jason-todds-coffin

[jason-todds-coffin]

I need a very specific fic, where Batfam is met by some kind of Goddess of Misery that keeps making others go through *something*, but once she is faced with Jason, she just... shrugs. She can't do more. He has already gone through all of it. His heart is full of pain. There is nothing more for him left for her to offer. The best she could do to is to offer her pity. Jason laughs until there are tears in the corners of his eyes. He wonders if it is ever going to stop.

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batman…..

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prompt from twt!!<33

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I'm always on my Bruce acted like Damian when younger shit, but I'm also on my Oliver was eerily similar to Cass when young bullshit

Look, that man might have been stranded on an island for a year(s) but no other person would get into that situation and decide that the most reasonable choice was to dismantle the drug ring on the island with nothing but a bow and barely any training.

So I like to think that Ollie was always a little fucked, just uncomfortably wrong in a way that most people wouldn't understand. that actually being why Bruce likes him when they first meet.

Him being unnaturally quiet, not when speaking of course, it's Oliver Queen, no one can get him to be quiet when speaking unless he wanted to, but quiet in the way of being able to sneak up on people without even trying. Just appearing in a room and scaring everybody, even when someone is keeping an eye on him, he'll inevitably slip away and reappear a few hours later in a place that he's not supposed to be.

when Bruce and Ollie first met, Bruce liked him because he kinda scared the shit out of him, there was a look to him that just set off of the warning signs in Bruce's head and of course that means that he needed to friends with Ollie immediately.

And later, when Bruce's mouth inevitably got him into trouble, he never had to worry about what would happen after he won because Oliver would always jump in first. people learned very quickly that you can't fuck with one of them without the other being there too.

in the first few months of Oliver being the GA, Batman comes to Starling for something and tries to slip away after being spotted, but Oliver is able to hunt him through the city. No matter what Bruce tries, GA is always two steps behind and getting closer. finally Bruce is able to lose him at the edge of town (Oliver doesn't lose him, he just knows that Batman is leaving and sees no reason to keep going after him) and decides right then that the Green Arrow is never allowed within Gotham, that no other vigilante is allowed in Gotham.

Years down the line, after the JL is up and both of them are in it, Bruce questions whether he should tell Ollie that he's the Bat, but Oliver already knows, has know since the first time that they fought side by side, because no one has fit so perfectly beside him since those days in school. the days that he was the blinding sunlight in front, the fist that everyone paid attention to, so no one noticed the dark shape in the shadows Oliver had cast, the knife that you didn't even realizes was there until it was being pulled out of your ribs. of course Oliver knew that Bruce was Batman, he would have shot him with an arrow on that first mission if he hadn't.

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Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately. Dick, confused: Huh? Why? Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point? Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him... Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going? Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen? Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays. Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks. Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad! Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Koran

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the family find out Jason is alive before he has the chance to come to Gotham as Red Hood because at 4am while searching for some random background videos to play while he worked, Tim stumbles upon the youtube channel that Jason’s been uploading survival videos to throughout his training at the LOA

Tim, not paying attention to the TV as he taps at his laptop:

the TV, autoplay enabled: “-part 2 of how to escape an old desert city, now I’ve been here for like two weeks but I got these magic swords now which is cool-“

Tim, slowly glancing at the screen and freezing:

“-also wanna say shout out to my little brother Damian, who demanded i put him in a video, so there we go, and also thanks to the commenter who pointed out in part 1 that around the ten minute mark there was some shadowy shape watching me in the distance, you were totally right and i took care of that fucker-“

Tim:

Tim: bRUCE-

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there is a voice inside my head that whispers “wing au” every time i join a new fandom. it is currently winning.

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Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.

Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.

Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?

Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.

Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*

Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?

Dick: Ja??

Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”

*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*

—

Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.

Dick: ??

Damian:

Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.

Dick: oh okay- wait. What?

—

Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*

Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?

Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-

Bruce: *eyebrow raise*

Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*

—

Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.

Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: what-

Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.

Bruce, concerned: what???

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I hate them

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So mad at how long this took

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An unstoppable team-up

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headcanon that Alfred is the only one who ever filed taxes when Jason was Robin, and during that period Jason was so attached to Alfred’s hip (because Alfred felt like a safer presence after being on the street) that he, at 13 years old, learned how to file taxes. Then, when he comes back from the LOA, he takes over that duty from Alfred (because he sees how Alfie’s hates it).

Tim is under the impression he has successfully become a tax evader. In reality , Jason just does it for him.

Dick hates doing his taxes with a burning passion. He attempts to pay Jason to do it, so Jason acts like “hmmm, I don’t know, man.. .” Until he has Dick begging at his feet, then he does it

Bruce has failed to win a single argument against Jason in the past year, because Jason ends every single one by saying, “you ain’t even adult enough to do your own taxes, dad.”

Jason and Alfred are the only REAL tax evaders, and that is because to the government, they still very much do not exist. And it will stay that way.

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a severely underrated and underused pre-reveal-Red-Hood-plot is the one where Dick finds out that he’s Jason first, and out of desperation to make up for past failings at being a big brother and wanting to reconnect with Jason, he decides to keep it from the rest of the family and use it as a way for them to bond. clearly this could be funny for like a thousand different reasons, but the first way this could turn out that i can think of is obviously Bruce watching Nightwing and Red Hood getting closer and closer and instead of automatically coming to the realisation that it’s Dick getting to know and hanging out with his little brother, he immediately assumes that Nightwing and Red Hood are dating.

i’m torn between Jason finding this hysterical while Dick is horrified about it (Jason doesn’t have to deal with the sexual jokes from the family and talks about safety within villain/hero relationships) and both of them deciding it’s a prime opportunity to pull the greatest prank on Bruce possible (both of them leaning into the relationship thing publicly and then Jason casually taking off his helmet to give Dick a cheek-kiss and Bruce a fucking heart attack), but mostly i just think it would be funny if Dick got stressed about his web of lies and decided to rant to a friend, idk who probably Wally, and he gets to have this conversation:

Dick, pacing back and forth: i don’t know what to do, i mean my dad thinks i’m fucking my brother!

Wally, incredulous: …what the fuck did you do to make Bruce think you’re fucking Tim???

Dick, horrified: OH MY GOD NO? I MEANT JASON!

Wally: HE THINKS YOU’RE FUCKING A CORPSE!?

Dick: OK NO- I SHOULD HAVE EXPLAINED BETTER WAIT A SECOND-

Wally: *distressed noises*

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i like the idea that red hood is to crime alley what daredevil is to hell's kitchen in the dd comics. in the way that:

Jason: *in full red hood gear, walking through an alley* homeless man next to him: hey, todd. how's patrol? jason: *grinning under his helmet* i don't know if you need new glasses---or maybe a memory boost, jimmy---but the todd kid is dead. i, obviously, am not. homeless man: *snickers* yeah sure, sure, jason

Jason: *walking down the street in civvies* passerby: hey! hood! i have some info for you, drug deal goin' on 'round the docks jason: *raises brow* yeah? well, i ain't hood . . . but i'll take that info to him if ya want. he patrols near my apartment passerby: you keep tellin' yourself that, dude

batman: have you seen the criminal Red Hood? crime alley resident: *lighting a cigarette, making continual eye contact with batman* I'm blind. haven't seen anyone batman: *examines the woman* obviously not. you can see me just fine crime alley resident: ya ain't ever heard of selective vision impairment? it's totally a thing batman:

little girl: hey, hood. th' cops were lookin' fer ya jason: hmm. what did ya tell 'em? little girl: t' stick it where th' sun don't shine jason: *high-fives her* i'm going to buy you an entire toy store, kid

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after Jason reveals his identity as the Red Hood i like to think about the kids begging for Jason to hang out with them and rejoin the family and that but Jason’s being a little bitch about it so when Dick asks for his phone number he just throws an ouija board at him and says ‘i’ll sense it’

issue is that while slightly drunk and sad that his brother hates him, Dick decided to try it out, and Damian watching him through a crack in the door thought it would be funny to text Jason (because he actually does have his league bro’s number) about it so that Jason could maybe mention it the next time they see each other on patrol to freak Dick out, except Jason was working not too far from the manor at the time and he thought it would be even funnier to swing by, slam up against the window and scream through the glass ‘STOP FUCKING DRUNK TEXTING ME’ and absolutely scares the shit out of Dick. so now Dick thinks that ouija boards actually work on Jason because he’s still part ghost and Jason and Damian are scrambling to try and keep up the ruse because of how funny it is.

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the sillies

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Fanon: Cass loves all her brothers equally even she calls them "little brother" 💕

Canon:

Cass with Dick 🤨:

Cass with Jason 💀:

Cass with Tim 🥰:

Cass with Duke 🥰:

Cass with Damian 😠:

She is not subtle and I love it 😆