fuckyoualastor

[fuckyoualastor]

Why do you wear a bowtie instead of a regular tie?

I just find bowties to look classier and more inviting than ties.

No other reason.

[fuckyoualastor]

How did you die?

Revealing my death to the public would give others ideas, but I can say that it involved a television studio, a cable, and a jealous asshole.

[fuckyoualastor]

Hey a better outfit, yours sucks.

Learn to type because that cannot be a correct sentence.

Are you sure you want to comment on the outfit of an overlord? One who could easily make your life miserable?

Dramatic much.

They've got a point though.

SHUT IT!

[fuckyoualastor]

hi vox you’re super cool

tell me about your favorite types of sharks !

Thank you my dear! I also believe I'm pretty great.

I'm very fond of great hammerheads and great whites, but blacktip reef sharks are wonderful as well! Of course my very favorite sharks are my pet sharks.

[fuckyoualastor]

How does your mouth work?

You could think of it like a "pocket dimension" of sorts.

A space that's bigger than it looks from the outside. I can't say more about it though, since I myself am not even entirely sure.

[fuckyoualastor]

I demand a refund for my broken tv. It broke down the day after I purchased it.

Voxtek does not give refunds. Any and all purchased items are no longer voxteks responsibility after leaving the store.

If it broke then it's probably on you anyway, our products are top notch!

(the text is a more robotic sounding voice, like an automatic message)

[fuckyoualastor]

did u know ..

...Yes! I did know that. Do you have any more super interesting facts for us?

Actually, did you know that-

Okay no, I'm stopping you right here before you go off on a rant.

[fuckyoualastor]

Do you like this?

They're gorgeous darling. I assume you made these yourself?

Say, would you be interested in a merchandise designer position at Voxtek?

(thank you for the ask! Sorry for the lame reply, I don't get many asks so ya :'})

[fuckyoualastor]

Hey, remember me? I found Vals sunglasses at the store the other day. So, I went back, and I bought those fucking sunglasses out of spite. Not to you, but to val. All the best! ^^

OH YOU LITTLE WH-

VAL! shut it.

Anyways, they looks great. Although I would be careful where you wear them from now on :) just a word of advice.

I admire the dedication to fucking with val, you've got my respect for that.

All the best for you too, dear viewer!

[fuckyoualastor]

Yeah that sex was good and all but now I need to get back to telling you about deep sea creatures.

[fuckyoualastor]

Will VoxTech be releasing anything for pride month??? Any words for the public???

Me and my design team have been thinking if we should bring out anything special for the month, but nothing has been decided yet.

We're not making promises, since we don't want to bring out half assed products, but we will keep brainstorming and hopefully bring out something special!

I am pretty sure though that prides favorite designer and my dear associate Velvet will be bringing out a pride collection.

[fuckyoualastor]

Found your bf's fuckin' sunglasses at Wal-Mart the other day :0

Impossible! These were designer-

Shut up, val.

That is great. Though I suggest you don't buy or wear them if your life is dear to you. Val will feel insecure.

[fuckyoualastor]

What are they gonna do? Arrest us? During pride month? Homophobic.

happy first day of pride month

[fuckyoualastor]

Hello dear Customers and Viewers!

As we all know, Pride month has arrived. The month during which we celebrated our identity, who we love, and who we have and don't have sex with!

For this occasion, I would like to remind you all that we at VoxTek could not care less about who you love or have sex with. All we care about is your Entertainment and your safety!

We're in the pride ring here, be proud! And don't forget to trust us!

(and give us your money)

[fuckyoualastor]

Normal Tuesday afternoon. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Alastor kidnapping Vox (again)

[fuckyoualastor]

Liquid Breakfast! For when you have better shit to do then something as trivial as eating!

(VoxTek is not responsible for any health issues resulting from consuming Liquid Breakfast.)

VoxTek presents: Liquid Breakfast™! Trust us with your health!

[fuckyoualastor]

“bitches love me for my deeply tragic yearning concealed with corporate fraud and capitalistic mischief.”