fvkmyoneandonly

[fvkmyoneandonly]

I understand what you’re saying, but I am slightly confused about this. The medications for cluster b disorders are generally mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, which are then supplemented with antianxiety and antidepressants PRN. These medications themselves have considerable stigma, and if you take any medications at all, it will be on your medical record and medical history. 

That aside though, being open to discrimination is avoidable in most cases. Most employers do not ask for your medical history, and only ask for any illnesses that would impact you doing the job you’re applying for, like musculoskeletal disorders in people applying for manual labor jobs. If someone has a cluster B, they don’t need to fill out any ADA forms if they don’t want to, which is essentially the only other way that someone would figure out their diagnosis.

But even then, and I do hate to say this, but there are some careers that people with cluster b disorders cannot or should not pursue. Primarily those where they are caretakers, or have medical authority over others. But that’s the thing, nobody can prevent them from applying for and taking these jobs if they haven’t given permission for their medical information to be shared, or haven’t filled out any forms that give the employer their diagnosis. 

The issue with people self-diagnosing a cluster B, and then refusing to get an actual diagnosis, is that many of these people use the self diagnosis as an excuse for harmful behavior. People are wildly uninformed about the nuances of cluster B disorders and many tend to attribute their toxic traits to one of them as an excuse. This isn’t the case with everyone, no, and I won’t try to say it is, but it is for many people. It isn’t that people want them to be able to say “I was diagnosed” just for the hell of it, it’s that when someone gets hurt by someone that claims to have a cluster B, and then uses the cluster B as a manipulative half-apology, it negatively impacts the community of people who are confirmed to have that cluster B disorder. When it comes to a community that already has such a terrible stigma surrounding them, it becomes gravely important to stop people from furthering the stereotypes. 

Self-diagnosis, in and of itself, is not a terrible thing, as long as the person doesn’t define themselves by this diagnosis, and doesn’t immediately discard any other diagnosis by their psychiatrist as a “misdiagnosis”. It isn’t gatekeeping to say that self-diagnosed people have less medical knowledge than doctors do.

As a note, if you look at my blog, I made a post for people who don’t have access or financial resources to get a diagnosis, check it out!

If someone doesn't want to get diagnosed with a cluster B disorder, that is fine. It's not necessary for getting prescribed medication. It is highly stigmatizing, and not everyone actively wants that shit on their medical record. Why arrogant people want others to be open to discrimination just to be able to say "i was diagnosed" is beyond me.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

I’m sorry, I wasn’t very descriptive or helpful with my example, you’re right. I understand that they make manic episodes much worse. I wasn’t trying to be amusing or mean at all. I was only trying to provide some semblance of context with information that my brother, who is a resident physician in psychiatry, has told me. I understand that there are different state mandates though so I’m sorry that I generalized. 

i bet anti self dx people are more likely to

not have had to pay a ton to get diagnosed and were financially able to continue treatment, instead of paying just to get diagnosed and having to stop which...why would you encourage people who can't afford treatment to do this lmao

have a straightforward mental health and have no idea what it's like to get a different opinion from a professional again and again and again

not have been misdiagnosed especially again and again and again

have had good experiences with professionals and not scarred by them

maybe their mental health isn't straightforward but they'll never know since they've only went to one professional and 150% believed them

for whatever reason choose to flat out ignore that some professionals are highly bias against cluster b disorders and will only dx highly abusive people

ignore that professionals are unlikely to specialize in a l l t h e d i s o r d e r s lmao

ignore that professionals have different philosophies on mental disorders and the boundaries between them and "normal"

literally just do not care at all about the high number of chronically ill people who've been told we're over-exaggerating and it's all in our head

[fvkmyoneandonly]

You’re completely right! I apologize for the tone in my initial post, and I have actually very recently (like 5 hours ago) shared ideas and opinions with a super nice and knowledgeable inclusionist so as to put myself in check and better understand the other side of this spectrum of thought. I couldn’t be more grateful either, because my perspective has radically changed.

While I still have somewhat of an issue with microlabels that are centered on mental illness/mental disorders, I completely agree with you on the point that there is no point to adhere to respectability politics, and the majority of mogai are not harmful, whether a person uses the same microlabel for their entire life or not. 

microlabels are harmful

idk why we as a community are trying to act like they aren’t. The issue doesn’t lie in trying to strip people of individuality but rather the already deteriorating image if our community, and the people on this wretched site doing things like convincing people that they’re asexual when they’re 11 and on prozac.

It can’t be denied though that microlabels are causing massive massive infighting within our community. From the pan vs bi debate stems an omni vs bi and omni vs pan debate, debates on whether or not asexuals/demisexuals are inherently in the community, etc. We can’t focus on fighting each other when we still all face systemic inequality.

Before anyone says anything about being on the wrong side of history, and how people in ancient cultures would have nonbinary genders, I know that- but they didn’t extend to taking facets about themselves and turning that into a gender. someone with autism in 1090 wouldn’t call themselves autismgender (Partly because it didn’t “exist”, but still).

The main argument I see on here is that you deserve to be individualistic about your identity. I understand that individuality is a basic human right and everyone deserves to hve their own definition for themselves as an individual. But your individuality is so much more than your gender or sexuality. The way I see it, taking things about yourself and turning it into a new gender as people do for autism, mental illnesses, and items/objects does nothing but detract from your individuality, because it reduces you to nothing but your gender. You are much more than that. And if you don’t think you are, I think thats part of the issue.

Regardless I will still respect the pronouns. My two cents as someone who was harmed by microlabels in my youth.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

I get what you’re saying, because I understand that misdiagnosis is a real pain, but a few things I’d add on this:

A lot of what people commonly refer to as misdiagnosis is actually not true misdiagnosis. In medical school, when you treat a patient who comes in showing signs or symptoms that could go in a few different directions, you are taught to first treat them with the most likely cause of the symptoms. This is not necessarily a misdiagnosis, because when it comes to mental health, it isn’t that you CAN’T have the more rare disorder, and that IS recognized by the professionals, but it is protocol as mandated by major health institutions that they have to start with the more common choice first. 

Like, say you’ve self diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1. You’ve done your research and you’re certain you have it. You give your symptoms to the psych and they listen to you, they write everything down, and then they just give you an antidepressant to take once a day. This isn’t necessarily because they don’t believe you, it’s because when describing the symptoms of bipolar type 1, you describe the weeks you go without leaving bed, the obvious depressive episodes, and the doctor is then required to first ensure that you don’t only experience depression. Again, NOT because they don’t believe you, but because the treatment for bipolar type 1 is usually an antipsychotic combination, which can fuck up someone’s brain chemistry for a long long time if they take it without a true need for it. It isn’t a misdiagnosis, it’s a safety measure to ensure the protection of both the patient and the provider. 

With regard to being biased against cluster b disorders, most providers aren’t biased against the disorders themselves, but are cautious in diagnosing these disorders in people with developing brain chemistry and personalities (kids and teenagers). This is actually standard as well, because MANY people misconstrue benign acts of drama or apathy or narcissism as a teenager, as symptoms of a serious and stigmatizing personality disorder. Being diagnosed with these disorders as a teenager can actually result in job discrimination, insurance discrimination, and can lock you out of certain careers, so the hesitance to diagnose a young person or really any person at all with a cluster b disorder is a combination of the reason I provided in this paragraph and the reason I gave in the previous one, not out of bias towards the disorder being diagnosed in general. They do realize that the disorder exists. But just like I said before, it’s a safety measure and precaution.

Also, I just made a post providing economic resources for people who don’t necessarily have them in case they want to get a professional diagnosis! :) 

I understand everything you’ve put in this post and trust me when I say I am not trying to be mean, because I’ve been through it and I get it, but there are some unspoken reasons for why you may get the wrong treatment at first.

i bet anti self dx people are more likely to

not have had to pay a ton to get diagnosed and were financially able to continue treatment, instead of paying just to get diagnosed and having to stop which...why would you encourage people who can't afford treatment to do this lmao

have a straightforward mental health and have no idea what it's like to get a different opinion from a professional again and again and again

not have been misdiagnosed especially again and again and again

have had good experiences with professionals and not scarred by them

maybe their mental health isn't straightforward but they'll never know since they've only went to one professional and 150% believed them

for whatever reason choose to flat out ignore that some professionals are highly bias against cluster b disorders and will only dx highly abusive people

ignore that professionals are unlikely to specialize in a l l t h e d i s o r d e r s lmao

ignore that professionals have different philosophies on mental disorders and the boundaries between them and "normal"

literally just do not care at all about the high number of chronically ill people who've been told we're over-exaggerating and it's all in our head

[fvkmyoneandonly]

Resources/Info for self dxers who want a professional diagnosis

I have seen a lot of the pro self diagnosis individuals on this website preaching the idea that a self-dx is the only possible thing for some people due to economic or social circumstances. While this may be true for a very small minority, I took the initiative to compile some resources for people in the USA who would like an actual psychological assessment so they can get help for their illness, but may not have the resources to do so.

1) https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

This website is connected to the US dept of health and human services, and allows you to type in your zip code so you can see the mental health services in your area. You can sort it by mental health assessment, healthcare practitioners, and substance abuse help. The services listed will also have the phone numbers and websites underneath. 

On this same website, you can call 1-800-662-4357 or 1-800-487-4889 to determine which service would be the best for you financially or socially speaking. While states differ in laws about minors seeing physicians on their own, these phone lines will provide the best option for you, whether you’re a minor that doesn’t have parental approval to be screened, you work full time and can’t afford to leave work for a screening, or if you simply can’t afford it. 

Something a lot of you may not know- mental health services and screenings are actually often based on a sliding scale according to income. Usually, when people are talking about how expensive it is in the US to obtain a diagnosis, they are only referring to the psychiatrists and psychologists who do not take insurance, or the ones who intentionally set prices high such that their facility can be referred to as an upscale therapy treatment center (i.e. only serving 1%ers), when that is just a very vocal/well advertised minority of mental health services in the country. 

In the current climate caused by COVID-19, many mental health professionals have started providing consultations and sessions over the phone, and send a prescription if necessary to your pharmacy without using you as a middleman to turn in the prescription. Because of the good this service has done for people who don’t live in densely populated areas with mental health services nearby (Wyoming, North/South Dakota, etc), the vast majority of MHF will be maintaining their phone and video appointments and consultations, so that distance from a professional is no longer as much of an issue. 

2) Contact your local training institute/university hospital for psychotherapists

As a lot of you know, doctors and psychotherapists alike need field training in order to pass their exams to become a professional in a private practice. Allowing a student in a training institute nearby to psychoanalyze you, with the help of a professional afterwards (legally they need to review the analysis) is always free for the first session, and they may provide free sessions for as long as two years in some cases. The catch with this option is that you have to commit to a certain amount of sessions each week, for a period of 1-2 years, in order to attend the sessions for free. 

As for University Hospitals, those that are qualified to train students will almost always put them to work in their hospital/outpatient health center for training, and they always use a sliding scale for payment. 

3)https://openpathcollective.org/open-path-staff/

This website is connected to a nonprofit organization that will match you, based on your income and budget, with affordable mental health services in your area. It can be as little as $10 a visit, and allows you to input the amount of people/dependents in your family so that the match is more accurate to your budget.

SEE ALSO:

If you have insurance already, call your insurance company before you visit a facility and explore the options it provides. Most insurance plans offer a free or highly discounted initial visit to a psychotherapist so long as they’re in your network. 

On that note, if possible, ALWAYS start with a therapist in your network. The google search for therapists near you will always highlight the therapists who cost the most/don’t take insurance because 1) they pay for the spot and 2) they often write fake reviews to maintain the highest rating. When it comes to therapists, the google 1-5 star ratings are MEANINGLESS- people see a 3 star therapist and believe they’re shitty, but in actuality, people who write glowing reviews of how nice their therapist is are really just saying “My therapist is a yes man and agrees with everything I say, so I must be completely right”. This doesn’t pertain to all of them, mind you, but a therapist is not supposed to coddle you and be your best friend and excuse all of your questionable actions- if you do something wrong, or if your mental illness has caused you to do/see something differently than it was perceived by everyone else, they are supposed to tell you you’re wrong. If you’re looking for a therapist that tells you everything you want to hear, you’re not going to get anything out of therapy, and you’ll be wasting everyone’s time. 

If a therapist starts operating on a diagnosis you don’t agree with, ASK THEM WHY. It is usually because, as mandated by medical practice, a healthcare provider has to start with the most obvious initial answer, and then work up towards other illnesses if you don’t respond to treatment. With regard to personality disorders, it is common practice as mandated by the APA to avoid diagnosing a child/teenager with a PD, because a lot (a LOT) of people misconstrue teenage behavior with symptoms of a personality disorder. This doesn’t mean a teenager can’t have one, but a teenager shouldn’t go into therapy expecting to be diagnosed with BPD or NPD because it is incredibly unlikely, unless it is an extreme case. EVERY provider is supposed to start with the most common answer first. 

With regards to the sliding scale payment system- most therapists and psychologists offer this, but will only mention it when they are asked about it. It is always a good idea, no matter where you’re calling, to ask about the possibility of a sliding scale system.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

If any lesbian has a concrete reason why bi wlw can’t use the d slur, or any gay man has a concrete reason why bi mlm can’t use the f slur, I invite them to comment it below, because it all sounds like recycled biphobic rhetoric that Gold Star Gays use to avoid dating or associating with bisexuals lol

“Because you date the opposite gender sometimes! Straight passing privilege!!!!” I seriously want to throw up when i see yall say that it is so embarrassing for you all 

[fvkmyoneandonly]

They really think homophobes go “omg sorry i didn’t know you were bi! I’m so sorry queen/king <3 come sit at the Privilege Table with us Straighties!”

people annoy me so bad with slur reclaiming..like ive been called a dyke my whole life especially now since ive begun trying to present as butch/masc. fag has been universally claimed by el gee bee tee people yet i Cannot Have This...interesting i dare say

[fvkmyoneandonly]

idk why you’re ignoring history but bisexuals were not exempt from the homophobia/lesbophobia that the LGT were subject to, not today nor in the civil rights movement. It wasn’t like bigots went “oh well they date the opposite sex sometimes so it’s ok lets leave them alone :D” the bisexual privilege myth that so many lesbians and gays seem to harbor is weird

bi women can reclaim dyke. "bi women cant reclaim dyke" comes from a history of "gold star lesbian" terfs. you can find more about it if you search for it.

Bi women CANNOT reclaim dyke. Just because they may get called it doesn’t mean that they can reclaim it. They are being hit with MISDIRECTED LESBOPHOBIA. The person calling them that is being lesbophobic. Bi women cannot reclaim dyke

[fvkmyoneandonly]

You sound so aggravated omg

You’re right! I would love to call myself and others a slur! That’s exactly why I censored the slurs in the post, because I wanna use them sooooo bad.

Biphobia is an illness luv get well soon 

LGBT slurs can be used by all LGBT people

Seems like nobody is telling gay men they can’t say d*ke but the moment a bi wlw does it or a lesbian says f*g she gets doxxed lmao say you’re sexist and go

You all preach inclusivity and claim the anti-mogai shit is “tearing the community apart” but things like this make the community seem like an oppressed olympics. There is no inherent “bi privilege”. You’re being biphobic and likely sexist too <333

[fvkmyoneandonly]

If I wanted to use it I’d have used it in the original post luv, I purposefully avoided using them lmao you’re allowed to admit you’re biphobic! 

LGBT slurs can be used by all LGBT people

Seems like nobody is telling gay men they can’t say d*ke but the moment a bi wlw does it or a lesbian says f*g she gets doxxed lmao say you’re sexist and go

You all preach inclusivity and claim the anti-mogai shit is “tearing the community apart” but things like this make the community seem like an oppressed olympics. There is no inherent “bi privilege”. You’re being biphobic and likely sexist too <333

[fvkmyoneandonly]

LGBT slurs can be used by all LGBT people

Seems like nobody is telling gay men they can’t say d*ke but the moment a bi wlw does it or a lesbian says f*g she gets doxxed lmao say you’re sexist and go

You all preach inclusivity and claim the anti-mogai shit is “tearing the community apart” but things like this make the community seem like an oppressed olympics. There is no inherent “bi privilege”. You’re being biphobic and likely sexist too <333

[fvkmyoneandonly]

My therapist said self diagnosing is the worst thing someone could do to themselves. Please don’t self diagnose.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

Let me just inform you on what behaviors are very normal in adolescents.

Attention seeking, defiant and deviant behavior, vanity, egocentrism, mood swings, apathy, avoidance, anxiety, social anxiety, impulsivity and irritablity. This is all normal (to an extent) behavior in teenagers.

There is a very good reason why psychologist are not fond of diagnosing PDs in minors and it’s not because they don’t believe you. Your mind is drastically changing and there is no way to tell if your defiant behavior is just a phase that won’t ever develop into an antisocial personality, or if you rigid perfection is caused by obsessive compulsion or the pressure that comes with being a teenager. A psychologist can’t tell you if your constant need for validation is because your histrionic or because you’re a normal teenager, they can’t tell you if your avoidant or if you just feel awkward about puberty.

Children and teenagers are actually so different, psychologically, from adults that they have a whole field specifically for them. In fact some disorders have separate criteria that’s just for children/teenagers. There are even disorders that cannot be diagnosed in minors. For example, if you have all the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, meaning it goes beyond normal behavior for your age, you would not be diagnosed with aspd but conduct disorder.

None of this is to say that minors cannot have a PD, they can. PDs are thought to start in adolescents, the issue is that it is very hard to tell unless it is sever. Minors who do have PDs need a lot of support because of stigma. However, what I am saying is that you shouldn’t be so quick to think things such as, not wanting to be around your family and perfering to stay home and be with yourself, means you’re a schizoid.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

PSA

Self diagnosis honestly feels like a fucking mockery to actual diagnoses people. I don’t care if you are 99% sure you have it. I don’t care if you’ve dedicated years of research. It makes me feel like shit when these people describe being ‘quirky’ as being fucking autistic. You are ALLOWED to say “I think I may have *insert disorder here*”. But don’t fucking say you’re something when you aren’t. That’s like me saying “oh I’m aisian” without any evidence. Are you gonna believe me?! No. Who the hell would?! Crazy people on this fucking hell site.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

You can’t self diagnose yourself and self diagnosing is disrespectful to those who are actually diagnosed with actual mental disorders

Pass it on

[fvkmyoneandonly]

no <3

If you are anti self-dx, you are a classist.

[fvkmyoneandonly]

100% this, 10000x over.

“Psychiatrists are bad at diagnosing! They’re wrong all the time!”

8+ years of medical experience be damned, your 30 minute google search about mood swings is more than enough to justify your self dx of bipolar disorder!

People get upset about the economic aspect, but this is the best summation of why that isn’t an excuse that i’ve seen on this hellhole app. People under 18 can go to a school counselor for free. College kids can go to their student health services center for free or a discount price. Adults can also find free or discounted services if they actually look for them instead of cloutchasing with a woke tumblr post after looking at the first therapist they find and seeing that they don’t take insurance. 

Dear Selfdxers,

There is no easy way to say this, especially on a platform like Tumblr. Despite it, I know I need to get this off my chest. Do not EVER diagnose yourself with anything. You are NOT a professional and you do NOT have the years of training they go under. When you do this, you are an insult to the psychology field. I come from a line of mental disorders and those who are trained to recognize them. Although I am mostly clean of anything serious, I live in a house of people that aren’t.

ADHD, Autism, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety..

The list goes on for my brother and mother. I spent years taking care of them when their moods spiked and dropped and when the two clashed. Self dxers absolutely disgust me and I wonder how you can live with yourself like that. If you use self diagnosis, stop it and go to someone who is actually trained to figure out what’s wrong with you. If you can’t “afford” an appointment, then why the hell are you claiming to have this disorder anyway? You’re doing it for attention, that’s why. Yeah I may get some hate for this, but I don’t care. I have talked to my share of therapists and have even asked them their opinion on self dxers and the response is all the same: DO NOT DO IT. You are not qualified to make that decision. Got a problem with what I’m saying? Leave. It only proves you can’t handle the truth.