jeff-the-gnome-king

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

imagine fiddleford having to deal with this set of extremely grumpy and loud twins for a whole year. free him

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

Rest

Some fluff with sleepy Stans for @mistrel-fox and all you good people out there who like fluff :D

DA Version

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

There’s so much to unpack here:

Pack of Beakers

Goth Beaker

The Beaker snitching and pointing out the photographer

The Beaker that’s about to unload on the photographer

The terminator strut before the ass whooping and you know he’s moving at speed because of the blur

The ominous feeling that you know this is 3 in the morning

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

~ via mignonettetakespictures ~

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

Fucking slain in my tracks by this postcard on my friend’s dresser

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Tea set

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

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Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

Each state is drawn with a continuous line

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

With the power of adhd you can do two halves of different chores and then sit down again instead of finishing either 👍

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

Great Mouse Detective version of Dracula happening simultaneously as the events of Dracula, so there’s just five mice in Victorian clothes unnoticed by the human cast desperately trying to kill a bat.

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

[jeff-the-gnome-king]

i can’t believe i fell for it