golftoons

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GolfToons 74 - Golf Genie

Probably the most common fault of golf swing is the resulting slice. It is the the nemesis of the highly handicapped golfer and at times seems incurable.

The remedy for a slice is often so elusive that many a golfer has fantasized about a magic genie that grants them three wishes.

The first wish would probably be for some riches to take the sting out of green fees and equipment.

The second might be for some wisdom (but that might lead to giving up golf.)

But the third wish for many golfers would be a cure for their slice.

However, as many teaching pros know, that might be an unrealistic fantasy.

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GolfToons 73 - Teed Off

The golf ball is important and he knows it. 

Today’s golf ball has evolved and changed so drastically over the millennium, he has changed the game of golf itself. Some of the innovations have been dramatic. Some cosmetic. Nonetheless, so many advancements allow him good reason to act smugly towards the lowly tee. 

Tees can snap or end up buried deep into the earth, ending a promising career.  And that really tees them off.

Early versions included paper, cork, rubber and then, for a very long time, wood.  Not really rocket science or any form of artificial intelligence.

Today, plastic and wood tees come in a plethora of shapes and sizes. But try as a solid tee might, any claims of improvement sound like the guy in a cheap suit and clip-on tie selling stock tips. 

Balls are ballsy, with his claims of adding length, controlling loft and keeping you in the fairway.  

The best a tee can lay honest claim to is being a dependable partner that always stays close by during a round. 

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GolfToons 72 - The Buried Lie

Golf can be a lifetime pursuit, giving it a unique status in the world of sport.

So deep is their commitment to the game, often times when golfers pass-on friends and family memorialize them in special ways.

Famed golfers will have golf courses or holes named in their honor.  

Upstanding country club members might have a permanent plaque on a bench overlooking a favorite hole.

Other golfers may bequeath their cremation ashes to be scattered on a favorite hole as part of a Last Will and Testament, regardless of local ordinances or common law restrictions.

But has anyone been buried under a green?

Who wouldn’t like to finish one under?

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GolfToons 71 - Sleepy Hugo

Oh the agony of slow play.

When in the midst of a snail-like round there are several things you can do to avoid a lethargic pace of play from undermining your own game. Try to take it easy.

Usually, the culprit or culprits are several groups ahead. No matter how much pressure you apply to the group ahead of you, it’s unlikely they’re going move any faster. Nowhere to go!

So, relax. Slow down a bit to match the pace of the group ahead of you.

And if the pace gets really bad, just take a nap.

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GolfToons 70 - 19th Hole

The 19th hole

The proverbial 19th hole.  That place where golfers go after their round to discuss their performance and commiserate with other golfers.

It’s also where the days bets can be settled, the feedbag can be donned, and/or a refusge from the elements. 

 For some it’s a watering hole (not to be confused with water hole) where one drowns their sorrows in liquid amnesia or relives that glorious seven iron that rattled the pin on number 9.

Is it true that the more water on the course, the less water in your adult beverage?

 What to drink at the 19th hole?  It can depend on what was consumed on the previous 18 and how you played that day.

For example, 4 double bogies may require a couple more doubles.

Similarly, 3 birdies might be made even sweeter by an expertly made Old Fashioned or Whiskey Sour. 

In addition, If you carded a 101 in 90 degree heat an iced cold draught or a tall Gin and Tonic may be the answer to your day’s woes. 

What’s your favorite post round beverage?

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GolfToons 70 - Golfing Super Hero

Golf is an addiction. No surprise to those of us addicted.

The thrill of improvement is powerful. Gaining distance and control of your tee game. Striking a crisp, long iron from the fairway. Sand saves, getting up & down and draining a 30 footer.

And then you chip-in from off the green. A birdie! Two birdies in one round. You begin to entertain the idea of an eagle!

These early steps in a golfer’s journey strike the young and the old, men and women, blue collar blokes or corporate executives. No one is immune to the grips of a golf addiction. Next you will want to extend your season into the fall, and you will be losing your ball under fallen leaves. And pretty soon you’re ice golfing with a neon Volvik.

Like all addictions, it can lead to a dereliction of anything other than the most important of duties. Husbandry, fatherhood, work, house chores. You name it, even battling super-villains and protecting the public from evil in The Universe.

It can be conquered and even controlled. The addiction that is, not the game.

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GolfToons 68 - Darth Fader

Darth Vader, originally known as Anakin Skywalker, was probably a decent golfer before his transition to Darth.

A series of space-adventure lightsaber duels cost him both legs below the knees and left arm. To compound matters he also fell into a volcano and his lungs were destroyed to the point he required a breathing appartatus. 

His golf game may have unraveled to the point that his once ever-smiling face became grotesque. His tight draw degraded into side-show slices.

Whatever you do don’t say slice to Darth Vader or he’ll whip out his lightsaber, hence the nickname “Fader.” 

 Worse though may be the psychological damage to his once generous and affable personality. While Anakin was always a welcome patron in the clubhouse, buying drinks for his buddies and in general an all-around nice guy.

The Darth version.... not so much.

So if you score a game with Darth, one more tip, don’t bring up his son. You might win the Nassau but be ready for some sabre rattling.

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GolfToons 67 - Cranky Dan

Golf is a force to be reckoned with.

How you choose to deal with the game frequently involves avoiding being “triggered.” Often our emotions succumb to events that transpired during a round. Little wonder that Ben Hogan said, “Golf requires a short memory.”

Forcing matters because you repeatedly failed to accomplish your objective is a response mechanism that plagues even the best players. This happens on the PGA Tour, but the television coverage rarely shines the spotlight on the guy in 45th place in the throes of shooting an 80.

So, when a 13 handicapper like ‘Cranky Dan’ misses 18 consecutive greens, he is going to grant himself a birdie putt. Even if one doesn’t exist.

Gosh darn it!

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GolfToons 2019

We are approaching the end of our first full year of “Golf Tooning.”

Thank you for all of your support and comments over the past year. Thanks for sharing our Golf Toons with your golf world. We have much more planned for 2020 and beyond.

We thought a look back would be fun and wanted to share with you our favorite GolfToons from 2019.

What are your favorites?

Michael Duranko

Many golf buddies put this one into my top 3.

GolfToons 62 - The Press

We live in Florida and we golf in all kinds of weather.

Sometimes it feels like we are golfing in a hurricane!

GolfToons 56 - Hurricane Golf

This is one of my all-time favorites.

GolfToons 44 - Centaur of the Fairway

Marty Glass

I got back into running this year, and other ways to get back in shape.

GolfToons 31 - Yoga Pants

A tribute to my favorite golfer, the incompatrable Ben Hogan.

GolfToons 43 - Hogan’s Ghost

It can get very loud inside the head of a cartoonist!

GolfToons 34 - Voices

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GolfToons 66 - Wait Loss

If golf has an Achilles heel, it’s time.

It’s an issue on the PGA Tour. It’s an issue when managing a golf course. It’s an issue with both public and private play around the globe. It’s an issue that doesn’t help with the overall the health of golf itself.

Don’t get me wrong though. I am not calling for sprinting to your ball while madly multi-tasking practice swings. Nor do I beckon you to scream at the foursome in front of your group, that may be in the midst of a trio of penalty strokes and couple lost balls.

Who hasn’t had a hole like that? It happens. Relax. Tell a joke.

Normal pace is ideal to me. Just avoid the time wasters and take advantage of the little things to keep the pace up. An example might be keeping an extra ball marker in your pocket. And if your buddy hits a nice sand shot but right in someone’s line, go mark it for him while he does some raking.

When appropriate, leave your cart or drive to your ball while your passenger deals with his shot. Trust me, you’ll find each other.

There’s tons of timesavers. I like the ones that aren’t blatantly obvious and don’t deter from keeping golf fun.

Any suggestions?

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GolfToons 65 - Athletes

To start my freshman year at Michigan State University I showed up at Hubbard Hall to find two of my roommates were in the MSU Marching Band.  They practiced every day, rain or shine.  Both were athletes in a golfing sort of way. 

 Vince played French horn and Phil was a tuba player, carrying that massive piece of metal all over Spartan Stadium.  Granted, no one was chasing or trying to tackle them, but like a kicker they made contributions towards victory.   Athletes.

Golfers are athletes as well, despite what might what non-golfers may say.

 Think of Camilo Villegas reading greens.  Athlete.

 Tiger’s biceps.  Athlete 

Vijay Singh’s workout.  Athlete. 

Phil’s calves?  Well, you get the point. 

No one chases golfers around or tries to tackle them, for the most part.  And the golf ball is not moving, it’s just teed up waiting for your swing. 

Make no mistake, as a golfer, you are an athlete.  Perhaps a weekend warrior, but an athlete capable of incredible feats of golfing prowess and other forms of athleticism.    

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GolfToons 64 - Off the Toe

There are a lot of important shots in golf, some would say they are all improtant. The tap in putt counts as much as the 250 yards drive. They all count the same.

Statisitcs prove the best way to get the ball on the green is to hit it from the fairway. And, so, hitting the ball in the fairway requires a good tee shot. Otherwise known as your Tee Game.

Recently I heard Paul Goydos talking about his friend Kevin Sutherland on the ‘No Laying Up’ Podcast. Ep #259.

Goydos casually said Sutherland is one of the best ball strikers in the game. He never misses the center of the clubface.

That is a high compliment.

For everyone else, be careful where you are standing. Missing the clubface can lead to some amazing bounces.

Anything is possible. Shanks, duck hooks, heels, toes or whatever you want to call them.

Don’t forget, golf can be a dangerous game.

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GolfToons 62 - Shadowy Putting

I love playing golf at the end of the day.

What is better than playing golf at dusk?  Speed playing to get to the last hole before dark.  Or playing the last hole when you can’t see down the fairway and you have to listen.  The joys of Summer golf!

 I live across the street from my course, and I have spent the summer teeing off after 7pm.  Sometimes with 5 clubs in my Sunday Bag, other times pushing my trolley. 

 I have a 2-hole route, a 4-hole route and then lots of options for more holes. It all depends on the light and how I am playing. 

 A match against my second ball is a lot different than playing a Saturday morning match against the sharks that I swim with.  As Guy likes to say, 2nd ball All-American!

 Later in the day the shadows come out, unlike high noon when there is no shade on any of the greens.  The trees stretch their shadows into your sightlines.  Ridges are hidden, distractions are numerous and the imagination runs wild.  The non-existent stakes are huge after the sun sets. Shadowy Putting.

 But I fight through the distractions and the putts go in.  If they don’t, I reach into my back left pocket and drop another ball, and keep putting until I find the bottom of the cup. 

 I love playing golf at the end of the day.

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GolfToons 62 - The Press

You wanna press me?

Do ya? I’ll show you a press. You like this press?

The press is similar to the double or nothing bet and is generally invoked at a critical point in the match.

The level of emotion accompanying a press is proportionate to the amount of money wagered. Tensions can also spike if the press is the second, third or fourth press. Especially if the presser is notorious for welching on bets.

Remember to make sure the rules of pressing are clear before teeing off. And the club head covers can serve as boxing gloves in rules disputes.

Any discussion about the ‘Press’ or ‘Pressing Bets’ will invariably lead to the Nassau. Here is what GolfToons came up with to explain the Nassau, including an origin story. Enjoy!

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GolfToons 61 - High Heel Golf

Golf fashions have certainly changed from the jacket and tie at the turn of the the last century, to the technical sportswear designed to wick away sweat and protecting us from today’s damaging sun rays.

What does dress for success mean on the golf course?

 Is it form or function?

Comfort or compliments?

I have never had anyone ask me about my shirt while golfing, until my lady started buying my golf clothes. And my handicap has dropped. Go figure.

I always thought the logo or crest on the shirt sent a message. Never did I think the socks matching the belt mattered. What do I know?

Many golfing peacocks show up on first tees all over the world.  From High handicappers to scratch players, you can always find some colorful, unique golf costumes on any course. 

None more memorable than Payne Stewart. RIP.

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GolfToons 60 - Two Man Golf

Could golf be made more difficult? Of course, but only a sadist would seek to make the game even harder.

But then if I wanted to travel from top of one skyscraper, to the roof of another skyscraper just across the street, I would take a couple elevators with a brief walk in between.

A Wallenda on the other hand, would just string a wire from building to building and saunter across.

Some people make thingsso simple, and that’s true of golf. While many of us struggle with the game, we all know golfers that make it look easy.

My golf game is sort of like going from skyscraper to skyscraper. But the elevator is out of order, and I get hit by a cab crossing the street.

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GolfToons 59 - Meet Hamilton "Chip" Lagwell III

When non-golfers conjure up images of golfers they tend to envision someone like Hamilton Lagwell III, fondly referred to as “Chip”.

One of those guys often found at private country clubs or expensive destination golf resorts. We all know the type, but do they really exist?

Possibly, but that specimen is a preconceived notion based on prejudice, and as we know, far from reflecting the golfing population overall.

Our Chip may be blonde, tanned, well-groomed and always sporting the popped collar, but appearances can be deceiving. Chip meets all the visual criteria of the golf snob poster boy, but there is more to his story. 

Not to be confused with his father, Hamilton Lagwell II, known to all as “The Chipper”, our Chip holds a job, and his lifestyle is far from extravagant. 

The money is gone.  His days at the club are now only memories of a gilded childhood.  When ���The Chipper’ left this world, he willed his son a love for golf and not much else.   

Chip enjoys the company of the casually clad, he finds them “intriguing”.  While his focus is on the game at hand rather than the style of his playing partners.  Chip has much in common with the ‘common golfer’, but old habits die hard.

Meet Hamilton “Chip” Lagwell III