hgrrross42

[hgrrross42]

maybe if you bundled yourself up and went for a walk out in the cold then came back inside with rosy cheeks and cool skin and warmed yourself up with a nice warm cup of herbal tea with honey maybe then you'd calm down

[hgrrross42]

your work matters, and you're not a very good judge of it.

you can have the fancy degrees and the years of experience. you can have zero idea what you're doing and nothing but a song in your heart. the way you view what you write will never be how i view what you write. which is why you gotta write whatever feels real and good and honest to ya.

i forgot this. it's really lonely to be an author. the world you slice through to carve into a page - it can't ever be fully realized. sometimes the sun is butter yellow, and i can never spread it onto toast to serve to you. i can never describe fully the feeling of a new england october, only that a place that is often too-cold is suddenly full of a strange and visceral warmth. if you're not a writer or an artist, the experience is like this: take a flower and study it. without eating it, cook me a meal that tastes like this flower.

so i didn't know how good the book is, only that i hoped beyond a hope that anyone out there might get a kick out of it. maybe someone nice will review it every few days, i thought. i just want it to help any 1 person.

i did a reading recently where far too many people were kind and thoughtful and so gentle with me that i got into my car and burst into tears. i've had a very rough year, and this experience felt like a hug. so many people telling me they love what i read from the book. and in it, listening to the laughter as i read - at jokes i have long since stopped thinking are funny - it sent a bird straight through my heart. oh shit, i thought. i've been so unnecessarily cruel to myself.

you have no idea how many people read your work and don't respond because they are too shy or busy or unsure. i have webcomics i've never commented on that i've been checking on weekly for actual years. there are artists on spotify i will never be able to see in concert. there are paintings in galleries that i couldn't afford but wanted to kiss. i love what you have made, and i have no idea how to tell you. i love you, and it hurt me and helped me and also sent me back home. i wish there was more time and more ways to shine the light back to you.

be gentle. you have no way of knowing if you're good enough, so you might as well make something that feels good to make. someone will love it. and that love is never wasted.

[hgrrross42]

Do you always illuminate any room you walk into with your light and passion or are you just excited to see me (we complete eachother)

[hgrrross42]

“platonic age gaps are problematic-“

are you guys really not friends with your parents? your siblings? your older and younger cousins? your professors and teachers and mentors? the regulars at the cafe twice your age? your motherfucking grandparents? open your eyes and your hearts to what a friend can be.

[hgrrross42]

Changing your sheets is such a significant spiritual moment in life and I feel like we as a society don't give it the weight it deserves

[hgrrross42]

I am so unbelievably gorgeous now, but at every past occasion I was so ugly and lacked awareness and I feel ashamed of any interaction I had with anyone ever.

But also I used to be so so pretty and cool and I really let myself go now. Now I'm unrecognisable and ugly and I don't want to meet anyone from my past, it's too embarrassing.

[hgrrross42]

The only thing worthy of documentation to me at this point is flowers

We got these at the farmer's market today, got a bunch of lavender too

So many bees :)

Happy Saturday

[hgrrross42]

The sky has been so incredibly beautiful the last few days. From bright skies, varieties of clouds, to heavy but see through rain, dark blue skies, to rainbows, to sunsets, to lightning bolts that illuminate the clouds on dark nights, you wouldn't be able to see them otherwise.

I stared at them and had one of these moments where you're like "wow, this moment is going to be cherished in my memory".

I love these moments.

I love spring.

[hgrrross42]

I miss this bouquet I got at the farmer's market a few weeks ago. Also recommend staring at the sky aimlessly today, if you haven't already.

[hgrrross42]

Zucchinis are going to be BIG this summer. Mark my words. Oh, also fresh bread and beans.

[hgrrross42]

[hgrrross42]

Just finished my yoga practice and loudly sobbed in savasana. Then went on to drink 2 glasses of water. I am participating in the water cycle. Isn't it poetic?

[hgrrross42]

Actually, she just notified me that everything is going to be ok. Just so you know.

[hgrrross42]

[hgrrross42]

[hgrrross42]

Hmm my face looks… different… better somehow? Yesterday I looked like a goblin why do I look almost…..pretty?

*pulls out health app*

Oh yeah, bout to ovulate 😎

[hgrrross42]

Just listened to some old playlists and was delighted to find out that I, in fact, always had the most revolutionary taste in music