loonymadhatter79-blog

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Is this the price I pay for sanity?

Losing everything that makes me who I am? Every bit of struggle I’ve overcome becomes useless, meaningless. Full of faults and cracks, pieces missing. Pieces I can’t reclaim through the wonders of modern science.

Who am I? What has my existence become, if for nothing else but to go through the motions with emotions?

Feelings -- fluid and transparent, like water, like glass.

But there’s nothing left but empty sadness.

Pieces of purity, lost, unclaimed

But when I try to hold them, they just pass through my fingers.

Can I sift through these pieces of thought? Through these broken shards of memory?

Is my life just one quilt block after another -- parts just stitched together to make something tangible?

But is being real...really worth it?

Is there nothing left of me but a forgotten waif -- lost, or listless?

Is she still in there somewhere?

Or was she too, consumed, by utter madness?

Who am I?

c. loonymadhatter79/ michael drake 2018

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

IF YOU ARE A WITCH REBLOG THIS POST

I’m trying to make a sort of “yellowpages of witches. To be in it, please reblog this, and put in the tags your religion. Hopefully, I’ll make a large directory so that we can find each other :) 

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

BEKKATHYST WINTER 2018 GIVEAWAY

~This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Tumblr.~

Please read thoroughly before entering!

Hello lovely Tumblr folk! It’s that time again- I have a giveaway for you all. Last year ended great, so I thought we should start this year great! So I’m giving you the chance to win this large collection of items.

All these items came from my shop.

What you get:

$50 credit that can be applied to anything in my shop.

amethyst & calcite cluster 

labradorite palm stone

tumbled quartz 

fluorite bunny

rainbow moonstone necklace (handmade by me!) 

other tumbled stones

selenite wand

quartz wand 

obsidian sphere 

lapis lazuli sphere

labradorite heart 

selenite tower 

tiger’s eye cow carving 

giant druzy heart

amethyst hedgehog 

rainbow moonstone nuggets

chunks of labradorite 

This has a retail value of $215 in addition to the $50 shop credit!

Rules:

You must be 16 or older. (If under 18 you MUST have parent’s permission)

You don’t have to live in the US to join!

You must be following me, so you can get updates if anything about the giveaway changes.

Please check out my shop and if you’re interested, you can sign up for my email newsletter here. (Totally not necessary or required, it’s just an option!)

DO NOT tag this post as giveaway. That will risk the notes getting messed up, and this will be ruined for everyone.

Reblog this post to enter. Likes count, too. No giveaway or spam blogs. If you reblog on a side blog, let me know in the tags what the name of your blog is that you’re following me with.

Please don’t spam people with reblogs- limit 2 reblogs per day. Last time I had angry people messaging me because people were spamming it a bunch :s 

Each entry will be assigned a number and the winner will be chosen by a random number generator.

The giveaway ends Wednesday, February 28th at 6 pm Pacific time.

The winner will be messaged and must respond with their full name and address within 24 hours, or a new winner will be chosen.

Please respect me and my rules, and have fun!

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

there is a certain level of nihilism in witchcraft that i wish i could impart to every witch, which is that nothing at all matters, it doesnt matter if you don’t have all the exact spell ingredients, nothing in the grand scheme of anything matters so do whatever the fuck you like. you are the head of your personal beliefs, you need to take your own agency, you don’t need to ask some other witch’s permission to swap out ingredients or do something a little differently

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Therapists aren’t people who you “pay to pretend to care about you”, therapists are people you pay to teach you how to care for yourself

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

just a quick reminder

selfishness is putting the wants of yourself over the needs of others. 

self respect is putting the needs of yourself over the wants of others.

one is disregarding others, one is taking care of yourself. 

the difference between the two is the difference between being a friend and a doormat. 

taking care of yourself does not make you a bad person

i repeat:

taking care of yourself does NOT make you a bad person

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

I would like to invite you all to embrace the ancestors you never knew. 

As members of the queer community, we are in a unique space in that our marginalization is not always shared with our biological family. So we are often left with a feeling of separation to our community and our history, and I want to take a moment to encourage you all to try and bridge that gap within your minds. Think of the queer people who came before us as your family, because so many of them lived their lives so that yours could exist in the way it does.

Think of Oscar Wilde standing in court admitting his love and rejecting the idea that is was shameful in front of his peers. Think of Magnus Hirschfeld collecting data and research so that he could find a path to freedom paved with facts. Think of Marsha P. Johnson, giving out cookies to other sex workers and transgender people on the street and her rage as she threw that shot glass and ignited a revolution. 

These people are your family, they are your history, and they built a world so that you could live in it. You may not be related by blood but you are related by history, their lives are irreversibly connected to ours and I encourage you all to take time to hold that in your minds as you move forward today.

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Fucking YIKES!!!

okay, this is SO DISGUSTING, if you’re a makeup lover or a person that shop at ULTA, PLEASE READ THIS because you could be buying USED products.

she also said this: “for the girls saying it might just be my store, I can’t speak for every store but that’s why I posted screenshots of other girls sharing their experience as well. girls I don’t even know , it completely different states have told me their stores are doing the same!”

there’s many other people dming and quoting her on twitter saying the same if you want to check out her page for more information!

ALWAYS CHECK YOUR MAKE UP BEFORE PURCHASING!

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Tbh, when I get my hysto, I'll gladly donate it to a trans woman if they don't mind one that's slightly used. :)

I've had a kid, so I know it's fully functional. And when I'm ready to part with it, it should totally go to someone else who can use it.

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Being trans is not a new, trendy thing. Trans people have always existed.

Dr Alan L Hart was born in Kansas in 1890. He was assigned female at birth, but started presenting and living his life as a boy at a young age. In 1917/1918 he was the first trans man to go through GCS in America. After the procedure, he changed his legal name. Shortly thereafter he married his first wife, Inez Hart. They separated and divorced a few years later and in 1925 Alan married his second wife, Edna Ruddick, to whom he was married until his death. After the second world war, synthetic testosterone became available and Alan started HRT. Alan dedicated his life to helping people. He was a medical doctor and radiologist and he put much time into researching tuberculosis and collecting money for people who could not afford treatment themselves. He died of heart failure in 1962. His body was cremated and spread over Puget Sound.

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Oh fucking hell why is my activity feed full of terfs 

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Galaxy binders: Cosmos, Inner Senshi, and Cosmic Rei!

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

Witches Night Routine

Ideas for a cozy and witchy night routine! Perfect for a secretive witch🌙

Tidy up your room and cleanse it, this creates a peaceful atmosphere

Cleanse your altar

Write in your grimoire or book of shadows

Write down your schedule for tomorrow, putting a good luck sigil beside it. Charge under the moon

Research something that you’ve been meaning to learn lately. Even if you don’t practice a certain area of magick, it’s always helpful to learn more

Make a mug of chamomile tea to ease your mind

Do a tea leaf reading for yourself if you need a few answers or a glimpse into your life (tasseography is the proper term)

Bake some moon cookies

Have a shower or bath to cleanse yourself or even some bath magick

Light some candles or incense and read/write/paint to ease anxiety

Draw or write an offering to a deity

Watch a movie with your spirit companions

Play or pet your familiars

Leave your tarot cards, crystals and anything else to charge under the moon

Leave a glass of water to charge under the moon, and drink it in the morning

Choose an outfit for tomorrow and charm it

Light a pink candle and send good energies to your loved ones

Light a white candle and use your intentions and energy to help your loved ones have a good sleep

Don’t forget to eat and take care of yourself ❤️

** I always accept spell requests **

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

hey so my name is jake!! i’m a blasian trans gay dude and a while back i was diagnosed with hashimoto’s thyroiditis (an autoimmune disease that makes my body attack my thyroid for presumably no reason). so on december 15th, i had the surgery to get rid of my left thyroid lobe. during surgery, they found that my left lobe had 3-5 cancerous tumors and they removed my whole thyroid instead of just half. (the pics above are all the proof i have atm due to the fact that we haven’t gotten the paperwork back from the hospital)

so, long story short i still have cancer in my system, which is why i need to go through radiation therapy for it. due to the fact that my medicine (levothyroxine) can promote cancerous cells to spread & duplicate faster whencombined with the radiation therapy (don’t ask me how i don’t know) my surgeon told me that i should stay off of my medication so that my cancer doesn’t spread to my lymph nodes… and the lymph node cancer 5-year survival rate is only about 25%… which is really fucking scary

but the thing is: i can only survive 21 days without a thyroid and the horomones the thyroid gives, and my surgery happened 5 days ago.

i really cannot afford therapy, we can barely afford food rn. the surgery & numerous doctors visits that got me here took $13k+ from us, and radiation therapy will take at least another thousand from us and we really can’t do that. so unless i raise at least another 2k in the next few weeks, i’ll either die or be forced to deal with more cancer in my system which will inevitably kill me.

tl;dr: i have 16 days to raise $2k+ for post-cancer radiation therapy or i might actually die.

paypal: https://www.paypal.me/T4ROT

cashapp: $jibbletz

thank you for reading & stay safe everybody!

[loonymadhatter79-blog]

It's painful coming to this realization that I have no place to actually belong.

No home.

No community.

I don't really matter anywhere.

I don't belong to any history, any ancestry (which may be why I'm so desperate to find some).

I'm simply.. Incongruent? Is that the word?

I'm almost ethereal, I feel, because I exist one minute and then it's as if my very being is shifted into something else.

I am not my voice. My words. My ideals. I only exist to be a threat. A divide. A target.

I don't exist to simply be. I never have.

Some days, I hate who I am. I wish some days, that I could be nothing. Sometimes, I feel like I am. Like I'm simply flesh and bones with nothing inside.

I'm not bright and beautiful. Talented. Full of strength and pride.

I'm just.. This mess that eventually, everyone will be mad at.

All I want is to be real. For a voice to fill my lungs, and for that breath to be heard. For my words to be tangible. For my thoughts to be as strong and recalled as memories past.

But I know that will never happen.

I find my strength in the oppression of the world, for I have a cause to defend. So I can become a shield for those who need it. A voice for the silent.

But I know that, eventually, there won't be anything behind it. Nothing but a useless, tired husk, with my voice cracked and hoarse, my eyes blind, my ears deaf and my skin so raw and cold that I can't bear to be touched, even though I crave to be held.

This is my future. Raw, maybe fickle. But maybe, for someone, it will mean something. I'm not meant to have a name. I'm meant to give my power for those who need it, and use it before it's gone.

[loonymadhatter79-blog]