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internal screaming vs external cluelessness

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i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

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sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

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WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE DID THEY TOOK HER?

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herbert west if anyone gives a gaf

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"what if a dangerous man pretends to be trans to-" what if we actually dealt with the underlying causes of dangerous men. what if predators faced real consequences more often. what if you stopped using trans women as a proxy for your grievances with liberal feminism's individualist denial of the need to fight systemic issues.

what if you stopped assigning blame for patriarchy's evils to one of its more vulnerable victim groups.

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listening to the norwood builder part 3 in public tuened out to be a bad idea because the line "ahh a bit of trump's ear just hit me in the face" caught me so off guard i just burst out laughing and got me several weird looks

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Broooooooo i love their dynamics

Gwen's questions is like if Sherlock is a house plant, minus the drug thing loll

This is probably my favourite rendition of Lestrade-Holmes dynamics. They're friends (wonder if Sherlock thinks so too?)!

Even tho Dame Gwen Lestrade is less competent, in a way, than the Sherlock Holmes. It's nice. And Lestrade is a woman! Also Really Nice!

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I’m highkey mad at Joel for making Sherlock selfish bitch in the Norwood builder. There is no way Sherlock would wear his bulletproof but not make John wear one. Just simply no way. That’s not the same Sherlock we know.

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lord forgive me

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I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

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Ok I made a fun one for the fun side of tumblr! You’re propositioned by this person at the bar for a beautiful night of love making

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guys trust me your ocs are 120% prettier when they're beaten and bruised and one step away from death's door as they're left alone in the rain

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fun things that tend to get lost in dracula adaptations:

dracula throwing jonathans mirror out the window & leaving; jonathans reaction being essentially “god dammit how am i gonna shave now”

draculas shitty straw hat that he wears during his frantic daytime errands

jonathan trying to whack dracula with a shovel

general respect for lucy & mina

“we should have pity for dracula” “yeah have pity for him when i slam dunk him into hell” “JONATHAN”

quincey quietly stepping out during van helsings long boring vampire lecture & waking everyone up by shooting the fucking window in bc he saw a bat

quincey in general like why would you make the conscious decision to not have a cowboy in your vampire movie

jonathan almost dying bc he ate some spicy chicken

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the way the internet facilitates a sort of memetic decay of phrases related to sexual attraction to slowly, inexorably point towards the same conventionally attractive people in their 20s instead of the original meanings is so disgusting to me