friendofgum

[friendofgum]

I wonder if other people with sensory sensitivities are also struggling with the biological changes that come with aging

Just one example: my fingertips started to wrinkle about a year or two ago, and when it first started happening it drove me up the wall with discomfort because it felt like my fingers were always pruny, like I'd taken a bath for too long. I think I'm finally used to the feeling now but for awhile it was constantly nagging me

I'm hyperaware of all the little sensations happening around my body, and whenever something changes it sets off an alarm in my head telling me something is wrong! But in this case I'm telling the alarm to take a chill pill. No bitch, calm down, you're just getting old!!!

[friendofgum]

Tonight a car got pulled over (for speeding I assume) and they stopped at the gas station. The passenger got out and immediately started mouthing off at the cops, they told him to get back in the car, he yelled some more and then finally did

After they did the whole ticket interaction the passenger got out and came into the store to buy gas... he was ranting and raving the whole time

As he filled up what was apparently a gas can and not the car that was sitting there at the pump (?) he continued yelling at the police, who just kinda stood there watching him as they waited for backup

Then finally the driver got out and came inside to buy gas for the actual car... this poor man looked fucking TERRIFIED. And also embarrassed by his friend's behavior. But. Also. Legitimately terrified.

The driver was a dark-skinned man, and his passenger (who was still out there screaming at the cops) was white.

Seriously the fear in this man's eyes when I asked if he was going to be ok and the way he hesitated for a moment before saying yes

Listen, I don't disagree with ACAB and all that, but there is a time and a place, and the time is *not* when you're the passenger in a car with a black man driving who was just pulled over for speeding... like he could easily have taken what was just a speeding ticket and escalated it into something really terrible! In the end fortunately the cops just let them go, but holy shit. Don't fucking do that to someone you'd consider a "friend"!!

[friendofgum]

Man fuck this job I am so done I'm turning in my two weeks tonight

Over the span of about a month and a half I have been robbed twice, overheard two men planning a robbery (they changed their mind and left after i called my bf to come hang out before i would unlock the door) had to clean up a bag of fentanyl that someone tried to hide behind some chips (it fucking spilled everywhere, that was fun to deal with) and I've gotten a write-up because of some bullshit with the computer and the gas pump making my register look short. Admittedly that last one was my fault because I entered a thing incorrectly but in my defense I wasn't properly trained, just kinda thrown out there and ive been just figuring shit out on my own this whole time. I've never been written up at a job EVER IN MY LIFE

I am SO DONE WITH THIS FUCKING PLACE

And the shitty thing is, I knew it would be bad! And I knew if I had a bad time I'd never be able to come back to this gas station as a customer again! But I didn't think it would be THIS BAD!

I honestly don't even know what I expected, i guess

But I've never noped out of a job after such short a time

Fuck.

[friendofgum]

It's the second time in the past year that an 80+ yr old lady has asked if I was pregnant, and when I said no responded with "well, maybe you should be!" 😭

Oddly specific that the conversation had gone the exact same way twice!

But also now I'm hella self conscious about my belly again 🥲

It is kinda weirdly bloated in proportion to the rest of my body tho? I wonder if that has something to do with whatever medical condition I have. Or maybe it's just genetics cuz I feel like I'm shaped very similar to my mother.

I do wish old ladies would stop asking if I'm pregnant though... I'm definitely not and don't want to be 😭😭😭

[friendofgum]

I have been such a shitty friend and I feel horrendous

I stopped responding to messages on fb messenger about 5-6 months ago because... well I don't know. Partly social anxiety, partly because it felt like any time I wanted to talk to someone else my partner would get impatient if I wasn't paying attention to him, and weirdly jealous if it was a guy. Trying to navigate friendships AND a relationship felt like too much of a chore so I just gave up. Admittedly I kind of resent my relationship for that. All of my friendships have pretty much fizzled and faded at this point. I still care deeply about all of these people, but it's been so long since I've talked to any of them that I don't know what to say. It's been years for some of them. I know they can't still consider me a "good friend" anymore, because I haven't been there for them the way a friend should.

Anyway I just found out one of my best friends since high school got married earlier this month. He'd been messaging me about it for months. I was invited to the wedding. But I didn't know because I didn't check my messages. So I missed it.

I sent him a congrats but he seems upset with me now. Understandably so. I feel like such a dick. I'm upset with myself.

Fml.

[friendofgum]

Annoying that my brain keeps cycling over this traumatic event again and again, but when enough time has passed I'm sure I'll be able to look back and laugh, because it is kind of objectively funny

Two robbers walked in, expecting to take over the store and make me their hostage, but what they did not expect was for me to have the reaction time and flight response of a small prey animal

I dropped the still-on vacuum I was holding and shouted "NOPE, BYEEEE" as I ran out the door 🤣

[friendofgum]

Lmao wow the tourists are in town and being a pedestrian is HAZARDOUS today

I just stopped someone from going the wrong way down a one way road

And after I continued walking, I heard someone lay on their horn behind me

I turned around, and AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CAR TRIED TO GO THE WRONG WAY DOWN THAT SAME ONE WAY STREET

[friendofgum]

I got robbed at work AGAIN tonight 😭

I was vacuuming the rugs by the door and two people walked in with bandanas covering their faces

The guy had his hand in his pocket like he was holding a weapon, and he said "this is a stickup"

Then he started explaining what he wanted me to do, something about opening the register and locking myself in the bathroom, but I didn't listen.. because I was right by the door I just ran outside in a panic

Adrenaline kicked in and I ran home (I live very close) to get my boyfriend and use his phone to call 911, since I left my phone inside

(My knee hurts like a motherfucker but it's good to know I can still run in an emergency)

When I came back I discovered they couldn't figure out how to open the register, so they just stole a few cartons of cigarettes instead

It's been a month. I've been robbed twice. IT'S BEEN ONE MONTH.

[friendofgum]

[friendofgum]

In all seriousness though, please stop harassing McDonald's employees over this!! They can't fix the machine for you and I promise they are just as annoyed about it as you are, if not more because they have to hear customers complain about it 100x a day

[friendofgum]

I finally watched the presidential debate... I got through about 10 minutes before I shut it off out of despair

Biden looks utterly exhausted, beaten up, worn down, and burnt out. I actually feel bad for him. I can't imagine how stressful the last 4 years have been.

And then you've got Trump over there just spewing pure bullshit, and Biden doesn't have the energy to knock it all down because how could he, there's SO MUCH. It's impossible to argue with someone who is so out of touch with reality and so confident in being wrong.

I have often been critical of the current administration, and I don't agree with everything Biden has said and done, but holy shit I can't imagine what an incredible disaster another Trump presidency would be. I think he has a real chance at winning this, and that's absolutely fucking terrifying.

[friendofgum]

So.

After my one coworker stole a bunch of lotto tickets and then disappeared,

Another coworker quit without notice

AND THEN

We just found out that ANOTHER person was stealing lotto tickets!! (Hey did you know they can actually track when and where they get cashed out?? This man cashed the stolen tickets at his own store, on his shift, when he was the only person working)

So NOW WE'RE DOWN BY THREE

And there's a total of 3 people left (that includes one manager) to run a 24hr store 😭

The owner is currently working on hiring new people asap, and I still can't believe I've been here less than a month and I'm about to have seniority lmao

The shitty thing is, I can't help but feel somehow partially responsible for all this madness because everything was mostly fine before I showed up 🫣

But I didn't... do anything? I wonder if the robbery and the way it was handled by the owner kind of shook people up, and then the double whammy of finding out the security cameras don't work added some temptation to the mix. Is me just existing as a small-statured female cashier alone late at night in the store enough to cause problems just by itself? Apart from that one incident, I haven't had any problems, and no one has stolen from or threatened me on my shifts. But I still can't help but wonder if me working late is somehow asking for trouble?

At the moment though I am the ONLY person willing to work graveyard, apart from the manager who usually has to be there during the day to deal with shipments and stuff, so... 🤷‍♀️

[friendofgum]

Wheeeew.

My coworker got fired for stealing a fuck ton of lotto scratchers (like $5k worth) so now I'm working his shifts as well as my own until they can find a replacement

Tomorrow I'm doing a 12hr graveyard shift 😭😭😭

(I did volunteer tho... I really need the money rn so I couldn't say no tbh)

[friendofgum]

The only good thing about long COVID is that it made the medical community admit myalgic encephalomyelitis is likely caused my viral exposure. We were like “Hey, I had a virus and just never got better.” and doctors were like “That’s silly. And stupid. Chronic fatigue syndrome is just a random vague constellation of symptoms. Or just depression. It’s all in your head.” and now doctors are experiencing it.

[friendofgum]

I know PTSD doesn't make sense and isn't at all logical but I'm still seriously annoyed with my brain for the way it's chosen to focus on this robbery incident that happened on Saturday

I literally had a dream about it last night, that I saw a guy that matched the description without the hood and mask, and I was looking real intently at his eyes because that was the only identifying thing I could see about him when it happened

When I'm at work, every time I open the register my heart leaps just the tiniest bit in anticipation that they're gonna jump the counter

I'm so tired of this, like can we please not do this right now? My mental health is messed up enough, I am begging my brain to stop 😭

[friendofgum]

I brought some change from home so if someone buys something small late at night I don't have to open the register in front of them

But then a very old lady came in, dumped a bunch of change on the counter, and said she needed to use all of it for gas

So we sat there counting change for about 5 minutes, and I quietly added everything I brought to her pile as we counted

It ended up being about $9... and at least $2 of that was pennies 😳