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loki as brooklyn 99′s gina linetti…

bonus:

(shoutout to @eralkfang​ and @reserve​ for the idea!) 

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“Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don’t know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion.”

Loki, probably

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"He’s so dense that light bends around him."

Loki, about Sigurd

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Sigurd: 1996 called, it wants it's clothes back!

Lorelei: 2090 called. You're dead and you waster your time on earth.

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"I'm not running a charity here, except the one where I donate my old towels to poor people with the same initials as me."

Loki

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“I envy you. I’ve never been able to meet me.”

Loki, definitely

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"Boyfriends arrive early and do all the boring stuff that no one else wants to do, like getting ice or having this conversation.”

Verity

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"You think I can’t do anything without your help, but I’m going to prove you wrong. I just need one thing: your help."

Verity, probably

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Sigurd: You look like a million bucks!

Loki: I know you didn't mean that to be hurtful but...

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Verity: Loki you mustn't blame yourself

Loki: I'm not. I'm blaming you

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Amora: Oh, poor Loki! I can’t imagine what it feels like being despised by so many people.

Verity: Oh, come now, don’t be so modest!

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Loki: I’ll bet my reputation on it!

Lorelei: Sorry, there’s a five dollar minimum.

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*In The Void*

Ghost Verity: (to Loki) Yes, I’m your conscience. We haven’t spoken for a while. How are you?

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Verity: Now, look. Loki has been busy all day! If-if! he were even able to LEAVE the void, he would certainly not just MURDER a STRANGER…without stopping by the apartment to say hello to me FIRST!

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Sigurd: I’ve heard you are a contemptible sneak.

Loki: Too bad no one’s ever heard of YOU at all.

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Lorelei: It’s weird how some Midgardians say ‘elevator’ instead of ‘lift’.

Loki: And how my mother says “you’re a disappointment” instead of “I love you.”

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Loki: So, how have you been, Lorelei?

Lorelei: Fine. Except for this headache. Comes and goes.

Sigurd: [enters the room]

Lorelei: Oh look, there it is.