lilcrespin - Tumblr blog

[lilcrespin]

Oh Hello beautiful lady,

oh how many short months we’ve spent together,

Butterflies or moths,

I really hope in this time,

the past and future.

Our love stays true

With every rhyme that describes our desire,

We will have true harmony,

A lovely feeling that keeps us alive,

I don’t have any regrets putting in my regards,

I Ricardo am grateful to have meet you - : Butterflies and Moths; A poem dedicated for Zofia my beloved girlfriend

[lilcrespin]

Don’t tease my emotions more than they are, I asked god, I begged god until he heard me, I knew he did because I started crying, I asked god to give me strength. I wrote a letter about the things I learned. I never sleep alone I sleep with family. So I’m going to bed but I pray when I wake I’m stronger than ever before because these emotions of mine, hurt me. Saddens me so much that the trauma makes me feel alone. Very alone

[lilcrespin]

“Don’t find yourself in what was wrong, find yourself where you first started. I came with a great attitude to do something great. I didn’t leave with a bad attitude doing something bad. “ - jimi 6

[lilcrespin]

Wind for the fallen, tears that flicker, shade or brightness in the time being. 2 heads

[lilcrespin]

“Sometimes in life, life is just too hard. I’m starting to let go, maybe next time I’ll be better.” - ricardo

[lilcrespin]

Love #'s 6

I actually fell in love, honestly! being honest and to make sure you are my special one. My unicorn! what is a unicorn! define it, its a Horse with wings! its what feelings crave for!! I CRAVE YOU AND ONLY YOU. I respect you and would love to treat you.

[lilcrespin]

Sadness

This is saddest part, I keep going, going as far as I can go, knowing that each tear I held back will straighten me out, pushing away the trauma, Pushing away the insecurities, Going for the part where I hear something from you, like how I always nearly blow or constantly check on you.

[lilcrespin]

Love

“ I want to ascend into your love, you take me by the ambience” - lil crespin aka cardo

[lilcrespin]

I wouldn’t call myself that part 2 -

I wouldn’t consider myself a fighter even after fighting for my own life and place. It’ll just be harder to look at my own face, to go at my own pace. These “REVELATIONS” It’s crazy to even believe it or to even mentioned it. I just witnessed it. I truly witnessed it all. In my life time. Short and sweet to some, brutal and cruel to some, fun and amazing to some. It’s all up in the air sometimes, but to me, who witnessed it firsthand. I kinda do have a reason to always be upset and happy. I also have a reason to not feel alone or unfortunate of my situation. Jesus Christ himself died on a cross signifying his own beliefs and teachings. So take this not with a grain of salt or taking it as me and I comparing myself to such an amazing extraordinary man. Instead a strong follower of FAITH and HOPE. That with the help and power of words. Can lead you far and wide. Call me whatever you want just not that . Whatever it is please just not that, I beg of you so much on my own knees I pray. Praying for the day that you see how hopeful and careful I am. Maybe I was just placed here to be a saint. To really express the feeling of wings, freedom, emotions, tears, reasons of reassurance. Everything that makes your life better. Every thing that makes every moment in my life special everything in your life special. I write and leave this hear for someone to read. HOPE EXIST AND IVE WITNESSED IT FIRSTHAND thank you for getting this far. More to come stay tuned.

[lilcrespin]

I wouldn’t call myself that -

In this time of frame, I believe in a way we are own nihilistic person. So many lost causes and a few spaces to let something in. I don’t know if anyone reading this will be able to understand what I’m writing about but I’ll try my best to explain it. There’s a society and it’s counted or tagged as a group or representation of a word. Nihilism, empathy, empowerment, or freedom. Seeking different differences in life. How a mother seeks adulthood in there child, how teachers seeks education in purposes, how even a teenager seeks retribution and a foot in the door. I’ve spent most of my time in the background, building my own personal foundation, it’s a cluster fuck of feelings. Regrets with one, trauma in the other and numb to feeling okay because I simply wouldn’t understand what it means to be okay. I would say take life head on because I haven’t felt like I’ve had before, an other person would say don’t, take it easy and let things fall into place because they haven’t had it like that before. Anyways knowing that there is a timeline and a day where I’ll go away forever, I want to leave one thing behind. Literature, thoughts and thoughts, piled on top of each other for days and poems and songs that reminisce on life. Life for what it was for me and the ones close to me. I’ve cried, nearly a million times, these tears signify sadness, loneliness, a never ending burden. I just hope when I do reach the age I’m able to pass it on. A book, a tale or even a copy of a song. In this time frame, I believe we are own nihilistic person and a different kind of person, more human than we know. A kind of human that makes tears not so sad. A kind of human that can make writing this not so bad or embarrassing. A kind of human that let’s it all be, a kind of human that sees things as a bigger picture. I’m sorry for being an odd ball, but I would never be sorry for expressing myself. It can be wrong, it can be hard to understand, it can even be just fall out dumb. I’m just so human I’m numb to think twice about a mistake, an effort or any kind of accident. I’ve dealt a hand of cards that was no luck Death in , having my own scared I realized one thing before my eyes turned closed. I never really got to share this human side of me, this life of mine. The songs and endless amount of literature, from praise to poetry, an autobiography of a good friend. An autobiography of a young kid who said fuck anything or anyone in the way I’ll do what I exactly want to do even if it means killing me. Words so powerful aren’t they, I’m in it for the long ride or a short ride if it means giving up because I won’t. If you’re here right now just know that I’m not okay. I’m in pain with a bleeding smile. Walking these miles don’t seem dumb anymore. I’m not a nihilist, I’m not a forgiven, I’m a subject of something that’s bigger than me. So I wouldn’t call myself that, I’d call myself a writer even an influencer, influencing a new audience that won’t make the same mistakes that cost me and my friends, or family. Kindness is only shared when happiness is the outcome these days. I’m only pictured as a bad guy when I stand up to the temptation. I’m here to say I am a person that stood up to it all, tribulation, passages, time in hell, where the hounds yell into the night. The other end of a barrel. If you ever read the finale pages of the Bible, you’ll stumble upon “The revelations” or “ REVELATIONS” talks about a good man leaving a women behind for another and it sparked the end of the world, day by day hell came upon them. Changing the world day by day, hell finding its way onto the planet. The good man didn’t even bother to feel regret but just took it on, head strong, not giving up. Four horsemen, angels and demons, satan slaughtering, Catastrophes one after another. You can say I’ve experienced it. Four people, starving one period of time, sick for another and depressed and deprived in another. Satan taking advantage of my kindness taking me closer to hell than ever before. I might just be stuck in my own head, an imaginary nightmare

F

[lilcrespin]

[lilcrespin]

Nirvana

Nirvana is one of my favorite bands of all time, definitely top 2, I’ve yet to see or hear another band that could replace nirvana spot as my #1 the country raspy vocals and hard hitting guitar riffs, hopefully it’ll all circle back around. Long live to a legend Kurt cobain, I’ll remember to make sure to rock on as hard if not harder than ever before

[lilcrespin]

A face behind the author

[lilcrespin]

REDEMPTION -

Don’t worry about me, like I’m your punisher ,

Don’t worry about me, like I’m your enemy,

Don’t worry about me, like I’m 2 steps away,

From it all, like dead leaves,

In the fall, where it was so cold,

I stood on my own luck, trying to bury my past,

It was bold, it was miserable, I could hardly stand it,

Biting on my own lips, this cold front,

Would never be the end of me,

Don’t worry about me.

[lilcrespin]

How I feel about you

I wish I was big and famous, so that you can see me in your wildest dreams, Im just working on that, so you yell about me in your room, im a lover working on getting paid in full, im sick and tired of this never ending sad lullaby, Saving up for the ring, saving up every single effort of mine, no im not a pretender, im learning so much, I guess its just me that you want, its just me that you want, how I feel about you is how no other would feel about you, how I feel about you taking this time to do better, a thousand miles, a thousands pardons, sucking each single vein, a thousands efforts just to prove my worth, hanging onto to each of my efforts, just for a second longer to remove that pain that you and I share, that never ending bottomless pit, ill go for the longest now,

[lilcrespin]

Just one more side block to count

This takes time, the kind of time that just hurts, the kind of time that goes by real fast, the kind of time that you see only goes by when you have done everything you'll feel happy about, the kind of time that has someone bootlegging you for another dollar, one more side block to count this time, counting the steps into my future, finding out, counting on me, finding out just who the hell I am, full circle, full circle maybe I just don't mind working, maybe its just something to say while the time is haste

[lilcrespin]

" The way I walk is just the way I walk, The way I talk is just the way I talk...."