leiahwrites

[leiahwrites]

it’s their thing

[leiahwrites]

Ironic, I hate you but want your warm arms around me like before. Crazy how much I despise you, but how much I still want you. Hypocritical of me to always hate alcohol, but now loving it more than ever. Drink one... Drink two… Three.. I lost count. I drink till I can’t feel that constant reminder of the pain in my heart. It’s insane you are a monster, but I wish you appeared under my bed. I wish you laid next to me and told how much you love me no matter how broken I am. The tears linger on my face. You broke me like a little boy breaks his toy. Then you threw me away and never bothered to look back to see how I was doing. @leiahwrites

[leiahwrites]

How do you feel dead inside and so alive on the outside? Is it the clear skies or knowing that you would lose your sanity if you showed it? Is it the pain that keeps building up inside your body that you are so afraid of letting it take control over you? Does it hurt putting a mask on everyday or are you becoming used to the feel of it? Did you feel anything when he thrusted himself in between your legs or did you wish it was him? How does hiding the hurt in your heart help you? Why did it not feel good to kiss another boy? Why do you wish you were still in his car singing love songs to each other after he broke your heart? It’s sick.

@leiahwrites

[leiahwrites]

being in someone’s arm like this feels like the safest place in the world

Betty sighed and snuggled deeper into Jughead’s chest, her troubled heart easing somewhat significantly when his arms tightened around her just a little bit more in response.

She always slept better with him around, almost like he was a shield. One that held back all the nightmares in her head just waiting to swamp her, a feat only he could manage these days.

“You’re safe, baby.” She heard him murmur into the still and quiet darkness that surrounded them. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here, no matter what.”

She could remember a time when he’d made that same promise to her. The first time he held her like this in her pastel pink room after making his way across town in the dead of night from the Southside, scaling the ladder up to her window and climbing into her bed after she’d texted him because of a particularly bad nightmare she’d just had. Much like tonight.

Like now, he’d whispered those exact words to her and like now as well, she believed him with every fiber of her heart and soul. She was safe. From her dad. Her mom. From their old home town and all the heartache it brought them both. She was safe here, in their apartment in New York City. In his arms. In his warmth. In everything that was purely him.

She was safe here with him.

She leaned back slightly and almost as if he’d read her mind, he leaned in, his lips finding hers effortlessly. The kiss was slow. Reassuring. Unhurried, but still as deep and as passionate as others they had shared so many times before. She relished in the comfort that spread around her body. God, she loved this man. More than words could ever say.

“I know,” she said when they pulled apart, their foreheads pressed together now, “I love you … so much, Juggie.”

Even though she couldn’t see them as clearly as she normally could, Betty could make out the depths of his love for her reflected in the blue of his eyes. She could also sense how much saying those words actually meant to him, like it was his only form of oxygen.

He slipped his long fingers into her hair then, pressing them into her skull and gently bringing her in for another kiss. It was shorter this time, but still sound and everlasting to both of them in the moment it created - a single moment that allowed her to forget. To get lost.

“I love you, Betty Cooper. You’re all that matters to me, now and forever, okay?”

She nodded and smiled up at him softly, cuddling back into his side and breathing him in steadily as she closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Yes, she was safe, but more than that she was home. Tomorrow was another day. She would wake up beside him, to his kisses and that lazy grin of his. She would live her life with him.

That simple reassurance was all she would ever need for the rest of her days.