finding-cydni

[finding-cydni]

Is Christianity Dying?

Why is the American Christian Population declining in America?

Have we become so desensitized to things in the World that we have become heartless?

Why is it Christianity that seems to be growing everywhere else in the World, but Americans are staying stagnant in their faith?

What are we doing that seems to be driving believers from the pews and to atheistic beliefs, agnosticism, and other religions?

Are we not showing true fruit? How can we have so many churches in a Country and see such little growth in believers?

And if we are creating new believers, are we building Disciples? Sometimes I believe we seem to be so focused on salvation that we forget to disciple others in their faith walk. The Books of 1st and 2nd Timothy tell us alone that it is very important to "raise up" believers who will be awoken to the Spirit and have an established relationship with Jesus!

Jesus never commanded us to make church members but He called us to make disciples, (Romans 28:18-20). We have to get away from the numbers game we seem to keep playing at and truly grasp what Christ is saying to us. It’s time for the Church to wake up, turn away from culture, (Romans 12:1-2) and be true members of the church. Not sorta kindas, but followers of the TRUTH!! (John 8:32)

So many times, we are afraid that we may be offending someone because we choose to live our lives fully and wholly for Jesus. The Lord calls us to lay down our lives and take up our cross and follow him. What can a man gain if he loses his soul? (Matthew 16:24-27)

What Christ has for us is greater than anything the world has to offer. We the American Christian need to awaken anew to the love of Christ. We need to go on a journey to find the Lord truly and wholly. Forsaking the things of the flesh and pursuing Him like it is our only morsel in life.

We need to come back to the Father and let go of the lukewarm Christianity that we have been chasing and understand how great the Love of the Father is for us. We have become desensitized to the problems of the world. we have become desensitized the true meaning of what it means to be a Christ-follower. We are forgetting the true meaning of what it means to live for and in the Lord. Christ dwells in us. Holy Spirit lives within us. He is our advocate and He is calling us back to the Way.

We must bend the knee! We must come to see, He is the only way Through him I will find safe passage, I will see the light For in Him I will find my very life!!

[finding-cydni]

unlovable

Dealing with depression is hard for anyone. And having to deal with it most of your life; not being able to share with others what you are going through; because you have always been programmed to deal with your feelings. Always told that seeking help is a weakness. This is a sad thing to say to a kid, but that is part of my culture. We have suffered so much through the years and have been taught that we do not matter. So now we move into the next… Growing up thinking you do not matter or what you say is irrelevant leads you to believe you do not matter. This is something that I have always struggled with since I can remember. Feeling irrelevant and unlovable. Don’t get me wrong many people love me and have loved me in their own way, but I have always felt like it was a conditioned love; thus, making me feel like I do not matter. As some who as always struggled with finding her identity in others, my sense of being wasn’t complete without some showing value in me. As a teenager and in my 20s I lived to please others. My sole purpose was to make sure I made everyone happy, no matter how I felt. Living these unhealthy relationships brought about my dilemma of feeling unlovable. As I look back on all the failed relationships that I have been in I wonder where did I go wrong. (I know that these relationships were not in God’s will for me.) We know that these failed ships in our life are not our fault, but it still leaves one wondering. As I have reached the age of 35 wondering why am I not married? Why is there no one out there that wants me? Again, even though these thoughts are not true, it still leaves one wondering. Maybe I am unlovable because I always push people away because I do not want to be hurt anymore. I do not want to put myself in a situation that will allow some to take my heart, rip it out, and toss it into the trash leaving me to dive in the garbage and dig it out again. I’m probably the most guarded person there is! I pray that I can open up my heart to allow someone inside again one day. But in all honesty, he’s gone to have to be willing to work for it. This here love is not going to come easy. But I do believe whomever the Lord has for me will have insight from the Holy Spirit on how to deal!! (LOL) Yet, when you have been abused and used for most of your life it is easy to become guarded. There are 35 years of hurt and pain built up in this human being. And as I follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and write these blogs maybe the healing will come. I am not a very forthcoming person, but again God is dealing with these. So, I will one day find that love that I want, but don’t want at the same time (that’s just fear talking)!! My departing words for this week is, even though we may feel unlovable or unworthy of love know this GOD SAYS WE ARE HIS BELOVED AND THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE THAN THE LOVE OF THE FATHER. HIS LOVE IS UNSHAKEABLE, HIS LOVE IS UNFAILING AND FULL OF GRACE AND MERCY. IT WILL NEVER LEAVE US NOT FORSAKE US!!

[finding-cydni]

Confessions!!

As one who as dealt with depression herself since she was young, probably realizing what it was when I was about 10. Always feeling lonely wishing there was someone who could just relate to me. Wanting someone to understand the hurt and shame I felt as a young child.

No one ever came to rescue me from my hurt and shame. I felt like I never really had anyone to help me through my struggles in life. Having absentee parents is really hard sometimes. You wish you could go to them to talk about you issues but there is never anyone there to talk to. No one to understand the shame you are facing.  

I always wondered why it has always been so hard for me to talk to people; to relate to them in any way. I always felt out of place never felt as if I belonged anywhere.

When you have always felt this way; it leaves a darkness inside of you that you don’t even realize until it is time to share with others or get to know them. You automatically close a part of yourself off and never allow anyone to actually reach this part of you.

You become distant and unreachable, yet at the same time you want some to reach out to you! You are inwardly crying for someone to see you!! TO REALLY SEE YOU!!

The reason I am sharing this is because the HOLY SPIRIT has been dealing with me about dealing with my feelings. Not internalizing everything. I must also confess that I am afraid to share with others. People tend to judge you and I don’t want to be judge. I want to say I don’t care what others think, but that would be a lie.

I have always been someone who has been good at hiding herself. I can literally be in a crowd of people and if I don’t want to be seen I will not. I am good at being a surface dweller. I have spent most of my life hiding.

Even as a believer I try to hide things from God, (how ironic, right!!) How can we hide from God? The eternal sees and knows all, even our deepest thoughts. Yet even if He knows, He still wants us to open up and talk to Him about our issues. And I’m not talking about the surface issues, the ones you have been hiding form Him since the beginning, the ones you think He doesn’t know about.

To be honest I am tired of hiding but at the same time I do not want to be vulnerable. To me vulnerability is a weakness, and weakness is not allowed!! For someone who sees weakness as cowardice it is hard to be vulnerable. Yet deep down inside I do.

Now saying this, it leads to my trust issues, if I feel like I can not open up to someone that means I do not trust anyone.

This is something I have prayed about with God for sure. I want to trust others, but the only way this will be accomplished is for me to be open with others, (cringe face).

I’m going to end this blog section here and we will continue this next week… (pray for me!!)

[finding-cydni]

This is what boredom does to you! #artisto #art #sortakinda

[finding-cydni]

#dinner #flatbreadpizza #onions #peppers #spinach #turkeypepperoni #mozzarella #delicious! OMG this is so good! #foodporn

[finding-cydni]

Loving one's self is hard to do. Especially in a world that constantly tells you, you're too black, too fat, too skinny, your nose is to big... My response to those ppl... WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK?! My identity is not found in ppl, it's found in Christ! I'm working on a better me. It's for me not you, or you, or you sitting behind that person. I love me, Jesus loves me and quite frankly that's all that matters! 🖖👌😁😀😍💣 #loveyourself #youreworthit #yourebeautiful

[finding-cydni]

You can do whatever you believe you can do! God has equipped you with everything you need to get it done! So get up and get it! 💪😍😁😀💣👌🖖 #morning #bemotivated #beblessed #getupandgetit #hustlehard #grindharder #jesusismyguide #youreworthit #dontgiveuponyou #presson #pressin #Jesuslovesyou #nevergiveup #neversurrender

[finding-cydni]

Tips I've learned from being a hairstylist that I'd like to share with you:

1. Don’t wear your ponytail, bun, or clip in the same spot everyday. This can cause friction that will eventually cause breakage. Instead, mix it up by wearing your ponytail higher or lower or to the side. You could even try a braid.

2. It’s healthier to NOT wash your hair everyday if you can. When you wash your hair, you strip the scalp of it’s natural oils that moisturize the hair. I know you can’t always skip shampooing, especially if you workout everyday or your hair gets greasy after one day of not washing. You don’t have to skip shampoo too many days in a row, just try every other day.

3. Static in the hair is caused by lack of moisture. Lack of moisture can be caused by washing your hair too much, using alcohol based products (such as hairspray or mousse), salt water, chlorine water, using too much or too high of heat on your hair, or simply by not conditioning enough.

4. When you condition your hair, don’t put it on the scalp. Only put in on the mid shaft and ends. Why not put it on the scalp? Because of those natural oils I mentioned earlier. They’ll moisturize the hair near the scalp.

5. You only need to condition Every other day or a few times a week. Make at least two of those times a deep conditioner.

6. Chlorine can dry and damage your hair. One way to help prevent this is to get your hair wet before going swimming. Your hair is like a sponge, it sucks up and holds water. If there’s already water in your hair when you go swimming, it makes it harder for chlorine water to get in and stay.

7. Please use a thermal protector when flat ironing, curling , and blow drying. It will not prevent damage altogether, but it will cut down on it. There are blow-dry cremes and sprays out there that are just for styling and not protecting. Make sure it actually says on the bottle ‘thermal protectant’. My favorite is Redken’s Iron Shape. Just about every salon sells it.

8. Acne: There are several causes, hormones, stress, bacteria, poor diet. Zits on the neck or jawline are usually caused by hormones (puberty, your period). Those you can’t really prevent/heal without acne cream. Acne on your cheeks is most likely cause by poor diet. Cut down on sugars, processed foods, and bad fats. Zits along the hairline at usually caused by stress. Another cause of zits may be from bacteria on your pillow case. Wash your pillow case every other day. On days you don’t wash it, flip over so you always have a clean side to sleep on. Another way to keep your face clean is to actually clean it with face wash. Make sure it isn’t one that is too abrasive. Also, avoid touching your face a lot. Oils from your hand can build up on your face and cause zits.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’ll try to add more later.

[finding-cydni]

#beblessed #beawesome #newdaynewstart #onedayatatime #jesusismyguide #Godlife #dontgiveuponyou #youreworthit #teamjesus

[finding-cydni]

#confessionsofafoodaddict #clamingfreedom #speakitintoexistence #dontgiveuponyou #presson #jesusismyguide #Godlife #onedayatatime #nevergiveup #neversurrender #itsabattleinthemind #themindisthebattlefield

[finding-cydni]

#newdaynewstart #newgoals #consistencyiskey #nevergiveup #neversurrender #presson #jesusismyguide #Godlife #dontgiveuponyou #youreworthit #onedayatatime Just know how many times I mess up with my diet even slow progress is progress! Food and I have a love hate relationship! #suckerforpain

[finding-cydni]

#todaysshenanigans #gymflow #workout #fitness #fitminded #onedayatatime #letsgetit

[finding-cydni]

#beblessed #Jesuslovesyou #onedayatatime #newdaynewstart #newgoals #consistencyiskey #nevergiveup #neversurrender #presson #jesusismyguide #Godlife #dontgiveuponyou #youreworthit (at Around The Clock Fitness)

[finding-cydni]

#Jesuslovesyou #beblessed #beawesome #newdaynewstart #onedayatatime #whynotme #imworthy #youreworthit #nevergiveup #neversurrender #presson #jesusismyguide #Godlife #dontgiveuponyou

[finding-cydni]

#onedayatatime #everydayisanewstart #jesusismyguide #fitness #fitminded #hopeprayingfasting #trustingGod #nomoreexcuses #whynotme #lovingme #mindchange #dailyinspiration #beblessed #blackgirlmagic #blackgirlsrock #nevergiveup #neversurrender #presson

[finding-cydni]

#helpmeLordJesus #prayforme #mylatterwillbegreater

[finding-cydni]

#fitness #fitminded #fatgirlproblems #onedayatatime #consistencyiskey #dontgiveuponyou #getuptryagain #loveyourself #beblessed #memoirsofafoodaddict #confessionsofafoodaddict #loveyourself #lifestylechange #bepersistent