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Cold As Ice - 10.

Lost Souls

Heyyyy !

 So here it is, the final chapter.

 Hope you enjoy !

 _______________

 There are always people who feel sad, depressed in spite of themselves, even during festive days. Birthdays, weddings, random parties... People who feel like the whole world is against them, chasing happiness away.

 Souls that belong somewhere else without even knowing exactly where. Lost souls that cannot be reunited.

 Colorful clothes hiding beaten flesh, forced smiles plastered on once genuinely joyful faces, tearful eyes hidden behind a veil, and gone unnoticed in the middle of such excitement from people that do not know what they're talking about.

 Lonely souls, torn apart from the ones they cherish, care for, feel like having to protect even if that means putting their own lives in jeopardy, against all odds. Putting somebody other's needs before theirs at all costs. People that don't really understand how others can be happy while they seem to carry the world on their shoulders, a burden they cannot get rid of. While they are filled with regrets at hardly 25.

 (And another life's going straight to waste.)

 "Elsa ?"

 "You shouldn't be here." she says without bothering to look at him, her voice barely a whisper. "Your ship is departing in less than a hour."

 "I know." he pauses, sucking in a deep shaky breath. "I simply wanted to bid you farewell, Your Grace." he explains trying his best to steady his voice as he bows deeply in front of her.

 He doesn't care whether she sees him or not.

 "And I also had to thank you—"

 "What for ? she snaps, spinning around and meeting his eyes. "For sending you straight to your demise ?"

 So, she knew about it.

 "No." he swallows the lump in his throat.

 Her bright blue eyes are welling up with tears he is well aware she does not want to display, but that are here anyway.

 "Then, what for ?"

 "For allowing me a glimpse of hope before I fall back into the darkness.

 Her eyes widden.

 He does not want his voice to show any hint of sarcasm because there isn't any.

 (A life without her isn't worth living, anyway.)

 A sad smile crosses his lips as he recalls their last encounter.

 Why this sudden change of behavior ? How has he grown so close to her without being allowed anywhere near her most of the time ?

 She is the only one who has ever allowed him to hope for something better than anything his life had always been made of. The only one who doesn't back away anymore when they meet, albeit it has been a matter of seconds for the Gods to decide if she was going to live or die.

 Live or die.

 He can now call himself the happiest man on earth for having the time to bid her goodbye, since he'll most likely never see the light of day ever again. His brothers don't want to make any fuss of it all. He had always been a disgrace to his family, well, that's all he had been told for his whole childhood, so he would leave this world exactly as he had arrived in it : as a nobody.

 But she is the one who will be carrying the burden of his death on her shoulders added to her own, one she's been carrying for years. And that very thought is so excruciating.

 He stares at the dark starry sky from the barred window of his cell. The sounds of the party taing place in Arendelle to celebrate the newly wed couple are nothing more than a blur as the ship sail further and furthar away from the realm.

 It is nothing more than a mere matter of hours now.

 (And his soul will be wandering around here till the end of times.)

 What about her ? The frail woman that is now married to a man she cannot even stand and who surely is fighting against him to prevent him from doing it tonight and save the little dignity she has left. Because she's not ready yet.

 Nor will she ever be. she has said.

 They forced their Queen, a very powerful Queen, into an arranged marriage, the aftermaths will be disastrous. They don't know what they've gotten themselves into.

 Her soul will be wandering around here, too.

 Her wedding has been a very awaited event which has gathered thousands of dignitaries and peasants from the kingdom and other countries. A day awaking happiness in their souls, but not in the two of them's.

 They will dread this day for the rest of their lives.

 He won't ever forget the look deep into her eyes, minutes before walking down the aisle. It clearly reflected the fear of a lifetime wasted because of one stupid decision from the Council, and one from her to-be-husband. One that absolutely doesn't want him around, which is completely understandable. The truth is that their lives were bound to be wasted before they were even born. It was written already. Wasted, like so many others. Their souls lost in between painful memories and dark thoughts. 

 They could have shared so much more than each other's company. If the lords had allowed it, they could even have been friends. People just there to listen to each other like they had already done.

 Farewell, Your Majesty.

 "We will meet again, Hans."

 He can feel her gaze melting under his. Her expression softens.

 "In the afterlife, maybe, but I am sure we will."

 "Why ? How can you be so sure of that ?" he inquires, inching even closer.

 She smiles. It's not more than a shy smile that quickly disappears.

 "If the Gods have put you in my way again, I don't think they did it to play with our souls. We were never supposed to meet again, yet we did."

 "And here we are." he snaps, not even looking at her.

 The expression on her features is too hard to bear.

 "You know, this was going to happen, with or without you being sent back here. They want their King, so they don't even let us enough time to meet someone."

 Her eyes are grey. Like the clouds in the sky, like the thoughts in their brain, like the feelings in their hearts. To each one this day somehow means the end of their lives.

 Arendelle.

 This place he has started loving even more than himself, even more the kingdom where he was born. Now it is nothing but a light in the background. A light he cannot see anymore. It is being swallowed up by the darkness of the night without moon. Stars. Stars are all his pupils can distinguish. And the last thing he'll see.

 Their lost souls will wander around this dreaded place as long as they aren't reunited. 

 Yet they will find one another again one day, as long as it may take.

 (Because what goes better together than cold and dark ?)

 ________________________________________________

 Author's Note :

 Okay, 

 First, I want to say, I know I'm not good at endings, but stay stuned, now it is official, there will be a oneshot about what happens next, a few years or so later.

 Hope you'll wait for it :)

 Thanks to all those who read, even those who started but didn't continue, and those who will read the upcoming oneshot.

 Please, share your thoughts about this story so far, I love to hear of you, and I hope to meet you again for others stories.

 LOVE YOU ALL !!!

 Laura Of Arendelle

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cold As Ice - 9.

A Fate Worse Than Death

"What have you two been talking about ?"

He jolts upward at the sound of her melodious yet so inquisitive voice.

It has been hours he has been sleeping in the stables, laying still in the hay in Sitron's stall he has cleaned up after his ride back home with the Queen.

Her stare is cold as she is standing there in front of the stall, her hands on her hips. It can only mean she wants answers. More like demands some. And he wouldn't be the one to disobey her, albeit he does not know what he's supposed to tell her and what is to be kept a secret.

She sighs before his blatant lack of cooperation.

"He's forbidden you to come too close to me for his liking, hasn't he ?" she states blankly, clear-sighted. "He wants you to keep your distances, right ?"

He gulps. She knows her to-be-husband better than he can see through her.

"He—he did, yes." he stutters, taken aback by her sudden remarks while he stands up and exits the stall, not daring to turn his back on her, and finds himself mere inches away from her. "He is kind of... overprotective, if I may say—"

"He is possessive. That's a completely different matter." she cuts him off sharply, taking a step forward.

She is not one to be claimed like an object. He knows it far too well.

She longs for freedom. She craves for it.

The feeling of loyalty and honesty he thinks he owes her catches him off guard.

He cannot keep his promise.

"Is it true that I will be sent back to the Southern Isles after the weeding ?" he unsurely dares to ask her, studying her closely as he continues, "Because... that's what he told me, though I fear I don't understand why he wants me to attend to your wedding."

"He doesn't want to." comes the flat answer, as simple as it is.

His brows furrow until they seem to form a single line.

"Then why on earth do I have to witness it ?" he inquires, his voice higher than he ever intented to make it sound.

"I just didn't want you thrown away overnight like a piece of shit." she answers, her calmness still odd to him.

She doesn't even seem to get mad at him shouting. She did this for him. Yet he knows not whether he'd rather be thrown into a ship cell and sail back to his kingdom without anyone noticing it or have to watch Elsa getting married to someone whe does not wish to spend any more time than needed with. A man she seems to loathe more than anyone else. Even more than him.

She looks utterly exhausted, and he assumes she is. Dealing with that asshole of her to-be-husband all day to convince him not to get rid of her could-have-been-murderer  - that's what he is, isn't he ? - musn't be easy, especially with that man as her future husband, and him as her almost murderer.

He can't even say wether he is grateful for her fighting for him or not. Yet anywhere would be a better place to be than the Southern Isles.

From now on he knows he won't be living for long. But it isn't her business, she's not even aware of it the slightest. His best chance to remain alive would have been to be thrown away overnight like a piece of shit.

On the other hand, having to live a lifetime far away from this kingdom he has grown to love, to feel like it is his own place he has finally found, far away from her without ever being able to come back or see her again is a fate worse than death.

Cerulean blue sparkling eyes, flawless alabaster skin,  delicate scandinavian features, light rosy cheeks, platinum blonde locks, a slender figure, tiny frame making it hard for anyone to think about anything but her when she's standing nearby.

And that jerk will get all of this. All of her.

(Is a lifetime devoid of you worth living ?)

He hopes that Prince realizes the chance he'll be getting to lay his eyes on such a pure beauty for every remaining day of his life. To wake up beside her, the first thing he'll land his gaze upon each single morning, a gorgeous woman, powerful and regal, who won't have a choice but to stay by his side.

"So I have to see you getting married to him." he concludes, his head hung low as he fidgets with his fingers.

"You don't know what is worse, do you ? I know what it is to be torn apart between physical or psychological pain. Physical pain leaves marks on one's body, and we all know they fade away sooner or later, at least the pain subsides. However, psychological pain often lasts way longer. Scars are deeper, eating our soul bit by bit." she pauses and glances straight into his eyes. "I just couldn't bear the thought of him treating you so badly."

Confusion follows the confession.

"Why ?"

She sighs. And Hans doesn't know what to expect. He can just hope she's not suffering like he undeniably is, although he does not wish to admit it. How can he explain he has grown so much accustomed to her presence, working for her, even in such a short amount of time ? An amount of time not significant enough to justify his obvious need of remaining side by side with her, a need of redemption he craves for. Well, not supposed to be.

"He doesn't have the right to treat people down. That's not what a King is supposed to do."

Yet the word still sends his head spinning. He could have been the one with the heavy Crown on his head. But the price... It wasn't worth it. Now he can say it, having taken a step back to get a proper analysis of the situation he has found himself in months ago.

It could have been so much better for the both of them, if only he had played his cards right. Whenever in her presence, he always feels glad his initial plans thwarted. But he can't uppress a hint of disappointment over himself for not having been able to woo her instead of trying to cut her head off her shoulders.

"Do things truly have to go that way ?" comes a question his lips burned to ask but that he didn't want to blurt out though.

Yet he just did it. And he wonders why he does always have to feel this conflicted about his emotions and his feelings.

Better leaving or staying ? Talking or keeping quiet ? Saying the truth of lying ? Is it care or jealousy ? Worry or over protectiveness ? Love or hate ? Friends or ennemies ?

"It does, Hans." she says sharply. "There is no way we can change our fate now. It is way too late to fix anything."

He's not the only one who doesn't want things to end up that way albeit they do not want the same things either.

"Well, if that is all you wanted to know, I'd be glad if you excused me, Your Grace.  his voice his slow, and he bows formerly at her.

With that, he walks past her and leaves her alone in the stables, not even daring to look back at the one he would have loved to know better.

__________________________________

Author's Note :

One chapter left. I know. But I do have some ideas for some kind of one or two shots later. So, if some of you are interested, I might think of writing them.

I hope you enjoyed this anyway ;) Feel free to share your thoughts !

Love

Laura Of Arendelle.

[lauraclc2-blog]

Sequel of Thawing the Frozen Heart : Thawed Hearts. Prologue

Afterward

In a once fair kingdom, a ruler did appear,

Born with a secret power so great,

Alone, she stayed in fear.

Love will thaw.

(Did the fellow truly have a frozen heart.)

There were numerous versions of the tale of the Snow Queen, and the questions that came with it. Had she inherited her powers from a remote family member, or was she chosen by some kind of shaman or sorcerer to bear the burden of a curse that had already ruined her whole life ? Did they come from a malediction or were they given at birth, or—

What had the child done ?

Had she purposefully frozen her realm or had she unleashed her powers out of pure fear ? Was she the one who had saved her sister or had Anna saved both her sister and herself ?

There were those unanswered questions about the Queen. But who knew her story better than the fair people of Arendelle ?

There were numerous versions of the events that had troubled their lives again, just after what they referred as the Great Thaw.

Some people suspected Hans to have imagined another of his mischievous schemes aiming to steal the throne he had once failed to claim, deaf to their Queen's explanations about him not being involved further than her kidnapping. Others said she had been captured by men nobody had ever met after Hans had taken her away on that party night, and that she had endured some kind of torture in their custody. They said that it would break her even more than she already was if she was to recall what exactly they had done to her, albeit they all craved to know the truth. Some also assured that being aware there's something important you can't remember might even be worse.

Missing parts of your life out of your reach.

They had tried to question the prisoner who had almost pulled all life away from her frail body, but nothing useful had come out of his mouth yet.

(How had the Queen lost her memory ?)

He still refused to cooperate. They would have to use more drastic measures, although Elsa wasn't entirely pleased by the idea of hurting another human being - if he could still be called that -, what choice did they have left, anyway ?

The young Queen would wake up screaming everynight at different hours, and her shrieks would wake everyone in the castle up, from the servants living on the first floor to guests sleeping in their comfy rooms on the 3rd one. She would not fall back asleep. No matter how hard she would try, how Anna would comfort her, it had no effect upon her. She said she was dreaming of ghastly things that might have happened or not, she wasn't sure, and she would not stop weeping. After a few times, the strawberry blonde would end up heading at Hans' room and knock, urging him to come. He didn't dare to come out of his chambers, at first, and he was slightly confused the first few times she had called for him, but he finally got used to it. At the end, he came by himself before Elsa's door after waking, still waiting for Anna to go first, showing full respect to the two sisters' privacy. Still, he didn't fully understand why he, of all people, had been called to soothe her and attempt to bring her back into the protective arms of sleep. Not so protective, it seemed.

Kristoff often showed up, too, getting up instead of Anna, whom he would have told to try to get back to sleep because he could fetch Hans himslef and check on her sister to keep her informed, although he didn't even share her room - yet -. He knew his fiancée needed much more rest, even if it happened that she insitsted to check on Elsa herself and sneak into his room to tell him of her state as he had so sympathically offered to do for her.

This routine, barely a few weeks after, had made them all cruelly lacking of sleep.

Anna would fall asleep at unexpected places, and Kristoff would carry her back at the castle and tuck her in her bed, or wait for her to wake up. That was mainly what had shoved him to offer his help at night, so she wouldn't always be the one getting up. After all, sharing one's life also means sharing tough moments. And he was born ready for that. His feeling for her surpassed for sure his own wellbeing.

Love is putting someone else's needs before yours.

Still, as strong as he may be, he needed to rest, too. So Hans never knew whether it would be Anna of Kristoff who would come to him, since he wasn't even aware how they would decide who was getting up and who was lucky enough to enjoy their bed that night.

Elsa would attend absent-mindedly to her meetings with the Council, which got them even more worried by each time they met, always having to see their Queen so exhausted. She was barely able to discuss social, economical and political matters without ending up asking them to repeat entirely what they had just said. She also found herslef taking a nap every-so-often in the gardens or in her library, and she would wake up a few hours later, a pair of mesmerizing peridot eyes gazing down at her.

Hans would simply not show it. Hiding things away was all he had ever done. He would sneak into the Queen's library, enjoying to be surrounded by books that told their tales so silently. And what an interesting collection did the Queen have ! Those were books that would make you think of atters you would have never thought of it it wasn't for the lessons they would teach you. That's how he understood by which manner Elsa was so cultivated. He would often find himself in her company, discussing with her about one book, then another, and another, and he didn't mind it at all. (Not that it wasn't her library.) That was time that didn't go to waste. It could be useful one day. Treats, bargains, war equipment, strategy, everything that would one day be needed to run the kingdom. Things that wouldn't be less than helpful. When he didn't head to her personal library, he would sleep by Sitron's side or rest in his newly given room in the castle. It was situated in the servants' aisle at first, where he could be needed and called into the middle of the night to help the staff. But after noticing how helpful he was with the Queen's situation, they had moved him to the same floor, which had made things easier for both him, Anna, and Kristoff, eventually the Queen, too.

Knowing they already have way too much work to take care of, Kai and Gerda, or any other faithful staff member were dismissed the first time they had showed up to assist them. They had known the Queen for her whole life, since she was born if not even before, but they knew they had so many things to accomplish in one day time that it would have to be called a miracle. They didn't need another problem to take care of, even if Anna didn't doubt thy would galdly comply to help Elsa. It was no use to tire them beyond limits.

Olaf, as far as he was concerned,  barely understood what was going on around him. He used to sleep with Anna or Sven and Sitron in the stables before Elsa started having to gruesome nightmares - that's what she would tell him when she was in her state between sleeping and fully waking up - but then decided to keep her company in her room, even if he was of little comfort. Anna would soon have Kristoff by her side in her bed, anyway. But Elsa was alone at night, and all he knew was that she was suffering. They were all suffering.

Seeing his creator, his mother enduring so much pain all at once had awoken some foreign feelings deep inside his small heart of snow. He still lacked of words to describe it, to express what he needed to share with somebody else but himself.

What had happened to their happy ending ?

Not that it had ever existed for any of them. Had it only even once existed for anybody else ?

They found themselves conflicted, between strong feelings tying bonds and attracting people to one another, and the seriousness of their current irremediable situation.

Did they truly all fear happiness ?

(What does conflicted souls lead to ?)

Empty was their stare most of the time, untouched was their food, unclear were their thoughts, rational ones far away, terrifying memories always coming back to the surface. Tired spirits unable to think straight. Theirs words irrational, as were their arguments, meaningless, left unheard and unanswered.

This had caught the little snowman's eyes, who was left behing, although he couldn't make it up by himself. He still had eyes to see the obvious, to distinguish frowns, hidden tears, fake smiles replacing genuine ones, all that was blatant albeit they all attempted to make it unreal, unnoticed.

The whole situation hadn't escaped the eagle-eyed councilors either. It was to say that yes, the Queen's pain, along with all the others', was blindingly obvious. If a snowman could see through their fake expressions, they could, too. It could be so easily read on their features. They tried to figure out what had happened, asking help from the peasants and villagers, but unfortunately, none of those they had questioned had witnessed anything. They were unable to ease their Queen's tireness, nor their own.

Like the whole realm facing this crisis, they felt utterly powerless.

In addition, the guards had recently spotted some of the townspeople invastigating - more like trying to - on their own and had reported it to the exhausted Queen. Albeit it had come form a good thought, this new information had plunged her into a state of utter panic even she wasn't able to understand. She was unsure whether she wanted to learn the truth or not and didn't need people intervening into the army's enquiry. She would rather see it taken care by her personal guards than by them, whom she wasn't sure if they even fully knew what thy were talink about.

"You don't understand what I mean, you really have no clue, have you ?"

He could read the pure panic into her bright, fearful wide eyes.

"You're right." he admitted, then paused. "I don't." he walked up to her while taking a deep breath. "But I know for sure that ending up in such a panicked state won't help you the slightest."

She lowered her gaze for a few second, in a punished-child like manner.

"They could bring so much more confusion than there already is, Hans..." she explained, staring at him straight into the eyes.

Mesmerizing peridot eyes.

I can understand. his eyes silently told her, and that was when he knew why he was allowed near the Queen in dark times at night, when the sky was darker than were her thoughts in her mind.

Truth can be so painful to hear, especially when you don't know whether if has been correctly reported or not. Mistakes happen.

[lauraclc2-blog]

Fairytales (RapunzelxEugene Oneshot)

Hey !

I wanted to try to write about something else but Frozen, I'd appreciate it very much if you would share your thoughts about it, I hope you enjoyed reading !

More stuff is to come, mainly about Frozen, like the last two chapters of Cold As Ice, and the Prologue of Thawed Herts, the sequel of Thawing The Frozen Heart, for those who read.

I'll try to write more about other Disneys if it is worth it, I mean, I hope this wasn't too shitty.

Love you !

Laura Of Arendelle

It had been hours she had been staring at her reflection in the full-length mirror, standing still in front of it, frozen. Her expression blank, her gaze devoid of any kind of readable emotion a living human being usually posseses, she remained there, motionless, no sign of life emanating from her body.

(There was still something bothering her deep inside that she tried to hide away from others.)

They wouldn't understand, anyway.

Lies.

She couldn't count all the time she had attempted to convince herself she couldn't be happier with him, that her marriage was perfectly fine, and that her couple wasn't going straight into a wall.

Can you believe words spoken by somebody who doesn't even believe what he says himself ?

By the time she - at last - decided to move and to prove to whoever was staring at her from above that she was indeed still alive, the glowing sun was long gone, the silver moon up in the deep sky to replace it, with the stars shining all around and keeping watchful eyes upon the peaceful realm of Corona.

And Eugene hadn't come back yet.

What had she thought ? Had she truly been dumb enough to believe things would change that easily ? Had she really believed she would finally get her happy ending, that she would finally live happily ever after ? Things aren't that simple. Oh, if only they were...

Foolishness.

It only occurs in fairytales you read to your children in a futile attempt to make life appear blissful to their eyes, to allow them to think for the short time that childhood represents that life isn't this bad. Fairytales people tend to forget that last hardly two or three hundreds pages when they dream of having their lives looking like their favorite characters'. Fairytales you use to make younger people believe the words you don't believe in anymore, because, honestly, that's the least you can do for them. Words they end up not believing in either anyway.

Still they'll most likely be doing the exact same thing to their own children when the time comes. They'll be sending dreams to people before life gets the chance to rip it away from you and let you crawling in its proven cruelty.

And, as much as she wished it would, a ring around her finger couldn't erase the past to let her move forward to her happy ending. Joyful or painful as it may be, the past always remains.

Eighteen years had been wasted without she even noticed it, without anyone to notice it.

(And Eugene hadn't come back yet.)

All she had learned from her reflection that - like any other day she stared at herself like this - was that it displayed a woman - no longer a young girl - who looked utterly exhausted from the sleepless nights she and her husband had desperately spent awake trying to conceive a baby.

The baby Eugene thought that could save them.

The baby Rapunzel knew who just couldn't.

Because how could a newborn baby reconcile two uset souls like theirs ? How could an innocent human being repair the broken links between two grown-up individuals who once loved each other ?

(Had there even been true love here ?)

Her brownish hair did not shine in the sunlight, nor did it glow under the moonlight, it dod not fly along with the wind, it didn't grow a centimeter, and it did not own anymore power. It looked perfectly ordinary, and lifeless, just like she did.

Magic always comes with a price.

(Doesn't it ?)

Who knew, who could guess their beloved Princess felt ever-so-lonely in her castle albeit she had spent most of her time for the past months surrounded by her people, children who longed to speak to her, parents come for her to bless their newborn—

babies (that would never be hers),—

old people wanting for her powers to help them...

And those bastards, from the Council, who thought judging him was a wise solution...

Seriously, Your Highness, a thief ? A thief who stole the crown ? I mean, if he's to become King...

(A thief that had change for the better under the spell of love... wait, was it even supposed to be a problem ?)

Love knows no limit, she had replied. It can unite two people with different ages - after all it's just a number - interests, gender, social and geographic origins, and it doesn't seem to care slightest bit whether it's legal or not, pleasant or not. It is blind.

And Eugene (her true love ?) hadn't come back, yet.

He could be enlaced into another girl's arms, or lying almost dead in the corner of one dark back alley in town for all she knew. He always was so unpredictable.

Please forgive my forwardness, Your Grace, but people do not change. At best they show us their true colors, but their old habits always catch up to them and end up getting the best of them. And guess who gets hurt and disappointed in the end ? Keep in mind that a change for the better as you say, does never last forever.

(Had they ever given anyone a second chance ?)

Always and never are words you shall always remember never to use, Sir.

And they lived happily ever after, she mimicked in her mind. Such bullshit it was ! She had kept on believing in it at any cost for years, often awaking her "mother"'s wrath for being so childish. She couldn't even regret having a fervent belief in this famous ideal, because if it wasn't for it, she wouldn't even still be there to begin with. Who knew what kind of dark demons hid inside a young, naive, gullible and semingly light-hearted teenager ?

Sweetheart, you don't have a clue about what's truly giving you so much value do you ?

(What would she have been without her golden long blond hair ? A Princess living happily in her casle with her true family...)

She couldn't tell her "mother" how life seemed to be dark and not worth living at night !

And her real mother, the Queen, who thought she could replace the one whom she had lived with for eighteen years and who had raised although she was also the one who had built her whole life on a pile of lies that would obviously end up shattering, the one who had taken her away from her parents and the happy little life she would've lived, the one who had drained all life from her body little by little without having a single clue of it.

The one who had always been there had vanished into thin air and would never come back ! And her mother, The Queen, was so naive to believe she could really so easily forget it all and restart. At last she knew where she got that from.

She could not deny the happiness of being reunited with her family, the satisfaction of living with so many people around, so many children to read fairytales to until it was time to head back at the castle.

Fairytales.

But she found herself alone again, on her balcony, contemplating the deep night, her grip on the railing so tight that her knuckles eventually turned livid.

Eugene hasn't come back yet.

God only knew what he was doing right then, and oh how she didn't even want to know about it ! She had been used to it long before. Him promising her he would be back before diner, and ending up coming back home the following morning in the early hours, pretexting he had had some extra work and had to sleep there.

By then, Eugene should have come back, already.

Bring back what once was mine.

But who could have known things would have ended up that way ? She should have been far more clear-sighted. She should have know better.

(But "mother" had always known best...)

Fairytales.

Do you even still love me ? she had asked him once, fearing the answer though she already knew what it would be before his lips had even only parted to utter a word.

Why wouldn't I, Blondie ? but she knew what he thought deep inside, and it was the exact contrary.

Stop calling me that. We're no more lovestruck teenagers.

(Don't you know it's rude to answer one's queston by another question ?)

Fairytales, fairytales, fairytales...

They had married far too soon. His proposal was based on a few words spoken by young people with no love experience, who were firmly convinced the feeling was deep and mutual. She could only curse herself for having accepted. She should have thought of her own wellbeing before his. Yet he had seemed to be so crazy in love with her back then. And she was stuck with a man who no longer cared about her and that was definitely visiting other girls while she could only stare and watch, helpless. Perhapds was he trying to get the recomfort she could no longer provide him, or the baby she could definitely not give him either.

God kill them all.

While she was forced to attend to lessons in order to follow her parents' steps, he could wander freely all day around the kingdom and do whatever pleased him. He would never become King, anyway.

I deeply apologize, Your Highness, but in no way possible can we accept an orphaned thief to rule over a realm, especially one as prosperous as ours.

Perhaps it was for the better, finally, she thought.

The best he can look for is to become your personal advisor, but even married to you, wa cannot alow him to become King Consort, let alone the reigning King.

Eugene had never been fond of running a kingdom. She couldn't even call her advisor for he was never there when she requested his help. He missed official meetings with foreign dignitaries, slept during the meeting with the Council - and snored loudly -, he left the balls and parties way too early... She would have to rule alone when the time would come. It was a truth she would have to face, and the sooned she realized it, the better it would be.

They all rot in hell.

(She always cursed herself after thinking of such words.)

Truth to be told, it was much better that way. She didn't even want to figure out how bad of a monarch he wouldv'e made, especially for the sake of the people.

At least he'll be there to provide heirs for the Crown, Your Grace.

If they only knew... Their effort had been fruitless. They had tried countless times, and it had all been in vain. And they - especially Eugene, although he wouldn't admit it - were sick of trying.

What did she have left to hold him back ? What arguments could she use to make him wanna stay ? She couldn't even satisfy the both of them in bed. She hadn't even been able to look at him straight it the eyes for a while.

Rumors.

Rumors were the worst of all. She could hear the constant chattering of the maids, rambling about how the Prince hadn't come back into his wife's arms that night, nor the previous night, not even the night before... Rumors about how he spent all his time in town with friends and went to find other girls when night came. Rumors about how the Princess found herself hoplessly facing her current fragile situation. They were a sure source of informations. They had eyes and ears everywhere, always in the right place to be.

So did her parent, to which ears those rumors hadn't escaped. Every staff member of the palace had ended up knowing more about her personal life than she even herself did, so how wouldn't they ?

Are you okay, my darling ?

And the Queen was back with her failing attempts to comfort her and appear as the strong figure of a mother, trying to catch up on the years they had spent torn apart by some evil woman who knew Rapunzel better than her.

Eugene, however, could not care less about what they said and how it affected the wife he had willingly chosen to spend the rest of his life with.

And live happily ever after.

His love had proven itself to be futile.

She didn't have a single doubt he had loved her. Dearly, tenderly, genuinely, even. But it wasn't the kind of love to last forever like it does in fairytales.

Was love a strength or a weakness ?

She had tried to convince her cousins not to marry for love, when they had come to Corona for her 23rd birthday, because when you realize the love you thought existed doesn't, it's your whole world that comes crashing down. But noticing how Elsa was unhappy, married to a man whom she had been betrothed before she was even born - well, not exactly, but it was all like -, a man who only benefited the throne and who was most likely the reason why Elsa would never know what love coming from someone else but a family member was like, she felt glad she had gotten the chance to experience the joy his love had awaken in her, even if it hadn't lasted.

Better get a little bit than nothing at all.

Moreover, love seemed to be the two sisters' greatest strength that had saved both their lives and the value of family.

If it wasn't for love, we wouldn't be on earth anymore. Anna's love for me saved my life, and it also saved her. Love will thaw—

—a frozen heart.

(And love saved them.)

According to Elsa, Anna was love. A platonic kind of love, sisterly love, but a kind of love that proved to be the strongest of all.

(Romantic love, even your supposed-to-be true love, was nothing comared to that. A little mouse against the imeasurable force of the raging ocean.)

Oh how she would have loved to have a sibling to rely on, a sibling whose love would make her feel like it didn't matter whether Eugene's was still directed toward her or not because it would be the most important thing in the world.

Unhappily for her, she hadn't any, and had to face it all on her own, like she always had. She'd been used to it.

Eugene wouldn't answer any of her questions when it came to that topic.

He was like a book written in a foreign language she did not speak. A language she did not know, let alone understand. He was unreadable.

He was barely a human being anymore. He was not the kind of Prince to grant her every wish, to vow to protect her against all enemies, to take her affectionately in his amrs with no further motives but to hold her close to his heart. He was a man who had grown up alone, had had a tough childhood and had truly faced the whole world on his own. He was deaf to her words, to her pleas to go somehere else together, only the two of them. He barel paid her attention anymore. They were all but a happy royal couple at the end of a famous well-known fairytale she often caught herself dreaming of. No, the were far from it.

He was all she could clearly see, while she was nothing more than a rock on his path. A rock you get rid of with a mere sideway kick.

He would undoubtedly end up leaving the castle, bidding her a fond farewell, leaving her alone and judged by everyone, the main subject of all the maids' gossiping until they'd find something else more intersting to ramble about, which would take some time.

(She would dread fairytales till the very end of times.)

For you, I was only a chapter, but for me, your were the entire book.

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cold As Ice - 8.

Freedom 

As promised, here comes the 8th chapter, and yes, it is rather short (more like REALLY short). I hope you'll enjoy it anyway ! :)

Less talking, more reading, now.

_____________________________

What's that foreign feeling boiling throughout his body ?

Anger ? Sadness ? Jealousy ?

He stares absent-mindedly at the couple bickering mere meters away from him but seemingly not noticing his presence at all. He narrows his eyes at the older man - her to-be-husband, he assumes - and clenches his jaw.

This is not what it seems to be. There's something odd underneath that facade.

She truly is cold as ice when she hides herself away behind the thick facade she has managed to build on her own for the past thirteen years. And it might not please that jerk of a prince who hasn't got a clue about anything that's happening beneath his very eyes. It seems so strikingly obvious for him that he catches his mind wondering how her future husband can not notice it.

The feeling of utter helplessness toward her situation is so unbearable. He cannot even help the one who has, albeit not completely willingly at first, given him a chance to redeem himself. Oh how he wishes he could help.

That's none of your concern, she would say.

Yet, can he merely watch her marry a man she doesn't have the slightest bit of consideration for ? A man she just met ? It's blatant he hardly likes her either. There is only lust, and a overwhelming taste for the Crown, for undenied power and authority. How he wants to pierce his eyes right now, just so he would not see him lay that gaze upon her ever again. The boredom is clearly readable in those two blue sapphire eyes of hers as he speaks to her.

(And her life will be going to waste. It's already going straight to waste.)

"Ahem." the guard standing a few feet behind him clears his throat in a loud, unpleasant sound, reminding him that the horses won't go to their stalls by themselves.

He has no other choice but to comply. Although he'd appreciate very much to remain there and think of a solution for her hopeless situation,  his powerlessness is blinding him.

I can't do anything.

As he leaves the courtyard holding the reins of the two horses in his hands, it seems that he finally notices him and he can hear the Prince asking the Queen who the fuck he is to stay dumbly listening to other people's private conversations, and he would havu spun around and told him that he was Hans Klaus Westerguard, a man who attempted regicide on his fiancée and her sister months ago, and that a private conversation should take place elsewhere but a public courtyard anyone has access to, if it wasn't for the fact he was a future King while he was nothing but a dishonored Prince become an unpaid servant, and that he would most likely throw him harshly in the dungeons.

Away from the light, away from the castle, his room, his job, away from her.

(She'll be taken away from him, anyway.)

He keeps on walking away instead, isn't it the best thing to do ?

"That's none of your concern," he can hear her reply flatly, yet she manages to keep a not-so-cold tone.

How ironic, he muses.

"Moreover, if you wanted this talk to be private, you should've waited for us to be in the library or in the meeting room." she snaps, and turns to leave without another word.

He can hear the piercing echo of her heels on the cobblestoned ground, and when it finally dissipates, an unexpected loud shout follows, and it seems to be adressed to him.

"Hey ! You, over there !"

He freezes.

__________

Author's Note :

Well, well...

Some man-to-man talk eheh.

Sahre your thoughts if you will to, it'd be gladly appreciated, along with constructive criticism

:)

I don't think I'll be continuing this story further than 10 chapters, some people asked me to but well, it doesn't really inspire me, I'm struggling to write the last chapter which should already be finished, and I truly believe this story doesn't make any sense. I'll think about it, but really, I'm not sure (if it even only matters to someone out there lol).

Love, and 'til next time !

Laura Of Arendelle

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cold As Ice - 7.

Freedom

(The Queen was known to be as cold as ice. Well, there was no more asking why, although she didn't seem to behave that way too much around him.)

 The trip back to the castle has been mostly silent. When they have arrived, they have told the guard that they have gone for a ride together, so she could free herself from her queenly duties for a while and watch how the prisoner did his job.

 "Elsa ! My dear." a voice calls from the front doors as the guard takes hold of the reins and gives them to Hans insistantly. "I was wondering where you've been, have you forgotten that we have to announce our engagement to the people ?"he says excitedly as she rolls her eyes, ignoring Hans who is still standing near while he takes her hands in his.

 And the Queen was back at being that cold ice sculpture.

 "I know." she states bluntly and removes her palms from his grasp, too harshly perhaps albeit she has tried to be careful with the gesture. "But it can wait a little" I'm not ready yet.

 Nor will I ever be.

 "Why bothering to postpone something that can be done today, darling ?" he cuts her off, looking slightly irritated.

 Which part in  it can wait haven't you understood ?!

 But what can she answer to that without seeming to be reluctant to marry him ?

 Truth to be told, she is.

 My heart belongs somewhere else no man can ever understand.

 Freedom is all she has craved to get, and now that she has finally reunited with her sister, has been accepted by her people and doesn't lock herself up out of fear anymore, there she is, about to be chained for the rest of her life to someone she doesn't even like.

 Things end that way for royals. The people's sake before her own, she guesses. How she envies Anna at the moment, being free to do what pleases her when she wants it, marrying the man she loves because it won't have any impact on the realm. Free to get up late, free to wander around the town, free to travel with her lover in the mountain for months for ice business, she says.

 Free.

 And that's all that matters. Her sister is happy now, thanks to the fact she was born after her and was able to find in her heart what to forgive her older sister for what she's done not willingly. And thanks to Elsa's unnoticed sacrifice for her happiness. But she has to stay quiet.

 God damn those bloody councilors...

 (And freedom is out of her reach again.)

  2t<4z

[lauraclc2-blog]

It Did Not Take Long

The pain was excruciating.

 "Hans !" she shrieked as loudly as her voice could, eyes shut close, as to make sure she would be heard by whoever's fate had told them to pass nearby.

 A broken promise for a broken promise.

 She glanced down at her blood-stained stomach that had left a streak of the reddish substance on the snow behind her as she crawled with the help of her slender arms to save her own life.

 (Who else would save her if she wouldn't ?)

 "Hans..." she breathed out and ceased to move as if her strengths had suddenly gone away from her frail body and disappeared forever.

 It would not take long before the Queen's demise.

 (Hans.)

 His name sounded salty on her tongue, an unheard cry for help, a plea that would go unnoticed and unanswered unless someone whose name it luckily was would be wandering around here. The hope burned the corner of her lips each time she pronounced that name.

 You're no match for Hans.

 (He wouldn't allow them to accomplish their bloody task.)

 She tried to keep on staring forward. She couldn't just look back, or the past would catch up on her and swallow her until she was completely forgotten. She would be stuck into neverending oblivion. 

 (But isn't it everybody's fate ?)

 She coughed and looked at her wound. It gave her nausea and a irrepresible urge to throw up as she was losing more and more blood, and grew weaker as the seconds fled away.

 (It will not take long before the Queen's demise.)

 A halo of bright light encircled him as he appeared in front of her in a saint-like manner, and she thought it might be an angel that had come down on this dreaded place on earth to take her soul away with him. Or was it a demon sent by the devil itself ?

 She caught herself wondering whether he was truly there or if she was imagining all of this. He couldn't possibly be there, could he ?

 Elsa...

 "Don't let me go, Hans... please..." she peaded in a whisper that sounded so painful yet quite empty, like it was meant to never leave her mouth.

 Her arms absent-mindedly reached out before her, hoping to be able to grab some parts of him, and elbow, an ankle, a wrist would be enough, just so she would at last be sure he wouldn't be leaving her anytime soon. But truth to be told, she already knew she would only catch the emptiness of the cold air winter blew against her so porcelain-like skin.

 "Take me with you Hans... you can't just leave me like that !" she cried out, still she tried to control her voice not to betray herself. "Is that a proper way to treat the woman you claimed to love all along ?"

 But as she expected it although she wouldn't admit it, it went unanswered, more like a rhetorical question than some to which he would respond.

 The Queen's demise...

 "You promised me, Hans !"

 (And her throat was dry from screaming and aching from the biting air that penetrated it to her lungs.)

 If only she could let the blinding light embrace her and take her away from that dreaded place she had found herself in without even being able to understand how.

 "It'll be just you and I... only the two of us..." she whimpered, and there he was, his warm hand cupping the side of her face, that genuine smile upon his so handsome features, a mere inch away from her.

 Oh how she longed for the kiss. The kiss that never came.

 She couldn't repress the urge to curse herself for falling irrationally for those 'so handsome features' and that smile of his, internally knowing that if she hadn't, she wouldn't have put herself into this mess to begin with. But she had and she'd be lying if she said she hadn't lived her happier moments by his side.

 A long life isn't worth living if it isn't spent with you, he had whispered, not expecting her to listen since she was supposed to be sound asleep already.

 A warm blow caressed her jawline, and she was aware by this moment that it was all she was going to receive, and God did she think her heart might explode from beating this fast ! A violent shuver ran down her spine, and she remembered he was the only one who could make her shudder.

 There I believed the cold never bothered you, anyway.

 Her heart - if it was even still there - shattered into pieces while he started to fade away uncontrollably, deaf to her pleas and her heart-splitting cries.

 Beware the frozen hearts.

 She gritted her teeth.

 Bastards. (Except you.)

 She couldn't allow them to find her. She wouldn't be the one to let them put an end to her reign. She wouldn't be the one to let her realm fall into their mischievous hands.

 She wasn't the perfect little Queen they expected her to be. She had never been anything near that. Still her people assumed she was good enough for the throne, since she had spent her whole life studying, alone, in that empty, icy room of hers, readying herself to take her parents' role when the time came. She had never thought it would come this soon. The Council had never seen any reason to give the throne to anybody else - thanks to the education she had received from her parents - so she fitted well for them, but not enough for others.

 You'll fall from your pedestal, My Queen. I will personally make sure you will.

 (The wicked, cursed, sorceress.)

 Those didn't want the powerful Snow Queen to run the kingdom. Not a person who could kill them all with a flick of her hand. They wanted her harmless, but she wasn't. And she would most likely never be.

 Now you shall never lay a foot outside of that so precious castle of yours without covering your asses, Your Grace, or you're irremediably bound to get hurt. Don't say I didn't warn you.

 They used to keep on repeating that she wasn't the problem, that they simply needed a King  to  perfrom his duties, his authority, because they obviously wanted a couple of monarchs to rule the kingdom properly. Accorded to all of these narrow-minded men, it seemed impossible for anyone to possibly love her back, if it wasn't for her kingdom, or for her incredibly stunning body

 I still am your Queen, and nothing gives you the right to speak that way of me !

 and that she wouldn't accept to marry for the sake of the realm since he was there. (They could still arrange that, he had mysteriously said, a wide evil grin spreading its way on his lips.)

 You can't rule such a huge and prosperous kingdom on you own with such little experience, my Queen. You undeniably need a King by your side, and I'm not talking about a traitor such as him.

 (It certainly will not take long.)

 Over my dead body.

 She had had to think quickly before they'd force her into a marriage with some Prince that would mainly be interested in her realm or be wishing to fulfil his most lustful desires with her.

 Stop worrying that much, Elsa, they are no match for us as long as we remain together.

 (He wouldn't allow them to lay a single finger on her, whatever it might take.)

 She lifted her shaky fingers at her temples. Her mind was devoid of any clear thought, but she still understood.

 That was not his blood.

 The cut was deeper than she had assumed. The liquid had trickled down her cheeks like teardrops she hadn't been able to shed yet. And the pain was excruciating, her head throbbing, her vision blurred.

 She leaned her face closer to the immaculate snow and rested it against it, and it soon took the dark red color of her blood. She closed her eyes and waited, her muscles sore. What she waited for, she hadn't got a clue, but all she could notice was how numb she felt.

 Good night, Admiral Freckles.

 You need a husband who can satisfy you both in the kingdom's stuff and grants your wishes in your private life.

 (Did he even think of something else but that sometimes ?)

 I may be the man you need, my Queen.

 It's Queen Elsa, to you. she had coldly reminded him.

 (The Queen's demise.)

 "Over here !" a disembodied voice yelled, and it seemed to be so faraway from her.

 She fluttered open her eyes only to see her fingers covered with her blood, just like the snow underneath.

 She feared her heart might stop beating, but it was the only thing she could still hear. Whatever was going to happen, she liked to convince herself it would be for the better.

 Voices became closer, whispers, shouts, people talking in low-voices as to make sure she couldn't figure out what they were saying. It was of no use, they could have been screaming near her, no sound could be louder than the uninterrupted sound of her beating heart. Still one could could be heard among the othres.

 "Don't touch her !" it said. "She's mine."

 (He had waited for far to long to let them do the nasty job.)

It shall not take long...

 ... before the Queen's demise.

 His footsteps pounded in her ears as he approached her.

 "Well, well, well..." he snorted, his blood-stained sword in one hand. "Looks like the job hasn't been finished yet."

 He stood so close. Too close for her liking. Far too close for her safety. But who was she kidding, she knew this was going to happen.

 He brought the tip of his sword to the cut on her forehead, and she winced in pain, clenching her jaw and she glanced up at him and noticed the wide smirk curling his lips.

 "So, where's your Charming Prince, my Queen ?" he mocked, feigning concern. "I don't see him anywhere nearby."

 Their laughter was so unpleasant to hear. Her vision was blurred by the tears she shed out of pure pain.

 "Fine. I'll take care of her, now go take care of him. I think I can handle her myself." he ordered, dismissing the other men who walked away muttering to themselves.

 He spun around and stalked to her, staring, his sickening satisfied smile still upon his lips. She gave a small push to elsa's head with his toe, earning a painful moan from her as she gripped a handful of snow.

 "Is it painful, my Queen ?" he mockingly asked and laid his foot on her cheek, burying it a little more in the snow.

 Get away from your Queen, you bastard !

 (His voice was strong and full of ire when he rescued her. Why did the Queen cry back then ?)

 "Didn't I tell you that I'd make sure you'd fall from that pedestal of yours, Your Grace ?"

 He seathed his sword back in place and knelt down beside her, landing his fingers on her jawbone and rubbing it lightly.

 (She would  not be calling for death to seize her and take her away, she wouldn't die as a coward, but as someone who fought for the sake of her people.)

 "Things didn't have to go that way. If you could've only loved me, everything might have been easier, My Queen. This didn't originally have to happen."

   Elsa ? My love...

   (It didn't take long before the Queen's demise.)

  >

[lauraclc2-blog]

[lauraclc2-blog]

Thawing The Frozen Heart - Epilogue

The Two Of Them

Anna seemed quite puzzled.

 "So according to you, Hans took you to that hut of his—no, kidnapped you while you were unconscious—and then those men in black decided to just, take you away and... do what nobody knows about 'cause you don't remember any of it." she paused and inhaled in a sharp breath. "Then, the two - what were their names ? - from the Southern Isles, they made sure you would find us so you would go back home and they would take care of Hans afterwards. Is that it ?"

 Elsa passively watched her little sister pacing back and forth across the room nervously, summing up the little she knew and thought was the actual events, her thumb and forefinger under her chin.

 "Yeah... it's quite like that, a little bit more complicated, though—" she began, trying to find a proper answer to her sister's question, which she didn't want to hear since she cut her off.

 "But... those men - if you can even call them that - who..." she struggled with the ords to come and swallowed hard the lump in her throat. "I don't know how to qualify that..."

 "Beat me up ?" the Queen stated flatly, her tone empty as she focused on trying to recall what she couldn't possibly remember.

 It surprised the redhead, who remained at a loss for words for a few seconds. How could Elsa blurt it out this way when Anna felt so bad at the mere thought of it.

 "Mhm, you can say that... well" she steadied herself, "nobody knows who they are, where they are, and what they have exactly done to you." she stated the obvious and stood straight once she had regained her composure.

 She had stopped pacing.

 "I just want to understand..." she mumbled, dropping her arms at her side.

 "Anna... You worry yourself too much." Elsa said as she began to walk to her sister and gently grabbed her hands. "We caught one of them. He actually trapped himself by adventuring too far in our castle. He'll talk, I promise. We will find what they've done, and everything will at last be fine." she assured, trying to comfort her the best she could, albeit she wasn't evven sure to believe her own words.

 A skeptical look remained plastered on the Princess' face. She couldn't chzse the thought of them hurting Elsa away from her mind. Her blood was boiling with anger in her veins, throughout her body, and burned her skin from the inside whenever she merely imaginedthe scene. It gave her nausea.

 They would pay for this.

 "I'll cut them into slices. And I'll make necklaces with their guts." the redhead deadpanned as the older blinked.

 "W—what ?"

 "You heard me well. I'll slaughter them and force their leader to eat their flesh a few days afterward so—"

 "I got it !" Elsa snapped, removing her hands from Anna's grasp. "No more details, please."

 How does it feel when you know there's something that might be important, that you don't remember and that nobody can tell you about it except someone who surely is a nemesis ? When even trying to recall even the littlest clue and bringing them up, you just can't collect the slightest bit of reality ?

 She couldn't describe it. It was such an odd feeling, so foreign, to know that a part of your life is missing and that you might never remember it properly. Her life had gotten so uneventful that she had never got to worry about forgetting things or not.

 She would have loved to forget those dreary days.

   The door burst open.

 Hans immediately stood up and straightened himself, not even taking notice of the guard that was still there. Anna barely spared him a glance and ran away, bidding goodbye to her sister.

 "Remember not to tell anyone all of this, Anna !" Elsa called after her, and the flick of Anna's hand was the only sign that proved she had heard her.

 "Have you told her ? About—" Hans hesitantly asked as he took a step forward but immediately backed up when the guard threateningly approached.

 "Are you crazy ?!" The Young Queen scolded him and dismissed the guard as she steadied herself. "Don't mention it here." she whispered through gritted teeth.

 She closed the door of her bedroom and gestured for him to follow her to her study.

 "She knows, yes." she began as soon as the wooden door was shut close behind them. "Well, she already knew what you told her but, now she knows everything we know." she shortened her speech, feeling uneasy with that topic.

 Hans nodded.

 "How did she take it ?"

 "Not as bad as I thought she would. She threatened to go downstairs and slaughter him but I succeeded in making her understand that he was of better use alive than dead." she explained calmly, like it was definitely the most normal thing ever.

 Not as bad as she thought... he mused and smiled lightly.

 He remembered well the punch she had given him.

 "I have also told her NOT to tell anyone else. You've heard it, I believe." she paused and waited for him to nod. "I order you the same. Please."

 The sudden change of her tone caught him off guard. It felt odd for somebody to just say please after giving an order.

 "I—I don't see the point in spreading the new." he stuttered, suddenly unsure of how to reply.

 Since when did she even need his permission to order something ? As she always repeated, she was the one who takes decisions. He would feen even guiltier if he dared to betray her again.

 "Good, then. The people are already worried enough about all the "unrecovered memories" thing." she declared, her voice trembling.

 She still couldn't recall a thing.

 I Hans had listened to himself right at this moment, he would have asked her how she did feel. But seeing her so vulnerable already yet so powerful, her decided to drop the subject instead.

 "Has my family returned back to the Southern Isles ?"

 "They're planning to leave by tomorrow in the early morning. Is there any problem with it ?" she inquired, seeming slightly irritated. "If you want to go back with them, it is perfectly—"

 "Oh, no !" he interjected in sudden realization. "I was just asking."

 His palms were hanging in the air, waiting for her reaction. It never came. Instead, he stared at her and wondered for the nth time how he could have been cruel enough to—well, you know what I mean.

 It was so haunting already. He couldn't imagine how terrible things would have gotten if her had accomplished his act.

 "And ... what about Anna finding out that you came to visit me without her knowing it ?" he carefully tried.

 Elsa's arms slowly wrapped around her frail body and she sighed.

 "She knew it. She spoke too fast, as always." she paused. "Still she was a little bit mad at me."

 As always.

 "Only a little bit ?" surprise flashed through Hans' peridot eyes.

 "Okay. More than a little bit. It's not like you broke her heart." she snapped sharply without even realizing it. "And let her freeze to death."

 You're no match for Elsa.

 Hans gritted his teeth as the words sunk in. It was something none of them would ever forget, yet he didn't even understand her right then. And here they were. Alone in her study. And she had defended him albeit he was the one who—

 The reality struck him straight at his heart and he stumbled backwards.

 "Hans ?"

 He had started all of this. Whatever had happened to Elsa was all his fault again.

 What have I done?

 "It—It's okay... I swear..." he muttered and grabbed the corner of the desk to straighten himself.

 The young Queen raised a brow at him. She was none to be fooled so easily.

 "Yeah." she deadpanned. "And I am the Princess of China."

  "It's just, I—" he stopped in his tracks and corrected himself. "I just realized something, that's all." he lied, not wanting to have this conversation.

 "You almost fell to the ground, Hans." Elsa insisted.

 She obviously didn't want to drop it.

 Well, he should have asked her.

 It could be read on Elsa's face that she didn't know herself the reason why she was asking, just like when she had riden to the hut to look for him and had helped him before getting back here. And Hans couldn't be more reluctant to give her the answer she wanted to hear. The answer she thought she wanted to hear, but that she wouldn't if she knew what exactly it was.

 "We have already talked together before. I hope you haven't forgotten that." she hissed.

 "I haven't." he replied briefly and let go of the desk.

 He interwined his fingers behind is back.

 "But I shouldn't tell you."

 "Oh, and why is it so ?" she smirked, arms crossed against her chest.

 And he would never get used to her smirking at him. (when she seemed to be so vulnerable mere minutes ago.)

 "I'm again the one who started it all." he snapped, blurting out the words like he couldn't keep them anymore, although he wanted to hide it away from her.

 Her gaze dropped to the floor and she fell silent. Her lips were pressed in a thin like while she searched for words.

 "Please say something." he pleaded, still staring at her.

 She found none.

 She chuckled instead.

 "Well, at least you're not one these heartless bastards." she laughed and collapsed onto an armchair he hadn't noticed yet in a very unqueenly manner.

 He leaned against the desk, uncomfortable.

 "I don't find that funny." he remarked dryly. "Not at all. I don't believe I have to remind you of all I did and all that happened since I heartlessly took you away."

 Confronted to her silence, he almost felt forced to keep going. Almost.

 And so did he.

 "I caused your sleepless nights first, then I made all those who love you worried sick, like it wasn't sufficient enough, I imprisoned you, and, although I won't say I regret it 'cause I'd be lying," he paused for a short second. "I even kissed you." he mumbled like it didn't matter, because there was so much worse at the moment, that it didn't right then.

 And be because he wouldn't ever regret it.

 "And by my fault, they found you." he whispered.

 "Yeah, I have understood." she rolled her eyes and stated out of boredom. "You can also add that whoever-I-don't-remember beat me up, and that I lost precious memories about all of this by whichever manner they used." she added disdainfully as she sat up properly. "Listen, Hans, honestly, there are things much more serious elsewhere. It's no time to complain."

 You're no match for Elsa.

 (Not even emotionally speaking.)

 His gaze no longer remained upon her. Instead, it was fixed on the ground underneath his feet.

 He had never noticed how incredible of a woman Elsa truly was. She had been through so much pain, alone, secluded, yet she had silently given him the best chance of a new start in his life : redemption. Even if he knew he couldn't be completely forgiven for his awful acts, he would never be thankful enough toward her. She had been so understanding although she had lived alone and stayed in fear for years, she had proved herself for being an amazing human being. And she was still able to admit there were fates much worse than hers, and, consequently, than his, albeit he had endured physical and psychological pain during his whole life. 

 And she was so right.

 He buried his hands deep into his pockets.

 "There are people who deserve so much more than what they've been given." he stated emotionlessly.

 Elsa's bright blue eyes looked up straight at him, deep, penetrating.

 She smiled genuinely.

 "I know. And I don't assume being one of them. I already have a lot, and you did, too." she assured and stood up. "We have to make the difference between not much, and nothing at all."

 Hans sighed.

 "You deserve so much more, Elsa. But you keep on giving chances to people who don't deserve it. After what I've done—"

 (What had the former prince done ?)

 And her name still felt so odd on his lips.

 "When people lose everything out of pure foolishness, if no one is there to bless their life with a second chance everyone deserve - and I believe we already talked about that -, what do they have left ?"

 She was standing a few inches away from him, tall, regal, and oh-so-magnificent.

 He wasn't even aware she had mived from her spot. He backed up against the desk, his hands gripping it so tight his knuckles turned extremely white.

 Where were the gloves ?

 "Nothing, I guess..." came the soft answer Elsa had been expecting.

 (And they were so close...)

 "Then, even if isn't much, at least you can't say you've go nothing to hold onto." she smiles, and it slowly faded, because that smile had made its way up to her lips especially for him and couldn't remain plastered there.

 She didn't know how much it actually did mean for him.

 Without even being fully aware of what he was doing, he reached out a hand and laid it on her cheek. She did not pull away. She closed her eyes and buried her head in it instead. The gesture itself surprised him, and her breathing increased and became shaky.

 His thumb gently rubbed her cheek, bare hands against cold skin.

 Just let it go—"Elsa..." he trailed off and took a step forward.

 Was the Queen even aware of what she was doing, too ?

 Perhaps was she merely longing for the warmth she didn't possess, or perhapds did she not dislike the touch of his so rarely bare hands. Or perhaps did she only need somebody to open up to. Somebody that wasn't a member of her family, that wasn't the last member of her family.

 She choked back her tears as she wrapped her cold hands around his wrist and stood still.

 (She did try to hide it away.) In vain.

 Emotions could be so complicated sometimes. Who could've guessed she would end up on the edge of tears that day, in her study, with him ? Minutes ago, she was the one to comfort him, the one to give small smiles that warmed his heart, and just then she would be the one who wouldn't be able to hold it back anymore. And who knew what exactly had caused her to become so weak all of a sudden...

 She sobbed so silently that, not beign able to see her face, Hans could have thought that the light shake of her shouders displayed laughter. That would be if he was a total stranger, not aware of the current situation she was in, under different circumstances, and if his hand wasn't pressed against her wet features.

 How badly did he want to take her in his arms, to tell her everything would be going to be okay albeit he couldn't even believe it himself—like he wasn't the source of it all.

 His fingers slid from her cheeks to her hair and he entangled them into her platinum blond locks, bringing her face to his chest, and he rested his chin on thop of her head, his other hand around the small of her back as she gripped his shirt and held onto it for dear life.

 (And he had no more hand to wipe away the tear drops he didn't want to let show.)

 His interrupted breathing betrayed him too.

 She lifted her face and gazed up at him, and her hands slowly reache out to wipe his tears away. He flinched at the intensity of her eyes and the coolness of her fingers, and the closeness of her tiny body.

 She wiped her own tears away.

 "We should save tears for moments of happiness." she stated and felt Hans' grip loosening. "A tear surely is a burst of laughter that lost its way."

 She could not tell what she did feel toward him.

 Compassion.

 He smiled weakly.

 "That's true." he replied, and albeit it was quite forced, the smile gracing his features sent a shudder down her spine.

 He did not mention it. He didn't need to, she already knew he had flet it, she was envelopped tight in his warm embrace. He removed his hand from her hand and rested it on the other one, ars protectively wrapped around her waist.

 Whoever it was that hurt you, they will pay for this.

 (And he wouldn't let go of her.)

 They didn't which one of the two of them needed it the most, but they surely enough enjoy each other's company if it meant they could speak freely. And right at this moment, they didn't even need words to express their feelings, the emotions that overwhelmed them and allowed the tears to roll down their lightly rosy cheeks.

 Whose heart was frozen ?

 (They would thaw it, anyway.)

 Never would he have believed he would bless her presence around him, and neither would she. But for a moment they could forget the world surrounding them, and each and every problem that came along with it. There were only the two of them, alone in a locked study, in a busy castle of a fair kingdom in the middle of summer. And it was all that mattered.

 He buried his nose in her silk platinum locks, and hummed her scent.

   Whatever was to happen next, they would be thawing the frozen hearts.

[lauraclc2-blog]

Thawing The Frozen Heart - Chapter 19

Remember

Elsa's eyes fluttered open. She pressed her lips into a thin line and focused her attention on recalling the past events. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember. All she was sure of was that it had happened.That dream was there to remind her of that. Even if she didn't remember everything, it could still help.

  Yet there was something odd.

  Why haven't they taken care of Hans ?

  She was the one who had brought him back from his cabin. What had Thomas and his son become ?

  She could feel her veins pulsating as her head was throbbing, she could almost hear them. Her brain was about to explode.

  She groaned and painfully lifted her cold fingers to her temples and delicately placed them on them. The coldness of her touch was, as always, so calming and it eased the pain, allowing her to let out a shaky sigh full of relief.

  Now where am I ? Again...

  Voices. They seemed to be so far as they reached her ears barely as whispers. Or maybe were the people talking whispering...

  Definitely not. They were arguing.

  What kind of people would argue in front of her room if they didn't want to wake her up ? They seemed to be right behind the door, where the only stray of light came from. It pierced through her eyes for that she had remained in the dark for such a long time, she assumed. She waited for a minute to let her eyes adjust to it as the arguing between the two went on.

  She gathered her strengths to lift herself up on her bed and rested on her elbows for a few seconds. The world was spinning around her and it took her all her mind not to fall back onto the matress when she fully sat up.

  "I said enough !" she heard a strong voice shout.

  It surely belonged to a man, and the lack of an answer from the other one showed that they seemed to be speechless.

  She sliped out of the sheets and stood up, trying her best to keep her balance with the help of the wall. Cautiously, she headed to the door, careful to where she stepped to make sure she wouldn't trip. She hit a nighstand a few feet away from the bed. Her nighstand.

  "Who allows you to speak this way in my castle ?!" and the voices were nothing more than a blur.

  Her nighstand.

  At first, she didn't pay attention at it and tip-toed to the door, finally able to walk by herself but still watching her step.

  Then she realized.

  She was home.

  (Precisely, in her very chambers.)

  She couldn't find a word to describe the relief that paralyzed her body for half a second before all her muscles instantly relaxed.

  She had come back home. She didn't know how, but it didn't even matter. She was sick of finding herself waking up in places she had never been at before nor had ever seen. She was safe.

  "How can I be sure you didn't knock her out when she came to visit you, so you would be able to breath in some fresh air in another place that this cell in the dungeons ?" the voice questioned, and Elsa knew far too well whose voice it was. "How can Elsa not tell me about her secretly visiting him..." she mumbled.

  A sound of protest came from the other person she immediately recognized, too. She perfectly knew whom this voice belonged to.

  "Hey ! I'm right next to you ! Moreover, do you even know what secretly means ?"

  "How rude it is to answer one's question by another question !" Anna hissed, indignant.

  "Fine, then may you have the decency, Your Royal Highnesss, to explain me why on earth would I still be there then ? Why have I chosen to tell you that without warning anyone else instead of fleeing ?"

  It was no good for her that her sister was having an argument with him.

  Goddamn it.

  His question was left unanswered by the feisty princess.

   "Stop yelling ! You'll end up waking her up !" she ordered dryly, trying not to shout herself.

  "What ?" he gasped. "Oh, I see, and how about you shouting at me for the past five minutes ? I just wanted to check on her, then you came !" he argued, not lowering his tone.

  "I'm her sister—" she began to justify herself but could not finish as he cut her off.

  "And you're yelling." he remarked flatly, apparently exasperated yet calm. "Let me remind you that you're the one who started that right in front of her room."

  And Elsa could already imagine her little sister shouting about how-could-she-come-visit-him-without-informing-her.

  "I carried her up here without anyone but you noticing it ! he defended himself, pretty well, she should admit.

  "Won't you tell me what happened ?"

  There was a pause.

  "It'd be better if Elsa tells you about it herself." he stated.

  Fine.

  Her tone sounded defying, but Elsa wasn't even sure whether she had answered him or not.

  She soon found out as the door flung open and hit her right in the face, and she stumbled backwards. She managed - God only knows how - not to trip and fall.

  Gasps.

  Her sister, her hand still wrapped around the doorknob, mouth agape and wide-eyed, stood there, Hans a few inches behind her.

  "Goodness Elsa, I am so sorry !" she apologizedtoo loudly but lowered Elsa when Elsa closed her eyes shut.

  She only had the time to see her sister at last letting go of the doorknob as she re-opened them and brought her cold fingers to her temples.

  "It is okay." she whispered, her voice varely hearable.

  As Anna was about to speak again, she was cut short by Elsa.

  "Hans caused no harm to me, Anna." she declared calmy. She had to get rid of this topic quickly. "On the contrary, he actually prevented that bastard from hurting me too badly and—doing anything he wanted to. Now he's under our custody, locked up in a cell." she explained in a mid-voice.

  Anna's eyes widened even more.

  "W—what ?"

  She sighed.

  "I mean that he isn't to held responsible for what happened after he took me away—"

  "Yeah, yeah, I understood that..." she dismissed the explanation, shaking her head.

  "Then what ?" Elsa asked out of boredom.

  The stawberry blonde turned around to face Hanss who stood by her side in the doorway.

  "Hans, do you know what that means ?" she inquired dryly, and Elsa couldn't tell it was going to end up well.

  Oh, God.

  Hans looked slightly confused but uttered an answer nonethless, and Elsa watched.

  "That—I'm innocent ?" he suggested and raised a brow at Anna.

  Her expression darkened noticeably.

  "No, you idiot !" she suddenly smacked his arms, earning a protest from him as Elsa shut her eyes tight as an immediate response to the pain it caused. "It means she's heard you shouting all over again and it has woken her up !" she clarified, still hitting him.

  Elsa playfully rolled her eyes at her sister's childishness, and her lips curled into a genuine smile.

  "Anna." she heard her own voice interrupt, but it didn't even seem she was the one who spoke.

  She glanced at her. When she regained her composure, Elsa turned to Hans, who was staring at her too.

  "I need some privacy to speak with my sister." she requested. "And thank you for helping us to catch that bastard, I hope he's safely locked up. And, thanks for bringing me here."

  The former Prince blushed lightly as the heat rose to his cheeks.

  "It was nothing, really, Your Majesty." he bowed and eyed Anna, a smirk upon his lips as he spun around and left the room.

  "Hans." Elsa called. "Stay nearby. There are things to be discussed of between us, too."

  He merely nodded and sat down against the wall in the hallway on the cold floor, a guard standing straight beside him, watching his every move.

  Elsa closed the door behind her and her sister and she locked it.

      "Get your hands away from her, you bastard !"—or I'm going to litterally break your face.

  His pace was fast and threatening as he headed toward the stranger.

  How is it possible anyone else has heard her ?

  (Not even guards...)

  The tall man who was holding her firmly against the wall, a hand around her long and so white throat and the other one imprisoning her wrists tightly, stared menacingly at him.

  "Hans..." Elsa struggled to speak as the air was irremediably pulled away from her lungs at every second pasing by, unreachable.

  "I don't think I have any order to receive from a bloody traitor who attempted murder on that very same person." he spat, disdain filling his tone as the words got under his skin like venom and he glanced back at his victim, pressing further against her throat.

  He earned a pitiful cry from her. One that would sent chills down his spine ans make his heart shatter.

  "Royalty has to die, especially when it's wicked." he chuckeld lightly when he laid his eyes on Hans' hands balling into fists. "Don't you think so, my dear ?" he looked down at Elsa's oceanic blue eyes that cast him a pleading glance before closing her eyes to focus on keeping breathing, if that was even still possible.

  "Don't talk this way to your Queen !" Hans warned him through gritted teeth.

  He had to find a way to set her free.

  "Are you sure ? Well, there are plenty of ways to speak to a whore, a coward who ran away when discovered and left her realm to starve under an unending winter of her own creation !" he smirked devishly, ans it only grew wider with Esa's tears staining her pale face. "Truth hurts, doesn't it ?" he asked her before he glanced sideways to Hans whose expression had become much angrier. "She's not my Queen anymore, I'm not even sure I can call her that."

  There was no way Hans could act rapidly enough. The man would break

her neck.

  "If she was My Queen, she'd not be there cornered against the wall by my very body, and neither would I, you can believe me. My bed would be a so much better place to be with her."

  God that chuckle was unbearable to her, and God how did the words sink in ! Hans clanched her jaw so hard he thought his teeth might shatter too.

  "I guess you're more useful alive, then." the stranger declared and lightly loosened the grip on her throat, barely enough for Elsa to properly catch her breath.

  Never had Hans punched somebody that hard before. Not even his brothers. Anna's punches would appear like a caress.

  Instantly, his hands came to cup his face and Elsa collapsed onto the ground, her head hitting the arm of a chair none of them had noticed before.

  The man fell to the floor under Hans' kicks and punches, and he jumped on him, squeezing his neck tightly.

  "Don't you dare to lay a single finger on her ever again !" he shouted and hit him until he completely ceased moving, unconscious.

  He threw his body into the nearby cell and shackled his wrists. He closed the door shut and tried to secure it with a rope until a guard would lock it properly.

  "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." he mumbles and bounced to Elsa.

  He knelt down beside her and brought his palm to her face, lifting it so he would stare at her features.

   What had the stranger done ?

[lauraclc2-blog]

We Both Matter - Iceburns Oneshot

"Elsa ! What the fuck are you doing !?"

  She wasn't expecting him before it was ten pm. He wasn't supposed to come back this early and mess everything up again.

  So, when he roughly grabbed her by the elbows and lifted her out of the icy cold water, every feeling that invaded her surprised her. From the burning warmth of his hands to the coldness of the outside air biting her wet skin. His voice rang in her ears, her hearing was still blurred by what was left of the water she had kept her head under for minutes.

  "Goddamn it Elsa ! What the hell crossed your mind !" he angrily shouted at her, his grip on her elbows tightening at every second passing by, actually tighter than he had ever held her.

  She moaned, her throbbing head inflicting a striking pain to her. It was becoming unbearable, adding to that the weight of her long wet platinum locks.

  She jerked her head backward - even if it meant that her hair weighed more than before - and squeezed her eyes shut as she thought it might ease the painful sound in her ears and that was reverberating throughout her brain.

She allowed her lips to let out a deep sigh of relief when one of Hans' warm hands left her arm and found its way to the back of her head. He slowly, carefully brought it forward, and although her eyes were still closed, she could feel his penetrating gaze upon her.

  "Look at me, Elsa." he whispered, but she knew very well that it was an order.

  He had ceased to yell, that she was silently grateful for. She obeyed, her sapphire blue eyes fluttering open, and they instantly met his gaze. It was one of those gazes that could undress her just by staring at her - not that she wasn't already naked, and soaked wet - and make her so weak that she wouldn't be able to fight back. Her current state was already making her vulnerable.

  She glanced away. He was the only one who could ever disarm her that

fast.

  "I said, look at me." he repeated, his voice steady.

  It took her all her might to utter an answer, it was so tiring she thought her brain might explode form the effort.

  "I can't." was all she could manage to say, and she kept her voice low not to accentuate her killing headache.

  Immediately afterward, she felt his hand slightly squeeze her head and force her to stop avoiding the inevitable eye contact.

  "H-hans..." she breathed out as she tried to loosen his grip with one of her hands. "Please..." she pleaded, the pain getting the best of her while she tried to keep her powers under control.

  "You wouldn't want me to hurt you now, would you ? Because I wouldn't, either." he confessed, well aware of what she would answer. "Now listen."

  He waited for her to show that yes, she would at last be listening to him. It took her a long time to realize he was actually waiting. Her mind was devoid of any clear idea, everything was a blur or some kind of question she burned to ask to the man that had gotten her head over heels, but that she thought wiser to keep to herself.

  Conceal, don't feel.

  "Is life this unbearable that you'd rather leave its game instead of fighting ?" he finally inquired, apparently sick of waiting for something that would not come.

  She could see it like she could see the water filling the bathtub she was in. It was obvious, she knew it just by looking at his lips. The way they curled when he spoke, accompanied with a slight roll of his eyes betrayed his boredom.

 His question was kind of embarrassing for that she had no real idea what to reply. Whatever she would say could be held against her. And what valuable reason could she give to making an attempt on her own life ?

  She had none. That was the truth. Actually, there wasn't any.

  "I'm sorry." she muttered, but perhaps she had blurted it out too brutally.

  "Being sorry is not enough." he sighed, removing his hands from her and letting go while he stood up. "Not anymore."

  His gaze was still on her. A mix of disappointment, and misunderstanding, incomprehension. There was a huge hole between the two of them right at this moment, and she was slipping out of his reach, one more time.

  "How can I keep on saving you if even you are not able to save yourself ?" he asked, biting his lower lip. "From yourself..." he mumbled, shaking his head.

  The void invading her spirit was completely blinding her. She was no less than a stranger to herself and, consequently, to anyone else. How could she remain close to somebody else then if she couldn't even stay safe around her own soul ? Everything felt like a dream. Like nothing out there was truly happening, albeit it truly felt real. Like she was already dead inside that empty envelope they called a body but that had always felt more like a prison.

  Hans took a few steps backward and absently studied her while her grabbed his wife's towel that was laying on the chair, properly folded, and handed it to her.

  "Hans, I-"

  He insistantly held the towel out, silencing her.

  She reluctantly seized it and unfolded it before her soaked frame as she cautiously stood up too, and she tightly wrapped it around her frail body. As she was about to step out of the bathtub, her auburn-haired husband - she had long forgotten how she loved that red mane of his - approached and leaned closer, slipping an arm around her small waist protectively, the other one laying under her knees. He brought her close to him and lifted her like a newly wed husband would carry his wife. Just like he had done years before, when they had finally said yes to each other and linked their lives forever. He had never stopped to carry her that way, because he knew she loved it. But at that moment, Elsa wondered if he had truly noticed that he was doing it.

  Her two hands on his shoulders, she nested her head in the crook of his neck as he squeezed her body tight against him like his life depended on it.

  "Elsa..." he breathed, laying his chin on top of her platinum head. "You saved me from death..." he began, his voice filled with sobs he was trying to hide away.

  She could hear it cracking, and it literally split her hear in two pieces of frosted flesh.

  "How is that possible.." he continued, and it took him all the strength he could gather to end his sentence. "... that you're not able to save your own life ?"

  She couldn't hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall when his words reached her ears. When she started to weep, he put her down on her feet and held her shoulders at one arm length from him. He brought his forefinger under her chin and lifted it so their eyes would meet, his thumb rubbing her trembling lower lip.

  "Why ? Why Elsa?"

  Those words barely came to her, she guessed her mind was trying to ignore them, just because she could never find an answer.

  "Why have you done this again ?" he quietly asked as he wiped the fresh tears away from her perfectly sculptured face.

  Or to avoid having to reply with the classic 'I don't know' thing.

  It made absolutely no sense to her. Those words were meaningless, like they had never existed, like it was a spoken language she did not know. Barely understandable, if not at all. She felt remorseful for the pain she saw when she glanced into his bright emerald green eyes. A pain she was the cause of. Still, she was unsure whether she really regretted her very act or not.

  Goddamn it.

  He cupped her face, his hands covering her jawlines and his fingers laying behind her ears.

  "Wouldn't you have missed plenty of things, sweet nothings may they be ?" he inquired, pulling her closer. "Wouldn't you miss this ?" he whispered as he leaned in closer and crushed his lips on her icy cold ones.

  She placed her hands on his hips. It was the kiss. One of those he perfectly knew she wouldn't live without, and he wouldn't either. One that had proven to the world they would fight against all odds to end up together, whatever people would say. One that showed they had succeeded. He had just played his ace. And, to her own surprise, she kissed back after letting go a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding yet. She deepened the kiss, internally fearing it would be the last she'd get from him. Because this is the thingd that seem to be meaningless that really matter and that you'd end up missing albeit you wouldn't notice it.

  When the both of them were out of breath, they parted lips, their foreheads leaning against each other's.

  Of course she would have missed all those things. Her supposed-to-be last thoughts had been directed toward them, but she couldn't ignore the bliss that had filled her when she no longer fought to keep her head above the water. It had felt so unreal, like she could breath underwater. But soon the reality had flooded in her mind, forcing her to open her eyes ans realize the water couldn't keep her safe from whatever she was trying to chase away, from the monster she had always been afraid of and that was sleeping inside : herself.

  "I don't want to be alone anymore, Hans..." she confessed, still unable to hold back the tears she tought she could and that were rolling on her cheeks.

  "Shhh..." he hushed her, placing his forefinger on her soft mouth. "It is gonna be alright..." he wrapped his arms around her waist and her shoulders as she tangled her fingers in his hair, her body against his, again. "You are not alone. I swear on my life you'll never be alone again, Elsa."

  He held onto her for dear life, like his depended on hers only. Consequently, making an attempt on her life was exactly like making an attempt on his. Because she had saved him once, when she was the only one who would've done it, when it seemed that the whole world was against him except her.

  Feeling... (Don't !)

  "You should get dressed for bed." he reminded her, breaking the silence that had naturally taken its place and embraced the two of them. "I'd like to remain a gentleman tonight, if you see what I mean." he explained while pulling away.

  It wasn't the moment to think about that. He knew it, and he knew that she would have missed this as well. Mentioning it might have made her realize. At least he could hope so.

  He went to her closet to pick up a nightgown for her. Although she could do it by herself, he feared she would try something he was aware she wouldn't right at this moment. Wasn't it absolutely normal after living that ?

  He was so caring, and she couldn't even tell the same about herself. She had literally saved him, but what was that for if he was meant to live this way forever ? He had saved her too, more than only once, and she was still defying him without she even realized she was. She caught herself eyeing the bottle of sleeping pills - again -, when-

  "I brought another towel to dry your hair." he declared as he came behind her and carefully wrapped it around her platinum blonde locks, making her realize she hadn't moved the slightest from the exact point where he had left her. "Here's your nightgown, you look absolutely stunning in it." he confessed, unable to keep this compliment for himself as he already pictured his wife wearing it in his mind.

  He stepped in front of her and gestured to the chair where he put the nightgown down. He saw the heat growing to her cheeks and her gaze was still fixed on the ground before her.

  "C'mon, I'm not watching you." he pouted, turning around. "Besides, I've seen you in less, do you realize that ?" he peeked his head over his shoulders and tried his best to smile genuinely at her, encouraging her to change into that nightgown he had chosen for her with no further motive.

  Checking on her husband to make sure he wasn't looking at her, she decided to obey. She had caused enough troube.

  "And by the way, don't you dare trying something silly." he warned her, perhaps was it just to blame her even more, it seemed obvious she would remain calm around him.

  She somehow understood him, because she should be feeling guilty for that. And he should be much more infuriating. She wondered if he truly had realized what had happened.

  She cautiously eyed him sitting on the chair, her nightgown laying onto his lap. It was only after she had made sure that his eyes were closed that she allowed herself to drop the towel and put her underwear on.

  He wasn't watching. If he was, he would've gasped, or at least let a discreet smirk creep on his face.

  She awkwardly tip toed to him, twiddling with her fingers. She reached out a shaky hand to grab the aforesaid nightgown.

  "I'm done." she stated after a few seconds, and she was still standing in the middle of the bathroom.

  "Come."

  His tone was firm and ordering, and she couldn't say she was fond of discussing about that. It would take hours to talk with him, especially since it was the nth time they'd found themselves in that exact same situation. She often wondered how he could keep on supporting her and having he same talk over and over again. Normal people would've fled away. Or perhaps was his love for her blinding him, or at least it prevented him to consider the idea of running away of his wife. But there was also the result of their love that tied the bond between them and that surely was the reason number one why he didn't want to leave. Because he loved her more than aything, too. She assumed he wanted to stay for the both of them, because he actually loved them and believed saving her was worth the effort of staying by her side.

  She sighed.

  She wouldn't be done with that discussion soon. There was plenty of unspoken words that had to be said between them. And it was the moment to allow them out of their mouths. No, this would definitely not be like every other time they talked about it. They would remember it. Because he wouldn't let her go.

  In the dim light of the night, she noticed Hans' shape sitting on the edge of the bed and gesturing for her to do the same. She hesitated, and so she found herself standing stupidly for the third time that evening when the doors swung open.

  "Mama ! Papa !" the toddler burst into her parents' bedchambers, not showing the slightest bit of pity toward the doors she had so violently sent against the walls despite her young age.

  "Emma !" Hans exclaimed, opening his arms wide as a bright smile instantly illuminated his features.

  His daughter didn't wait for more to run toward him and throw herself in his warm embrace. As his grip on her tightened, he stared blankly at his wife, and when Emma pulled away and turned toward her mother, it seemed to intenfisy.

  "What's happening here ?" she asked, her small hands resting on her father's shoulders. "Mama ?"

  Hans' emerald green eyes looked back at her lovingly and he cupped her rosy cheeks with his hand.

  "Nothing worth talking about, sweetheart." he reassured her but couldn't prevent himself to spare a disapproving glare at his wife, who was biting nervously at her lower lip while digging her nails deep into her other arm.

  "Fine. Good night then Papa." the young blonde-haired girl approached her father to kiss him on the cheek, which gesture he returned to her before she bounced happily toward her mother.

  She lifted her arms up in the air to reach for her, and those green eyes of her that reminded Elsa so much of Hans' made her heart sink. She internally cursed herself.

  She slowly knelt down beside her daughter who threw her arms around her neck while she wrapped hers protectively around her tiny frame.

  "Good night my love. Sleep well." she whispered in Emma's ear as they exchanged light kisses.

  "Good night Mama, love you !" Emma yelled then pullled away and crossed the room to the doors she carefully closed behind her when she left.

  Neither Hans nor Elsa had moved from their spot, but Hans' expression had noticeably darkened.

  "Do you think she would 'sleep well' if she was aware that her beloved mother had attempted to end her own life" he hissed yet paused, "again ?" he added, spitting words like venom. "How can you forget about her, how can you be so selfish ?" he inquired, his tone increasing as his eyes uncontrallably welled up with tears he didn't want to show.

  "Hans please, don't start it." she sighed, holding back the tears that would not take a long time to fall as well.

  They were both in the same state. She started wondering if seeing their daughter had caused him to fully understand their current situation, and what she had done again. It always seemed to restart, like each time this happened, it was the first time. Like he wasn't able to handle it because no matter how many times she would do that, it would always be that painful for him. And he always reacted in different ways. But one day, there would be no reaction at all.

  "Oh dear Lord." he sighed, his elbows on his lap as he brushed his face with his hands before letting his arms fall in between his thighs. "Please, remind me who's started it ?"

  By the moment she finally looked up, he was already standing beside her, but she couldn't find the force to stand up as well.

  "You have everything everyone would be dreaming of, yet you're not satisfied." he accused her, glancing at her with such pity reflected in his eyes that it gave her the feeling she was going to throw up.

  "Happiness doesn't rest upon material goods." she snapped, retching as she glared at him. "I thought you, of all people, would know that."

  "What is that supposed to mean ?" he asked, his eyes widening considerably.

  "We both come from a Royal family, but I don't believe you were happy as a child, bullied by the rest of your brothers." she explained, careful to the tone she used to speak of such a sensitive subject. "Of course, we had and still have all we want, but it all comes with strings. Our lives are made upon responsabilies. Endless responsabilities. See : we have power, we have to take care of a whole kingdom and of each and every villager, we get a crown, and it is the officil symbole of that role, and the list goes on, Hans."

  She studied his face as she caught her breath, but it displayed no sign of emotion She could just tell he was listening and still attempting not to let tears roll down his cheeks.

  "Happiness is a psychological state. That's no lie when they say money doesn't make it.

  "But our family ? Doesn't Emma make you happy ? Doesn't Anna ? Don't I make you happy ?" he asked, his voice cracking as he let the flood of tears stain his face another time.

  Her gaze instantly softened. It was her faute.

  "Hans-" she tried to speak, her eyes wet as well knowing she had caused her husband to wonder if he was really able to assure her happiness.

  "I love you." he cut her off. "You know that there's absolutely nothing in this world I cherish more than you and Emma." he declared, kneeling down beside her to bring his face at her height. "Why haven't you informed me about that, about you fears, your thoughts ? You know you can speak freely to me, there's absolutely nothing I can't hear, I don't believe being that narrow-minded." he whispered to her, hoping this would also soothe her and calm her down.

  The silence was embarrassing. This was the moment she should've chosen to speak, she had plenty of things to say, but right at this moment, she couldn't find anything. A huge mistake.

  He sighed, looking away.

  "I didn't think being such a bad husband for you, you should've told me if I wasn't worthy enough..."

  Her eyes widened without she even realized it.

  "No !" she shouted - too loudly, perhaps - and threw har arms toward him, grabbing his shoulders with both hands and desperately holding onto him. "No..." she repeated, realizing how far this was leading them, and Hans could feel her trembling uncontrollably.

  "Then what's the matter Elsa ? I though I could save you, that I could bring you joy and happiness despite my past actions, but it looks like even that doesn't work with me !" he shouted, stomping his fist on the floor, startling her. "I'm not even able to do that ! So please, tell me, what's the problem here ?" he begged, and she couldn't feel guiltier, because he had much more value than she believed she did."What's the problem...?" he cried, and the sound of her husband weeping split her heart in pieces.

  She wanted to show him sympathy, to hug him and never let go of him, to be the one who, for once, would comfort him. But instead, she withdrew her hands from his shoulders and brought them on her lap. There was a question to answer, wasn't there ?

  "I am." she naturally stated.

  "Don't you dare saying this." he snapped, immediately stopping the tears to fall. "Don't you dare thinking this." he repeated, cupping her cheeks with his hands and bringing her closer.

  Tireness could be noticed both in his voice and upon his features. And fear, too.

  "You're not the problem Hans, because no woman could ever dream of having a better husband than you, no woman could be happier than I should be, by your side, with our daughter, a loving sister and brother-in-law, and surrounded by people who have forgiven both you and I for what we've done and accepted me like I am, with my power which I have never wanted. It's the life I've always longed for, but still, I'm not satisfied, and I can't even explain why. I'm the matter in all of this bullshit." she confessed, the tears flooded back and blurred her vision again, because as much as she hated to admit that, it was nothing more or less than the truth.

  "I guess some people are quite afraid of happiness itself." he says, and she doesn't know what's the link between that statement and what she just confessed. "And the biggest life you'll ever receive comes from life, but that doesn't mean you need to jump of the cliff, nor do you have to think you're the problem." he whispered, staring straight into her bright blue eyes that reminded him how he had fallen for her until getting head over heels for her.

  But the despair that they dismayed was much more overwhelming that it had ever been before. They didn't seem to glow anymore.

  You don't have to be afraid.

  "You asked me what the problem was. It's just a mere answer, like plenty of others..." she trailed off, avoiding his gaze.

  Hans didn't know whether it was the fact that she wasn't lying about that or that she felt this desperate that pained him the most. Or if it was that he couldn't possibly help her.

  "I'm truly deeply sorry to tell you that, perhaps I shouldn't, but I want to, and may the Lords forgive me for speaking that way." he began, removing his hands from her.

  "Come to the point Hans."

  He sighed, the idea of having such selfish words making him uneasy.

  "Do you even realize how painful it is for me to see you attempting helplessly to leave this world behind, and to understand that, no matter how hard I try, my efforts to save you from whatever it is that scares the hell out of you are completely useless ?" he blurts out and instantly realizes how tactlessly he's just said that.

  In spite of this, he doesn't make any attempt to correct himself. He finally drops the subject, because yeah, she's silent again.

  "Elsa." he states firmly, "I owe you my life, do you understand that ? I owe you my life." he insisted.

  "I owe you mine too." came Elsa's soft answer, an answer he longed to hear.

  "Still I wonder what does life truly mean to you. It doesn't even seem to have as much value as it has for me." he slowly stood up, his hands wrapped around hers to help her on her feet.

  He bit his lip for what he said again and spared her a sympathetic glance, which she would have seen if she wasn't focused on brushing the dust away of her nightgown.

  "I don't know either." she reluctantly admitted.

  A few seconds passed and everything remained still, like frozen in place.

  "Death doesn't scare me, you know."

  "I beg your pardon ?" he asked, taking a hold of her wrists and pulling her toward him so that she was forced to look at him.

  She squeezed his hand slightly.

  "I've never been afraid of dying, Hans. Except that day on the North Mountain, but you already know that, you were here." she clarified, and he flinched at the mention of that pas evnet. "Anyway, I never bothered to think of death at any other moment in my life. That's what I thought would make life easier to go through."

  She couldn't tell if her sentences were making any sense. What else could seh do ? She didn't even know what was to do next.

  "I can't live fearing to die." she continued to explain when she noticed the skeptical look on his face. "If you think too much about it, it obsesses you, and you just cease to live, because it's like climbing up a cliff when you know you'll fall off at the very second you'll reach its top. It's like being already dead inside." she cleared, but her expression suddenly became darker. "I had never thought I'd get this close to death one day so soon... I mean, I didn't expect to feel this confident with it that I'd no longer care."

  "Elsa..."

  "I'm so sorry you have to hear this from my mouth." she apologizes without giving him some time to speak. "You're right." she stated with a voice that showed surrender and that wasn't meant to be discreet. "Even I can't save myself. From myself."

  "I prefer when you tell me all of this than when you keep your worries to yourself, Elsa. I think you've been alone enough for the rest of your days. And believe me, there will be plenty. We need you in our lives, just think of us, of Anna. I told her nothing all the times you tried that silly thing, but now I think she deserves to know. You should talk to her."

  "She'll hate me."

  "She can't. She'll never be able to hate you, and she already told you that plenty of times. She will always be there for the one who sacrified her freedeom for her safety during years." he reminded her, bringing her slender body in a tight embrace.

  "Tell me," she began as she nested her head in the crook of his neck, "we both matter, then ?" At least to each other's eyes. She thought but didn't say it out loud.

  He chuckled nervously.

  "I guess so, yes. Be sure you'll always be the brightest source of light that will shine in my life."

  Their lips naturally collided, because each other's support was everything that mattered right at this moment. She needed help, and only her sister could reason with her.

  (She finally knew what she had to do next.)

[lauraclc2-blog]

Long loooong time ago I saw some buttons spreading shipping peace (if you know who made them please link so I can properly credit the inspiration!!). Made this last year because I wanted to do something fun and constructive out of something so immature and dumb as shipping wars. Transparent, so you can put it your blog and spread peace.

How many of you are really able to reblog this? SHIP AND LET SHIP! ❤

[lauraclc2-blog]

Thawing The Frozen Heart - Chapter 18

It Did Happen

The door of the room she had been staying in for a few hours already creaked open. She kept staring through the window, at the sight of that place she didn't know, not bothering to look at the man who cautiously stepped inside.

"Enjoying the view, Your Majesty ?" the stranger's voice interrupted her thoughts as he locked the door behind him.

Leaving his question unanswered, she slowly turned to face him and locked her bright blue eyes with his. She instantly shivered at the sight of his uncommon light purple ones. He was wearing a white suit she was sure she had already seen one looking alike. His hands clasped behind his back, he stood straight in front of her, like some dignitary. She didn't recall him being present at her coronation, though. He seemed to be young. Much younger than her, actually.

"Who are you ?" she inquired, narrowing her eyes at him, backing up until she felt the coldness of the stone wall harshly hitting her back.

He lifted his hands before him while taking a step backward.

"We'll be causing no harm to you." he tried to reassure her, still staring at her wide sapphire blue eyes that seemed to glow in the last sun rays of the day.

"Then why the hell am I locked up here ?" she sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose and gazing back through the window. "Between us, I think I've had enough of closed doors..."

His face softened even more than he intended to let show. It was just like he could read into her like n open book, and the loneliness she suffered from was the first thing he noticed. It felt incredibly odd for him to face such a gorgeous woman, he who was still like a child compared to her.

"I'm Piedrick." he stated, finally answering the question she had asked earlier.

She kept silent, and everything remained still. Shortly afterward, another man entered the room, she could tell it as she heard the key unlocking the door again. He was holding a tray of food in one of his strong hands and he owned the same eyes as Piedrick's, a shade darker though. She caught herself wondering if they were from the same family with those signature eyes of theirs.

"You need to eat." his hoarse voice declared, holding out the plate to her. "Neither you nor I want you to die of hunger now, do we ?" he smirked before her impassive face.

"I'm not hungry." she spoke in a low, emotionless voice, but she didn't expect any of them to insist.

"Your Majesty," the young boy began as he stepped closer. "we can't explain everything to you right now but please believe us when we say we want no harm to you. Please eat this."

"We simply want you to stay away from the traitor." the other man, Thomas, as written on the pocket handkerchief her was putting back into his pocket, probably Piedrick's father, informed her. "You risk nothing with us." he said as he put the tray down on the nightstand.

"It would help us a lot if you told us what had happened to you between the moment you left Hans' hut and the moment we found you."

Her eyes widened.

"But..."

I don't remember anything !

"I... I don't know." she confessed, fidgeting with her fingers although she knew it had nothing to bother them, it was only truly bothering her. "Could—could you tell me what you know ? Please..." she asked nervously, her voice slightly trembling.

She looked away again, unable to look straight at his eyes.

The older man approached behind her and effectively silenced his son who was about to speak by waving his hand in the air in front of him.

"We are the only ones who know about Hans' hut, the one he built to retire when he couldn't deal with his brothers anymore. So when we heard of your disappearance right after his escape, of course we expected him to have taken you there. Yet we didn't want to inform the whole realm of the Southern Isles and Arendelle." he began to explain, his eyes never leaving her porcelain-like face. "We can never foresee what people might be thinking of a young monarch remaining locked up entire days with that kind of Prince." he clarified as he sat on the bed and glanced back at her bright blue eyes.

"With what kind of Prince ?" she interjected in a quite unqueenly-like manner before he could speak again.

"You don't really know him, Your Majesty. See, Hans is the kind of Prince, of man, more globally, who has an astonishing sense of persuasion. He acts like some kind of mirror that reflects who other people are, and so you may come to think he fully understands whatever you may say, knows you like he'd had met you a lifetime ago, but that still doesn't make him any less than a total stranger. But he looks like he's become incredibly close to you in a second as you thinks he's just like you are. But he's not." Thomas said, crossing his fingers on his lap.

"That doesn't answer my question." she hissed ungracefully but not caring the slightest bit.

"He uses it to get whatever he wants." the answer came as simply as she had expected it would in the first place. "And some people, especially in the Southern Isles, don't think straight when it comes to subjects like that. If you see what I mean."

"I see."

Thomas sighed and ran a hand through his mess of a mane before laying it back to its initial place.

"We departed from our kingdom right after the King and his soldiers did and immediately went to the hut. Unfortunately, we found it devoid of any form of life but Hans', and you were nowhere to be found. Hans was unconscious but we chose not to take him with us, for that we didn't want to have to look for you with him. He would've slowed us down, and we didn't want him anywhere near you. In a lack of time, we tied him up here and thought it would be better to come back later to... we didn't think of what to do with him afterward." he admitted, glancing sideways to his son. "We simply hoped nobody would find him before us, but nobody else knew about the existence of this place, so we were quite sure we would find him at the exact same spot, where we left him."

"Where is he now ? Is he still there, tied up with—" she began inquiring but was cut off by the young lad who finally decided to speak too.

"He is, You Grace. But as we found you, he won't remain there for long." he assured her before backing away in the darkness again, not to disturb the discussion anymore when he noticed the threatening glare of his father directed toward him.

Elsa dismissed the thought of him by lightly shaking her head.

"You say I was nowhere to be found. How did you manage to get to me then ?"

"We followed the footprints they had left throughout the snow. We noticed they seemed to be running first, and so were yours, so we assumed you were trying to escape from them. But didn't succeed."

She nodded at the obviousness.

"It wasn't easy, to say the least, it took us a few days to at last arrive to their house, as the snow had covered some of the prints. You were alone, unconscious, and seriously injured, as for your assailants, they had left long ago. So we brought you back there and attempted to heal some of your wounds, but it wasn't wise for we don't want people to know we actually helped you. I seems that it isn't Hans who's hurt you, the scars look recent." he stated, standing up and clasping his hands behind his back like he was used to.

"Hans hasn't hurt me." she clarified, she wouldn't let them think he had. "Now where are we ?"

"My late father's house. My niece and nephew still live here and we couldn't let them see you, that's the reason why we didn't give you a proper guest room. We don't want them to believe we are the kidnappers. Actually, we're planning to find one of the groups of soldiers that left to search for you and send you to them. We'd like to take care of Hans ourselves, and the soonest will be the best."

"What are you going to do to him ?" she snapped, a concerned look suddenly making it way across her pale features.

There was a short pause before he dared to utter an answer.

"We will make sure he won't get beaten up again.."

Her eyes widened. Beaten up ?

"And for the scars that mark your body," Piedrick cautiously began, "are you sure you don't remember anything at all ?" he asked, desperately trying to understand how she had gotten those, how those blood-thirsty men had hurt her so badly that it would be like she would collapse onto the floor if she moved too fast."

"All I know is that Hans hasn't been violent with me." she said insistently.

"We intend to rebuilt the past events to fully understand what's happened, with your permission, of course." Thomas said. "This will help up. But don't be afraid, we won't be spilling this to everyone, it is only for you we're doing this."

Before she even had the time to question herself about his motivations to do all of this for her, he spoke again.

"For the moment, we know that Hans escaped from the Southern Isles on a stolen boat and came back to Arendelle unwillingly, but he sought for his horse when he noticed where he was. He found you in the gardens and took you with him on Sitron, searching for a place to remain in, he finally brought you to his secret hut where you stayed a few days." he interrupted himself to draw in a deep breath. "Afterward, mysterious men attacked and knocked him out of consciousness, and they caught you in the snow as you had taken the opportunity to flee. The carried you to their house, but what happens next is still kept unknown from us." he summed up.

She narrowed her eyes at him and hardly pressed her lips into a thin line, like she had always been accustomed to.

"Who are you...? And why the hell are you this interested in all of this ? Doing all of this 'just for me' ?"

The two men shared a look she coudln't describe. A mix of uncertainty and... there was more than just that. A wave of void invaded her body, paralyzing her members, and her ability to think straight and properly was like taken away from her for a while. She was unsure whether to try to flee again or trust those men she had never met before. She quickly recomposed herself when they glanced back at her.

"We're King Elias' personal advisers. I'm Thomas and her's my son, Piedrick, but I believe you already knew that."he presented themselves, gesturing to his son.

Yet something was missing. It didn't make any sense. To other people, perhaps it would have, but not to her.

"Ready to trust us now, Your Grace ?"

I don't think so...

Why would they be so interested in sending her back this fast ? Why were they doing all of this without wanting anything in return ?They didn't even seem to be aware of her powers. They were obviously hiding something, and whatever it was, she would find out sooner or later. She would investigate. But for the moment, nothing truly mattered unless they'd plan not to follow that plan of theirs. She would go back home and think of all of this nonsense after a long night of sleep.

"Your Majesty ?"

Piedrick laid a hand over her shoulder and it caused her to immediately step back, her hands clutched to her chest as usual.

"I'm sorry." the lad muttered, his hand still hovering in the air, slowly brought back at its place at his side. "I didn't mean to startle you, you just looked... lost." he hesitated as he locked eyes with her.

Albeit she was desperately - too desperately, maybe - trying to conceal her fear, it was all he could see. It was blinding.

"We won't hurt you, you know." he attempted to reassure her the best his abilities with women could, but that quite didn't work.

She wouldn't trust them. Under different circumstances, perhaps she would have, but she just couldn't. She had ended up in their house without truly knowing how, their words being the only memories she could gather from the past few days. She couldn't give them her trust like you spare a smile to a peasant that salutes you in town. It's not that simple.

The loud thud of the closing door was heard. She wouldn't speak, too. She hadn't in her habits to open up, let alone to strangers. They might have understood that and left, choosing to give her some space. And that she was glad for.

Elsa's gaze went back to the window for the nth time that day. And odd thing that was bothering her and that shoudln't be was Hans. What if he was found by the King who'd choose to execute him for attempting murder over two royals plus kidnapping her ? Would he ask her then ?

Death.

That was something ever-so-complicated to understand, no matter the form it took. Murder, suicide, illness, accident... That didn't make any noticeable difference. Little did people know about it, apart that it literally meant your life on earth ends.

You know Elsa, I believe death is just like when you sleep. Everything's empty, you don't even notice you're doing it. The difference is that you never wake up afterward. ❄

Her dear little sister's words played in her mind, unceasingly torturing her. She had never been able to bring herself to think the same. Everything would be so much easier if she couldn't think so. If dying was this peaceful, then she couldn't even dare to say it would bother her.

I don't agree. I prefer to think we don't only live once like they want to make us believe. I'm sure we have plenty of lives, but we just don't remember any of our previous ones. ❄ Wouldn't you like to think you were Joan of Arc, somedayin the past ?

Little did shetruly know about that. Death was a shelter for plenty of tortured souls who wanted a break with life but realized too late there was no turning back. She was one to realize it. Before it actuallywas too late for her. And she would be the only one to ever be aware of that dreadful way she was the only one to remember. That was so until somebody would one say accept to share all her secrets, from the brightest to the darkest of them all.

Who would want to share their world with a woman that feels like solid ice ?

That small talk with herself, if she could call it so, left her as empty as if she had been throwing up for hours. She blinked a few times and realized she was all alone again. Again.

They had all returned to their occupations somewhere else ; she didn't even know how long she had been thinking for, forgetting the whole world around, as it often happened to her when she couldn't busy her mind with happy memories.

The room was colder - of course it was ! - than before, which meant that they had been gone for long ago already.

Gone.

Like everyone else here in this dreaded world that seemed to want to imprison her at any cost.

With a flicker of her hand, she created a few glowing snowflakes that burst out from her palm reverberating though her fingertips before leaving her organism forever under a shape of a snow-like pattern she already knew how to perfectly make.

Your power has great beauty...

Too bad it isn't useful for something more, let's say.... exciting, if I dare to speak so.

No. Not her.

She couldn't think of anything more for a few seconds.

Long time no see ! Missed me, haven't you ?

She rolled her eyes to the sky, like to cathc the attention of a lost god who couldn't notice her despair and help her go fight against somebody who was nothing more than herself.

You're creepy.

We look alike.

... Crap.

Yeah, talking with herself was les intellectual than her whole réflexion about death and ogs forme.

What ?

If their plan was réal, she couldn't wait for them to come back and let her go to the Kingdom and his troups. Even though it couldn't get her rid of Evelsa, she could still ry, and she would at last be home.

I'm only you, remember ?

Her whole body tensed up and instantly caused the température to deasticqlly drop and made the room grow incredibly colder all of a sudden, and she caught herself wondering if it was coming from her and some kind of mixed emotions and feeling she couldn't control.

And there I believed the cold never bothered you, anyway.

Then she relaxed.

It doesn't bother me at all.

The door flung open and startled her, interrupting roughly her conversation. Thomas burst inside, a grin lighting up his tirer features.

"We've found them, Your Grace. Now we can let you run to them, it's time."

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cold As Ice - 6.

Incredibly High-Leveled Stupid Decision

"You... what ?" she angrily yells at him, hands balled into fists at her side.

"Elsa..." he groans, exasperated.

"No no no no, don't say anything !" she commands as she lifts her hands up before her. "So, if I've understood correctly what you just told me, you've put the both of us into great trouble ! What the hell crossed your mind when you decided to take me away !?"

"You were going to get married against your will !" he snaps without even thinking, instantly standing up.

"And I still am !"

This shuts him up. He stares at her, mouth agape. He slowly clenches his jaw, realizing what has just been said.

"What about the 'you can't marry a man you just met' thing ? he hisses trough gritted teeth while he threateningly leans in closer.

"That's none of your concern !" she replies, just like she always does when she wants to avoid a topic. "I was also going to get killed against my will if my sister hadn't appeared out of nowhere to stand between you and I !"

His eyes widen even more than he had though was possible, but he managed - God only knows how - to keep his jaw clenched.

"You didn't say that." he states, unable to believe the words that has reached his ears, seconds ago.

His knuckles have turned white, but he doesn't pay attention to them. Elsa smirks, and it feels kind of odd to see that on her usually placid face. He's rather accustomed to be the one who smirks at others, but this catches him off guard as the words sink in.

"I did." she proudly declares, it doesn't sound like she's is the one who's speaking right now.

"You perfectly know that I regret all that I did back then. You didn't need to remind me of that." he spits, his eyes are now staring at the ring he wants to throw away from her finger so badly.

"Yes, I do. But it's not helping me to forget that day. It's chained to me till the end of times. I can't ever forget it." she seriously answers, frowning.

He sighs.

"I simply wanted you not to waste a life I've almost taken away and that has been spared thanks to your sister." he mumbled, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants, completely unaware of the tone full of what they call sadness he's using.

He can't get too personal. She's the Queen. A Queen he attempted to murder.

"I'm taking you back. I guess we'll just have to say we went on a ride for the day." he gives up, turning back and marching to his horse.

"I didn't say I wanted to, though." she calls after him, her voice seems to be more relaxed that it first was. "But I have to. That's a completely different thing. I'm already feeling remorseful for fleeing from the realm, my realm, just like that." she confesses, and his expression changes.

She has opened up to him, and even if it's almost nothing, it isn't. It isn't nothing because she's talking to him about something that is none of his concern, anyway. Things like that mean the world, especially to him, when it comes from her.

He can't mess it up again. If she hadn't accepted him to stay in Arendelle, he would've got mercilessly killed by his brothers back home. She's given him a second chance, he's aware of that. He can never repay her for this, so at least he can keep what she's revealing to him to himself and not betray her, for once. Keep his mouth shut to prove he can be trusted to.

"I overreacted, you know."

"I did exactly the same, but I was panicked." he admits, memories of her lying under the snow flooding through his mind. "Thinking that something could be happening to you made me sickeningly worried."

"Let's go back home. We'll discuss of that during the travel. We wasted enough time."

He smiles.

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cause I want you to stay

A/N: I watched Before Sunrise again today and this was just begging to be written. Apologies in advance.

 (Title from The Smashing Pumpkins’ In The Arms of Sleep. Apologies yet again.)

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cold As Ice - 5. Going Back In Time

He's found her. At last. She's lying under a thin layer of frosted snow.

 "Elsa..." he breathes, rushing toward her as fast as his legs can take him.

 In a matter of a few seconds, he's kneeling beside her, his whole body weak from the long distance he's covered to find her. He slowly brushes the snow away from her tiny frame. He gently approaches his bare hands of her face, both having taken a light shade of blue from the striking cold out there. Yet he is reluctant to touch her, even if he cannot see what harm he could cause. He finally brings his  fingers behind her neck, cupping her ear, and slowly lifts her up as he leans closer. He stops when he's hovering over her mere centimeters away and sighs in relief when he feels her breath on the skin of his cheek. Two of his fingers press right under her jawline, and he can't repress the bliss that invades him when he catches her pulse.

 She's alive.

He could remain staying her forever in her company, alone in the snow, but he's well aware he has to bring her back to the realm she has to run everyday. She's not a mere woman of the village, no. She's a young monarch who has more duties he will ever have. She's a Queen.

 Moreover, his reputation in Arendelle is bad enough, he doesn't need people suspecting him to have kidnapped their Queen or run away with her. And he deosn't want them to believe their ruler has fled again. And what for ?

 No, the people would throw him away from the kingdom and forbid him to approach the two sisters ever again, slaughter him had he been even returning. And her to-be-husband, of all people ! He would obviously kill him.

 He shakes his head to dismiss the thought of him being accused of something he - for once - hasn't done.

 He cautiously lays her head over his shoulder and pulls her in closer to him, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Placing one hand around her shoulders and the other under her knees, he hesitates to lift her up, afraid of somehow hurting her again. Yet he knows he cannot stay here forever, so he finally lifts her in his arms, keeping her upper body on check.

 "Sitron !" the silent void his brain has been stuck in is now broken by the the hoarse sound of his voice, just like the silence. "Come here buddy !" he calls into the growing blizzard.

 Is she causing this ?

 He doesn't even have to wait before he's able to hear his faithful friend arrive. Neighing joyfully, he rubbed his head against Hans' shirt, gently shoving him forward.

 "Yeah, good boy Sitron... uh..." he stuttered, trying his best not to lose his balance.

 Elsa wouldn't be fond of ending up her nose buried in the snow again...

 Supporting her the best he can, he manages to mount on his horse, sitting her delicately onto his lap.

 He's already seen that before.

   "Prince Hans ! Are you certain you really want to do this ?"

 "I said no harm was to be done to her, and I thought I was clear !" he yells at the man, his gaze threatening. "It seems I wasn't..." he mutters, calmer.

 Both of the Duke of Weselton's men look down, surely cursing themselves for their foolishness.

 Hans' gaze softens when he looks down at the frail woman sitting on his lap. He can't come to recall having ever seen anything more beautiful than her one day in his life. Perhaps it is because she's the most graceful and gorgeous thing he's ever got the chance to lay his eyes on.

 "They wanted to kill you, dear Elsa..." he whispers into her ear, taking care not to let anyone hear this.

 It could bring him onto trouble. And he doesn't need that.

 She's not dead. That's what's relieving.

 "Faster, Sitron." he orders, gently kicking his companion's sides when the castle finally comes in sight. "We're almost there." he mumbles, sparing a last glance at the woman he's just saved the life of.

   She still looks as gorgeous as she had on this day, when he's carried her back to Arendelle, months ago. Yet something is different. That ring, it's like it has changed her whole appearance, albeit it's mostly hidden all the time by the gloves she used to wear when feeling insecure. Now nothing's the same, he can feel his grasp on her loosening and she's getting out of reach forever, although he's never held her this close, because she's nobody's but herself's. And soon to be Prince Navi's. It disgusts him.

 That ring has nothing to do around her finger.

 He frowns.

 How long has she known him for ? he questions the heavens seeking for an answer. I though she was no woman to marry somebody she just - or didn't - met.

 Silence.

 Of course nobody here would reply.

 It means—

 An arrow shot righ to his chest would have the same effect. His gaze falls on her again, this so innocent yet so intelligent creature.

 What have I done ?

 As his horse keeps a slow pace, his fingers leave the riens to come to brush her cheek. The cold is striking.

 He's never despised royalty and their stupid rules this much in his life. Not even when they decided so harshly of his fate. 

 Is it such a terrible fate ? To be stuck in the Snow Queen's palace ? He can't even tell now. But her fate...

 "What do you think of this, Sitron ?" he questions the one who's always replaced all the human friends he could've had during his childhood. " Should we really go back ?"

[lauraclc2-blog]

Cold As Ice - 4.

Strangers

"I brought you some decent food." he hears a disembodied yet smooth voice and lifts his gaze over to look at her.

 He perfectly knows whose voice it is.

 "You didn't have to, Queen Elsa." he politely declines, but reconsiders his answer when he notices the disappointed look that creeps on her face. "Thank you."

 She slowly approaches him, holding out the tray for him to take it, and so he does. She folds her hands behind her back as he begins to eat, standing straight like the young Queen she is.

 The proud Queen they want her to be. he corrects his own mind, seeing clearly what emotions lay behind the ice sculpture she could be compared to.

 He can still see the broken woman who had to run away from her own kingdom on her coronation day. The one who has lived apart from the outside world her whole life but who yet knows so much about it. It feels kinda odd. Odd to know that somebody who's remained locked up for years understands the real world better than you do, when you are the one who has lived in it from the day of your birth. Odd to know that, after all, being torn apart of your loved ones because you've been cursed by nobody-knows-who is part of this real world.

 He can feel her gaze on him while he finishes eating the local food he couldn't put a name on, it makes him uneasy. He takes a sip of his glass of fresh water before entirely drinking it. Clumsily, he hands her the tray back, failing dropping the goblet onto the ground. An awkward silence takes its place between them, and it appears to feel somehow strange for him, albeit he knows he has nothing to do with her, because she's a regnant Queen, and what is he more than a traitor imprisoned in her own kingdom ? Everybody knows he's a defeated prince who's almost murdered the Snow Queen altogether. And her sister. But yet why can't he pull her away from his mind ? Why is she always torturing him inside ? Her perfect face, her body, her lips that undeniably seem to be so tender, and her beauty !

 This is worse than torture itself... he frowns, desperately trying to erase his forever inappropriate notions, his darkest thoughts and desire, still about the same woman whom he cannot bring himself to cease thinking of.

 He decides to break the silence instead.

 "Why Sunflower ?" he blurts out, glancing up into her sapphire eyes.

 "Pardon me ?"

 She spares him a confused look, tightening her grip on the tray she's almost forgotten she is still holding. Now, she looks even more beautif—

 No.

 "Your horse." he continues, shaking his head slightly to chase away the thought. "Why did you call her that ?" he corrects, coming to his feet to stand in front of her, arms crossed over his chest.

 A sigh escapes her lips, her boredom clearly noticeable.

 "She's named after my cousin." she states flatly, staring into the full emptiness of the room, just as she' accustomed to.

 "Oh. that's kind of a strange name..." he wonders, thinking out loud and frowning slightly. "Did her parents truly call—" he begins innocently before the ice cold voice of the Queen cuts him off, leaving a small cloud in front of her mouth due to the coldness that's emanating from her, filling the cell.

 "No, of course not, but it's still related to her. And that closes the subject, I don't believe there's anything more you need to be aware of." she answers dryly, eyes still locked with his.

 He takes a step back, wondering what's making her this upset, but still he doesn't understand at all.

 You know nothing about her, silly ! he scolds himself, lifting his hands up in front of his face.

 "Um, okay, that's fine..." he stutters, trying to find proper words to say not to be the one to be at a loss for words.

 Truth is that there's nothing to say. What are they but strangers whose destiny once crossed eachother's ? None of them knows whether their ways will separate soon or remain related forever. Fate will be the only one to tell them.

 She doesn't respond. But he can swear he's caught sight of a tear dropping from her eye and rolling down her cheek.

 They're not close - both physically and emotionally - enough for him to ask what's bothering her. She might be facing some troubles with her personal life, perhaps with Anna, or with her Queenly stuff. Or maybe it was about that mysterious cousin of her. Albeit he's internally burning of desire to question her about it, he feels like not mentioning it would be wiser. It would be just wise.

 He would've never thought her life could interest him so much one day. Now, however, it seems so obvious that something's playing on her mind that his envy to know about it is becoming uncontrollable. And he's going to find out. He's determined to find out, even it this decision reached an incredibly high level of stupidity. It is, because he perfectly knows how she might react to that. She will shove him away, exasperated, pin him against the wall, kiss him passionate—NO, yell at him not to put his nose in her stuff, because it's none of his concern - and it would be no matter of ending up his nose buried into a thick layer of snow this time❄ - and she might also freeze him to death - if she's really angry - and why not put him as a welcoming statue and an advertisement to traitors in the palace courtyard ? Okay, maybe not. She's not that cold hearted, she wouldn't go this far, would she ?

 She wouldn't. he tries to persuade himself that, no, she isn't that cold hearted.

 His gaze slowly drops to look at her jawline, her neck - perfect -, her throat, her—a place that's not proper for his eyes - nor is it for anyone else's - to stare at. Fortunately for his own safety, she doesn't notice. At least he believes so. Then his gaze falls upon her left hand, where proudly lies - he gasps - an engagement ring he hadn't noticed was there yet.

 Engaged ? To whom ?

 A flurry of questions invades his mind and it sorta cuts him away from the outside world for a while. His head's underwater and his soul starts to drown as the poisoning reality weights far too heavy for him to support.

 Engaged ?!

 And it shouldn't bother him. At all. Yet it does.

 "Hey !" she snaps her fingers a few centimeters away from his face, pulling him back to the place where he currently is, and he hasn't even noticed she had come so close. "When will you learn to listen to the few people who actually accept to talk with you ?" he voice rings in his ears like the bells of the chapel he used to go on every Sunday.

 Threatening.

 You'll end up in hell if you don't believe God always keeps a watchful eye on you, my dear. his mother's smooth voice used to say to dissuade him from avoiding mass. And the bells sang the same lyrics, the same threatening words everybody used to throw at him.

 But her voice is melodious, whatever she says and no matter how she does say it, unlike his mother's.

 "I...." he carefully searches for words, again, but it seems she's not agreeing with him to let him do so.

 "What's that face ?" she playfully asks, stifling a giggle and blurting out the words like it's food that's no more consumable while he's so badly looking for what he could reply to her first question he doesn't want to leave unanswered.

 "Uh, what face, that face ? It's hum... the one I always wear, I mean, it's... my face" he answers, slightly confused, irritated but stuttering, as always.

 He can feel the heat coming up to his freckled cheeks, and yeah, it's embarrassing.

 "Well then," she begins, a smirk he thought was his creeping on her lips. "Change it, honestly. It's frightening, and I'm serious, wearing a face like yours shouldn't be allowed." she snaps, her bright mesmerizing eyes staring right into his, still smirking deviously.

 Yes, she looks content of herself.

 "Well, go tell this to my parents." he snaps back, proud of him for defying what was the initial goal to her reply - having the last word of their argument, of course -, but internally deciding that he won't go further with this conversation.

 Instead, he thinks it's better to just take his courage in both hands and jump.

 "You're engaged."

 Her hypnotizing eyes widen at those words he believe she didn't contemplate he would be saying. He has noticed.

 Crap.

 It's just like she doesn't dare sparing a glance at her hand, like she simply fears breaking eye contact with him. Perhaps she thinks he'll jump on her if she deosn't look at him directly in the eyes. What more than a threat to anything that has ever moved has he always been ?

 It's not natural, the way her wide blue eyes stare, her lips slightly parted, like she was about to burst into tears. It's a mix of pain and... something like deep sadness. It's odd, someone who's just engaged should be happy. Like Anna. She should be gullible, giggling all day for everything and nothing, but no. She's nothing similar to this.

 In a second, and he doesn't know how long she's been staring, she straightens herself and clears her throat.

 "Yes, I am."

 The answer comes as simply as his statement has.

 "To whom ?"

 He spoke too fast, it almost feels desperate.

 "That's none of your concern" she spits yet remains clam, narrowing her eyes at him, and it hits him like pure venom.

 Here comes this answer, the eternal perfect 'avoiding thing'. Of course it's none of his concern. And she clearly looks like a snake when she's like this, on the defensive. He isn't surprised no to have received any name. He shouldn't even have asked. But he will find out. Because she's not happy. And he wants to see her happy even if he's never done anything to help, because he has never been, and he doesn't want her to live the same life the both of them have lived forever.

 Here comes the incredibly high-leveled stupid decision. He still doesn't understand himself.

 "Whom are you getting married to ?" he repeats, louder this time as he steps closer to end up mere centimeters away from her tiny body.

 "Prince Naavi from Iolin." she finally answers after a few seconds of deep silence. He frowns. She smirks, yes, but it still feels strange. It's fake, it's not something to laugh about.

 "Iolin," he scoffs, feeling something deep inside he couldn't describe. "What's even that ?" he groans, and he didn't expect her to hear it.

 "Oh, would you happen to be jealous ?" she playfully inquires, wearing a victorious grin upon her features.

 Yet it hides so much pain beneath.

 Perhaps it is this, jealousy. He's never felt anything like this before.

 "Jealous of a stranger, for a stranger. How ironic." she teases again and it only makes his frown deepen.

 Yes, he is, and what ?

 "And by the way, Iolin is a small kingdom, really beautiful and warm, far south west."  she declares as her back hits the wall.

 "Well then..." he begins, mysterious. "There's something I need to do before you get married to this Prince Naavi." he states, taking a last step forward and pinning her forcefully against the wall behind her, his hands wrapped around her wrists.

 Without giving her some time to protest, he leans in and crushes his lips on hers, kissing her fiercely, hungrily like a savage beast savouring its prey. When she gasps in surprise and tries to catch her breath, he slips his tongue into her mouth, pressing his muscular body further against her.

 The taste... he focuses on her, wondering how he's managed to hold back the urge to do this for such a long time.

 He had to remind himself to let go of her when he was full of her scent, of the taste of her whole mouth, her lips, her tongue, and when he notices that the both of them are completely out of breath.

 Now she's staring at him, her eyes filled with icy tears reflecting her incomprehension. She might also have noticed the lust in his gaze, slowly replaced by sudden realization.

 Slowly shaking her head, she narrows her eyes at him and runs past him, forgetting to close the wooden door behind.

 He stands still, letting his darkest and most lustful desires overwhelm him, knowing that those are meant never to be fulfilled