating right, sort of exercising and I just tried being positive. In my quest of positivity I stumbled upon Leeyonce’s Instagram. There she was showing her rolls and thighs not giving a fuck and I was yes, this is fearless as fuck! And I decided that I would love my current body in all its glory right now while trying to make myself better but love of my body didnt have to come with a number.

So when someone who’s so positive comes under fire like that I felt awful. Like I hate seeing negative shit like that, I love positive energy and love. I love carefree shit so disgusting tweets like that were hard to read. A lot of people fail to realise that real people are behind twitter handles so shit like that can actually hurt them. So what really got me was how people were justifying attacking her. She had previously body shamed skinny women in one of her tweets and said she felt sorry for skinny women with thigh gaps because their vaginas must be cold or something stupid like that. She said this in 2013. 4 years ago. That is literally the only thing people keep coming at her for. I have 2 issues with this that Ill highlight:

First of all it was 4 years ago. People grow, people change, people learn. Her actions and words since then have shown maturity and growth in terms of body shaming people. You telling me you can’t cut her a break? 

Secondly (and bare with me here) what she said was so stupid but I cant imagine her word really tore anyone apart. please dont get me wrong, body shaming on every fucking level is disgusting and unacceptable but thinner women just don’t feel it the same way. The world is literally geared and designed for skinny people. You’ll always find clothes to wear, other female role models that look like you, models always look like you and you don’t feel rejection from men or anyone stems from your weight. Theres no sense of marginalization from the world. So yes I dont want to minimise how skinny people may feel about themselves and their bodies but bigger people have it much worse and it just feels like everything is against us. Her tweet was stupid but its nothing compared to the shit storm that came over her.

Anyway this turned out to be stupidly long and I think I just wanted to write how I feel somewhere. I guess to end this off I’d like to say that being people have feelings and though it may seem funny to laugh and joke about someone it could really hurt someone in the long run. There are better way to reprimand someone of their behaviour without tearing them apart. Positivity is such a beautiful thing to send out into the universe and to people. I just hope for a time where we can accept people for eveything they are, warts and all.

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Just got done watching Jane the Virgin and I'm still agitated by this season. Like Adam is so sweet and perfect, he's basically Michael with tattoos.

Can we dial douchebag Rafael way back. Like we know he's a good ,damaged guy but this rudeness to the mother of his child seems like a stretch to me. But I'm kinda jaded when it comes to Raf so you can't really trust me lol

*stray observations*

- uhm female Ro is kinda hot. I hardly recognized him😂

- Adam first man God ever created - Adam first man Jane ever loved. Lol we see yall, you aint slick

- Rafael and Petra break up was swift. I hadn't even wrapped my mind around them yet... anyway Petra should get with Chuck again. There's something so refreshing about them together

- I actually didn't realise Tyler Posey had so many tattoos. I really thought some were drawn on for the show lmao. Its whatever though because the boy is still fine as hell

[lostgirlhappygirl]

You know what? Fuck Rafael, Jane the Virgin is really taking it out of me this time... got me rooting for some rando guy because Raf can't get his shit together.

Like making Raf and Petra a thing is just so tedious. Yall really gonna do this again? I'm so checked out man. Also there aren't enough shirtless Raf scenes that are gonna make me less annoyed with him.

Another non issue I have an issue with is, is there only 1 adorable Latino child actor in the industry? How is The Mindy Project 's Leo also the new Mateo? Its fine because that kid is cute as crap but it is hard to think of him as Mateo when I'm invested in Leo

[lostgirlhappygirl]

On the real though how yall type risky texts without immediately wanting to throw your phone in the toilet???

[lostgirlhappygirl]

You were born broken. That's your birth right

[lostgirlhappygirl]

This is random

I'm legitimately mad at this girl and I'm trying to be a grown up and just let it go but I honestly can't get it out of my mind. Think I'm especially mad because this girl is mad sensitive and you have to constantly think about what you gonna say in case you offend her but she freely takes swipes at me.

I admit she probably doesn't know that what she said is a fucking trigger for me but its still not really considered polite. I'm not one to go talk to someone and tell them what they said irritated me, that shit doesn't solve anything the words were said the feelings felt. But like honestly I'm just disappointed.

Anyway hopefully I'll feel better now that I've expressed this in writing and if I don't see her for a while

[lostgirlhappygirl]

Of all the Logic songs to blow up I wish it wasn't 1-800-273-8255.

Don't get me wrong I love that song so much but its kinda the Oscar bait of music. Its great but its more of an awareness campaign than an actual song...

Urgh maybe I'm just being a dick though

[lostgirlhappygirl]

I'm way to good at goodbyes

Once again Sam Smith is writing whats in my heart and making it better. Sometimes I feel like a psycho for having crazy feelings but Sam just wrote something that made me feel hey you're not alone with these thoughts

When he wrote:

"I'm never gonna let you close to me Even though you mean the most to me 'Cause every time I open up, it hurts So I'm never gonna get too close to you Even when I mean the most to you In case you go and leave me in the dirt Every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry And every time you walk out, the less I love you Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true I'm way to good at goodbyes"

Really made me think there's times you waste crying over the wrong guy. Wishing they would feel the same way that you feel for them. Wishing that they would give you some kind of sign that shows that they love you. Wishing that one day they will become the guy you'd been waiting for. But each time youre left disappointed because as much a people change I think they mostly stay the same.

We're foolish when it comes to the ones we love. Wanting someone is painful. Being disappointed by someone over and over again hurts but over time you expect that behaviour from them and it becomes less painful and you're left thinking to yourself "how much longer will I accept this behaviour?" Thats when it dawns that youre not gonna last and that inevitable clock on your relationship starts ticking.

Anyway on a lighter note, I am a hopeless romantic and I do believe we're destined to meet someone who'll make everything new again and press the reset button and all that sadness, loneliness and disappointment will become a distant memory of another version of yourself.