lifelinelemon

[lifelinelemon]

Merry Christmas everyone 🎄

[lifelinelemon]

So what I have gathered from this is that sharks are seemingly rougher than lions as I imagine lions fur is pretty smooth. And therefore... sharks are in-fact rough lions not smooth lions.

[lifelinelemon]

Made my monstera plant pretend to be a Christmas tree for my Christmas presents to my family

[lifelinelemon]

too many thoughts

[lifelinelemon]

At what point do we tell someone we previously told we were okay that we are in fact not okay?

[lifelinelemon]

I'm ashamed of myself for spelling traumatised the American way in my hashtags

Note to self: never get in the car with a stupid boy with a license again

[lifelinelemon]

I'm sad stressed and anxious 🙃

[lifelinelemon]

Note to self: never get in the car with a stupid boy with a license again

[lifelinelemon]

Anyone else's mental health decline severely when you have a week off work but don't have any plans to keep you busy that week? No? Just me? Okay :)

[lifelinelemon]

Anyone else not recognise their own name as their name if it's taken even slightly out of the context of being YOU. Like I know my name and I'll answer to my name obviously but other than that it could be anyone's name it's not mine it's just a word. Like I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan but I listened one of her newer songs multiple times before I realised she says my name in it then I see other people immediately realising. Like what's wrong with me? Does anyone else feel like this? My name is basically just a word I answer to and that's it.

Part of my theory on this is that I've grown up knowing so many other people who share my name that subconsciously I think about them instead of myself and associate my name with how they act and the type of people they are not who I am. Which kinda sucks because it makes me not feel like I suit my name because I feel like someone else already owns it and has made it theirs.

[lifelinelemon]

I take the part about Minecraft back, I just went for a nice swim in lava with all my most valuable stuff on. So don't you dare ask me how I'm doing I might just cry lol

In an attempt to not let this feed be full of sad posts when I look back at it, I give the highlights of my week:

- I got a dress I've been trying to buy for agesss that's always sold out in my size so now I'm happy because I have a nice outfit for my works Christmas party

- I finished booking my next trip to visit my friend in February which I can't wait for!!

- I finallyyyy feel like I'm getting better at Minecraft like I'm actually able to figure stuff out with like VERY basic redstone annnnd I'm not dying constantlyyyy anymore

- my Apple Music wrapped was DOMINATED by Taylor Swift which is just nice to see, can't have anyone thinking I'm anything but a swiftie 😂

[lifelinelemon]

This lemon is the nicest and lemoniest lemon I've ever seen

And the fan art is just adorable

fanart of my lemon

[lifelinelemon]

In an attempt to not let this feed be full of sad posts when I look back at it, I give the highlights of my week:

- I got a dress I've been trying to buy for agesss that's always sold out in my size so now I'm happy because I have a nice outfit for my works Christmas party

- I finished booking my next trip to visit my friend in February which I can't wait for!!

- I finallyyyy feel like I'm getting better at Minecraft like I'm actually able to figure stuff out with like VERY basic redstone annnnd I'm not dying constantlyyyy anymore

- my Apple Music wrapped was DOMINATED by Taylor Swift which is just nice to see, can't have anyone thinking I'm anything but a swiftie 😂

[lifelinelemon]

Desperately trying to fit into any community but feeling like you're not as good at or as invested in the activities that said communities take part in. Or feeling like you're not interesting enough or not fun enough or not enjoyable enough to be around, really sucks. I feel like I don't quite fit in with any of the groups of people I want to fit in with. Constantly the second choice or the outcast that people forget about. Or I feel easily replaced. Feel like I'm not unique enough or that I'm not how I used to be so I can be replaced with someone that ticks all the same boxes I do but has some little extra bonus that makes them more important or relevant than me.

I tell myself this is all a lie and I shouldn't think so negatively. But when it's constantly backed up by the way people around me act I can't help but believe it's all true and that I am just second best to everyone and a good back up plan but not anyone's priority.

I try to put people first and make them a priority to me in hopes that it will be reciprocated but in reality I just end up feeling like I'm a burden to them and that I've forced myself upon them.

And don't even get me started on trying to make new friends. I gave up on that a long time ago.

[lifelinelemon]

'Life is as boring as you make it'

I randomly said this to my dad because he was complaining life was dull recently.

I have no idea if it's an actual quote someone's said but it really hit my hard the more I thought about what I said. I'm now striving to make a conscious effort to do something I enjoy everyday but not just like playing Minecraft. Something that actually gets me out the house or connects with me people or even just something as simple as planning something I can look forward to in the future. It's really helped me change my outlook on my life. I'm in control of what I do and I have the freedom to do literally anything I want at any moment so why shouldn't I? The only issue I'm running into is in my brain the way to have fun is to spend money usually by going shopping but obviously that's not a sustainable way to live so if anyone has any affordable or free activities/ideas for things I can do let me know!

[lifelinelemon]

Going back to work after a week off is the most stressful and anxiety inducing experience. I hate it so much. Hopefully day 2 goes better. Wish me luck 😭

[lifelinelemon]

Anyone else relate to wanting a hobby so bad but having such a short attention span that you end up starting a million hobbies then giving up in less than a month (at most!) and wasting a ton of money.

Or is that just me? 🙃