jackandjanetdefender

[jackandjanetdefender]

I’m glad DC won’t let Tim grow up. He would be such a different character with a fully developed frontal lobe

Don't worry, even if he grows older our dear friend Multiple Concussions and their buddy TBI will keep his frontal lobe nicey and squishy. Couldn't have our boy gaining better reasoning, he'd be far too powerful!

[jackandjanetdefender]

A guide to shipping:

Is it compelling?

Is it funny?

Is it tragic?

Is it messy?

Do you like it?

If the answer is yes to any of these, go forth and have fun.

[jackandjanetdefender]

Stumbled on a rare timkon fic where tha author actually knew comic lore and had tons of Superfam characters show up and be mentioned. It was like seeing the sun after years of darkness. I have eaten well.

[jackandjanetdefender]

Tim during brucequest: I am utterly alone and in my angsty era! No more friends or allies for me >:(

Ra's: hey

Pru, Owens, and Z: sup

Tam: hi

Tim: *sigh* can't a guy be a moody loner in peace these days?

[jackandjanetdefender]

Jack wakes up from his coma and his wife is dead, business is in freefall, and his legs not working. It feels like his entire life has been erased.

He's moving into the townhome with Tim, the Waynes offering to help. Jack tries not to mind their presence, but it's hard (they knew him from before).

Then Dick says something and nudges Tim, and for the first time since waking up Jack hears his son laugh.

He sounds just like Janet.

[jackandjanetdefender]

If it had been titled literally anything else, I would not have the beef with it that I do.

But yes, SERIOUSLY. If they want a Dick Grayson cartoon, make it Titans or Outlaws! Gaaaaah

I will forever be angry at that Young Justice show. Mainly because they had rights to ALL the Young Justice members but decided to do a strange take on the titans. Young Justice 1998 was MADE to be animated and they could have very much done it but chose not to.

[jackandjanetdefender]

He forged that family with his own two hands! If his lack of boundaries and little brother energy hadn't captivated the hearts of the Gotham vigilante scene, we wouldn't have the wonderfully dysfunctional batclan of today.

oh nothing just thinking about how without tim there wouldn't ever be a batfamily and how no one appreciates him enough

[jackandjanetdefender]

Janet adores her baby. Unfortunately, Tim is too small to take on her adventures (Jack insists she can't use him as a scout to explore caved in ruins since Tim is only barely starting to crawl) so she has to wait until he's older before she can take him on her off the grid travels.

Janet tries to sneak a visit to a newly discovered pryamid into the itinerary when Tim is three, and Jack has to make a new rule: no Tims on any trips until Janet stops taking him away from civilization ("it isn't safe, Jan, he has the survival instincts of a lemming!").

Tim grows up stuck in Gotham with nannies, fuming because he wants to go on adventures. Meanwhile, Jack is the only line of defense from his wife turning their son into an Intrepid Explorer(tm).

[jackandjanetdefender]

Fanon Tim: I'm better at hacking than Oracle, have the self-esteem of a terminally ill possum, and have 10,000 perfect contingencies mapped out for every event.

Canon Tim: I wonder what will happen if I add rockets to my skateboard. Also I am failing world history.

[jackandjanetdefender]

I've had Cool Patrol by Ninja Sex Party in my head all day, and nobody can convince me it isn't a perfect song for YJ.

[jackandjanetdefender]

In my heart I believe Tim could give Dick a run for his money with gambling because he just has the most dead-eyed expressionless poker face and it's kind of unnerving

Tim is who you expect to watch out for in a Poker game. He's got the cold, controlled analytical mind of someone who's counted every card in the deck.

However I think Dick is actually the one to fear. Bro can finesse the table with his charisma so well they don't even know they're wrapped around his finger.

If they play together, their opponents spend the whole game fighting Tim directly, only to lose their money to Dick.

(Tim and Dick were working together the whole time and naturally split the pot.)

[jackandjanetdefender]

Dick pretends his favorite game is Twister so that it's easier to catch people offguard when they try to cheat him out of his inheritance during "friendly" gambling tournaments.

Dick *a mathlete and expert strategist*: you want to play Blackjack? Poker? Hearts? I dunno, they seem pretty hard, but I guess I can try it out for fun.

His opponent two rounds later: if I lose anything else to this himbo I'll have to sell a kidney

[jackandjanetdefender]

Dick (12): he bit me! I'm going to be a radio-active crocodile man now, and crocodiles can't do backflips so my life is OVER!

Bruce *mentally constructing a 7-line subway system*: it's okay, chum, we'll have the last hurrah.

Bruce built Gotham's subway system not out of philanthropy or whatever but because Killer Croc slightly inconvenienced one of his kids and Bruce is a petty PTA parent

[jackandjanetdefender]

I need John Constantine to bring the Drakes back to life because long ago (maybe like... ten-ish years back?) they made a deal when they met during the Drakes backpacking through Europe that if either of them died and the other didn't get a hot, sexy new thing within two years or died before they could, Constantine would have to revive them both.

This goes as well as you can expect.

They do both get a hot, sexy new thing after returning to life. Aka, they join Talia al Ghul's harem with Lady Shiva. Life is great, but they're probably forgetting something (their kid)... eh, probably not important.

This is exactly the kind of deal the Drakes would make. 😂 To death till they part, then Constantine gets dibs.

Too bad they died together in this AU, so when John brought them back to life the deal was null and void. The Drakes wander off as soon as he's distracted, hook up with a hot assassin, and seduce lady Shiva. Poor John can swing by for a hookup, but missed out on being part of the harem (Talia says he doesn't shower enough to join). All that work to revive the Drakes, wasted!

[jackandjanetdefender]

Tim doesn't see the problem because Jack and Janet were 100000x worse, and Bruce remembers that every time he sees Tim shmoozin and cruisin around a gala.

Bruce gets vertigo seeing Tim make the rounds. It's like Jack and Janet are haunting the narrative via questionable flirting with the wrong people.

Bruce: Son, I will never judge your preferences, but please do not flirt with known criminals.

Tim: That sounds like you're judging my preferences, actually.

Bruce: Please, Tim.

Tim: No. I'm going to flirt with them even harder.

The real reason the rest of the batkids hate going to galas is because they have to watch Tim schmooze everything that moves.

[jackandjanetdefender]

The only thing missing from his outfit is a massive hot pink feather boa for him to be dramatic with...

All the feathers, all the over the top diva outfits. He's walking in Disco-wing's footsteps

[jackandjanetdefender]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46588747/chapters/117321832

The idea and Janet and Jack going somewhere in Europe for a miscellaneous amount of time so that Jack can wait foe Janet to come back to life has grabbed me by the throat and wont let me go.

Like, I'd probably use different characterisation for Jack and Janet here, but honestly... I really like the idea. Janet being immortal, Jack being along for the ride/kinda upset Janet also passed this on to their son because wtf Janet, Tim being a lil too chill about it, and Bruce who is not dealing well with any of this.

What a happy family.

Oh my gosh, I know this one! It's so much fun XD

I'm a sucker for these types of fics. Jack chilling while his wife is Mostly-dead is an image that won't leave me either. If you end up writing an au based off this, it'd be amazing and I'd totally read it ^-^