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Sam: I'm actually gonna kill you Ted: Who is this Sam: Take a guess. Ted: This might come as a surprise but I have a number of people I could expect that text from

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Ted: If they come back and attack us, I think we should kill Paul. Paul: Oh yeah? Ted: Yeah. So they think we're crazy with nothing to lose. Charlotte: Smart. Bill: That's smart. Ted: Like I'm imagining them rounding a corner, and we're all blood-soaked, and I'm wearing your face, and they're like, 'Whose face is that?' And I'm like, 'The last person who fucked with us!' And that's just feeling like a really powerful image to me. Paul: Just seems like they'd recognize my face. Maybe if you wore it inside out?

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Paul: You're losing blood!

Ted: No, I know exactly where it is.

Ted: It's on the floor.

Ted: Don't ever underestimate me.

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Charlotte: I hate to admit this but I think if I were in a bad mood and Spongebob were around, I wouldn't be able to navigate that situation with the patience or grace it demands. Charlotte: And I worry he would blame himself. Charlotte: I'm no better than Squidward.

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Zoey: Ohhhhh "have you learned how to drive yet" I have the spirit of friendship in my heart. The joy of life's little things in my soul. The whimsy of magic. The beautiful enjoyment of nature. Zoey: The answer is no though

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Paul: We're going to Emma's weed room Charlotte: What's Emma's weed room? Paul: It's a room full of weed. Paul: And it's Emma's.

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Paul: Category one numbers for example FEEL a certain way on sight. They'll be sort of disconcerting. Scary. Charlotte: Scary. My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet and look for numbers that are scary. Ted: It sounds dumb and Paul said it dumb

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Mr Davidson: I can sense that the questions made you feel afraid and disoriented. Paul: Mr Davidson: Well, the good news is, you're AT an orientation! Paul:

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Miss Holloway: You can either come with me and live up to your full potential or lie here and live with the consequences. Emma: I wanna lie here.

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Steph: My toxic trait is thinking I could survive the Byron-Shelley friend group Pete: I think it would be much simpler than whatever we've been doing for the last year.

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Emma: Casually dropping Paul's hyperfixation into the convo so he’s forced to talk to me for another hour

Emma: I have been informed this is called "asking someone about their interests" and not a female manipulator tactic like I thought it was

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Nora: Can you come and collect your freak of a man please. Zoey: No I set him loose on purpose. He needed enrichment.

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Emma: Would you believe me if I said this wasn't my fault Paul: I would. Emma: Well you shouldn't. Because it was my fault.

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Ted: SHUT UP. Im going to kill the next person I fucking see I swear to God. Charlotte: Hello hi! Im so happy to see you! Bill & Paul: *Wheeze* Ted: ...Hi.

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Charlotte: It has come to my attention that either I have a type Charlotte: Or I have a problem.

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Ted: Hi :( Charlotte: What's wrong? Ted: Someone at work ate my sandwich. Pete: Well what did the police say?

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Nora: YOU HAD MY BLOOD. TESTED. FOR AMPHETAMINES? Emma: You were extra jumpy last spring, we had to double check to be safe! Nora: I don't think I'm jumpy ENOUGH if my employees can STEAL MY BLOOD