hartsgold

[hartsgold]

https://thalassus.tumblr.com/tagged/levitersora

can you imagine if i was actually 30............ this is so fucking wild. i have a link roleplaying with this blog back when i was on citta as percy jackson FROM FOUR YEARS AGO when i was TWENTY, having no idea who they were or that they were a freak sexualizing minors. additionally, trying to associate luna / awakenfate with all of this is beyond inappropriate, and also baseless. the straws being drawn here to try and come up with an accusation / to destroy my reputation for sport are.... really something. 

should i post my birth certificate regarding my age.... is that where we're at....

additionally, while i understand that it’s fair to want to get to the bottom of accusations – especially regarding the despicable severity of sexualizing minors or perpetuating antiblackness – i really have to ask some of you to just block me if you think me guilty of either of those things rather than wanting to hear me out before you suddenly decide i’m a vile person, despite some of you knowing me for over a year or longer. the fact that nothing like this has ever happened with me before in over 4 years in the independent rp community really means nothing to a lot of people, and it’s been hard to accept that fact. 

again, i can’t say how sorry enough i am about making a thoughtless guess about who someone was and trying to associate them with someone they weren’t. my paranoia regarding zen and theorizing that them and venus were one person who was already coming up with multiple identities to hurt people really threw me off, and i acted so massively stupidly as a response. people do that on the internet all the time, but it was a dumb assumption and dumber, crueler move to make a guess and spread misinformation i didn’t have proof of. but i reiterate: my reaction/suspicion to one reblog’s tags (which was corroborated to have been reblogged by zen, by howl, when he said he drew it for them) and associating the instance with the two was the ONLY basis of my lashing out, beyond the art zen sent me on discord. 

altogether, fair that this is happening and that i’m being associated with a blog i’ve only known for a second of my life. karma! for sure. 

but i think the literal instantaneous shift of people guessing i’m a horrible person without even speaking to me, being okay with people misgendering me and erasing me, is hypocritical at best, and cruel at worst. i haven’t said anything because i understand a lot of people in this rpc would rather not go against the grain or have people think badly of them as well, but it’s been seriously jarring. the extent of which people have suddenly decided i’m someone they don’t know. 

needless to say, i’ll probably be taking a break. we’ll see. 

[hartsgold]

hello!!!! warning @hartsgold rped NSFW of an underage character & lied about his age, saying he's 25 but it actually like 30??? the details are on @calloutrpcfe

hi, i’m answering this with consent so just really quickly you random ass person that’s apparently trying to stir up shit for no goddamn reason :

first off, that blog doesn’t exist, so what’s up with that?

secondly, i’ve known bree since we were both eighteen years old. we met in our freshman years of college, we are the same age and no, he isn’t lying about his age, i can confirm this over and over and over again because i have known him for six years of my existence. that claim is utter bullshit, so try again.

third, pulling info from other people who you ( presumably ) sent asks to about bree for no fucking reason, you seem to be claiming that he did bad shit on his sora blog back in the day and again : i can confirm he didn’t. we met way back in the day on his sora blog and my naminé blog and were very close at the time and none of the shit you’re claiming happened. at all. there’s literal proof that i won’t bring up because it’s not my place.

any other claims you want me, personally, to refute? i’ve known bree a very long time and i can do this all day.

[hartsgold]

okay, okay, promo post for real this time. luciel is back at again, fellas! do me a favor and like / reblog this post if youd be interested in interacting with shiro magi from zettai karen children! you will receive one (1) tired psychokinetic who has to manage too many responsibilities on his own shoulders and feels like hes babysitting children 90 percent of the time! call now to redeem this special offer and he, too, can be your dad for the low monthly cost of nothing!

[hartsgold]

i just wanted to post an independent apology both to howl (who i’ve spoken to one on one) and to the people that i reached out to blindly/overzealously with too much conviction over smth i definitely didn’t have proof of. i’m definitely ashamed of having reacted so quickly and know it was an inappropriate thing to do on the scale i did. even privately, it’s not okay to leave that kind of impression on someone so new in the community who’s literally just trying to write like everyone else. 

my assumption was based on one reblog and the similarities in art styles, and nothing more. there was absolutely not enough thought there to base that kind of an accusation on and it was unfair of me to do so. getting tricked by two people who i feel deceived a lot of us has made me paranoid, yes, and that’s not an excuse! i’m not speaking on these things as a means of trying to garner anyone’s pity. it wasn’t an ok move at all and i understand people’s reactions to that. again, me talking to zen one on one for a while and feeling uncertain about their true identities just left me haywire. the fact that it doesn’t make sense to you is the same for me. i don’t get it and was defensive in a way that hurt howl. but it was never about me making associations with venus, or simply because they are both black artists. zen was an artist too. regardless, it was wrong. 

as for being condescending toward a polite ask, it was just me responding to getting @’ed 4 times on my phone when i couldn’t access the posts in the first place and was trying to formulate my thoughts. 

Anyway, i hope you can all understand that i have legitimately nothing to gain from being vicious to someone new in the rpc. it does nothing for me to corner someone trying to have a good time writing. again, i truly did fuck up. i understand that these accusations and presumptuousness has been cruel and hurtful. there’s no buts or excuses and i don’t have any intentions of implying either. i’m not a victim here and howl being angry was fair. i really should have reached out on my own first and foremost. that’s my responsibility and truly, i own up to it. 

i hope ppl can do what they need to regarding their comfort. again, i’m sorry. if anyone else wants clarity or to talk, i have my im’s on. 

[hartsgold]

hey if i jumped the gun on something in a private space and was wrong, i own up to it and am not ashamed to say as much but getting misgendered for it + called white when i’m not a woman or white does not solve the issue nor make it better

[hartsgold]

cygin‌:

……..i don’t even HAVE YOU on discord bro. My discord is still very active, it’s  which i have also been using for a year, multiple people HAVE IT, i have NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION WITH YOU, and i HAVE A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME AND ZEN ….. can you please look at the fact that u accused someone who multiple people know, have on discord, and know from other fandoms??? 

this is the only fire emblem blog i have ever had, i just joined this fandom 2 weeks ago which i am starting to regret because oh my GOD y’all are buck fuckin wild. my art style and zen’s art style are not similar at all but my art blog is @bumsensei since you wanna say with your whole chest that i’m postin art somewhere, there’s my art!

zen never stole my artwork to my knowledge? i drew a picture of claude and showed it to zen 4 days after i met them from my oc’s blog bc they were the only claude i knew at the time. we weren’t even friends, we’d literally just met when i drew it. 

i have the dms between me and zen as well as a DISCORD CONVO BETWEEN ME AND ZEN unless you’re going to accuse me of discord messging myself too, in which case i cannot help you. idk what is blatant to you because this is the most wild shit that has ever happened to me

truly, if you have the zen discord convos then that’s fine. i genuinely wish i had zen's discord conversations to me because it would make my reasons for being on-edge a lot more clear. 

i think it’s natural to be on edge about literally anyone with a similar art style, as two bloggers just fucked with a ton of people psychologically and made them believe they respected their identities when they did not. i felt like i wound up getting close to zen and was really betrayed by what happened. i was on high alert. but if you truly aren’t either of these people then that has nothing to do with you and i apologize for dragging you into it further than u were already dealing with it.

i genuinely apologize for jumping the gun on trying to keep a small circle of people aware of concerns i had. but truly, i didn’t want to post some massive callout about something i didn’t have screenshots for or archives to reference. i didn’t turn some mass of people against you. you said you were softblocked by like 3 blogs. i didn't force those three blogs to do anything, they were likely just on edge too

i’m not just going to do this kind of thing for the fuck of it, nor did i want to raise some gross state of awareness about you. telling a few people i felt unnerved by what was going on is nowhere the extent of what you’re posting.

also cannot emphasize enough how much me mentioning beastars was an insult to zen, because furries r a joke enough as it is. apparently they’re minors and that’s even worse. 

[hartsgold]

you literally posted your art/sent it to me over discord and the style was the same........the fact that i remember the art you literally sent me of drawing legosi’s abs has nothing to do with conflating black artists. if only you didn't deactivate all your blogs or block me on discord to cover your tracks huh. also i don't really think you're just venus! i think you're zen or both of these people who were lying to everyone for a month and a half about caring about their wellbeing before posting some bigoted stuff and then logging off. you literally posted your art on @/aepine! people saw it. i saw it.

also, people being able to vouch for you for a couple months of blog activity doesn’t mean you’re incapable of lying.

talking to my friends in private spaces about things that concern me wasn’t some callout for you. i didn’t post some manifesto against you or tell people to stop associating with you at all. i cautioned a few people with the information i had and told them to do whatever they wanted to. no one has to do what i say, nor did i smear your name or even @ you in a post like you’ve done rn.

if you want to post proof of your first conversations with zen regarding that art being sent specifically, that aren't photoshopped to insanity—if zen was stealing your artwork or something along those lines— then i’m truly happy to apologize but this is unfortunately really blatant to me.

the saddest part abt this is i have like no followers so i literally have no way of raising my voice / defending myself like. i cannot @ or contact this person otherwise i would have messaged them. bree / hartsgold you can’t just fuckin tell people i’m venus with no proof especially since You Never Even Messaged me. I followed you first, why the hell would i get called out, delete my blog, and secretly have another blog under a different name that i had BEFORE THIS SHIT EVEN WENT DOWN and THEN REFOLLOW THE PPL WHO WANTED NOTHING TO DO W ME. does that make any type of sense???? CAN YOU PLEASE ADDRESS THE FACT THAT U APPARENTLY TOLD MULTIPLE PEOPLE I WAS V*NUS BASED ON NOTHING OTHER THAN I AM BLACK …. I KNOW THIS FANDOM HAS LIKE 3 BLACK PEOPLE (I CAN SEE WHY) BUT WE R , I ASSURE YOU, THREE DIFFERENT BLACK PEOPLE ….  THANK YOU……

[hartsgold]

Hi! I am coming to you privately, since your dms are limited, to point out your accusations toward Howl are unfounded and inaccurate, and I strongly recommend you stop spreading misinformation about my friend. Howl has gone by Howl the entire time they’ve been in the RPC and literally has no correlation to Venus what so ever— aside from both being black. I find your accusations completely inappropriate, be more cautious of spreading misinformation.

can you relax and stop @’ing me 400 times so i can form a thoughtful response 

[hartsgold]

*just never trusts anyone in the rpc again* that’s fine

[hartsgold]

please if you're gonna pretend to be somebody new at least use a different art signature

[hartsgold]

have i made a post about how khalid used to be a crybaby/prone to crying easily up until when he turned 12 and dedicated himself to learning his instruments and compartmentalizing? and how he swore to himself that he wouldn’t just keep crying (senselessly, he told himself) and would take action instead? that he would work tirelessly until he wouldn’t have reason to cry anymore? because it’s true, 

[hartsgold]

dear archbishop

booo we hate your pussy

[hartsgold]

MAG 165: Revolutions

[hartsgold]

HI THERE! this is a brand new indie dedue molinaro rp blog looking for some friends and folks to write with!! i’m a fresh face in the FE rpc so please be patient with me as i find my bearings! 

do consider dropping a like or a reblog and i’ll be sure to check you out! thanks much  ♥

[hartsgold]

firestarter‌:

     “i’ve noticed.” axel plays it off well — but he’s seen the way one woman, in particular, eyes the desserts in the dining hall. however, unfortunately for him, it was nothing as serendipitous as a random observation. her hair caught his attention; that tell-tale, familiar white that makes his stomach churn. “that’s my job, ain’t it? noticing things.” it wouldn’t be good to bring her up with claude. there’s nothing to gain from that. everything to lose. “and, also, eating pancakes. after this, i’m gonna eat whatever’s left.”  

     of course, claude’s approach to mercy is something interesting, as well. it’s not something hinging entirely on compassion; axel can understand the logistics of it. “that’s true. my instincts’re pretty great.” he stretches. “my spy skills, too. i was only asking outta curiosity. if you don’t want blood, you won’t get blood.” …probably. there’s enough riding on this to entertain axel, he thinks — the presence of a strange urge to prove himself has already settled in his chest. “spy stuff’s okay, but it can be so boring. with assassinations i get to leave a little present for the other guys, y’know? cause a little ruckus. get ‘em talking. stealth work’s much less fun. people don’t even talk about a good spy ‘cause you’re not supposed to get noticed as one.” there’s much less room for creativity. “but i’ll do my best for you, claudie.” a crooked grin. “gotta show you that my bite’s even better than my bark.” 

“among other tasks.” khalid tongues the cold upper row of his teeth, something of a thoughtful expression limning his face. “but yes. believe it or not, i have hired you to assist us in clearing out our overabundance of pancakes. whatever will i tell hilda that someone is here to replace her?” strange, what a few weeks will put between himself and the person who’d been on a mission to end his life. 

“i appreciate that. as a matter of fact, it’s the very last thing i want.” he wants to make that perfectly clear, much as he understands reality in front of them both. “but there will be some days when i need distractions and displays. i’ll be sure to place you front and center, and leave you with a little... creative liberty.” they have no choice but to accommodate one another. when it comes to this little arrangement, there’s much to learn. much to do. “i like your attitude. i suppose we’ll see, since i’m letting you off all on your lonesome. you won’t be too sad with no one to chew the fat with, will you? i can’t have my spy wilting like a lonely rabbit.” 

[hartsgold]

@hartsgold​ : i am now something experimental.     /     accepting.

He is hungry; Soma can identify hunger and, for a time, had mistook his desire for her desire.  (  hers and his are arbitrary distinctions, no matter how she wishes for a HER that is real and for a him that will never turn to her.  soma is him, the same way soma was built to be anyone.  )  But it is not the same as hers; she aches to TAKE / TO CREATE SELF FROM OTHERS.  This instinct is a violent one and they, even in their sickness and inhumanity, know it is wrong, so they do not indulge except with permission.  THERE IS NO SELF TO CLING TO, and so despite their fear of losing them / selves in the sea of TAKING OTHERS, they want to take and take, because to be empty is the same as to be dead, and they fear death more than unbecoming.

Claude doesn’t want to TAKE, they know now.  He wants to know, which can be done via taking, but does not require it.  It’s a different thing, and Soma sees now, because they are useful to him when they can see and learn.  (  because to know him is a kind of taking, for all she hasn’t drank his blood or eaten his memory.  )  He is hungry and they are a curiosity, something to KNOW, and Soma wonders if some day they will grow tired of being fed from and demand he let them take, take, take, in fair return.

(  they won’t.  if there is a self in this chest, it is made to give and give and give.  )

“What are you?” she asks, one day, because he is looking at her like his eyes might unravel her, rend flesh from bone and muscle.  Soma wouldn’t mind, so long as he put them back together when he was done.

“Hm?”

They rise from the seat they’d taken upon the floor, long legs unfolding and body raising in one sinuous motion.  The book they’d been reading is set aside, left to mark where they’d stopped to rest, and she approaches the desk he sits at.

“Not human,” Soma observes, not intending to harm.  He isn’t human, because humans can not look at other creatures with eyes like that.  Neither of them are human.  (  he : because of the eye.  she : because of the stranger and — because she was built, not born.  )  It’s nothing to resent.  But — “Not like other Avatars.”

Maybe her frame of reference is broken.  He is good.  None of those with the Stranger were.  She was not.  She hopes she is, now.  But he is not the kind of inhuman she is familiar with.

Her hands press against his cheeks.  There are no claws, this time, no bright blue eyes.  Just them, and their parted lips, and their eyes studying his face.  They want to take.  They want to take him.  To make him hers / to make him her.  She wonders if the hunger in this body’s eyes is the same as the hunger in his.

“So,” she begins again, “what are you?”

Claude doesn’t break eye contact, lips sloping in a smile that is thoughtful and fond and only a little sharp.  He is silent for a long moment, and Soma allows him the thought while her cold hands press to the warm of his cheeks.  They breathe, slow.  It would be easy to take him, but they know they won’t.

It will be better if he gives himself, anyway.

“I am, now,” he starts, and mismatched eyes raise from where they’d settled on his mouth to find his eyes again, “something experimental.”

It’s with a quiet breath that Soma swallows the words.  Something experimental.  Her chest, whatever facsimile of a too - slow heart exists within it, stops and shifts.  Something about that delights them, though they cannot articulate what.  Curious blankness gives way to a smile and flashing teeth.

“Yes,” they breathe, hymn - like.  “Yes.  That’s it.”

Soma has never taken anything like him.  They are hungry.  He has never known anything like them.  He’s hungry, too.

She leans nearer, hands tightening around the sides of his face to keep him still.  The nip against his throat is playful —— not enough to break skin.  Never, without permission.  It will be better if he gives than if she takes.

They breathe the words against his flesh : “Me, too.”

[hartsgold]

queenstyped‌:

The list of what they can devour is expansive.  Body parts, something dripped in memory.  But — a statement!  OH, THAT WOULD BE PERFECT.  THERE’S NO BETTER VESTIGE.  Soma’s sick glee only grows.  It’s a little different with Avatars, with allies, but the PREMISE IS THE SAME.  “I’ll eat it.  Not — literal.”  That was just what the others called her special gift.  “Take the —”  A pause.  “Strong parts.  Add to this body.”  Better than the others, who can only steal whole selves.  His monster can mix and match!

“ah, that’s right. it figures that it should feed you, too.” now that they’re allied with the eye, he wonders just what else they’re capable of. his relationship with the ceaseless watcher is slightly different than everyone else’s, but... he should look, one of these days. “their flesh turned to wax, and their organs simulate the feeling of burning. you’ll want to be cautious, soma. i don’t want you to hurt any more than you already do.”