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This is my Hummingbird guitar. #sosweet! (at Bellevue, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/CM-xOUghabm/?igshid=1fwvc8bmrhdsj

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https://joinsequel.com/Fairy-Tales-For-The-Seventh-Son/HM6reKlAFXni1VhTnMsq

Please donate some $$ and subscribe to my story Fairy Tales For The Seventh Son: The Mermaid’s Grace.

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I know I haven’t been in here much lately but I can use all the help I can get to bring this out.

~Rochelle, epicfics/Be_The_Spark

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I ukuleled Ingrid Michaelson’s original piece. Minimal autotuning. Sorry I’m still learning!

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me me me me!

LET YOUR ART BE UGLY!!! LET YOUR WRITING BE BAD!!! DANCE OFFBEAT!!! SING OFF KEY!!! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET YOUR FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH PREVENT YOU FROM LEARNING AND ENJOYING NEW THINGS!!! 

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Things I’m working on

In case anyone was interested in where I’ve been:

Musicals

* The Hadrilian Chronicles - an exiled race that gains magical powers through song seeks a way home, while a threat to their existence stalks them in our world.

* Humans the Musical

* Limitless (tv series based)

* Daredevil

Novel

* Avalon Awakening - reincarnated Morgan le Fay begins a road of redemption

Scripts

* collab high school drama (untitled)

Shorts

* The Gospel of Cadia - a modern day, gender bent Jesus story

Podfics

*Tracking Source Code, for Humans

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She’s Back: New Works & WTFs

Hi friends! 

So I put my novel on hold for a while - I can only finish one project at a time and surprise! I’m working on a scripted series with an independent production company. The guy in charge has pretty much given me free reign and creative control, on the condition that we’ll be ready to cast and film by February. This approaching deadline is stressing me out slightly - I mean it was my idea. It’s a musical program, and it turned out to be too pricey to hire actual musicians and composers, so I’ve got like six weeks to figure out how to Lin-Manuel Miranda the shit out of it. 

Meanwhile, I neglect dumblr for a month or two in favor of this project and it decides to evaporate the iOs app, and yes I’ve been using this site mainly through my iPhone. This is ridiculous af. No way am I going to look through every thing I’ve ever posted to make sure it’s all Disney-fied.

Anyways, the musical. Something I’ve always wanted to do. It’s based off my first story, started over sixteen years ago. Fresh from seeing Lord of the Rings, I really really wanted to create an epic fantasy. The Hadrilian Chronicles is a story about a kingdom that banished a race of people that were begifted elemental powers from a fallen star. Their magic comes to life with Music, which has become a sort of religion to them - they sing, their broken pieces or the star absorb the magic, and then they can control the air, water, etc. 

Here’s a bit of the rough pilot:

“OVERTURE”

Fade In:

Carly’s Bedroom

DREW is tucking his five year old daughter Carly into a  bed of ruffled pink sheets. Around the child are stuffed toys and fairy tale books.

DREW

Alright. Sweet dreams, Rapunzel.

 CARLY

I don’t wanna be Rapunzel.

 DREW

But we just read about her. And I always get to call you  the -

 CARLY

Can I be a new princess, Daddy?

 DREW

And which princess would Carly like to be?

 CARLY

What about the princess from Mommy’s book?

 DREW

Hmm, I’m not sure Mommy wants you to even read her books.

CARLY

How come?

 DREW

It’s not a fun story. Your mom says Princess Shauna doesn’t  get a happy ending.

 CARLY

Just read the beginning, please?

 DREW

The Hadrilian Chronicles. First Chapter, Overture. In a land where a splash of sun kissed green valleys -

Pauses, picks up his guitar and begins to play and sing.

(OVERTURE)

In a land, where a splash of sun kissed green valleys til  the day was done

And the moon graced a cloak of stars over a people very much like ours.

Then fell one. The legend of one fallen star, cast out of the heavens from afar; 

So bright, so fast, it tore the valley apart

As the people gathered round, they heard an ethereal sound   

A voice singing; a glowing woman bringing a message to all

“I am a Muse for The Song,” she said

“See this star that still burns, it isn’t dead. And you are all now blessed. This rock before you is a gift.”

She said, “Love, live in peace, pray with music. Its power shall take care of the rest.”

This was how the Jians were born 

The Song gave them magic from the earth.

But the king of Hadrilia began to spread hate like  thorns. 

He thought, What would happen to my line if the Jians wanted what was mine?

He wanted to drive them away, but first to go turned out to be the little girl he’d raised. 

Her name was Shauna, and she never smiled 

the whole ten years while she was a princess of the court. 

She was cursed even before prophecy called her so…the Ender.

When under a night without stars, 

the real threat revealed itself to be The Silence.

Adversary of The Song, killed all Music and its power 

Wanted nothing but for its messenger

 A Reaper, to steal the souls of The  Song’s servants

For purposes unknown.

It’s okay, Carly

Let’s skip to the ending. 

Before the Jians could be harmed, the princess found out, was alarmed.

She took them away, to a place without bad kings or Reapers. 

They could sing and stay keepers of the ways of the Song.

 CARLY

What happens to Shauna?

 DREW

Happily ever after.

 CARLY

I’ll ask Mommy to write one for her.

 DREW

Okay. Goodnight, Princess Shauna.

switches off ceiling lights, turns on night light 

transitions to DREW at a nightclub, playing for a half empty bar, 

(NEVER HOME) 

DREW

There’s something in the air

An aching thirst

It reminds me

Of why I’m never home

Pick your poison

Just know a pair

Of wide blue eyes will see

And you’ll have to choose

Whether you or she

Has the nightmare tonight

Could you really kill her light?

Never go home

cuts to BRODY at his apartment, opening a letter. 

BRODY

My son, I’m just writing to say

You’re nearing your final day

Use what’s left of your time

To save our kind  

 There’s frost in the air out there

Always a sky, no matter where

I may be cursed to live here

But I don’t wanna die

 Oh the death-black night is waiting

To take me to the unknown

Some texts are better left on the shelf

Cheap fairy tales, don’t even bother

Trash the letters from a bailing father

I was an orphan before he vanished

I was homeless before I was banished

And now the death-black night is waiting for me

But not go anywhere I know

Not that it hardly matters

Because I was never home

 outside the apartment SHAUNA is watching.

SHAUNA

I can taste the tears in the air

Will the sky cry first, or will I?

I may be cursed to live out here

But to live I must try

 Whether or not I believe in destiny

It still calls, waiting

But what can I do

When the beginning is you

And the ending is me

The Ender is coming for the throne

Or else I’m never going home

 DREW

Are the sins of the father taught

Or are they in the blood?

Can redemption be bought

Or is it up to God?

cut to TAM in a field under the stars

TAM

Oh, what has gone wrong?

I pray to The Song

Haven’t I don’t all that is needed?

Why haven’t you heeded

Or helped me with my quest?

Why where we sent here?

What’s happened in Hadrilia?

How can we go back?

Oh how can we go back?

Why are we not welcome –

 DREW/BRODY/SHAUNA/TAM

Home

 DREW

The sins of the father

 BRODY

The curse of the son

 SHAUNA

Destiny of the daughter

TAM

The will of The Song

 DREW/BRODY/SHAUNA/TAM

Every time I wonder from where so much pain can come

My past provides no answer

 DREW

Because I’m never

 BRODY

Because I never had a

 SHAUNA

Because I’m never going

 TAM

Home!

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- carol gilligan

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Updated through chapter 10.

Whew. Between my god awful German, the hilariously eccentric caretaker Weiss’s crusty accent, and Niska’s explosive confrontation with Leo, I am sufficiently exhausted.

And then - that scene. Have any of you ever tried reading a love scene aloud?  And because I wasn’t expecting I’d ever actually record it, I wrote it with a bit less inhibition than I would have if I’d known. Basically, it was all hot and romantic and rather awkward to narrate.

IMPORTANT

*I changed my username on SoundCloud so the old url does NOT work. Please use the link above for access to the entire playlist.*

One other thing - It says I updated through chapter 10, but I’ve recorded up to chapter 12. There are 14 total chapters in this fic, and the remaining ones are quite short. I just wanted to thank anyone who has forgiven my terrible accents and occasionally shoddy editing and continued to listen. 

I kind of wish the Humans cast/crew could know about this story, and I wish even more that I can one day do something like this again.

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First lines meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 10 published stories. Look to see if there are any pattern that you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any! Tag up to 10 friends!

I was tagged by @turned-her-brain to list the first lines of the last ten fics I’ve made. At the bottom I made some observations about my writing patterns and now I’m wondering if there’s anything about it I’ve missed? Anyone? 

I wasn’t sure whether the intention was to go by date of completion, of which I don’t have enough fics, or by date updated. So I’m just going by order of first chapter posted.

1)   Joe Hawkins's Guide To Parenting (taken from chapter 2, where the actual story begins)

Fandom: Humans

At seven-thirty, the morning light was glinting through the dirt-streaked windows; it fractured along the cream-painted walls folding around a quilted white bed.

 2)  Family Tree

Fandom: Humans

Mattie didn’t want to speak to anyone.

 3)  Divine Secrets of The Cyberhood Sisters

Fandom: Humans  

The cabin had been empty.

 4)  15 After Zero

Fandom: Humans  

My name is Louisa Bell.

 5)  Heaven Raining

Fandom: Humans

Dusk was fading in.

 6)  No Sharing At The Breakfast Table

Fandom: Humans  

Breakfast with the Hawkins family felt like a game of musical chairs.

 7)  Sleep On The Floor

Fandom: Humans

 “C’mon, what’ll move you?” muttered Leo, turning a wrench counter-clockwise into an engine rivet.

 8)  Off Day

Fandom: The Defenders

The jet-black limousine had been expensive.

 9)  spychics

Fandom: Riverdale

No one had told Betty she was going to church.

   10) South Side Story

Fandom: Riverdale

From a number of ways to look at it, getting into prison was easy.

 What I notice – god I love my cryptic one-liners. They tend to be on the short side, and vague enough to design intrigue. Basically, I like starting a reader’s thought with a question mark.

I’d rather not tag anyone but if anyone does want to do this please tag me back in your post!

Find these stories and more under the username Be_the_Spark at Archive of Our Own!

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FYI: publishing soon

I’m just about done with my debut novel. I know this seems like a fanfiction/Humans blog, but this book is like my biggest original fanfiction ever.

Characters unconscious of their complicated past lives? That’s Once Upon a Time.

Those characters? You’ll know the names from Merlin but this is my own spin on Arthurian legend.

In the year 2107 A.D., the British Isles are home to the ruins of civilization. All nineteen-year-old Ava McCaleigh wants is to have her family safely reunited on their rustic Irish homestead, but an ancient prophecy promising the return of King Arthur in Britain’s darkest hour charts her destiny in another direction. When The Knights of Penny Hill come for Ava, she learns that the Knights are gathering the reincarnated players from the legendary court of Camelot in order to rebuild their utopian kingdom.

Befriending the reincarnations of King Arthur, Queen Guinevere, along with Connor, the mage apprentice of Merlin himself, Ava finds herself belonging to a community for the first time in her life. Yet no one knows Ava’s dangerous secret – her soul belongs to King Arthur’s greatest enemy, Morgan le Fay. Exposure means expulsion from Camelot and certain death. But her fate was foretold long ago, and if Ava so chooses to awaken the infamous sorceress within herself, she might have the power to save Camelot….or destroy it.

When I was born, it was to a storm like this one. Risa rarely speaks of the stranger anymore, the one who appeared at the door in the old London house. She whispered once, while we were waiting out the last pirate raid, that she remembered Mum and Dad being told that my first word would be my last. I should have told her then what I had been told two years before that, the day that Will left us. A stranger said I would someday leave as well.

Imagine what the town would say to my destiny? Ava McCaleigh, too mute to be pretty and too English to have a family stitch.

I want that on my headstone.

With each raindrop that hits the house, I realize more strongly that maybe, just maybe, I’ve never seen a day that wasn’t odd in my life. There’s nothing to be done about it yet, so I sit on the porch and wait for lightning to strike.

*AVALON AWAKENING, chapter 1*

**Coming (hopefully) this October!!**

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New Humans Message Board

Because I couldn’t find one before. I know how it looks - hopefully if we can keep it up and running I’ll invest some money and buy the actual domain.

 HUMANS TALK website  

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Introduce yourself! musical style!!

I’d like to know the stories of my followers.

if you can kindly share who you are through a Broadway tune, I feel this would be a brilliant way to learn what we don’t know about each other.

btw, not going to annoy people but if they want to be super awesome

@erudite-princess @turned-her-brain and @wellamarke

hope you guys don’t leave me alone on stage!!

I’ll start with mine - it’s not at all in sync with the music. and it reveals too much and i sound whiny.

anyhow -

(to the tune of Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton)

How does an asexual, autistic bipolar daughter of a poor girl and an alcoholic

Dragged from Oakland to Portland then Seattle, rise above the pettiness& prattle, turn into an altruistic storyteller

the left-handed loner living with her mother and younger sister in a small apartment, eating the same stir fry every night, wearing the same uniform every day for Catholic Hellementary education

And every day her classmates would push her off the benches, her teachers would threaten her with detention for looking at the clock, they told her that she wouldn’t pass grades six, seven, eight, they had no idea her social ineptitude was a condition, that they were practicing discrimination

Meanwhile all she wanted was a friend

The boys put nastygrams in her pencil box

The girls left death threats in her locker

It got to the point where one boy stole her lunch and started throwing rocks

Well she tried to get involved and joined the yearbook staff

Tried out for the school play, got the lead role as villain

But when the time came where she was supposed to announce her future goals

All she wanted was a birthday where soneone cared she’d lived another year

She just wanted someone to remember her name

*There’s a million things she hasn’t done*

*But just you wait*

When she started public school, everything so bright and new

She thought this is it

I’m gonna find my own fit

instead it was four years

her name never found a hit

Graduated, lost two jobs within a space of six months

Stopped eating and stopped sleeping all at once

Started seeing things, and hearing voices telling her she wasn’t worth the help

Her family saying they can’t fix her by themselves

She came out of the hospital with a pen and an imagination worth ten thousand minds

She started on her first rough draft story about a red-haired princess who found out she was illegitimate

A girl who’d seen her mother murdered as a child, filling up with her own-self hate

The most depressed selfless heroine that you’ll ever see

put into a high fantasy novel that will never be

For once there’s something she can try to be

She watched soap operas to learn how to talk to you

Read to learn the basic social cues

Wore out a computer or two

Just you wait

There’s a million things I haven’t done

Just you wait, Just you wait!!

One day I’ll rewrite the game, put the spectrum in the literary zone

Use the profits, pay them forward to anyone who’s ever felt alone

Know my name

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so awesome!! thank you, i didn’t even see some of these before!

You guys?? I now have 100 works posted to AO3 for Humans alone… apparently this is how I’ve chosen to spend my twenties, and I regret absolutely nothing 😂

There are 405 tagged fics for the show, meaning that I account for close to a quarter of them. Can I put that on my CV? Is that a thing?

Anyway, to mark this utter non-event, here is a shameless “top 10” of fics that I especially enjoyed writing, in order of publication…

1. Away (future-fic Leotilda, my first stand-alone)

2. In Touch (1-2 hiatus fic, the longest thing I’ve ever written, incomplete but not technically abandoned yet)

3. a shred of comfort (collection of 3 drabbles from the first Humans fanwork challenge. The middle one, about Fred, is for some reason one of my all-time favourites)

4. the last thing we lose (Laura & Astrid talk after the trial)

5. probability (a one-shot that’s all that’s left of a grand AU dream I once had, in which Mattie knew Leo before his accident)

6. a sailor’s heart is never run aground (I love this silly pirate AU that isn’t even a pirate AU)

7. staring at the end (Joe and Laura talk after s2)

8. on top of things (Max helps Mia come to terms with Ed’s betrayal. I haven’t even reread this to see it it fits with s3 canon…)

9. Call Her (prediction fic for Mia and Niska’s s3 conversation)

10. no more warmth, now she’s not home (Max struggles to cope with a Post-Flash world)

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.

Keep reading

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i’d like this.

anonymously tell me what my specialty as a fanfiction writer is

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Divine Secrets of the Cyberhood Sisters, pt 3

*** NISKA ***

Niska sat inside the cabin, staring at the stationary sack of groceries on the table as though it might perform a magic trick. The last shard of sunlight was fading through the cabin’s kitchen window, and she could practically hear it crying for rescue. She was Niska, she was V, she was no one, she was everyone…round and round the identities within her quarreled, with Niska fighting a push to the front. She understood the task at hand was fundamental, that V was fundamental. But as long as Astrid Schaeffer walked the earth, Niska Elster still lived on.

Back when Astrid and Niska were first getting to truly know one another, gaining new information was like collecting stars. The facts were small, precious, few and far between. Niska was reserved by nature, but carefree Astrid strived for a balance in their dynamics. Where Niska lacked in conversation, Astrid overcompensated. And the things Niska did share were met with silence. Finally realising that their relationship was hardly balanced by this way too, Astrid had proposed a new strategy. And right now, Niska could visualise her sitting at their table again, dipping a spoon into some creamy fruit yogurt.

Let’s play a game, she said at random.

Of what?  Niska was wary. The last game of Astrid’s she’d played had been in their bed, and resulted in learning she was ticklish. The sensation involved had not been a pleasant discovery for her.

I guess something about you that you haven’t told me. If I’m right, you admit it and I get to go again. If I’m wrong, it’s your turn to guess something about me.

That sounds like a very boring game.

It would only be boring if I already knew stuff about you, Astrid reasoned stubbornly.

So they played. Astrid had called it Twenty Questions, but they’d in fact reached a total of two hundred seventy-nine attempts. Niska’s accuracy in the game meant that she learned everything about Astrid, from the television programmes she’d watched as a child with her older sister to the time she’d punched a lecher in a pub. However, it was the other woman who’d made the game fun. She’d say, “I bet you owned a broadsword at your mansion. True?”

Niska would give a flat “no” but Astrid kept trying.

“Katana? Lightsaber? Lightning bolt? Come on, I know you’re a badass.”

Even though it was against the rules, Niska had pursed her lips to hold back a smile. “A pen.”

Looking proudly, as though she’d just unraveled a mystery all on her own, Astrid had raised her face to the ceiling and cackled, “Die Feder is machtiger als das Schwert!”

Niska had decided then that the greatest tragedy in her life was being made without the ability to blatantly roll her eyes.

Now she knew differently. Now she knew a kitchen chair sitting across from hers; the seat that Astrid had left behind in the cabin. It had been no surprise she’d left after what was said to her. Niska had never considered herself particularly sensitive and she would have left too. But with night falling at the pace of a dropping curtain, she couldn’t help but fear Astrid hadn’t made it to the friendly house far outside the woods.

“I always thought you were the smart one,” broke in Mattie from the living room. She was still on the sofa and clutching her phone again, as though it would manifest service at any second and chime with another dozen messages from Leo. But the brown eyes trained on Niska were critical and unforgiving. Mattie shook her head suddenly. “What are you waiting for? Go after her!”

“No,” said Niska, although it was like taking a knife to her circuits just to say it.

“Oh, you’d rather she get lost in the dark and eaten by a bear, then?” Mattie’s voice was harsh. “I thought you were in love with her.”

She willed for the serenity V had given her to quell a rising storm. “I am. Everything’s different now, though. I’m different, and maybe…”

Severing her last sentence prematurely did not spare Niska from Mattie’s scrutiny. With a wince and a groan, the girl sat up straighter and prompted, “Maybe?”

Unwillingly, an audio memory of Astrid shouting, Die Feder is machtiger als das Schwert! sang into her head.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Oh Astrid.

“Maybe some people aren’t meant to be together,” Niska said at last, fighting the emotional energy in that memory. Mattie fell silent, which meant Niska’s words had hit home. She couldn’t regret it – it got the girl to shut up and that alone did wonders for retaining Niska’s peace of mind.

But a subdued Mattie also held a hidden danger. Even with the moon glowing on her through the windows, the girl was vulnerable, and with her weakened connection to V, Niska could no longer hold the truth back.

“Mattie,” she said, forcing softness into her voice.

The girl was wary as she approached, and in that moment Niska saw something of herself inside this young and fragile human…a human who was in love with Niska’s brother.

Once she’d taken a seat on the end of the sofa, she said, “Do you know why you’re here?”

Braced for sarcasm, she was surprised when the answer was, “You wanted me away from him.” The Hawkins girl looked tired, and pained. Not the physical distress that Astrid had seen to earlier, but the kind attained through longing. Through loneliness. What Niska saw when she’d look in a mirror, before Astrid and now after.

“I wanted your unborn child away from him until I could find a way to stop your pregnancy from becoming more difficult.”

Mattie rolled her eyes, which stirred a vague envy in Niska. “Bang up job on that one,” she said bitterly.

“Mattie - .”

“What?”

Niska waited a beat. “Your daughter,” she said slowly, fully aware of the injury her words were going to cause, “does not -.”

She froze; the cabin door snapped open, letting a light spray of evening rain into the cabin, along with a figure in a hooded sweatshirt and jeans. Astrid pulled her dampened hood off her head and held up a bag of biscuits and Nutella in one hand, and a plain brown box with a strange black box in the other.

“Niska?” breathed Astrid.

So many words died on Niska’s tongue, pointless and poisoned by the last words she’d said to the one who’d never failed her, never left her wanting for anything. Who came back for her.

She came back.

Niska hadn’t seen its likelihood. Was it because Astrid herself was unpredictable, or were the lines of the future being drawn in darkness for Niska once again?

“These are heavy,” Astrid announced.

Mattie made a move to rise, but Niska reached Astrid first. After she’d placed the box and bag on the table, they found themselves staring at one another, uncertain of anything between them except the certain tension. Mattie, who was made understandably uncomfortable by it, cut in by saying loudly, “Where’d you find the store, Astrid?”

Without relenting eye contact with Niska, Astrid answered, “It was Paul. I was on my way to his house when he was driving up. He thought we could use some more food. And,” she tapped the box with a fist, “an XBox? If you’re bored?”

As Mattie gave a bewildered laugh, Niska’s insides went cold at the thought of hooking up the video game console. She muttered to Astrid, “That’s no ordinary television. Interfering with its signal could cost me what I came here for.”

Even in this lightless space, the shadows haunting every corner could not rival the ones in Astrid’s grave expression. The woman looked away at last. To Mattie. “Then let it,” she said in a low voice. “You’ve got time. And right now, I’m not here for you.”

V, thought Niska, her internal system adding this bite to her scars. She had never felt pain so deserved.

You made me lose her.

*** MATTIE

Mattie had been wanting to ask when was the last time that their friendly Welsh recluse had actually played on the Xbox – as far as Mattie knew, Jedi Knights of the Old Republic hadn’t been in popular circulation for at least a decade. Not that she was complaining, and not that she was about to say it. She’d been stuck between a couple waging an ice war before, and her mum and dad had taught her firsthand there was nothing more miserable than to be the only one freely talking.

She was glad Astrid returned. Truthfully, bracing herself for whatever Niska wanted to tell her about the baby was like sitting in the passenger seat of a car about to crash in slow motion through a skyscraper. Astrid had spared her that trip upon entrance.

Then there was the fact that Niska was about as fun to converse with as a cactus. If Astrid hadn’t arrived with the video games, Mattie would right now likely be watching Niska hug the television set as though she couldn’t possibly get any more weird.

“Mattie,” said Niska suddenly.

She jumped. Psychic, her mind called out unwillingly. But when she turned, all the Synth had for her were some crackers spread with tuna, and a bottle of water. Accepting both with gratitude, Mattie devoured the crackers in under thirty seconds. She couldn’t care less what the people who’d dragged her here thought of that scene.

The water bottle, she clutched with uncertainty. It was stupid, so stupid, remembering a few years back, when she’d managed to get in contact with Leo. Now that she looked back on it, it made little sense to her – he’d been older, generally unpleasant and distrusting with her, and hadn’t even said goodbye to her when he’d left the first time. And yet, every week she’d still try to track him down. Like a school girl with a crush. But when she found him again, he seemed pleased to see her. Even though Hester didn’t feel the same about it.

Hester. The Synth who’d picked up on Mattie’s feelings for Leo, who’d gloated about how she’d already had sex with him. And when Mattie had decided she was done, and told Leo she wanted to leave…

He’d handed her a bottle of water. And asked her to stay.

Mattie didn’t want to think about him. But he was, in fact, all that she seemed to be able to think of, here in this very shack which she was fairly sure had been featured in a ghost hunting documentary she’d seen.

“Want to take the Force from me?” Breaking into her thoughts, Astrid offered a controller.

A surprised Mattie stared at it, shaking with a laugh. “I don’t think the Force works that way, Astrid.”

Astrid shrugged, a sheepish smile on her face. “I didn’t follow Star Wars as a kid. Must be why I keep dying.” She nudged Mattie’s hand with the controller, and this time Mattie took it.

“What did you like as a kid?” she asked, selecting a new game option.

Just as Astrid hesitated, Niska said behind them, “Charlie’s Angels.”

The carefree light in Astrid’s eyes faded a bit. The entire room became an empty court, with a lone Mattie unable to decide what to play in it. She really didn’t feel like doing anything right now, unless Niska had a pregnancy-approved sedative to knock her out for the duration of this stay at Camp Crazy.

But Astrid leaned towards her from her spot on the sofa, serious-toned and with intimate mannerisms that Mattie usually only saw when people were drunk. “You have to promise me,” said the woman, “that you’ll let me fly the Millennial Fallon just once.”

The water bottle dropped from Mattie’s hands as she pressed them against her mouth to stifle her laughter. “Mate, you have no idea what you’re talking about, do you?”

Shrugging, Astrid said, “What is the big deal? Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate…America just loves to market everything with a ‘star’ in the title.”

Out of the corner of her vision, Mattie noticed Niska standing by the wall, looking halfway at them and halfway at nothing.

“Well, if it makes you feel better,” she said, “Niska has never seen it either.”

 Astrid raised her eyebrows, finally saying to Niska, “Really? You told her that?”

“No,” Niska said bluntly, her agitation causing Mattie to regret bringing it up. “Leo told her our family always had little reason to watch anything from the cinema. If anything, we read to each other. Mia…” her voice paused, a confused undertone switching inflection.  Mattie and Astrid waited.

“Mia read Sense & Sensibility to me.” And then, the spell of despair was over. Niska sounded much more like her new, neutral persona when she said, “Fred always had a Science Journal for us when we needed to be bored.”

“And Leo?” asked Astrid, curving a knowing glance at Mattie.

Niska replied, “Winnie the Pooh.”

This time the laughter Mattie was sharing was pure and unbreakable; the funny thing was, Astrid’s was too. It was the first time she’d truly laughed on this trip. For all her laidback spirit, Astrid Schaeffer was heartbroken.

And looking up at Niska, seeing the relief flash briefly in those purple eyes as it saw Astrid’s smile, Mattie saw Niska’s pain as well.

Which leaves no one, she thought grimly. How could three broken hearts heal one another?

*** ASTRID

When she’d left, she’d meant to ask Paul to drive her to the first train station off Wales. But the further she trod downhill, the more bothersome a quirk in her stomach became. It was like a fly trapped in a box, bumping and agitated until it was freed. And by the time Paul rolled up in his car with a video game console and some hazelnut spread, Astrid was ready to go back.

After all, she’d helped Niska all but kidnap Mattie. Which meant she was partially responsible for whatever happened to the girl. Might as well stick it out, for her conscience’s sake.

However, being around Niska still hurt enough to make a bloody nose happy. With Mattie at last dozing off on the sofa, Astrid had no choice but to pay attention to the one pacing by the furniture. From the floor, Astrid said quietly, “We need to take her home, Niska.”

Niska stopped pacing. “We will,” she said.

“Tomorrow.”

But Niska’s face, a face holding a character now as unfamiliar to Astrid as the purple eyes, was impassive. “I wouldn’t have brought her here if there was no need. I do everything for a reason, Astrid.”

At this Astrid rolled her eyes. “Everyone does everything for a reason. That does not make it right.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Talk.”

Blinking her eyes with deliberation, the way only a Synth would, Niska swept a look at the television set. Astrid followed her gaze. V or no V, Astrid wanted more than anything to smash it into glass.

“I had to intervene,” Niska said at last, her voice a weak flame in this dark room. Her eyes still glowed violet in it, unsettling Astrid to welling tears.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

Niska shot a warning glance at Mattie. Moonlight highlighted the girl’s sleeping face, making her appear both haunting and ethereal.  Astrid cleared her throat.

“Mattie,” she said, not changing her volume. “Mattie, Leo just texted.”

Nothing shifted Mattie’s expression; she may as well have been the sofa. Astrid raised her eyebrows promptingly at Niska.

“The baby has consciousness,” began Niska slowly. “Or rather, a subconscious. Everything that she learns at this stage will be forgotten at birth. But right now, she knows. She knows about Leo’s abandonment. She knows Mattie wanted an abortion.”

There were so many how’s Astrid wanted to ask, yet the only thing that she could utter was, “You don’t need V for this, Niska. You don’t need any superpowers.”

Niska’s eyes dimmed a little. “What do you suggest?” she asked, sounding careful. Like trusting Astrid was an elusive yet familiar game she was playing. Thinking that way made her feel like the stranger now. Thinking it hardened her resolve.

“Undo what you’ve been doing,” she announced. “If you don’t believe it, we’ll take her to Paul’s tomorrow to try. If it doesn’t work, we come back here and you can go on talking to your tee-V again.”

She half-expected Niska’s eyes to flash at her tasteless pun. But Niska nodded, the light in her eyes returning. And Astrid could breathe a sigh of relief, grateful that V wasn’t somewhere in the cabin, ready to zap her from an outlet for blasphemy.

At least…V wasn’t still in the cabin, right? Because the only thing scarier than Niska speaking to the television, was the thought of the television speaking back.