lostandlefttowander-blog
Captain Sooty Colander
52 posts
A blog for my terrible writing and all No Mans Sky content and O.C. Material.
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 1 year ago
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 2 years ago
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Jedi Knight Aa’yan Kotara moved subtlety through the crowded cantina. She was dressed as a talent scout, a trade not uncommon to older twilek women, each half of her double bladed lightsaber tucked down the sides of her high boots. She was to meet her contact here and had arrived precisely on time, only to find her contact was late, so she mingled to not attract attention. She stopped and paused at young twilek dancers, mimicking the appraising glances she had received so many times in her life from recruiters, many years ago. Before the Jedi, before she became a Padawan, when the force was just a whisper in her, she had killed the recruiter who purchased her from some minor Hutt. The Jedi starship happened to come across her adrift in space, the recruiters twisted body still strapped to the pilots chair. She knew now it was the dark side that made her twist that old Rodian into grotesque, bone snapping shapes. Her fear had awakened something truly terrible that day, and had it not been for Jedi Master Yendi who sensed the wound in the force such an act had caused, she would probably be on a much darker path today…
Kotara shook her head, her long lekku twitching in irritation.
The young Twilek before her stopped and looked suddenly frightened at the subtle gesture that only another twilek would have noticed. She had misunderstood it’s origin and thought she had somehow displeased the recruiter, a lethal mistake in some cantinas.Kotara smiled at the girl, patted her arm and stepped away.
The cantina was built in a large circle around a central
fighting pit. There were two Kath hounds tearing into one another at the moment, and The Jedi couldn’t help but stop and offer a moment of pity to the poor animals. Across the pit, she spotted her contact, and reached out with the force to make him look her way. His eyes slowly drifted up, as if of their own accord, and she shot him a displeased look at the credit chit in his hand. Wasnt late, then. Just too distracted gambling. He grinned at her and tucked the chit in his breast pocket before heading around towards her. She motioned to a table by the wall and made her way there. As she sat down, she felt a momentary tremor in the force, sharp and searingly hot, and gone as fast as it arrived. The Jedi dismissed it, the dark side was to be expected in places like this. Her contact emerged from the crowd and headed towards the table. He had managed to acquire two pints of Gammorian beer on his was over, and plopped one down in front of Kotara before guzzling his own. She eyed the foamy, thick substance with barely feigned disgust.
“Not while on duty, thanks.” She scanned the crowd with the
force, ensuring no one was paying them any attention.She detected nothing but an undercurrent of what could only be described as a ‘heat’ in the force. Surely the many lives lost to that pit have created a place of dark side energy. She made a mental note to suggest the council send sentinels here to cleanse this place. “Now, do you have information on the Gallihad?”
“Not so fast girlie” the old mercenary reached across the table
and took the second pint, “I need…assurances first. Don’t wanna be caught up in them’s you’re about to apprehend, see?” He quaffed the second pint as a serving droid buzzed by.
*grab his skinny neck and make him talk*
Kotara shook her head, dismissing the thought. She flashed her
best smile and leaned over the table, reaching out with the force to make her contact feel more at ease ,”The Republic will punish any involved in the theft of the ship, but will reward those who aide in its swift recovery.”
“I ain’t had nothin to do with it’s takin’.”
*liar*
“I’m sure. And I’m prepared to offer substantial financial recompense for your information.”
*greed* we’ve got him now. She sat back and took a tight bundle of physical credits from her pouch. The brick of credits made a significant thud when she placed it on the table. The old mans eyes grew wide.
“I heard she was laid up off bespin ways, last I heard, anyhow..” his eyes never left the credits, “truth, I swear!”
He looked up at her pleadingly.
*I need this,in over my head* the impression washed over her. His desperation told her his info was most likely good. She slid the bundle towards him
“I’ll know where to find you if it’s not.” she fixed him with a
stare and pinned him down briefly with the force before letting him rise. He snatched the brick, gave her a hasty salute and made a beeline for the bookies office towards the rear of the cantina. “May the force be with you..” she whispered.her heart went out to the pitiful wretch as he shuffled away. Her father had lost her due to gambling debts. The hutts took her, and his hand when he resisted. Gambling lost you more than chips..
She stood to go, ready to leave this pit when the force opened
beneath her like a well. She had the distinct sense that she was standing above a void of nothing but black hatred and unimaginable pain. And it seemed to be moving, getting closer. She had never wanted to flee a place more in her life, but she couldn’t move. This black hole in the force held her in place with a gravity all its own. It drew her to the pit. She walked, drawn to the pit like a star meeting something far more terrible than it. Her eyes fixed on the entrance to the pit carved into its high walls. Behind that door stood a wound in the force so vast and deep she feared some twisted monster would emerge from it. It had a distasteful familiarity to it as well, and Kotara shook as the doors hissed open. She couldn’t focus well enough to understand the booming huttese coming over the loudspeaker, announcing the fighter as he stepped through the doors. The noise of the crowd was drowned by the roaring quiet that filled Kotaras mind as her eyes fell on a young Zabrack with pale white skin. To anyone untrained in the force, he would just appear to be a bold young man ready to fight, his stance still and predatory. To Kotara, he was the center of a silent storm, the strength of the force in him so apparent that at first, the Jedi Knight thought she was looking at something impossible
“Is this a Sith Lord?” She whispered to herself. The second door
opened beneath her and another fighter stepped into the ring. His life force was like a tea candle next to a young star as he approached the young zabrack. The Zabrack and Human nodded and stepped back to their corners, waiting for the bell to signal the fight. The force rapidly coalesced into the Zabrack, and Kotara watched with fascination as the storm that swirled around the young man suddenly stopped and seemed to implode into him. His presence of mind was entirely in the force now, and for a moment they connected. His eyes snapped up and met hers in a moment of recognition before the bell sounded. He never took his eyes off Kotara as he dodged his enemies first attack, sidestepping him easily and knocking him aside. Kotara nodded to him, ‘I see you’ and as if feeling the thought, he turned and faced his opponent. Kotara had to withdraw from the force, and felt the weight of the darkness subside as she tuned it out. Watching the fight now was almost like a dance. The young Zabrack instincts and training were apparent, and he would have been a formidable warrior without the aid of the force. With it, he was untouchable, and his blows were devastating. Kotara could sense he was purposely drawing the fight out, dodging each blow while delivering pulled-back punches of his own. His opponent was getting tired and frustrated as each swing missed the Zabrack by inches. It was like he knew what he was going to do before he did. After a brief exchange of blocked blows, the Zabrack delivered a knockout blow directly to the chin and his opponent hit the dirt. Cries of outrage and victory mingled as the young man walked a pace around the arena, eyes never leaving his opponent untill a med droid came in thru the pit door. He looked back at Kotara before ducking inside.
Every instinct inside her told her to leave, but she had to know
who this boy was. He was able to command the dark side in a way she nor any Jedi had seen before. It was a strange, yet compelling idea. To be of the darkness, but not be consumed by it. Some theorized that a Sith named Revan had some something similar, but the Order had any records pertaining to Sith Lords highly restricted. She had her information, but she had decided she wasn’t leaving without this Zabrack with her, whatever the cost. The Rodian guards at the entrance to the lower levels stopped her at the door and insisted on frisking her.
“Look, I’m a talent scout, I do the frisking okay? I need to see the hutt in charge” she pressed the radians mind, encouraging him to see it her way
“Ferula is a busy woman. You deal with me.” The rodian was eying her outfit, or rather what was in it.
“ and so am I, bug. Now move it!”
*just a squeeze * she pushed away the thought and fully influenced the rodians mind, his eyes glazing over
“Ferula…yea sure…this way…” he opened the door and wandered off down the hall, almost drunkenly. She had always been a bit heavy handed with force persuasion. Ferula the Hutt sat in her expansive office, a small table to one side laden with credits and chits as she counted out the last fights take. It didn’t seem to be what she expected
“Bets down again! Pudu…” she slammed a datapad down on the table as the doomed rodian brought Kotara directly into the office
“Uhh boss…talent scout here…what’s name deerie?..” a small rope of drool was leaking from the rodians tubular mouth. Maybe a bit much indeed. Kotara stepped forward, hoping she hasn’t gotten this idiot killed
“Ale’ Fortuna, talent scout for czerka corps, ma’am. It’s very nice to make your acquaintance.” Kotara bowed, knowing flattery was a good start with any Hutt.
“Huh? Choy? Sa this?!” She threw a datapad at the Rodians head, causing him to come-to and duck in terror. “So we’re just bringing anyone into my offices now?” The Hutt was enraged, Kotara had to step in quickLay before she called for guards
“Your excellence, please , I come with an offer I believe you’d
most appreciate. I’d like to buy that young fighter who was in the ring just now. “ she smiled wide and produced another brick of credits. She had come prepared to bribe her contact more than was necessary. The Galihads recovery was important, but the force was telling her this was as well.
“He’s not for sale, and if he was…it would be for more than that” the hutt leaned back on her expansive cushion and took up the end of her long stemmed pipe, taking a few contemplative puffs “however, bets are down.. no one who matters wants to fight him anymore. He never loses, my boy. Never.” The hutt shook her massive head, chuckling at some memory. “But regardless, he’s worth more to me than that. He has a substantial debt to me.”
Kotaras mind worked overtime trying to figure a way to leverage the hutt.
*greed* yes, greed was her primary motivation, as with all hutts. This hutt runs a pit fighting ring. People watch and bet on interesting fights, not inevitable conclusions. Suddenly, an idea struck her
“Great Ferula, I have a question.” The hutt puffed her pipe and nodded, interested where this might lead
“Have you ever seen a lightsaber duel?” The hutt went still for a moment, contemplating.
“I have not, though I have heard they’re quite the spectacle..”
the hutt was intrigued at this line of questioning.
“What if I told you..” Kotara bit her lip, knowing this was a risk, but the force told her it was right
“I have a way to help you facilitate such a spectacle?” The hutts eyes widened a little as she leaned forward to speak
“And how would you do that? Have a couple of Jedi in your orga
nization? Just waiting to jump through hoops?” The slug laughed deep in her belly. Kotara leaned down and pulled out the two halves of her double bladed lightsaber. It was built to split apart, allowing for duel handed saber technique and double bladed technique. She held the sabers in offering to the hutt, her eyes transfixed now on the incalculably valuable weapons.
“Before you ask, yes, they’re real “ she ignited the blades and
their bright blue beams illuminated the room, tuned perfectly to match the deep blue of her skin. They hummed softly as she demonstrated their middle couplings that allowed switch attachment.
“You’re not really some czerka corps slaver are you?”
“He’s not some punk Zabrack kid who happens to be good a fighting either, is he?”
“Bah! I knew you Jedi would come for him someday. But he will
not go freely, nor will you just walk out of here with him. I have some friends clad in beskar who would love to meet that saber in combat.” The Hutt grinned, her hand hovering over the concealed panic button that would summon her personal Mandalorian bodyguards. Worth every credit, she thought to herself.
“Great Ferula, I think we can come to a bargain. I’m offering
these sabers. Imagine the fights , the spectacles, you could put on with these! “ the hutt stroked her chin in thought
“It means that much to you? Is he really so great in your force magic?” Kotara nodded solemnly,
“He could be dangerous if allowed to persist…here.” She held up her hands in a placating gesture “great Ferula, I am being honest with you. He needs to come with me, or he will surely bring destruction down on you. The dark side surrounds him like a storm.”
The great hutt seemed to think it over, taking several long puffs before finally answering.
“The sabers, and the credits. And he’s yours, miss Fortuna..”
Kotara handed over the hutts requested payment. A protocol droid scurried down a hallway and soon two of the biggest Mandos Kotara had ever seen emerged with the Zabrack between them. They released him and he stepped forward, turning to Ferula and bowing before turning to Kotara. He looked so much smaller in person, a boy of maybe 15 stood before her now, barely any hint of the storm that once surrounded him. But that unnerving power was still there, palpable even beneath the surface. The horns protruding from his head were chipped and cracked, but more strange about him was he had no tattoos as other Zabracks had. His pale skin carried only years of scars.
“Take him and go.” The hut waved a dismissal and looked down at
the new treasures in her hand. Kotara hated parting with her lightsabers, but she could build another. This boy was irreplaceable. He could be the answer to many questions held by both the order, and herself. The memory of when she touched the dark side has always haunted her. It filled her with fear of falling entirely. Maybe this boy could teach her the balance he had found. He didn’t speak a word as they made their way thru the lower levels and Onto the cantina floor. He stopped and gave the arena a final look before turning away from it and following Kotara out the door. The suns of tattooine were setting as they emerged into the dusty corridor that shielded the cantina doors from the hard winds. The Jedi turned to the boy and looked down at him. He was almost her height, and thin. His wirery frame belied the strength she’d seen him demonstrate in the pits.
“My name is Aa’yan Kotara. I’m a Jedi Knight. I was here to col
lect some information, but the force seems to have brought us together. I’m going to bring you before the Jedi council.” The boy just looked at her with large, grey eyes.
“I have heard this..Jedi before, in story.” He smiled at her shyly “I be Jedi too?”
She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently “ I honestly don’t know. The order doesn’t take anyone as old as you…but I feel in the force that you and I are bound. I will train you, with or without the permission of the council. The force guides me. “
~On board Aa’yan Kotaras ship, en route to Coruscant~
The boy continued to amaze her. In their short time together she had seen him display an impressive range of force abilities. They were meditating together now in the cargo hold. The serenity within his mind seemed to affect Kotara as well, meditation was sometime difficult for the troubled twi’lek.
“Who trained you in the force?” The question spoke almost of its own accord. The boy opened his eyes slowly and smiled.
“Monks, on a hidden moon. I do not know where anymore.” He closed his eyes and fell back into that fathomless pool of serenity almost immediately. Kotaras mind was racing. The Jedi order wasn’t the only band of force users in the galaxy, but nowhere in her studies had Kotara heard of force using monks on a hidden moon. She closed her eyes, aware still of the effect the boy seemed to be radiating into her own mind.
“What power is this?” She whispered
Suddenly she was standing in a bright forest of green and gold. There was water beneath her feet, yet it was solid to her. Before her, perched on a rock, was the boy. Clad in green robes, his white skin almost glowed in the sunlight.
“Dont be afraid” the boys voice was different now, no longer accented by the broken huttese of his captivity “this is something the monks taught me. You find this place, and share its light with everyone around you. I can feel the storm in your heart. This place can quieten it. “
Kotara looked down at the boy, felt in the force the certainty of his words. This place felt different, real, yet she knew her body was still in her ship. This construct of the force existed yet it didn’t. She sat down without thinking, a stone of her own materialized beneath her. She took a meditation position and closed her eyes. Instead of blackness, stars exploded before her. She was adrift in a void surround by searing points of light. The young Zabrack was still feet from her, drifting in the void.
“We are the universe experiencing itself. Through the force, we are shown it’s will."
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 2 years ago
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[ wip. ] iconography
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 2 years ago
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"Like clockwork, whenever the fighting ended the Mandalorian Pathfinders would talk, silent conversations in those helmets. Seemed like everything was a lesson"
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 2 years ago
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Are you even still out there? I hope you are
Let me tel yall a story. But before we start, know that i was a lonely child. No brothers or sisters, failed 2 grades so friend groups dissolved quickly, and i had reached a very low, very very lonely place as a kid. Then one day my dad brought home a friend. She had all these same interests as i did, she could draw cool dbz characters and i immediately copied her art style. It still informs my own to this day. She told me stories she made up. The word "fanfic" had never crossed my eyes before, but thats what it was. Fanfic that blended ff7 and star wars of all things. Fantastic stories of a young jedi fighting sepiroth, and a mysterious portal she called "the black flame" this friend stayed with me, though i never saw her face.
Maybe you're confused right now? My dad brought home a binder he'd found left in an old mobile home his job had gotten. It was left behind and found its way to me, and the ink from her words and drawings left an indelible print on my soul. But age and time are a clever thieving duo, and i have forgotten her name. I have forgotten most things from that era of my life, but I remember her works. I remember her fanfic notebook left behind in an old modile home in Mississippi. At night i lay awake and wonder if you're even still alive? Are you an author now? Or some quiet professional with her head down at a desk? Are you an activist fighting in the streets? I know you existed. You lived once, my friend, and i wish, oh how i wish i could remember your name.
Maybe then
It would be easier to find you and say
Thank you. The little piece of your soul left in your fanfic/art binder met mine. It was a friend when i had none. Yours was one of the many hands that shaped Me. If you're still alive, i hope its a good life.
Maybe youll read these words, a return message in a bottle from a stranger in the void. Maybe youll look at this and some memory will stir. Or maybe you wont. Either way, the line is cast...
Are you even still out there? I hope you are...
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 2 years ago
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youtuber showing off his new redstone megabuild pistons and slime blocks and repeater lines running up and down and all around and he hasnt explained AT ALL what it does but when he powers it on your room starts shaking and the lights start flickering and he looks directly into his crap webcam with jet black eyes and just says ‘it is done.’ and the video abruptly ends and when you check twitter to see if any of his fans have had the same experience your feed is filled with the news that the pope just turned into a dirt block live on television
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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They’re a forest fire, and I’m a dragon, and I will dance in their flames
how to love a girl in the shape of a forest fire
a poem by parrish h.
ONE. when she tells you she is a forest fire, or a clenched fist, or a bloody knife, do not correct her. when she tells you she is damaged goods, do not try to change her mind. instead, tell her you will love her anyway. she does not need fixing. she does not even need saving. she just needs someone to look at the wreckage and see something worth making a home in.
TWO. listen to the songs she tells you about. even the silly ones. even the ones she only mentions in passing. buy her the books you notice on her to be read list. to love anybody, you have to know them. to love a forest fire, you have to want to.
THREE. remember, you carry a piece of your childhood home everywhere you go. your crooked smiles reflect the off-center picture frames on your wall. the smell of coffee every day keeps you as warm and inviting as your kitchen. but she lived in a house always on fire, and a part of her will always carry the burning. remember to carry extra bandages with you. you cannot love a forest fire girl and come out unscathed.
FOUR. this is the hard part: she is going to hurt you. this is the harder part: you are going to hurt her too. there will be times you can't erase the image of her flinching at the sound of your raised voice out of your head. there will be days you won't forgive yourself for it. but let me tell you a secret: none of us who love leave this life without the scars to prove we loved. none of us come out unscathed.
FIVE. you are not the hero in this story. neither is she. truth is, you're both just trying your best. we are all just trying to be holy. you are not the hero in this story. do not congratulate yourself for loving a forest fire. do not call yourself savior. call yourself lover, and you might get to be both.
SIX. and a reminder, to the forest fires reading this: you are worth more than you know. you do not have to be beautiful. you do not have to be good. you only have to sit in the quiet of the night, look up at the stars, and promise to love the people in your life a little better tomorrow. even yourself. especially yourself.
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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Rebuilding the Commonwealth one settlement at a time
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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to walk in the sun
Image description under the cut
Keep reading
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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Y’all seem to like my fleet pics
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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In between meetings and adjusting the local prices of cobalt, I like to sit and watch the ships come and go from the station.
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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Love getting fleet shots
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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New ship. With the fuel prices going up lately, had to switch to a more efficient interstellar ship!
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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On a scale of Din Djarin to Richard B Riddick, how well do you handle accidentally becoming king of a planet of warriors?
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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Doctor: $140,000 a year
Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year
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lostandlefttowander-blog · 3 years ago
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on soulmates. the song of achilles, madeline miller // the chaos of stars, kiersten white // nfwmb, hozier // wuthering heights, emily brontë // judy garland //  the alchemist, paul coelho // unending love, rabindranath tagore // invisible string, taylor swift // maya angelou // prometheus unbound, percy shelley
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