#Golftoon

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GolfToons 73 - Teed Off

The golf ball is important and he knows it. 

Today’s golf ball has evolved and changed so drastically over the millennium, he has changed the game of golf itself. Some of the innovations have been dramatic. Some cosmetic. Nonetheless, so many advancements allow him good reason to act smugly towards the lowly tee. 

Tees can snap or end up buried deep into the earth, ending a promising career.  And that really tees them off.

Early versions included paper, cork, rubber and then, for a very long time, wood.  Not really rocket science or any form of artificial intelligence.

Today, plastic and wood tees come in a plethora of shapes and sizes. But try as a solid tee might, any claims of improvement sound like the guy in a cheap suit and clip-on tie selling stock tips. 

Balls are ballsy, with his claims of adding length, controlling loft and keeping you in the fairway.  

The best a tee can lay honest claim to is being a dependable partner that always stays close by during a round. 

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GolfToons 68 - Darth Fader

Darth Vader, originally known as Anakin Skywalker, was probably a decent golfer before his transition to Darth.

A series of space-adventure lightsaber duels cost him both legs below the knees and left arm. To compound matters he also fell into a volcano and his lungs were destroyed to the point he required a breathing appartatus. 

His golf game may have unraveled to the point that his once ever-smiling face became grotesque. His tight draw degraded into side-show slices.

Whatever you do don’t say slice to Darth Vader or he’ll whip out his lightsaber, hence the nickname “Fader.” 

 Worse though may be the psychological damage to his once generous and affable personality. While Anakin was always a welcome patron in the clubhouse, buying drinks for his buddies and in general an all-around nice guy.

The Darth version.... not so much.

So if you score a game with Darth, one more tip, don’t bring up his son. You might win the Nassau but be ready for some sabre rattling.

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GolfToons 72 - The Buried Lie

Golf can be a lifetime pursuit, giving it a unique status in the world of sport.

So deep is their commitment to the game, often times when golfers pass-on friends and family memorialize them in special ways.

Famed golfers will have golf courses or holes named in their honor.  

Upstanding country club members might have a permanent plaque on a bench overlooking a favorite hole.

Other golfers may bequeath their cremation ashes to be scattered on a favorite hole as part of a Last Will and Testament, regardless of local ordinances or common law restrictions.

But has anyone been buried under a green?

Who wouldn’t like to finish one under?

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GolfToons 71 - Sleepy Hugo

Oh the agony of slow play.

When in the midst of a snail-like round there are several things you can do to avoid a lethargic pace of play from undermining your own game. Try to take it easy.

Usually, the culprit or culprits are several groups ahead. No matter how much pressure you apply to the group ahead of you, it’s unlikely they’re going move any faster. Nowhere to go!

So, relax. Slow down a bit to match the pace of the group ahead of you.

And if the pace gets really bad, just take a nap.

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GolfToons 70 - 19th Hole

The 19th hole

The proverbial 19th hole.  That place where golfers go after their round to discuss their performance and commiserate with other golfers.

It’s also where the days bets can be settled, the feedbag can be donned, and/or a refusge from the elements. 

 For some it’s a watering hole (not to be confused with water hole) where one drowns their sorrows in liquid amnesia or relives that glorious seven iron that rattled the pin on number 9.

Is it true that the more water on the course, the less water in your adult beverage?

 What to drink at the 19th hole?  It can depend on what was consumed on the previous 18 and how you played that day.

For example, 4 double bogies may require a couple more doubles.

Similarly, 3 birdies might be made even sweeter by an expertly made Old Fashioned or Whiskey Sour. 

In addition, If you carded a 101 in 90 degree heat an iced cold draught or a tall Gin and Tonic may be the answer to your day’s woes. 

What’s your favorite post round beverage?

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GolfToons 70 - Golfing Super Hero

Golf is an addiction. No surprise to those of us addicted.

The thrill of improvement is powerful. Gaining distance and control of your tee game. Striking a crisp, long iron from the fairway. Sand saves, getting up & down and draining a 30 footer.

And then you chip-in from off the green. A birdie! Two birdies in one round. You begin to entertain the idea of an eagle!

These early steps in a golfer’s journey strike the young and the old, men and women, blue collar blokes or corporate executives. No one is immune to the grips of a golf addiction. Next you will want to extend your season into the fall, and you will be losing your ball under fallen leaves. And pretty soon you’re ice golfing with a neon Volvik.

Like all addictions, it can lead to a dereliction of anything other than the most important of duties. Husbandry, fatherhood, work, house chores. You name it, even battling super-villains and protecting the public from evil in The Universe.

It can be conquered and even controlled. The addiction that is, not the game.

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GolfToons 67 - Cranky Dan

Golf is a force to be reckoned with.

How you choose to deal with the game frequently involves avoiding being “triggered.” Often our emotions succumb to events that transpired during a round. Little wonder that Ben Hogan said, “Golf requires a short memory.”

Forcing matters because you repeatedly failed to accomplish your objective is a response mechanism that plagues even the best players. This happens on the PGA Tour, but the television coverage rarely shines the spotlight on the guy in 45th place in the throes of shooting an 80.

So, when a 13 handicapper like ‘Cranky Dan’ misses 18 consecutive greens, he is going to grant himself a birdie putt. Even if one doesn’t exist.

Gosh darn it!

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GolfToons 53 - Blame Your Parents

You hear a lot of excuses on the golf course.

The one excuse you may never hear is blaming a bad shot on the parents. This is a possible extention to one of our early gems, GolfToons 12 - Golf Mom. We have come a long way

Like almost any noble goal, golf demands accountability, especially towards yourself.

You really can’t blame anyone else, except possibly…

The rude playing partner who burps on your downswing,

Greens harder than a Wal-mart parking lot,

Howling 30 mph crosswinds,

Rain saturated fairways,

The plugged lie in a bunker wall,

The sprinkler head on the green apron,

The hapless bird that flies into the path of your ball,

or maybe the lightning bolt that takes out your three playing partners.

Other than these few examples, most other excuses seem lame.

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GolfToons 48 - Better Lucky than Good

We’ve all experienced luck on the course. The sculled iron that somehow nestles up on the green 6 feet from the pin. Or a shot that ricocheted off a tree back into the fairway. Or the always popular “play it off the ball washer”.

The most incredible piece of luck I witnessed was when my friend hit an errant drive that bounced off a pool cage screening, shot straight up into the air, landed on a cart path and bounced another hundred yards, coming to rest 80 yards from a par 4 green.

He still bogeyed the hole. But that might have gone viral if I had caught it on video.

What’s the luckiest shot you’ve experienced or witnessed?

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After walking 36 holes today. #golf, #Golfing, #Golfers, #PuttingGreens, #GolfLife, #Titleist, #Greens, #GolfBall, #GolfSwing, #PGA, #PGATour, #LPGA, #Putting, #GolfToon, #GolfToons, #SmallGreens, #TinyGreens, #Shortputts Thanks @joshbluecomedy https://www.instagram.com/p/BxOHgHkFHq4/?igshid=8lxxky4m4u2f

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GOLF-TOONS #40 - TINY GREENS What is worse, tiny greens or intimidatingly long holes? Both pose their own issues but for me tiny greens can be maddening. And I have deeper thoughts about postage stamp greens, but I will save that for another Golf-Toon. Today’s question is, “Do putting greens shrink over the years?” At our local muni I’ve noticed the greens seem to have shrunk over the years. The aprons get a little bigger and creep closer and closer to the pin. My guess is this is a maintenance issue, though it could also be an economic challenge. Keeping a public course open that offers reasonable green fees for the average Joe golfer is something I hold near and dear to my wallet. Not all of us can afford to plop down a couple Ben Franklins for round of golf. And a lot of courses, public, private, and my favorite designation, the “Semi Private” all face economic pressures. A lot of green goes into those greens. So maybe by making them a little smaller they can keep their doors open. Am I overthinking this? See link in bio & subscribe #golf, #Golfing, #Golfers, #PuttingGreens, #GolfLife, #Titleist, #Greens, #GolfBall, #GolfSwing, #PGA, #PGATour, #LPGA, #Putting, #GolfToon, #GolfToons, #SmallGreens, #TinyGreens, #Shortputts https://www.instagram.com/p/BwzKn4ZFCQ1/?igshid=9lptubkekcgg

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GOLF-TOONS #39 - DEPANTS Creepy behavior has been a hot topic in the media lately. Political campaign trails, newsrooms, and Hollywood have all been abuzz with accounts of inappropriate behavior. It’s a public conversation that is long overdue and hopefully we can get it all sorted out before someone proposes a strip Nassau bet to me. There’s no way my Bermuda short are going south of my equator. There’s simply no a-Biden this. And do not even tell me about the Hollywood version of a Skins game. The riskiest I get is forgetting to tuck my shirt in. #StripNassau #Nassau #Golf #GolfLife #Golfing #TeeBox #GolfSwing #GolfBall #GolfToons, #golfToon #Titleist #PGA #PGATour #LPGA #SkinsGame https://www.instagram.com/p/BwhFhJWFcQT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cr49rnboapah

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GOLF-TOONS #38 - Golf Service Dog Who watches @themasters with your dog(s)? Read the our blog, see all our #Golftoons & subscribe. See link in bio #GolfToon #PGA #GolfLife #golfer #golf #golfing #Masters #CBSGolf #Tiger #ServiceDogs #Augusta #ProV1 #Titleist https://www.instagram.com/p/BwO-j8xlpoc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1j0bjeyef5t6d