howtopolyglot

[howtopolyglot]

a very slurry guide to why french is Like That, Actually

SO

yall remember that post that went like…… “why is french… Like That”?

well, time for An Education from ur local french literature student

SO, BASICALLY, WHAT HAPPENED

first of all, well, it’s like the 9th century and the king is like…… hey what if….. and bear with me on this one but….. what if…….. we wrote………. the things about our country………… in the language……. actual people living in this country….. speak?

and people were like “holy shit youre the king so okay” and then the king was like “i want YOU to write this laws and THINGS in FRENCH!” and the monks were like “aw okay” so they started doing that

EXCEPT

that they had a big fucking problem. what was that problem, you may ask? well, the problem was thaT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE AN ALPHABET TO WRITE THIS FUCKING EXCUSE OF A LANGUAGE

lemme explain. all they knew was latin and the latin alphabet. bc like knowing latin was the whole thing when u were a monk. also latin was like… the Serious Language. but french doesnt sound like latin like at all. french sounded like some bitch ass demon had bitten their tongue and was trying to order a latte in the middle of an exorcism incantation. and i say “sounded” on purpose bc their pronunciation was wild, man. like ultra wild. like even WORSE than what we have to deal with now. and it had NOTHING to do with motherfucking latin.

so what did the monks do? well, they were like “aw this is a mcfucking embarrassment of a situation, ay” and had a choice. basically, they could invent a whole new mode of transcription for french weird ass sounds… OR they could do their best to try and adapt the latin alphabet to its demonic sprouting.

which is, pretty sadly if you ask me, what they went for.

so they started planning strategies that were complex at shit bc like how tf are you gonna write “cheval” with a fucking LATIN ALPHABET??? so basically they all went with whatever felt best to write in the moment and there were no rules and it was a weird fucking mess of a situation lemme tell you, ive seen the manuscripts, those men went APE SHITT

and like…. some of them never used the same spelling twice. also there were like no accent and punctuation and things that allow you to write like a fucking normal human being so jot that down

so, that was a big fucking mess and they started adding letters e v e r y w h e r e like……….. ok some of them were actually smart like they did their best to add letters that no one pronounced but it made it look like some latin thing. like basically they put up a pink hairband on a fucking DEMON CHILD and went “aaaawww look how CUTE it is, looks like its mommy so much!!!!” and prayed to god it would end up well (spoiler: no. no it didnt. bitch)

so you got things like “veult” for “veut” bc the “l” made it look a bit like the latin “vult” or something. but then as i said some of them went APE SHITT and were like, WOOHOO FREE LETTERS and started adding weird letters to words that had literally no etymological link to that letter. so they were writing “peut” like “peult” just because….. idk they felt like to??

so its Like That in the middle ages and then people started thinking about french as a language and they went like….. MAAAAW THERES A WEIRD FUCKING STRAY WRITING OUTSIDE!!! MAAAAAAAW!!!! IS THAT EVEN A FUCKING LANGUAGE???? BLINK MOTHERFUCKER!! AAAAAAAAAAAA and everyone was losing their shit alright

so like english students started going to college in france and they were like “bitch you live like this??” and the french were like :/// whelp

and like they did their best to like help non-native writing french but it had no rules so it didnt work out well and like….. in the 1500’s some guys were like “okay guys this makes no sense from now on well use a RATIONALIZED WRITING i built MYSELF” and their idea was basically to write french as they spoke it which i know SOUNDS like a good idea but actually AINT

bc first of all there are a shitton of words that have the same pronunciation in french and you need those weird spellings to actually know what the word is there for like….. they wrote like “me” for “mai” and “mais” and “mes” and “met” and basically that was wild

and some of those guys who knew a lot about grammar went like “ooookayyyyy so were removing those letters we dont pronounce buuuuuuuuuut its not alwayyyyyys like thiiiiiiiiis” and like…. right-wing people like the 1550 equivalent of republicans or some shit went like, foaming at the mouth like rabid fucking dogs when they saw “pe” instead of “peult” “oooooohhhhhh but you DIDNT and its not EVEN REALLY RATIONAL” and like they had a ton or arguments and it actually became a kinda linguistic war and all

plus they didnt pronounce the same things everywhere in france so in paris they wrote “otr” for “autre” and in lyon they wrote “aotr” and they were like……… “we got a problem here” bc the whole thing was to get a language that was the same everywhere in the country basically

so u got those reformist guys on the one side and the reactionaries on the other side and honestly, reactionaries’ arguments are so fucking funny they were like…

“okay so some of the letters are useful bc it helps understanding that the word comes from latin” this ones rational alright

“also some mute letters are used to link the words from an identical background together and create semantic links like “sang” (blood) does have a mute “g” bc it links it to “sanguin” (sanguine) and other words like this” alright cool

but THEN you got some weird fucking ideas like

“but actually writing IS the standard bc written things Are More Noble, Actually” which is like……. weird flex but ok

“yes, it makes it harder to learn, but so it repels women and non-educated people who would soil The Language if they could write it” like DUDE are you FUCKING SERIOUS

and finally – their main idea –

“bUt iT loOkS FaNcY” aka #aesthetics and thats basically it

also. the printing press workers were like……… guys are you SURE you want to get us to COMPLETELY CHANGE AND UNLEARN OUR WHOLE JOB LIKE C’MON so it kinda weighed in favor of the reactionaries

also the reactionaries won in the long term

tl;dr so french is Like That because 1. its a demonic language that monks desperately tried to tie back to latin and 2. old white men with bizarre aesthetic tastes hated women and The Poor

thanks for coming to my ted talk my language makes no sense and neither does its history

[howtopolyglot]

Essentials of Linguistics is an entirely free online open access textbook with accompanying videos for introductory linguistics classes by Dr Catherine Anderson at McMaster University. 

This is the first edition and it has a pretty basic set of chapters which are geared primarily towards the Canadian learner. It also looks useful for people trying to self-teach linguistics because it’s freely available online and all the chapters are designed to work together, which is so often an issue when trying to cobble together various online resources. 

Since it’s open access, hopefully it will continue expanding to provide intro chapters for more subfields and with more international options. Even if that ends up creating a book that’s too comprehensive to be used in full by any single intro course, it’s always great to have more options! 

[howtopolyglot]

Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.

The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”

In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.

Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.

[howtopolyglot]

Does anyone know of some good op ed pieces about the use of the terms “black” or “African American” by non-POC?

I’m wanting to do some reading

[howtopolyglot]

Wow hi guys I am sorry I disappeared but holy fuck I have been busy.

Fun fact: I think I am no longer doing psycholinguistics but I might start pursuing raciolinguistics instead.

Also I am now writing two honors theses so rip me for the next year and a half

[howtopolyglot]

As much as I love it, it is a whole new level of Spanish when the focus is no longer on learning a language, but to explore academic concepts and research with Spanish.

I am taking classes about the linguistic contact of Spanish within the United States and a class discussing First (and Second) Language acquisition of Spanish, and both of these classes are in Spanish and use Spanish literature. 

Like y’all, these classes could stand on their own within my native language English at this university, so doing it in Spanish is just a whole new level of language proficiency (and difficulty).

[howtopolyglot]

A la verga varies a lot depending on how you use it, for instance: ¡A la verga!: Oh shit!, Oh fuck! Que verga?: What the fuck? Vete a la verga: Go fuck yourself, Fuck off The closest thing in english would be fuck (sorry to fill your inbox with palabrotas sjaksk)

If the textbooks aren’t going to teach us, we need to know lol

[howtopolyglot]

i just learned that one of the spanish equivalents for "out of the frying pan, into the fire" is "salirnos de guatemala pa' meternos en guatepeor" and i think it's hilarious, not really bizarre but

The other one that’s less funny and more literal is salir del fuego para caer en las brasas which is “to leave the fire (only) to fall on the coals”

But I much prefer Guatemala a Guatepeor 

[howtopolyglot]

Does anyone else struggle to fall asleep sometimes because they're angry at the mere concept of gender or is that just me?

[howtopolyglot]

Mandarin Holiday Vocab

I recently went on a trip for 3 days to one of my favourite cities in the whole of my country, but I realised I didn’t have the appropriate Mandarin vocab to allow me to talk about the journey - so here we go!

假期 - holiday/vacation [jiàqī] 在度假 - to be on holiday [zài dùjià] 使放松 - to relax [shǐ fàngsōng] 公共假期 - public holiday [gōnggòng jiàqī] 旅程 - journey [lǚchéng] 出行 - trip [chūxíng] 城市 city [chéngshì] 城镇 - town [chéngzhèn] 村庄 - village [cūnzhuāng] 出城 - to be out of town [chū chéng] 在市中心 - in town [zài shì zhōngxīn] 地点 - location [dìdiǎn] 旅馆 - hotel [lǚguǎn] 住旅馆 - to stay at a hotel [zhù lǚguǎn] 乡间别墅 - villa [xiāngjiān biéshù] 消遣 - relaxation [xiāoqiǎn] 活动 - activity [huódòng] 旅游业 -  tourism [lǚyóuyè] 游客 -  tourist [yóukè] 游览 -  to visit [yóulǎn] 探险 - to explore [tànxiǎn] 观光 -  sight-seeing [guānguāng] 观光游览 - to go sightseeing [guānguāng yóulǎn] 冒险活动 -  adventure [màoxiǎn huódòng] 前往 - to travel [qiánwǎng] 旅行 - travelling [lǚxíng] 旅行者 - traveller [lǚxíngzhě] 海滩 - beach [hǎitān] 海洋 - sea [hǎiyáng] 游泳池 -  pool [yóuyǒngchí] 游水 - to swim [yóushuǐ] 冲浪 -  to surf [chōnglàng] 去冲浪 -  to go surfing [qù chōnglàng] 步行 - to hike [bùxíng] 做徒步旅行 - to go hiking [zuò túbù lǚxíng] 比基尼 - bikini [bǐjīní] 商店 - shop [shāngdiàn] 纪念品 -  souvenir [jìniànpǐn] 记住 -  to remember [jìzhù] 珍馐美味 -  delicacy [zhēnxiū měiwèi] 文化 - culture [wénhuà] 传统 -  tradition [chuántǒng] 地区 - area [dìqū] 买 - to buy [mǎi] 太阳 - sun [tàiyáng] 晒斑 - sunburn [shàibān] 按摩 - massage [ànmó] 海岸 - coast [hǎi'àn] 在国外 - to be abroad [zài guówài] 到国外 - to go abroad [dào guówài] 飞机 - plane [fēijī] 火车 - train [huǒchē] 汽车 - car [qìchē] 乘汽车 - by car [chéng qìchē] 公共汽车 - bus [gōnggòng qìchē] 轮船 - boat [lúnchuán] 飞行 - to fly [fēixíng] 驾驶 - to drive [jiàshǐ] 走 - to walk [zǒu] 航行 - to sail [hángxíng]

[howtopolyglot]

Mandarin Drinks Vocab

I’m a big fan of coffee and cocktails myself, so I thought it’d be cool to make a vocab list where I can talk about drinks - necessary but a type of vocab list I always somehow overlook! Hope this helps someone else!

玻璃杯 - glass [bōlibēi] 杯子 - cup [bēizi] 大杯子 - mug [dà beīzi] 啤酒杯 - mug (for beer) [píjiǔ bēi] 瓶子 - bottle [píngzi] 吸管 - straw [xīguǎn] 水壶 - kettle [shuǐhú] 烧水 -  to put the kettle on [shāoshuǐ] 茶 - tea [chá] 咖啡 - coffee [kāfēi] 黑咖啡 - black coffee [hēi kāfēi] 牛奶咖啡 - white/milky coffee [niúnǎi kāfēi] 一杯咖啡 - a cup of coffee [yī bēi kāfēi] 加奶油的咖啡 - coffee with cream [jiā nǎiyóu de kāfēi] 汁 - juice [zhī] 水 - water [shuǐ] 酒 - alcohol [jiǔ] 鸡尾酒 -  cocktail [jīwěijiǔ] 啤酒 - beer [píjiǔ] 葡萄酒 - wine [pútáojiǔ] 苹果酒 -  cider [píngguǒjiǔ] 威士忌酒 - whiskey [wēishìjì jiǔ] 伏特加酒 - vodka [fútèjiā jiǔ] 奶 - milk [nǎi] 苏打水 -  soda [sūdáshuǐ] 橘子汁 orange juice [júzizhī] 果汁 - fruit juice [guǒzhī] 药茶 -  herbal tea [yàochá] 喝 - to drink [hē] 抿 - to sip [mǐn] 大口地饮 - to gulp [dàkǒu de yǐn] 吞咽 - to swallow [tūnyàn] 吐出 - to spit [tǔchū] 尝 - to taste [cháng] 你想喝点什么吗？- Would you like something to drink? [nǐ xiǎng hē diǎn shénme ma?]

[howtopolyglot]

I refuse to believe that these categories are also for straights. 

Bildzeitung glänzt mal wieder mit Qualitätsjournalismus

[howtopolyglot]

This is known as the framing effect in psychology! The famous example of this comes from Tversky & Kahneman (1981). They has a whole experiment that was designed to show the intense effect that this sort of information has our decision making processes.

Imagine that you were told that there were two options to treat a group of 600 individuals with a horrible disease. If you chose the first option, you would save 200 lives. If you chose the second option, you would have a 33% chance of saving everyone, but a 66% chance of saving no-one.

If you’re like most people, you would choose the first option to save a guaranteed 200 lives. It sounds better, doesn’t it?

Now imagine that you were given another group of 600 people. For this group, if you choose the first treatment, 400 people will die. If you choose the second treatment, you have a 33% chance that no one will die and a 66% chance that all 600 will die.

Most people tend to go with the second option. 

Mathematically, the two conditions have the exact same choices. 1/3 will live, or a 1/3 chance all will live. There is no difference, yet the language generally causes a vast difference in decision making by participants (if it didn’t work with you, well, you’ve been cognitively primed to look at the options differently than you would if you had been presented only the question due to your exposure to both questions, AKA the context made you consider the details differently than normal conditions). 

Yet, despite the options being the same, in a positive-framing condition, 72% of participants chose option A (save 200 lives), in a negative-framing condition, 78% of participants chose option B (33% chance no one will die).

It’s definitely a strong business technique! Now to apply this to classroom teaching....

‘90% success rate’ sounds a lot better than '1 in 10 chance of failure’.

[howtopolyglot]

How do you combat the hopelessness?

With everything going on... I've found myself in a weird position. I just don't have the energy to talk politics anymore. Not in the privileged I can ignore politics because they don't debate the validity of my existence kind of way, but in the if I hear one more time about why immigrants or refugees don't deserve basic humanity, I might give up kinda way. It's so depressing looking at what's happening. It hurts to see people's true colors. It's hard to debate politics when there's just such an internal hurt and despair from what's going on.

Of course, that won't let me stop the fight. I'm still volunteering at a local refugee shelter. I'm still a vocal part of my community and am not afraid to stand up for others. It's just that three am sadness that's become more prevalent lately. Because if they haven't listened by now, what could physically happen that would make them listen?

[howtopolyglot]

Hi, so remember when I said I do research on bilingualism? This is a topic that we struggle with in that academic community and a topic that merits further research, but also policy change in many ways. So please forgive my tangent.

To begin, I am going to state that I whole heartedly agree with many, if not all, of the things spoken above. You do not need to look far to see the sprawling consequences of imperialism, both linguistic and political. On the internet English, due to its history and the fact that the modern use internet was originally created in English, is a norm. Rarely do you see a website that does not offer English translations. You are not limited by English on the internet. This is the point that @no-passaran and @dasakuryo were trying to make. Their point consists in the fact that as a non English speaker, often times you are forced to conform to the usage of English in order to obtain the same benefits of the internet. Well, you might ask, isn’t that a choice? They are choosing to use this system, so that comes with the territory. Well, unfortunately there are other influences at play. It is impossible to exist in the truly modern sphere without internet. Internet has become as ubiquitous as it has become anglocentric. 

That’s pretty much how it stands for L2+ learners of English, but something that hasn’t really been discussed here is the Language A and Language Alpha learners of English, otherwise known as simultaneous or native bilinguals. How does the omnipresence of english affect these individuals you might ask? Well, it pulls away from their other first language. A huge issue in bilingual language acquisition cases is the motivation to learn other languages. So, with the internet being more available in English than in Spanish, that provides English a upper hand in a tool that is essential for daily professional life. I do not fully subscribe to the economic theory of language acquisition that dictates children will learn the languages that they deem to have the most value, but there is a grain of truth to be found in that logic. That is partly why subsequent generations of immigrants tend to be English only monolinguals. There isn’t sufficient motivation to learn their heritage language when only English will suffice just as well.

That’s why this dominance of English transcends the issues of unavailable resources for things such as fandoms on the internet. It is one of the driving forces of the increasing dominance of English as a lingua franca, and a driving force in many’s lives to lose their heritage language. It is not the only factor, to be sure, but it a major player.

With the age of information ever progressing, the decreasing diversity of language is definitely something to be mourned. Research shows over and over that there is no disadvantage to being bilingual, in fact, in many aspects it is advantageous to be a bilingual. Yet, LOTE (languages other than english) are attacked constantly on a wide spread scale. This does not only apply to minority languages. Take for example, Deutsch/German. It has been increasingly prevalent for German youth to use a form of Deutsch called “Denglish” online. The effects are seen in other languages such as Spanish, French, and even Chinese. A large part of Chinese web culture has been influenced by English, even though it may look completely foreign to a native speaker of English.

The internet today stands as a constant reminder of America/Britain’s colonial and imperial past. It is a reminder that may never be wiped out. Linguistic diversity was already decreasing before the advent of the internet, and with technology becoming cheaper and more widespread, this trend will only accelerate.

So that is where I disagree. English as a lingua franca is a bad thing. It is a silent tragedy.

Sometimes I wonder if native English speakers appreciate how much more comfortable the internet is for them than for the rest of the world

Like, you can go on tumblr and simply read stuff in your mother tongue? Amazing. Go on youtube and you don’t have to replay some sentences ten times to try to understand what they’re saying? Incredible. Look for practically anything on google and know that there will be a fuckton of results that you can read without having to spend half the time looking up words in a dictionary? Fascinating. Make a post or send an ask without panicking that you’ll make a silly mistake or that they won’t understand what you meant? Unbelievable.

[howtopolyglot]

Facelift

I decided to give my blog a bit of a facelift :) I don’t think I’ve updated my header and avatar since 2014. Let me know what y’all think :)

[howtopolyglot]

Issues that I don’t understand why they’re issues:

The Italian Keyboard Post™️