dustandshadows8

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My endgames <3

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suddenly i remember song lan and xiao xingchen and i start crying

the inherent agony of their arc being one of the most torturous and yet having the least closure...the absolution of knowing song lan wanders the world forever waiting for a spirit that may refuse reincarnation...

the fact that song lan and xiao xingchen are the narrative foils to wei wuxian and lan wangji...both are couples who strive only to do good, vanquish evil, help the weaker; both are subject to injustice in a world that tempts exploitation. however, whereas wangxian gets something of a bittersweet happy ending, songxiao never will. xiao xingchen is dead because a boy, stifled by cruelty and revenge, never grew to understand real love. song lan is worse than dead, almost. because he is a fierce corpse and will live for a very long time but he will never touch or see or fight by xiao xingchen again. both of them manipulated against each other, their own past kindnesses weaponized against them...fuck.

"what is black, and what is white?" lan wangji meant it figuratively but it can't be a coincidence that song lan and xiao xingchen's robes are respectively those colors. oh, to yearn to do good, isn't that the best and worst thing in the world? to help so many, but rend yourself vulnerable to those without sympathy and those who exploit that same kindness for their own motives.

they're the worst because they just wanted to do good. they just wanted to do good.

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XXC gets better au but each individual soul shard grows and replicates itself so a few decades down the line SL wakes up and he is in a room absolutely FILLED with XXC clones. They all love him very many. They all want LOTS of attention ALL the time. SL with XXC harem, is the gist of this post.

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I wonder when it was we decided love was equal to passion I wonder when we decided a kiss meant more than this Your hands holding mine your body resting next to mine.

I wonder why they decided that wasn't enough that your skin against mine your presence and the look in your eyes had to go farther.

I wonder how we decided that two souls had to combine in a shifting of flesh and not in a sifting of souls

I wonder who would enjoy spending their lives with mine complete in every way with just your hand in mine and your time.

-"Maybe I want more, but also less than you"

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I do see a lot of ways in which fandom is exciting and welcoming to disabled people, especially neurodivergent people, because a thing that I noticed is that it’s really easy for fandom to become a hyperfocus for people with autism and ADHD, and it’s a really welcoming environment for that kind of hyperfocus, because we can talk about those things in depth, and it’s welcomed, and we can make art and write fanfic and cosplay, and it’s considered a positive thing, in a way that’s not really treated the same in other aspects of life. 

— @mayarab in our “Disability and Fandom” double episode. Click through to listen to her whole segment or read a full transcript.

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You see people being really raw and open in author’s notes. ... things like, “I wanted to write about my experience with an eating disorder. I hope people find this useful to see themselves reflected back.” And then you’ll go to the comments section and it will be dozens and dozens of people saying, “Thank you, I’ve never felt myself come out of the page before.” And I think it’s something about the interaction with that meta-level, how we get to fanfiction, and also with engaging in a shared common space that is the fandom, and that world that you’re writing in. ... there’s something that grounds you there and makes it easier, or more powerful, in conveying an experience through that familiarity.

— @melodioustear on her research into depictions of Madness in fic in our “Disability and Fandom” double episode. Click through to listen to our entire conversation with her or to read a full transcript.

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Yes.

Real quick, if you're a fan of the new Wednesday show I'm gonna need you to evaluate yourself every now and then. Were you ever part of the Voltron legendary defenders fandom? The heart stopper fandom?

Please don't harrass the actors producers or directors of your favorite media just because it's not going in a direction you like. Voltron creators quit because the fandom was harrasing them about klance, and then it never happened, heart stopper fans basically bullied a 17 yo into coming out when he didn't want to. Behavior like this not only reflects negatively on the queer community, but it harms real actual people and will almost never get you the thing you're trying to beg for.

Please respect Jenna Ortega and all of her costars, directors and producers, and if you see people being rude, disrespectful, hateful, or harrasing them, report them and call that kind of behavior out before it spreads like wildfire.

Respect Jenna and Emma's privacy as well. Just because you ship their characters on screen doesn't make it okay to harass them about being together in their personal lives, nor does it mean it's okay to harras them about their characters getting together. They ultimately have very little control of how the story will play out, but no matter what happens, allow them their space and their privacy.

Wednesday is great and has so much potential, especially for queer representation through Wednesday and Enid, but we've all seen how fast that can go down the drain when a toxic fandom enviornment starts to get the better of actors and show writers. Be supportive, be respectful, be patient.

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I really, really, really wish people would just tag "x reader." I have blocked every version of those posts I can think of with content filters, and yet people still find a way to phrase it that gets around those filters. While I am normally only mildly sex/romance averse, some days it's extreme, and just seeing mentions of those posts makes me VERY uncomfortable, but seeing it with a specific character is even worse. Every other fanfiction trope is tagged, but not this. It's infuriating.

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Does anyone in the aromantic community feel scared to label themselves as aromantic? Because like I know I am ace but for aro I feel like I am a mix of being grey, demi, cupio so like aroflux.

I am scared that saying im aro is like me giving up on the idea of romantic love which sucks because its just the amatonormativity. Like i feel different to others in the aro community because I have experienced things I thought were crushes at the time but come to realize it might just be alterous attraction. The amatonormativity in society has basically made me that I labeling myself as aro cuts me off, of forming any type of romantic relationship in the future. Like i say i'm aroace and feel comfortable with it sometimes, but other times I get like scared that I might not be.

Sorry if this upsets anyone. I was just wondering if anyone in the aro or even the ace community has felt like this and could offer some advice.

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Sometimes I forget that people actually fantasise about real people

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Alec: are you crying right now? Magnus: *sobbing* this book is too fucking sad Alec: Alec: it's an interior design magazine Magnus: *still sobbing* yeah, the designs fucking suck

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This was to funny to leave off my blog.

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

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I was talking with someone about just how canon the ineffable husbands are in good omens and I brought up how Gaiman said that what they have is canonically a love story (which is really reflected in the show, with their moments of vulnerability towards the other, their despair at the thought of losing one another, their comfort with eachother, the way they stick together through millennia even when they're never trying to, etc), but they don't have labels, as they don't have genders and the human conception of intimacy eludes them as ethereal beings that aren't human

And the complications with that

Because this person I was discussing with is not as versed in fandom discourse, and so they're only now finding the vocabulary of "queer baiting" to talk about that Sherlock show

And so they're like "I hope I see Crowley and Aziraphale absolutely eat eachother's mouths, it has to be canonized" and I'm standing here like. It is canon though. Like they won't add some "hetero romance" cop-out last minute. They are canonically in a love story. What's interesting is how the label-less queerness of it can also explore non-binary aspects and an aroace perspective on what "love" is

And they're bummed out because if they don't "absolutely eat eachother's mouths" it doesn't feel as canon to them. And I'm still standing here in aroace like. Bro. There are so many forms of relationships. A kiss on screen doesn't have to make it any more or less canon

But at the same time, from the amatonormative perspective, I get how the kiss on screen is seen as the end all be all. Because in general media, the main pairings will have the kiss at the end. And they will live happily ever after with that

Before the kiss it is only as canon as the kiss is predictable, and after the kiss, you can point to that one scene as "the moment it was canonized for realsies despite even people in the show making constant remarks about this being an obvious thing"

And I kinda hate it

I just wish the whole community wouldn't have to keep its guards up like this so much to discern whether something is coming from a genuine place of wanting to tell a story for a queer audience or about a queer subject or if it's all just a ploy to get our money, spit in our faces, smile at the traditional homophobic crowd and fund some conservative party with it

Because then we wouldn't have to play it by the boring straight rules. If everything points to it being obvious, then why is an intense kiss necessary? Why is it all you want? Why can't this represent a qpr? Or a loving relationship where intimacy in the form of a kiss just isn't something the characters want? Or a more open thing instead of being a purely monogamous arrangement? Or something completely new, a dynamic you can only describe in an essay lest you don't make their chemistry justice?

Aren't all of those just a much more under-thought about queer dynamics than what "I want these characters to kiss eachother until they can't remember their names on screen or else it isn't canon enough" can convey?

But at the same time, without something as concise and strong in media language, how do you make sure it won't all stay in just subtext and the reason it looks like clear text to you is because you're starved for queer stories and have become way too accustomed to reading between the lines?

I mean, it's also been proven to not be an absolute in instances where the text goes ham in letting you know what it's saying, when it's not implying, it is just telling. For one, Rose and Pearl in Steven Universe never did share a kiss on screen, and nevertheless we all know what was going on there

Idk, it's complicated and it's 1am, and this is all just a ramble, but I am in my aroace hating amatonormativity mood and the sentiment that characters being a canon thing without an explicit kiss bums someone out to the point they say "ok, ok, I get the whole nb ace ethereal beings that aren't human idea, but I want something more explicit because it doesn't feel canon enough" when that isn't strictly necessary for the story to get it across just got me in a weird mood and this is about so much more than good omens, I needed to try and word it out and might as well put it out there

Just. Why does queerness have to be allonormative and also amatonormative to be valid in the eyes of the queer masses necessarily? You'd think we'd figured out that queerness goes beyond just the L, G, B and binary T by now

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Both, both is good.

the wlw urge to ship wenclair

but the aroace spectrum urge to headcannon wednesday as aroace

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“I want Wednesday to be aroace but I also want to ship Wenclair! I can’t choose which one I like more :(“

“I headcannon Wednesday as aroace OR ship Wenclair!”

“Aroace Wednesday vs Wenclair”

AROACE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 CAN 👏 STILL 👏 BE 👏 IN 👏 ROMANTIC 👏 RELATIONSHIPS 👏

Aromantictivity and asexuality are spectrums, and yes some aroace people don’t want to be in those relationships, but THEY ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE

And just because someone is aroace and is in a relationship doesn’t mean that they aren’t aroace anymore. Period.

So don’t complain about choosing between the two or try and pit them against each other when you can literally have both ok bye thank you for coming to my Ted Talk