hidden-rubys - Tumblr blog

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forgive yourself,  my love forgive yourself you deserve to be loved unconditionally  for you are  the only one left for you

forgive yourself again and again and again and again and again

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From Maureen Tierney's chapbook, Truths to Tell the World (That You'll Never Hear), available from Bottlecap Press!

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T.W. EATING DISORDER, SUICIDE Mirror, mirror on the wall

26/1/2017 6:07 a.m.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, Do I look pretty? Mirror, mirror on the wall, Will anybody love me? Mirror, mirror on the wall, I need pity. Mirror, mirror on the wall, Will I be who I wanna be?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I haven't eaten for three days. Everything's started to fall, In many different ways. "Boys like girls who stand tall." Her mom says. "And you don't do it at all." So, down on the bed, she lays. To her head and ears, her demons started to crawl. She thinks her worth is how much she weighs. "You're worthless, useless and you don't have a call."

She took her blade, In tears and in front of the mirror, she stood. Her soul and spirit started to fade. "I've done all of what I could."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, I can't do this anymore. My brain has stopped, my heart is sore. I will just end it all."

The little angel slit her throat, blood is dripping on the floor. Now, I think you believe that quote: "It's all bullshit what we live for."

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We should meet in another life, we should meet in the air, me and you.

Sylvia Plath; Lesbos (via sunsetquotes)

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Moonlight glitters across the hour’s perfectly modeled bust, luminescence filtering

through the curvature of minutes as night glides its umbral hands over the shoulders sculpted out of seconds —

this effervescence of life, so still in blurred motion, wafts like fog, like clouds, like

something sketched in a dream, a flicker of a breath tinging the air, whispering reeds in a field, and ocean hum

sheltering a pair of clasped hands.

© Anna S. 2022

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feel too much

19/10/22 5:17 p.m.

the air is blowing at my teary eye trying to cry hide my crooked smile

i thought i was okay, or maybe i wasnt

sometimes melancholy feels so homely as if its the only place im supposed to be

let me snatch my own heart smear my face with the blood and my own tears feel it pumping in my own hands let me feel my breaking heart as it weeps

why do i have to let everything i love go?

why do i have to notice every breaking heart feel my own shatter along while no ones heart sheds a tear at the sound of my own heart as it breaks

why do i have to feel too much?

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No Longer Sob Alone

3/1/19 3:35a.m. 

Oh, the sun!  The beaut of the sky, the warmth and the blaze of day, the bright smiles where the sadness decay. And Earth chases its light, to illuminate its sky, leaving its half in darkness. 

And oh, the moon, the hopeless romantic of Earth. Spinning around it to chase the light. And I find myself so much of the moon; chasing hope, but we never aline, shining in the darkest of hours waiting, waiting I am for a reason to dim. And I witness the darkest scenes. Watching helplessly, mouthlessly, wishing I could stop the misery. 

Could it be the gods crying when the sky is pouring? Crying, weeping for how their creations wage bloodsheds, spreading ashes, spilling wine. And oh, too much do I whine! 

The bread, the beds they're stained with blood. And I wish upon the sun, I could meet the gods, so I could no longer wail alone. 

Oh, the oceans! How beautiful they are! And oh, how many people have spilled their ink in their water. So enigmatic. They hold, oh, so many wars and betrayals. And I just crave for laying my body against the silky texture as a letter in a bottle, in the middle of nowhere with no terminus. Thrown with hope to be found, trusting the waves, hoping to be saved. 

And I wish upon the moon, I could tell the gods, so I can no longer sob alone.

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mistermistyeyed- heavydirtysoul music video søøn

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I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go, where the wind don’t change and nothing on the ground can ever grow. No hope, just lies and you’re taught to cry in you pillow.

Alive by Sia

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I've lost I've ever known, forgotten that one place I've called home.

Annisokay - Snowblind.

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We all have our horrors and our demons to fight, but how can I win when I'm paralyzed?

Bring Me The Horizon - Don't Go.

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TO BE FUCKING HONEST.

tO BE FUCKING HONEST, DEATHBEDS BY BMTH NEVER FAILS IN MAKING ME CRY.

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While you're doing fine, there's some people and I who have really tough time getting through this life so, excuse us while we sing to the sky.

Twenty One Pilots.

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