enneablog

[enneablog]

I am not sure about what my head fix is for my tritype. How can you tell?

Try thinking about the thoughts and beliefs that come up about yourself or the world when you are in a time of fear/worry/anxiety.

This type of reflection will help you see what your initial impulses are, even if you don’t act on them. And even if you don’t want anyone to know. Do you want to flee? Do you want to come up with plans? Do you try to distract yourself? Do you feel an impulse to have a plan A, B, C, and D? Or perhaps you want to think things through and need more time, etc. Your answers will tell you something about yourself.

It’s important to look at the first impulse you have in the moment for you tritype.

[enneablog]

Hello. I'm new to enneagram, and different tests gave me different results. I got 4w5, 4w3 and 3w4 as well. Unfortunately, the online descriptions seems to be relied on stereotypical characteristics, and I'm not a fan of this, as I know that in personality theories, one's type can manifest in a million ways. So my question is, that Do you help with typing? If yes, how? Where should I write to you? (since ask is letter limited) Thanks in advance!

Hello, if you’d like to be typed by me, I rarely do this anymore. It’s often only if I’m in the mood or not busy. We used to have an active server that still exists on discord. It’s called Integration, but sadly there’s not much activity. Feel free to join though. But I can’t guarantee that anyone will be able to type you.

There are several other servers on discord that have people willing to type others. You can google “Disboard” with the keyword “typology” and a few servers will come up!

I hope that helps!

[enneablog]

Hi! I have an original character that i can’t seem to type. His core motivation is to be loved and accepted for who he really is, and i’ve debated whether that makes him a 2 or a 4. He’s emotionally intense, and his mum always hated when he threw tantrums as a child or when he showed more emotion than necessary. Growing up he always felt conflicted between wanting to please his parents to get them to love him, (1)

Based off of the very little information I have here for this character’s motivations or triads, I’d probably type them as a 2w1. I would need to ask the character questions to actually type them with more than a “fly by” typing though lol.

[enneablog]

Do you think a 4 core with the 469 tritype would be less elitist, less aloof, and more people oriented? And basically a softer 4? I have all the fears and motivations of a 4 but don't relate to the edgy descriptions

I could see someone being slightly less “reactive triad” than other descriptions display 4′s as, perhaps yes.

I would highly recommend looking into some of triads if you do not feel the descriptions line up for you. The triads are the basis for our motivations. Since they are based on actual studying done by psychologists throughout the years.

Try looking into withdrawn triad, frustration triad, reactive triad, and heart triad. If those resonate then you can probably be certain of 4. However, if they don’t it could either be the descriptions being without real world experience to apply it to. Or it could perhaps be that you resonate more with other triads/types.

[enneablog]

I thought the flow of instincts was sp>so>sx, not sp>sx>so

Contra flow instinctual stackings explained further:

 Yes, the commonly known “flow” of the instincts is sp>so>sx.

However, what I probably didn’t make clear in my original post about the contra flow stackings, is that I came up with my own reasoning as to why there is a “gap.” There is a “gap” in the “flow” because the natural progression of human evolution was most likely sp>sx>so (explanation of this premise is heavily detailed in the prior contra flow post.) Therefore, it makes sense as to how come the contra flow stackings have a “gap.”

The “gap” I’m referring to here is the “jump” between how the evolution of our brain and species works.

For example: given the premise that human’s evolutional order was = sp>sx>so, then an so/sx stacking would have no gap in their sx- instinct supporting their so-instinct (our second instinct supports our first, and is more readily relied on.)

However, following the same evolutional premise, an sx/so would have a “gap,” a”hole,” or a “jump” between their so-instinct supporting their sx-instinct.

The evolutional progression requires that you have sx before so. They are essentially playing “catch up” to the rest of the people who are syn flow stackings. Oftentimes people who have contraflow stackings have a feeling of “needing to catch up” very clearly. Sometimes not. Sometimes they feel the “gap” between themselves and others. This is where the “against the grain” descriptions originate from.

I hope that clears some things up!

[enneablog]

Series: Enneagram Descriptions broken down: Type 4

In this series of misunderstood type descriptions, I will attempt to communicate my opinion on why type descriptions, in general, are not sufficient enough to type one’s self in Enneagram.

I will be jumping from type to type and to various descriptions with little structure initially. This is because these posts are very much based off of inspiration. Eventually there will be more structured posts in this series. 

If you would like to request a description breakdown similar to the one below, on a different type…feel free to request one and include the link to the description of your choice. Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee that I will complete all of your request but I will attempt to.

  I will begin with Enneagram Institute’s type 4 description.

 The following are the 1st and 3rd paragraph of their description:

“We have named this type The Individualist because Fours maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others. Fours feel that they are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately.”

To be frank, sometimes the “core fears” of each type is not an accurate portrayal for people to begin typing themselves. Yes, I do agree that each type has a core fear. And the fears are listed relatively as best as they can be. The emphasis is on the word “relatively” here though, and they are not to be taken literally.

If you look at this first sentence, it’s attempting to describe the 4s core fears of not having an identity and not being significant. What these sentences are implying, are that type 4s are motivated by their fear of not having an identity and the fear of not being significant. So to communicate this more literally for you, the enneagram can be broken down in a much more structured manner when you look at the motivations of a type. 

For example, it might be plausible that most 4s “see themselves as fundamentally different from others.” However, it’s not a guarantee that they are all doing this consciously in order to maintain their identity. At least not in the literal manner that the description suggests. 

The implication that is not written in these sentences is that the 4s motivation is have a sense of individuality, and as a byproduct of being motivated by this, they sometimes feel that they are unlike others, or very misunderstood.

“They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing special, one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed.”

The trouble with these sorts of sentences are that the reader could be a type 3 and still relate to this description. Type 3s often do believe they’re unique and special, etc. That is just one mistyping example, there could be many more.

“….Nevertheless, Fours often report that they feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is. Is it will power? Social ease? Self-confidence? Emotional tranquility?—all of which they see in others, seemingly in abundance. Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their personality or ego-structure itself. They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with.”

These types of generalizations can also be relatable to any of the other heart types. For example, type 3s report a sense of inner emptiness, and type 2s report having no sense of self because they are so people focused.

These are just some simple examples of how type descriptions can easily be misconstrued and we’re only on the third paragraph in the description... Stayed tuned for next time where I’ll be going over the rest of the description for 4s. 

[enneablog]

So im kinda new to enneagram and the test I took gave me my basic type which is 9, and 'taking wings into count', I'd be a 4w5. How does all of these work? I'm very confused:-/

Sounds like you could do with some more reading and investigation into yourself and the types. 😉 I would recommend just starting to read up on short paragraphs about each type at first. When the descriptions start to get lengthy, then you know that the author is getting too specific. If you’re just beginning, then pick an easy website such as the enneagram institute or enneablog spot.

Here is an overview of how it fits together: 1. Enneagram is just telling you that there are 9 types of common fears that people have. What happens to us as children, and what’s in our nature to respond to circumstances as children, leads us to become “fixated” on one of these 9 fears.

2. Those fixations can have what’s called a “wing.” Which is just what “direction” or what “influence” someone’s fixation will have. For example a 4 core with a wing of 5 (which is denoted as 4w5) would be a 4 core having a fear of not having an identify or significance...being influenced by a 5 wing of intellectual isolation in thought. As compared to a 4w3, which would be a 4 core influenced by the 3 wing of striving and differentiating. The wings of 5 and 3 in this instance, give the 4 core a “flavor.” So as an analogy, the core type is your main dish, and the wings is whether you have “salt n pepper” vs “oregano” as a seasoning on the dish. :P 

3. The tritype is picking one type from each of the head, heart, and gut triad (with their wing) that you feel you fixate on them most. An example could be 4w5(heart) 6w7(head) 8w9(gut.)

[enneablog]

Hi, love the blog. Have you noticed that people from the same synflow or contraflow always match up. Sx/so goes with sp/sx ... and sp/so goes with so/sx. Once I spotted this, I can't unspot it now.

Hello, thank you for the appreciation. It’s nice to see that people can gather enjoyment from this. 

I have noticed that people with the same flow perhaps relate muchmore with each other in specific areas of life. I’m not sure about matching upin intimate relationships, or even just friends. However, I do think that thestackings can provide a source of common ground for people. 

For example people who are into survivalist living (ie: Prepperslol) or perhaps even minimalist living, they might share this common interestbecause they have either sp first or sp second, however that doesn’t reallyexclude sp-lasts from these common interests. I have definitely known somesp-lasts that are concerned or love these activities as well. 

Perhaps what you might behinting at though, is that an sp first might do these things for a differentreason than an sp last, and these reasons can show on our faces. It could bethe common unspoken understanding of why they’re there doing the same activity,that might draw different types together. 

[enneablog]

You were probably joking about it but in what ways does a 4 fix salvage a PolR Fi I ENTPs?

Yes, I was joking in an ironical way of poking at an extremelycommon stereotype that I don’t subscribe to. In that response the stereotype isthat people with Fi PolR would supposedly not be “great” at relationshipsor emotions, or not be “strong” in those areas of life. The opposite is usually the case for 4s but of course not always. Some 4s canhave an extremely empathetic outlook and demeanor, and be very in touch withhow they feel or how others feel. The 4s stereotype is extreme in this manneras well.  

That being said, the joke isusing sarcasm to berate this stereotype, one which I do not personally agreewith. Meaning, I don’t think that the dimensions of the information elements inSocionics completely denote strength. I could see people just perceiving itthis way though, so that they can apply a quick judgement.

[enneablog]

I'm a 7w(cp6) w. 4w3 last. I have a reactive anger, but I don't like losing control or showing someone they got to me. if I do lose temper it is in the form of cutting remarks. I like to maintain the high road when someone is watching (at work for ex.) but I can uninhibitedly get angry at home/w. friends. However I'm not energized by it, I feel drained by that anger, and try reconciling soon. I identify with both fear of being wrong/not wanting to be controlled, so how do I work out my gut fix?

This question is a very prominent one in the typologycommunity. However, the description provided does not contain enoughinformation for me to get an accurate typing of your gut fix. If you believethat your gut fix is last, this can make the process even more difficult. Youwill need to ask yourself how you experience the anger. As in, what does itphysically feel like inside your body? What are your initial impulses? (whetheryou act on them or not) What is the first and second thought that goes throughyour head? What kind of circumstances ignite your anger? etc…

Even the answers to these questions might not be enough todetermine your gut fix. It takes quite a lot of self-reflection in the very initialmoments that you become angry to be able to determine this. So just keep inmind that the Enneagram is a journey.

Additionally, if you would like a thorough typing from me, Ido provide that as a separate paid service. So just to clarify, I can help youand other subscribers as far as giving you these types of prompts and descriptionson my blog, however I do not provide a typing service through this blog. Thankyou for your question. I hope that my answer can help others use these promptsto reflect on as well.

[enneablog]

New Enneagram Triads (updated on 8.26.20) #Withdrawnbois

But there are a thousand things which prevent a man from awakening, which keep him in the power of his dreams.

In order to act consciously with the intention of awakening, it is necessary to know the nature of the forces which keep man in a state of sleep.

— G. I. GURDJIEFF

The Disintegration Triads

For all types: “The failure of the child’s early holding environment leads to the absence of basic trust, a fundamental distrust of reality.” 1

Original Content:

New Triad: The Frayed (6, 2, 7) 

6 arises from 9′s disintegration

2 arises from 4′s disintegration

7 arises from 5′s disintegration

What is the unifying link between these types?:

Withdrawn Triad’s Disintegration - Energy is overextended and will manifest as a person outwardly “spinning out” or “fraying” (like a rope)

Disintegrated 9′s - The 9′s normal reaction to their unconscious, existential fear of separation (caused by their childhood combined with their nature) is to: “smooth the whole thing over and act as though everything is fine, living one’s life in a mechanical way...” 1 

This is different than their disintegration where they: second guess themselves, doubt others, and are likely to assume the outcome of the future (or others’ intentions) in order to avoid what might wreck them.

As you can see when a 9 is going in and out of disintegration, their energy is “spinning out” and “fraying out” in many different directions. This fraying of their energy is a representation of them trying to moderate their ego. It starts as a rope and is solidly held together. However, over time their energy is spread thin, which can lead to a less solid “hold” on themselves. They start to overly question themselves, which leads to a weaker ego that grows more insecure. When our egos are insecure they scan for reinforcement externally. This is how the 9 becomes “frayed” like a 6, scanning for external feedback from the world to reinforce their ego back to a healthy state.

This transition from the average 9′s “mechanical - going through the motions-” to “the 9′s attention being directed outside of themselves—toward work or relationships or the myriad of other details that go into our lives” 1  is the manifestation of the rise to their disintegration. Essentially their energy manifests as overextended and spinning out (fraying, spreading themselves too thin, etc.) as an attempt to maintain disorganized peace toward externalities.

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Quotes that also capture Type 9’s disintegration well:

 “As our basic trust, as Almaas terms it—our fundamental, unquestioned, and preconceptual confidence in the beneficence of our holding environment—slowly erodes, so too does our fundamental faith in the goodness of the whole universe and of life itself. Naturally, the degree of trauma in our early holding environment determines the extent to which we lose our inherent trust and our contact with True Nature in its manifestation as a loving, supportive, and benevolent foundation of life.” 1

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 “The usually stable, easygoing Nine becomes worried, testy, and defensive. They begin to see others as the source of their unease and complaining to anyone who will listen. They may also have issues with authority, feeling put upon or controlled by those they see as having power over them. Under prolonged stress, Nines completely lose their placid demeanor and become more and more reactive and nervous. They may seek help and reassurance from others but may just as quickly disparage them for "dominating" or "overwhelming" them.” 2

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The Passion for Type 9 is Laziness and their Virtue (what saves them) is Action:

“We cannot simply go through the motions of inner work. That is merely another form of laziness. Sitting in meditation, even for an extremely long time, will get us nowhere if we are daydreaming, planning our day, or going over our shopping list. Action means applying ourselves to the practice, regardless of which one we are doing.” 1

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“Growing Nines must also remember that they will never have union with anyone else unless and until they have union with themselves. If they are accommodating to a fault, they will eventually lose the other person because they have never possessed themselves. When they learn that self-assertion is not an aggressive act but a positive thing, Nines are in a position to truly bring peace and harmony to everyone in their environment.” 2

Ending explanation:

These words have many meanings so I will try to clarify. Laziness refers to the 9’s “falling asleep to themselves” That is why it’s important to use action, their virtue to counter this. Action does not mean “staying busy.” It means they need to to dig deep, figure out their desires, and then act upon them consciously.

Sources: 

1  -  The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues: Finding the Way Home by Sandra Maitri 

2 -  http://theenneagram.blogspot.com/2007/09/type-9.html

3 - Picture: http://jamesmmbaldwin.blogspot.com/2013/03/in-response-to-recent-query-agent-wrote.html 

[enneablog]

How can I tell if an ISFj/ESI I know is sx first or sp first? The FiSe - Fi feels like sx and Se feels sp. I don't know enough ISFjs to be able to tell the difference.

If an ISFj/ESI is sx first, they will take it a lot more seriously. Sx firsts often have a vibe to them that they’re “on the edge of their seat” ready to connect.  Where sp doms do not have this as much. There’s often cues and “steps” you have to initiate first before an sp dom will feel comfortable with you safety-wise. I can understand the confusion though, because Fi doms very much want to build a relationship with people on a deep and stable basis. As an Fi dom myself, i still need to feel safe above all else. Which is why i type as sp dom. And although I can have a “dark” or “edgy” flair, I think the other ESI’s that I know that are sx dom, are much more carefree about risk, especially in their earlier years. This can give the sx doms an even darker flair. Possibly more broody, and less wistful. Hope that helps a little bit!

[enneablog]

Hi There, I'm a 9w1 Sx/Sp 469 INFJ. But for the times in which I am in the initial, exciting, honeymoon-like stages of a relationship, I have a tendency toward melancholy, boredom, and "what's the point" My inner sense of value does not seem to match how my loved ones regard me. My overly abstract , "meta" thoughts also seem to hinder me in some ways. Do you have any insight for me, given my typing? Thank you so much.

Well in regards to relationships and how you relate to the other person, or how you relate to intimacy (which is what it sounds like) I don’t believe this has anything to do with typology. I feel that this is more in the realm of attachment styles. These are not typologies, but how you form your bonds from a young age.In my opinion, it sounds like you’re some form of avoidant + secure attachment, and that perhaps you’re attracting or attracted to anxious attachments. Anxious attached people usually want lots of intimacy in the beginning of the relationship. A secure or avoidant attached person can be jarring for them because they often go much slower in relationships. Here’s an overview but there’s lot of information on this subject out there! : https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

[enneablog]

hi! so ive been stuck trying to figure out if im a 2 or a 4 and was wondering if you could provide insight? im definitely an ESFP and sp/sx variant. i have the core of a two; desperately needing people to love me and doing pretty much whatever it takes to keep them, but i relate a lot more to the experiences of 4s? at least the way people discuss 4s on here, being more introspective with their own identity and emotions. could you maybe point out some similarities and differences? thanks💖

If you feel that you have the motivation of being needed and loved, then that motivation is probably more indicative of type. The characteristics of of being introspective are not solely the experience of just 4s. 2s can be reflective and deep especially about their identity, who they are, who they want to be, what they relate to, what sparks something with in them. These are things that rule the heart triad in general :)I think that if you relate to characteristics of 4 but motivations of 2, then 2 is most likely. For example, 2s can want to be unique because they want to be needed. They want to fulfill a specific purpose that no one else can fill! However, at the same time 4s have a deeply and innately cultivate their unique identity. So many 2s think that they are 4s because of a characteristic like this. That’s why it’s best to ask yourself “how come i want to be unique?” or “how come i want to be introspective”, etc...Below i’ve listed the motivations for each type from enneagram institute, your answers to your “why” questions should fit into one or the other.  If you need further assistance let me know. 2s:Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being lovedBasic Desire: To feel lovedKey Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.4sBasic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significanceBasic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."

[enneablog]

I'm not sure if my last fix is 1w9, 1w2, or 8w7 (all obtained from various tests, other results have remained fairly consistent INFP 4w5 5w4 sp/sx...)

In order to decide your gut fix, you should look at how you relate to anger/rage...Do you:-openly express anger? and are also quick to move on? Sometimes enjoying the thrill of confrontation? (8)Do you:-avoid showing anger openly? and perhaps it sometimes manifests as passive-aggressiveness or stubbornness? (9)Do you:-hold back anger until you’re unable to hold it in anymore? Sometimes coming across as strict and corrective after holding it in too long? (1)If you answer these honestly then you might have more insight into your gut fix. 8s and 1s are inherently opposed to one another in that one enjoys the expression of anger and gets it off their chest (8), vs the other which holds in their anger because they feel that being overly expressive with it is wrong or not right. Oftentimes exploding at a later time and apologizing for their irrational angry outburst. (1)

[enneablog]

Could you possibly explain what fixes are? I hear them talked about a lot but have no clue as to what they are. Also, I know I‘m a 5w4 but I don’t understand when people label themselves as three different wings such as 3w4, 6w9, 1w2. Thanks! :)

Fixes are referring to the head, heart, and gut fixations that each person might have. Some people adhere to the theory that we do not have more than one fixation, and that we only have a core type which explains all of our hangups....Others (like myself) adhere to the theory that we have a head, heart, and gut fix...and therefore we have different fixations when it comes to thinking, feeling, and gut instincts. Usually we primarily fixate on one of these, and that is your core type. ie: you identify as a 5w4, therefore your core type is a head type. But you may experience shame in the way that a 2 a 3 or a 4 could. When you figure out which way you experience shame, that is called your heart fix. The same goes for gut fix, etc.It should be noted that with this theory the core type still stays the same because it’s your main fixation. I hope this clears things up a bit. If not write me again. 

[enneablog]

Why is it so hard for most people to determine if they are SX/SP or SP/SX?

The reason that people have a hard typing their instincts in general is because they either “hear something from someone” or read some literature that puts emphasis on one instinct slot over another (such as the first instinct.)For example, when I discuss instincts with people they are often surprised when I tell them that they most likely use their second instinct “more than their first,” especially when in a social group for the first time. The literature on instincts doesn’t expand on this aspect much. What’s stated is that we use our second instinct when we first meet someone where we’re not sure that our first instinct will be accepted. 

I think what people are missing is that the roles that each instinct slot plays is just as important as learning the instinct’s “energy.” 

To exemplify this... an sp/sx would use their sx energy to connect deeply with others in order to feel safe. An sx/sp would use their sp energy to collect and provide resources in order to form and maintain their deep connections.