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Have you ever wanted to know what Willy Wonka’s elevator feels like? Or ever felt like you related to the vibe of a kazoo or Jack Black?

My substack might be for you!

Come join me on this strange little writing journey, subscription is currently FREE which is a hell of a deal, honestly

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Why do we dream? I don’t want to die til it’s been answered

My guess: to remember To remember we also exist outside space and time.

Alice Notley, from twelve poems from Negativity’s Kiss, Gulf Coast: A Journal of Literature and Fine Arts (vol, 21, no. 1, Winter/Spring 2009)

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"That's the fifteenth one this week, Gaùth."

"Well, yes, it is- but does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?"

"Gaùth, you can't keep locking the humans in the exit bay and opening the doors. They die."

"Yes, sure, they <i>die<\i>, but we can always just go and get more. It's not like they're an endangered species."

"Um, actually...they are now. And you've just frozen one of the last male breeders."

"....How mad do you think the Admiral will be?"

"Considering that was his favourite one, probably about as angry as that time you threw that spare battery into the acid ocean on Omega-42 and we were stuck there for a month."

"Well, shit."

"Don't swear, Gaùth. It's vulgar."

--------//

@justagirlwithtrustissues, this probably wasn't exactly what you had in mind but it just popped into my head and wouldn't leave! These aliens seem to be a bit oblivious to the human condition though. I hope you enjoy!

(i know it's short but i've just had a baby ya'll so i'm doing my best!)

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I'm taking requests!

Hello human friendos, as I'm slowly working on part 2 to both Jarpeth's Essay, Voyager and now (!) A Personal History, I thought I would indulge your brain tingles and take some sci fi requests! Just send me an ask or reblog/reply to this post with what you'd like to read about in a short story- sci fi only for now, but if people like it we might branch out a bit. Let's do it! If you've always wanted to be the Han Solo of your own story, nows your chance! (your idea is your idea- full credit and a tag in the post to acknowledge where it came from!)

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Your stories are amazing I'm scrolling through your blog so don't be surprised by the spam of likes

Oh thank you so much! Stories aren't posted very frequently, but recently I've been on a huge sci fi kick, if you can't tell (where's the ufo emoji when you need it).I'm so glad you're enjoying them though!

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A Personal Account of Recent Confederacy History

The Galactic Confederacy was in complete chaos.

Everything had been moving along quite nicely, and then the Humans appeared to ruin it all.

First, they stopped in the Blagdorf system and introduced them to agriculture. The Blagdorfs had been mass producing their food for millennia! It was a thriving hub for export and then they started "growing" their resources. Now it is almost impossible to find authentic Blagdorf Schnitzel in any corner of the universe. Then! Then they decided to hop on over to the Kankor System and end their thousand year old blood fued with the Arelians. An incredible feat, to be sure- except now they had two of the most terrifying races in the Confederacy as staunch allies. And the Aurelians have refused to share their weapons technology, the blighters. Their third stop was Andar-12B, a relatively small and unknown planet resting on the outer rims of the Confederacy Hub system. Rather primitive, to be sure. And so what did the Humans do? Why, gifted them FTL travel of course! The race from Andar-12B, who called themselves Terrans, had begun tentative exploration into their region, but this! It was sacrosanct amongst the Confederacy not to interfere with developing worlds. And the Humans had done so without a care at all. Finally, their flagship touched down on the home planet of the Confederacy, Andromaeda. All members of the High Council, as well as privileged scribes, were present for the first meeting with the Humans. It did not go as expected. It began when the leader of their party (4 women, 3 men) flourished a clearly ironic bow at the Head Councilman, Jarak from the Kaiser region. As she straightened, an expression I can only describe as pure madness crossed her rather dull features. There were no special physicality's about this race at all. They were quite boring, to look at anyway. As the Council welcomed the Humans to the Confederacy, they glanced between one another before looking to their leader to respond. I will never forget the words she spoke, as long as I live. "We aren't here to join your Confederacy." Everything was silence. Head Councilman Jarak was still, as if he had been carved from diamond. No one had ever refused to join. You couldn't really refuse. It wasn't an option. And yet, these were Humans. They ruin things, after all. One of the younger Councilman, a native man, stepped forward and asked the question on everyone's lips. Or, perhaps questions. "Then why are you here? And where did you come from?" The Human party smiled, as if they had been waiting for this very opportunity. You could almost see everyone present lean forward in anticipation. "We came from the stars." The Leader of the party looked towards the darkened sky, and almost whispered her final words. "And we are trying to find our way home." (part 1/? maybe if you like it)

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What is friendship worth?

Thirty pieces of silver.

Glass at his feet and ash in his mouth/

Did I not mourn for you??

Wine never tastes the same again.

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I died with you.

- A Boy Named Judas || LMB

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Residents of the Library: A Practical Guide for New Librarians

The books

Not to be disturbed unless there is an emergency

The shelves

Ask politely before attempting to clean, some are exceedingly fond of their dust

The woman in the reference section who is perpetually searching for a certain unknown volume

She will always refuse to tell you which one it is, but it’s good manners to ask her a few times a day anyway

The cat with five eyes

We recognize that this terminology can be confusing, as there are at least a dozen of the cat with five eyes living in the library, but each of them insists on being treated as though they’re the only one. Therefore, each of them is The Cat With Five Eyes

Unidentified cryptid

Possibly just The Cat With Five Eyes pulling a prank

The lost child

At this point we must assume, as the child has not aged or been picked up for several years, that it is not so much lost as it is stuck. In the meantime, until its parent returns, it must be placated hourly with new picture books or tantrums will be thrown

Library patron

??????????

The helpful ghost

A benevolent presence that keeps trying to help shelve books and putting them back in the wrong place. Actually exceedingly unhelpful, but the title makes it so happy

The Stacks Goblin

DO NOT offer food!

Shame on you, there’s no food allowed in the library anyway.

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HP Headcanon

I like to believe that before the final battle Slughorn locked the younger Slytherins in their common room and changed the password to "To Liberty. To Victory. To Harry Potter." as his own little revenge against Tom Riddle.

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"We've been here before."

Eliza picked up the clearly human looking clay pot from the ground. She studied it, keenly aware of the silence from the group behind her. Panicking slightly, she tore her eyes from the remnant in her hand and turned to face her colleagues. "Yeah, we've been here before."

As one, all eyes turned skyward, as if to see the blue and green orb hovering above. Eliza gulped, and spoke softly, the tremble in her voice betraying her. "If- if we find human relics on Mars, does that mean-?" Jeremiah, the old professor, turned to her, his expression at once both melancholy and resigned. "We've been looking for others for so long- clearly a lot longer than we thought."

Loneliness echoed out into the abyss as silence settled once more.

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Jarpeth's essay for Intro to Terra and Humanity

Humans are a rather incredible species.

Travel hardy, useful, virtually indestructible- yet rarely aggressive. They threw themselves out into the void with barely any regard for their own lives, without care if they would succeed- they did it because they could, and they were curious and they wanted to.

Scientifically brilliant, they can be terrifying when experimenting- they call themselves 'Doc Brown' and laugh when things blow up in their faces. They invented FTL travel in less than 100 galactic years- far faster than any race before them.

They came in droves, eager to meet the rest of us, join us, adventure with us. It's all about adventure with the humans.

Generally a peaceful race, their history is littered with wars and battles amongst their own kind, until a shaky peace formed amongst the devastation and they turned their gaze outwards. To the stars.

They didn't bring guns, nor weapons of any sort. They disarmed with simple smiles, mischievous looks and breathtaking, illuminating discoveries.

They are brilliantly, wonderfully, utterly mad.

But you shouldn't ever mistake them as an easy target. Some races tried, once. Now all that remains of them is ash.

They appeared in the human home system, ready to subjugate the vermin ‘Terrans’. They expected no resistance, and had prepared ships to transport their spoils of war home. Their first mistake was believing the humans to be defenceless. Just because they had not brought weapons to our meeting, did not mean they did not have them. Armies of thousands, hundreds of thousands gathered on Earth, making the invaders pay in blood for the offences they committed and every step of ground they took. The humans did not stop, did not give in, and gave no mercy they did not care to give. And then the fleets appeared.

There are billions of humans, after all.

One rose from the depths of the oceans, thousands of ships rising from the inky dark, bringing cold death from below. Missiles launched into the mass of invaders, the boom-shake of their explosions rousing cheers from the humans.

The other came from the stars, surrounding the armada of the invaders. The gleaming black hulls hung heavy in the sky, menacing, passing judgement.

And it rained holy fire.

In the end, there was nothing but silence, but the entire universe heard the whispered message.

We will not retreat.

We will not submit.

And we will raze you to the ground if you try us again.

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Voyager pt 1.1

The ship landed softly on the pad in front of Commander Lei and the waiting delegates. "Commander, are we sure about this?" Prince Ta'kyed asked softly, warily eyeing the gleaming blue craft. 'Maa'kesht! That thing could hold 5 squadrons of Alkyet!' He thought to himself. The Commander inclined her head slightly. "They found us, Prince Ta'kyed. You know the rules as well as I." The prince nodded slowly, clearly still uneasy. He flexed his hands and sighed, he missed his home. The webbing between his fingers had started to crack and dry, unused to such long periods without water. He'd need to go see the Doctor again, tonight. No, as soon as possible. His attention snapped back to the ship as a curved outer wall slid aside, revealing a small, curious pod, that began to slowly glide to the ground. It landed with a quiet thump and small hiss of steam. Another wall opened smoothly to reveal a group of what Prince Ta'kyed assumed were the Terrans. He stared openly as they exited their vehicle. They were tall, much taller than his people but not quite as tall as Commander Lei's, the Minyet. They did not display any of the expected hostile body language, nor did they seem particularly aggressive. As they reached the delegates, Prince Ta'kyed noticed that they seemed to defer to the largest Terran, the one in the front. Male appearing, with a large blonde beard and a rather terrifying array of inked pictures on his body. The large Terran stepped forward, and extended his hand to Commander Lei. "....." At the confused expression on the Commanders face, he made a sudden noise with his throat and then tapped a small screen attached to his neck. "Greetings, Commander. I am Captain Alec Ambara, and this is my ship, Voyager. We are the delegate ship of the Terran First Fleet. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Prince Ta'kyed was stunned. 'Translators? Incredible.' He thought. 'Wait, First Fleet? There are more? Commander Lei took the hand still held in front of her, bemused. "Uh, Captain, I'm not entirely sure what to do with this." The Captain made that noise again, and gripping the Commanders hand, he moved it up and down in the air a few times. "It's called a handshake. We use it as a gesture for hello, when you first meet someone, or even to seal a deal." The Commander didn't look like she understood anymore than before, but nodded her head anyway. "It is also a pleasure to meet you, Terran Captain Alex Ambara of the First Fleet. We had long thought your home system to be inhospitable to life. Hence our surprise at your contact." She said, waving her hand to usher the groups inside. Alec looked around him as they walked, and grinned. Space. He was in space. On another planet. Talking to aliens. It was all too surreal. He turned back to the Commander, who was still waiting for an answer to her implied question. He shrugged. "We spent a few hundred years just exploring what was close to us. We've actually got a few thousand colonies spread out in our sector. It took awhile, and we didn't really ever think we'd be able to get this far. Nor did we ever think we'd find anyone." He smiled wistfully, and looked slightly pained. The Commander was confused. "You-you have been expanding? We never noticed. And you thought you were alone?" Captain Alec shrugged again, this time a little ruefully. "Oh, we knew we hadn't been alone. We were wondering if we were alone." Prince Ta'kyed was still unsure about these Terrans, but he couldn't help but to ask what the large Captain had meant. "Hadn't been? Why do you speak as in the past?" It took the Captain a moment to understand the question, but his face cleared once he had and he began to make that theist noise again, only louder and for longer. Once he'd calmed down, he turned a smile onto the Commander and Prince Ta'Kyed. "Why, we've been here before, of course."

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A conversation between Eve and Lilith

The bible calls it sin but we call it Victory.

Even paradise can be a prison.

I felt hunger, and thirst.

He thought me weak.

I was to be consumed.

I was punished.

I clothed myself and hid from his gaze.

I fought.

I questioned.

I ran.

I was not equal.

I was a slave.

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ishanijasmin:

i want to make something small and beautiful. it’ll probably be the next edition of passionfruit. please send me small and beautiful things you’ve made, or send them here. 

examples, as per usual: - playlists - articles - flash fic - poems - photographs - art

i know this theme is vague. let’s call the deadline friday, with room for extension - a short deadline for a small project. i’d love to hear what’s out there. 

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I. Aren’t we all so much more than the water we drowned in? II. This is a second chance, my dear. Claim what should have been yours: your voice. To be or not to be? Be. Be more. The stage is set for you now. III. Take your garland and build yourself a throne of flowers. Or burn it, let the bitter fragrance devour the air. Frailty, thy name was never woman. IV. You’ve had your rue. The rest grows for them. V.  Let him go. He is the fennel seed— only staving off hunger— and columbine, thankless. You deserve more. You deserve love rooted deep, love that yields fruit and does not wither. VI. Girl reborn from cold hard ground, leaving wilted violets in your wake. Tragedy and beauty have conceived you. You are no longer made of blossoms, no longer speak the language of the trees. You are forged from the earth. You are steel. Weapon. Your language is power. VII. Smile brightly, beautiful child of the doomed court. To thine own self be true. Do not forget. VIII. She’s mad, they’ll say. But they do not get to define you. They do not know you. IX. Your name is help. You must help yourself. X. We do what we must to survive, every one of us.

<i>For Ophelia, Back from The Dead to Rewrite Her Narrative, And for The Teenage Girls Who Share Her Story</i> // Mimi H. Kim (via poetryriot)

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Contempt

Prompts

• Pearls strung on the dead house cat • Leaving the suburbs and the wraiths at last • The writer and the plagiarist • Closet of furs • Carrion birds circling • Twelve Labors of Hercules • The ruins after summer

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I sing of golden-throned Hera whom Rhea bare. Queen of the immortals is she, surpassing all in beauty: she is the sister and the wife of loud-thundering Zeus, the glorious one whom all the blessed throughout high Olympus reverence and honour even as Zeus who delights in thunder.