incorrectcuphead

[incorrectcuphead]

cuphead: [about baby bottle] go drop it at the fire station. [to baby bottle] you wanna go see the fire trucks, pun'kin? hmm?

[incorrectcuphead]

mugman: [reading his english class essay] why should caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? what’s so great about caesar? hm? brutus is just as cute as caesar. brutus is just as smart as caesar. people totally like brutus just as much as they like caesar. and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? because that's not what rome is about. we should totally just stab caesar!

cuphead: mugman had cracked.

[incorrectcuphead]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[incorrectcuphead]

king dice: i was getting... [whispers] liposuction.

cuphead: i’m sorry, what?

king dice: [whispers a little louder] i was getting liposuction.

cuphead: huh?

king dice: LIPOSUCTION!

cuphead: [gasps]

king dice: OH GOD!

cuphead: NO...

king dice: i know! i’m a fraud! it’s not like normal dice can have this ass! if my fans knew that i bought it, i would lose everything! i've already lost my husband. i'd rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

cuphead: dice, your secret's safe with me.

king dice: thank you.

[incorrectcuphead]

cuphead: look. i drew a picture of you.

elder kettle: oh, wow. okay, what am i? i’m a cowboy?

cuphead: no. it’s a picture of you playing baseball.

elder kettle: oh, right. yeah, i can see him running the bases.

cuphead: no, you're hitting a home run.

elder kettle: of course. yes. well, thank you.

[incorrectcuphead]

elder kettle: mugman, cuphead, why don't you take it outside, okay?

mugman: and do what?

elder kettle: fight in the sun. it’ll be a nice change.

[incorrectcuphead]

the devil: yell out the scariest thing you can think of. one, two, THREE!

cuphead: porkrind’s parking lot!

mugman: THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE! WHY IS INKWELL ISLE TWO SO POWERFUL?!

[incorrectcuphead]

king dice: i’d like to thank cuphead for his generous gift of two dollars, which he handed me outside this morning. not necessary, but much appreciated.

mugman: why’d you give him two dollars?

cuphead: i thought he was homeless.

[incorrectcuphead]

cuphead: [to mugman] if you put on a puffy, white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old, you're gonna be swinging from a flagpole in your puffy, white underpants

[incorrectcuphead]

elder kettle: cuphead? why is your face in the newspaper?

[incorrectcuphead]

mugman: hi. i’m mugman and this is pitchfork.

[his goat]

mugman: we’re both gemini vegetarians.

[incorrectcuphead]

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[incorrectcuphead]

elder kettle: if you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

[incorrectcuphead]

cactus girl: if a beautiful woman disagrees with me i will immediately change my views. i have no principles.

ms chalice: well maybe you should have principles.

cactus girl: you’re right, maybe i should.

[incorrectcuphead]

mugman: mugsy, i think you've earned yourself an extra muffin.

[incorrectcuphead]

cuphead: how come i’m not dead?

mugman: because you are the luckiest and the unluckiest cup on the face of the earth all at the same time.

[incorrectcuphead]

the devil: somebody up there has got it in for me. i bet it's my father.