dumbestpersoniknow-blog - Tumblr blog

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 12 of 21--Ant-Man

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. Ant-Man begins flashing back to the 80s. Hank Pym, the original Ant-Man, doesn’t get along with Howard Stark. Pym has created a juice that can change the very fabric of reality. In other words, it can make things small. His protege wants to make things small for evil purposes. He must be stopped. Pym isn’t up for the fight, so he recruits Scott Lang, a burglar with a heart of gold, to do the tiny heavy lifting for him.

For years, all I knew about Ant-Man was what I learned from Garrett Morris playing him on Saturday Night Live. Morris said he could shrink to the size of an ant and still have the strength of a human. Then the other superheroes mocked him for having the strength of a human. That all changed when the announcement came that Edgar Wright had been hired to write and direct Ant-Man. Wright is one of the most creative and exciting directors working today. He was an inspired choice. Giddy-up!!!

Let me recommend a video to you lovers of film:  The late, great Every Frame a Painting did a piece on how Edgar Wright towers above other modern comedy directors. They compare and contrast his movies to other comedies. Wright knows he’s working in cinema and he knows how to use all of the cinematic tools at his disposal to imbue his movies with life and imagination.  It’s on YouTube. Search for "Edgar Wright - How to do Visual Comedy". It’s good stuff— even though it barely scratches the surface of what Wright does. But clips are taken from R rated movies, so prepare your sensibilities. 

Onto Ant-Man’s title: Marvel does Iron [space] Man or Ant [dash] Man and Spider [dash] Man. Whereas, DC is pretty consistent about letting no daylight shine through in their compound nouns, e.g., Batman, Superman, Aquaman… Although, if they were truly consistent, she would be “Wonderwoman”. 

This is the first new character to get its own movie since The Avengers formed— except for the Guardians, I guess. This is the second first new character to get its own movie since The Avengers formed. And after the epic Age of Ultron, Ant-Man is a nice downsizing in scope — in more ways than one. This pattern is repeated later, going from Infinity War to Ant-Man and the Wasp. Both seem like a chance to catch a breath and have a few laughs.

Speaking of funny, how can you not like Paul Rudd as Scott Lang? He has a nice, easy, natural charm. He’s a likable actor and an unlikely superhero. This is also the first time we see a Marvel hero as a parent with a child. A child child, that is. You know, of childlike age. It’s nice to see and immediately gives the hero stakes worth fighting for. 

As I’m writing this I’m realizing that Hawkeye had kids in the previous movie. His kids were just kind of thrown in there, weren’t they? I just watched Ultron a few days ago but I have no mental image of his kids. Now that I think about it, they should have been used to better effect. Total extinction of the planet was at stake and I don’t remember Barton being concerned about his kids. He did look at their picture during the final battle. Am I forgetting something? Am I being unfair? Lang’s little girl is a major part of his motivation. That is new. And that makes him more relatable than other characters.

Anyway, back to speaking about funny, Michael Pena might have the best comic performance in a Marvel movie. Maybe. There's a lot of good ones, but he's a solid contender.  In fact, some of the TV ads that came out after the movie was released focused on him. Well deserved. 

Heyley Atwell, Agent Carter, is the first and only person to be with the two different Howard actors, Dominic Cooper and John Slattery. But that’s not too surprising since the only other character John Slattery had previously been seen with was Tony as a tyke in Iron Man 2. As noted in The First Avenger, Bucky had no scenes with the younger Howard. Civil War hindsight being 20/20, that’s a missed opportunity.

Michael Douglas is the first in a series of actors to get the de-aging treatment— Robert Downey Jr. in Civil War, Kurt Russel in GotG II, Samuel L. Jackson and Clark Gregg in Captain Marvel, Michell Pfeiffer and Laurence Fishburne in Ant-Man and the Wasp, and Zoe Saldana in Infinity War. 

Scott Lang gets a job at Baskin Robbins. I wonder if he works at the same Baskin Robbins as Saul Goodman. Son of Zorn is the Baskin Robbins customer!!! I hope his dad becomes an Avenger for Endgame. They could use the help- and I hear they have some openings. Also, what happened to Son of Zorn?  It was a funny show.  

Edgar Wright has a trilogy of movies called the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy-- Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and The World’s End. It’s about as loose of a trilogy as it can be. It’s a trilogy because in each movie the someone eats the same fictional brand of ice cream. Wright should have had Lang working at a Cornetto Ice Cream shop instead of Baskin Robbins to turn the trilogy into a quartet. Quartet? Is that what's one more than a trilogy?

I love Falcon’s cameo. Returning characters appearing in unexpected ways is one of my favorite things about these movies. Although, I do have a problem with how he arrived on the scene. I can buy a man shrinking to the size of an ant. I can buy a man controlling ants with his mind. But Falcon responding to a sensor that is set off by ants? That I cannot abide. Maybe they have high tech pest control at Avengers HQ.

I wonder if Edgar Wright ever had Captain America in his script. He had worked with Chris Evans on Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Brie Larson is also in that movie. That's both Captains. Martin Freeman is in all three of Wright’s Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy. David Bradley is in two of those movies. He gets killed off by Red Skull in the beginning of The First Avenger. Wright has a long history with MCU actors.

The biggest problem with this movie is the Hank/Hope relationship. The conflict between them is deep-seeded, complicated and should be emotional. But It's mostly in the backstory. And the backstory is all done with exposition. Then it's resolved with dialogue. It’s not the least bit visual. Hank leaving SHIELD is done with a flashback. Janet disappearing after going subatomic is done in flashback. 

Hank says Hope never looked at him the same after Janet disappeared. Why didn’t they show a glimpse of that in flashback? Hope had the deciding vote to cast her father out of his own company. That sounds like a crushing moment for Pym. Why isn’t that in flashback? This whole subplot couldn’t be less cinematic if they tried. This isn’t Edgar Wright’s typical style at all. This is the kind of laziness Every Frame a Painting contrasted against Edgar Wright’s work to make him look good. This is very disappointing.

Do I come across as not liking this movie? I have mostly quibbles. I love this movie. It’s loads of fun.

I like that Lang says, “Our first move should be calling the Avengers.” Pym responds, “This could change the texture of reality. Besides, they’re probably too busy dropping cities out of the sky.” Hank Pym created Ultron in the comics. He better hope that texture of reality doesn’t change too much. He’s not blameless in another reality. 

Earlier, Scott flies across a newspaper with the headline “Who’s to blame fo Sokovia?” Fun tidbit. 

The ability to control ants creeps me out a little. I can’t stop thinking about Killgrave. He is a great, creepy villain in Jessica Jones. His mind-control powers are a big part of his creepiness. I wonder if the ant world sees Pym and Lang as their Killgrave. To deactivate a bomb, Janet had to go subatomic so she could go through solid titanium. That small, how was she big enough to deactivate the bomb? I want to understand.

Hank Pym likes to remember his wife by looking at a picture of her hat. If they ever do recuts of these movies like they do with Star Wars, they should insert Michelle Pfieffer into that old picture of Hank and Janet. It’s a little odd that Hank’s favorite picture of his long lost wife doesn’t include her face.

Although this movie is a lot of fun, after reading Edgar Wright worked on it for eight years, I have to say, the directing and editing is a disappointing. I mean, Baby Driver came out just two years later and it is filled with verve and visual delights. Clearly, the director had much more of passion and panache in the latter's case. In comparison, the directing style of Ant-Man leaves the charisma of the actors to carry the movie—which is fine.  They do it well. 

Speaking of which: Michael Pena drives the last scene with more of Luis' storytelling. In the last bit of dialogue in the movie, he alludes to Spider-man. This is the first hint of Marvel’s most popular character. Marvel had been wrangling over rights to Spidey with Sony for years. He’s coming home. As an aside, there are a couple people in Wright’s Hot Fuzz with their faces painted like Spider-Man. It was almost prescient, like it was meant to be. Wait. What? Who’s Peyton Reed? Stan Lee Cameo— Bartender lip syncing to Luis’ story. Mid-Credits Scene— Hope gets a suit Post-Credits Scene— Sam knows a guy Returning Characters— Howard Stark, Peggy Carter, Falcon, Captain America, Bucky

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 11 of 21--Avengers:  Age of Ultron

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. The Avengers start this movie getting along with each other and being one big, happy team. Aah, the salad days. After the revelations in The Winter Soldier, Age of Ulton begins with them cleaning out the last bastion of Hydra devilry. With Loki’s old scepter, Hydra has enhanced some humans, twins Pietro and Wanda. “He’s fast. She’s weird.” Weirdo gives Tony a nightmare vision of the future. So he decides to create a safety net around the world. The safety net has other ideas. 

Of the first 21 movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there isn’t one that I wouldn’t happily sit down to rewatch.  But if I was (if I were? I need an editor) to rank them and place them on tiers, Age of Ultron would be on the lowest tier. Rewatching them in order, I expect it will be the last to be on the lowest tier. So that’s nice.

The problem with the storytelling:  although plenty of interesting and fun things happen throughout the movie, Ultron's villainy scheme isn't clearly explained until it is unfolding in the final act. The Avengers don't really know he's up to either. That’s a problem. They know they have to stop him, but they don't know what they have to stop. This kind of thing can work if it's made into a mystery. It isn’t. Whatever aspect of a mystery that might exist, gets buried under everything else that is going on — and there’s plenty going on with all of these characters. There is no sense of uncoiling menace to Ultron's plan. It’s too vague. His plan gets muddled under what he's doing with the twins and his desire for a body of flesh and bone. He has come to save the world and end the Avengers. But he can’t end the Avengers too soon or they’ll become martyrs [sigh]. Nine times out of ten, the “don’t kill them because we don’t want them to become martyrs” rational is poor reasoning. This is not the tenth. 

Bottom line: a big cast of heroes (Dirty Dozen, Ocean's Eleven) can have their heroes have interesting side-stories but, if they do, the villain needs to have a clear goal. If you have a bunch of heroes with diverse storylines, your villain must be FOCUSED — like Thanos who is focused like a laser beam. Infinity War is a longer movie with many, many more characters, but it is a tighter movie because Thanos’ goal is so clear. Ultron: recruit twins, get vibranium, acquire flesh and bone body to become a real boy, extinction event… Messy.

Another problem with this movie are the slow motion action scenes in slow. Slow-moed action is a pet peeve of mine. It can work if it is used properly for suspense or highlight a pivotal moment for a character.  Here, it is used to show off the grace and beauty of the Avengers fighting as a team. Viewers should stretch out their eye-rolling muscles before watching these scenes. They will get a workout.  

I do enjoy this movie. Why is it more fun to criticize than to compliment? What the MCU does have going for it, as opposed to some other franchises, is its sense of humor. Even if a movie is eye-roll inducing, it will still have plenty of charm, laughs and smiles along the way. It’s difficult not to like these movies. Sundry thoughts: 

— How did Hydra get their hands of Loki’s scepter? It was last seen on the top floor of Stark Tower. — Although never seen, Jane Foster is mentioned in the first two Avengers movies. --Ultron’s voice must come from a speaker. Why his jaw and mouth move so much when he doesn’t have lips is a mystery. --In Tony’s Scarlett Witch induced nightmare vision, all of the original six Avengers were dead except for him. How close will Endgame come to making this vision a reality? —Thor also has a vision. I don’t understand it. Does it have anything to do with Ragnorok? —Wakanda is first mentioned. --Bruce and Natasha are a couple. Bruce must be over Betty Ross? —JARVIS' last movie. — The actress who plays Princess Leia in Rogue One has a line: “How do you find it?” — Tony Stark says, “We’re The Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live-long day. But that up there that’s is the ENDGAME.”  He was talking about extraterrestrial threats. Foreshadowing, eh.

— Bruce Banner says, “Natasha, where can I go? Where IN THE WORLD am I not a threat?” Did they know he’d be going out of this world next for Ragnarok? But later, Fury says a Quinn jet splashed down into the sea. That must be a different jet, right? After splashing a jet into the sea, it can’t be flown to Jeff Goldblum’s gladiator planet of garbage, can it?

In a lot of ways, Age of Ultron is Jeremy Renner’s movie. It can be viewed as writer/director Joss Whedon’s apology to a two-time Oscar nominated actor for turning him into a mindless zombie. He was unhappy about his role in the first Avengers. Hawkeye gets hurt during a melee early in the movie. The mission gets expedited to save him. Surprise!!! Hawkeye has a family and home life. Then a series of movie tropes are used to foreshadow his death. This is meta-storytelling. Or postmodernism? Or deconstructionism? I’m doubting my vocabulary. But the misdirection is interesting. Hawkeye says, "I’m gonna live forever.” He tells his wife about home improvements he’ll work on as soon as he gets back from his mission. He has a baby on the way. His wife watches ruefully as he flies away into the dusky sky. He looks at a family photo before the final battle. At the end of the battle, he runs into danger because there is one last person to save. All of this is to set up his death, and then... This movie has the first hero to die, as opposed to “die”. In Civil War, Hawkeye is protective of Wanda. This is why. He owes those Maximoffs. He even named his baby Nathaniel “Pietro" Barton after Quicksilver.

Speaking of Civil War relationships, Tony and Steve part on happy terms. Natasha even mentions them staring into each other’s eyes. How quickly the worm turns. We see them next in Civil War. Stan Lee Cameo— Hard drinking WWII “excelsior” vet.

Mid Credits Scene— Thanos puts his hand into the gauntlet saying, “Fine, I'll do it myself.”  This seems to imply he has some relevance to the rest of Age of Ulton. In Thor’s last scene, he says that four Infinity Stones showing up recently can’t be a coincidence. Does Thanos have anything to do with this? Did I miss him pulling Ultron’s strings? But the opening shot of the movie is of Loki’s scepter with an infinity stone in it. So ending with the gauntlet is a nice bookend. 

Post Credits Scene— first movie since The Incredible Hulk to be totally sans. Returning Characters— Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Fury, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Hulk, Selvig, Falcon, War Machine, Maria Hill, JARVIS, Peggy Carter, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Heimdall, Strucker, Dr. List

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 10 of 21--Guardians of the Galaxy

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing.

Guardians of the — Who?  Why?  What is this?  This doesn’t seem smart to make a movie about characters nobody has heard of.

This is the first Marvel Cinematic Universe movie starring characters most people would have trouble spotting in a lineup, which is ironic because these characters are literally in a lineup. People complain about Hollywood not making anything new.  Then when they make movies about properties that are decades old — GotG, Ant-Man, Doctor Strange, Suicide Squad —  people complain about the old being too unfamiliar to deserve their chance at the big screen. Nothing is new and the old is too new.  I don’t remember hearing these complaints about Black Panther or Aquaman.  I’m not hearing them about Captain Marvel or Shazam. I guess people have eaten enough crow.

Ooga-chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-chaka Ooga-OogaOoga-chaka Ooga-OogaI can’t stop this feeling...

Peter was kidnapped and taken away from Earth as a boy. He would’ve been naive and lacking experience. He must not have known much about the world. And he probably knew that he didn’t know much about the world and that his vocabulary was limited. Listening to Awesome Mix, did he ever question the meaning of “Ooga-chaka”?

A little pointless trivia while discussing Guardians of the Galaxy: Which of the first 21 MCU movies is the only one to have no scenes set in The United States?  Yep, you guessed it. Thor: The Dark World

As I said while discussing The Dark World, the MCU, for a time, was criticized for having a villain problem. The Dark World and Guardian of the Galaxy have the blandest of the bland. Typically it would be a problem that a movie fails to make the near extermination of an entire planet seem important. But the movie is so fun, I don't care that I don't care. The movie is too much fun to worry about little things like dramatic tension and genocide. Who needs conflict with a supervillain when Peter and Rocket arguing is so entertaining?

That near genocide was almost caused by The Power Stone, the fourth Infinity Stone to be introduced. This is the first movie where the Infinity Stones are explained. It has their fullest explanation up until this point, at least. So at this point, we have The Space Stone, The Mind Stone, The Reality Stone and The Power Stone. Speaking of which, Thanos speaks his first lines in this movie. Writer/Director James Gunn said that this movie didn’t need Thanos, but the overall MCU did need him here — another example of serving two masters.

A lot of the main characters in these movies appeared to be dead or on the verge of death at some point -- Jeff Bridges takes out Tony's chest piece, Ed Norton falls from chopper, The Destroyer smacked Thor, Loki apparently killed Coulson, Tony falls from wormhole, Fury took Banner relaxation meds. Although I have a soft spot for Thor getting smacked to “death", Groot’s might be the most emotionally satisfying. But then Groot is the only one who actually died up until this point. Groot did die, yes? New Groot is New Groot and not Original Groot? Also, if Rocket would have put a couple sticks in that pot, would there now be two New Groots?

Tidbits:

—The Collector has collected a Dark Elf.  

—Freezing in the vacuum of space looked more ridiculous before The Last Jedi. Now, it looks pretty believable.

—Rocket has 12% of a plan. In The Avengers, Tony gave Pepper 12% of the credit for Stark Tower. I’m about 12% sure this means something.

This is one of my favorite MCU movie. Hands down, the biggest surprise of any of them thus far. The action is fun. The characters are lovable. Some of the dialogue is as witty as anything you’ll hear from The Marx Brothers or Woody Allen— I’m particularly fond of the “metaphor” bit. Guardians is a blast from start to finish.

Stan Lee Cameo—According to Rocket, he is Mr. Smiles, a Class A pre-vert.

Post Credits Scene— Howard the Duck doesn’t approve of doggie kisses.

Returning Characters— The Collector, Thanos

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 9 of 21--Captain America:  The Winter Soldier

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing.

Since the last time we saw him, Steve Rogers has been adjusting to the modern world after fending off an alien invasion. You know, like guys do after being asleep for 70 years. An old friend of Steve’s shows up unannounced. SHIELD has been developing a fleet of flying aircraft carriers along with an algorithm to defeat threats before they happen. A SHIELD divided against itself cannot stand.

Enter The Russo Brothers. They have directed three of the movies on My Top Five MCU Movies List.  Don’t ask me what the other two are because I don’t really have a Top Five List.  But the Russo Brothers do have three movies on it. Some say these movies are homogeneous in tone and that the directors aren't allowed to have distinct styles. That's unfair. Compared to the Joss Whedon Avengers movies, where physics not need not apply, The Winter Soldier is more akin to Jason Bourne or The Raid. Things have mass and matter not felt in the more dreamlike Avengers.

Compare Black Widow movie to movie. When the Winter Soldier is hunting Black Widow down through the streets. The sense of impending doom is palpable.  Scarlett Johansson projects great fear, like inescapable death is upon her. She reminds me of Hank Schrader on the ground at Uncle Jack’s feet. In The Avengers, when the Hulk chases her through the Helicarrier, Johansson looked like she was acting scarred. Being chased by the Winter Soldier, Black Widow looks terrified. That’s a distinction and a difference.

Also, in this movie, she is a superbly skilled fighter and athlete. In The Avengers, she had Jedi moves which stretched plausibility. The latter can be fun for an audience to watch. The former is more engaging. Heroes can get hurt. They are afraid. In a completely fantastic and unrealistic movie, reality seems to exist. An exception here is when Sam jumps from the 41st floor into a helicopter. That moment feels out of place. I would have better accepted that moment if he would have broken a few ribs there. Or a finger. Or his watch. Something should have broken.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is good about varying itself up, delving into a different genres. The first Captain America was a WWII flick. Ant-Man is a heist caper. Doctor Strange is a medical drama. And The Winter Soldier is a 1970s style political thriller, akin to The Parallax View, Black Sunday, Marathon Man, and many more that I haven’t seen--but would highly recommend anyway. It was a fine time for a genre. But All the President’s Men is the one we care about here because Robert Redford is in it. No, Three Days of the Condor is the one we care about here because Robert Redford is in it.

Like Three Days of the Condor, The Winter Soldier is about a guy who stumbles across information he doesn’t understand that forces him to go on the run from his own organization. Max von Sydow is kind of like The Winter Soldier. Captain America is like Robert Redford. Robert Redford is like Cliff Robertson. Cliff Robertson is like Uncle Ben. Come to think of it, the Condor is a CIA analyst. So he's more like Jack Ryan than The Winter Soldier. So forget I said anything about The Winter Soldier. Where was I? Ah, yes…

In The Winter Soldier, Agent Sitwell says the algorithm is targeting “...Bruce Banner, Steven Strange, anyone who’s a threat to Hydra.” This is Doctor Strange’s first mention— 2 1/2 years before he had his own movie. What is Strange’s timeline? Is he already a sorcerer at this point? Or did the algorithm figure he would be The Sorcerer Supreme? The latter makes more sense. Between his car accident and the end of his movie might have been a timespan of years. The events of that movie likely have started by the time of The Winter Soldier.

These movies do so well with weaving together with each other to build a universe, but they have disappointed when it comes to integrating the TV shows. The best use of movie/TV connectivity is with The Winter Soldier and Agents of SHIELD. AoS aired on a Tuesday. The Winter Soldier was released on a Friday. Four days later, Agents of SHIELD was completely changed by the events of the movie. This kind of thing is rewarding for an audience.

The Russos say a couple scenes were inspired by Alfred Hitchcock: the slow car chase and the elevator fight. The fight in the elevator has a beautiful setup. CA boards an empty elevator, a couple toughs follow. One has his hand tensely on his weapon. Down a floor, more toughs enter. Down another floor, more toughs enter. Steve notices he is surrounded in a small space. He sees sweat dripping down one man’s brow. He slowly realizes he’s in trouble before trouble takes action. Great buildup by directors who understand classic film language. It is like watching Tippi Hedren smoke a cigarette while crows amass on a playground.

The buildup is also reminiscent of Cary Grant being alone and helpless at a bus stop in the middle of a cornfield as he realizes he’s about to be assassinated by a “kamikaze" crop-duster. Hmmmmmm. That scene doesn’t seem as ridiculous while watching North by Northwest as it does while describing it.

At one point in the movie, we see an old newspaper article about Howard Stark dying in a car crash. While Zola says “accidents will happen”. Later, Black Widow hands Stave a dossier on The Winter Solider saying, “Be careful Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread.” This is all groundwork for Civil War. It’s so 20/20 with hindsight.

At another point, Fury says, “The last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye.” With the revelation of Captain Marvel, that’s kind of funny. Speaking of Captain Marvel, when Fury thought he was dying in The Winter Soldier, he handed Steve a flash drive with SHIELD info on it. Why didn’t he hand off the Captain Marvel pager?

Some miscellaneous tidbits:  --It’s difficult to say, “On your left” without feeling like you’re doing a Captain America impression.—Steve has seen War Games?  Watching that movie was surprisingly high on his To Do list.--Co-director Joe Russo plays a doctor in this movie. He also plays a corpse in Civil War.--Maria Hill ends up applying for a job at Stark Industries. —Fury’s tombstone reads "The path of the riotous man…” Very Jules Winnfield-ish. I guess that’s a better epitaph than most Jules quotes would be.

Stan Lee Cameo— Security Guard at the Smithsonian Institute.

Mid Credits Scene—“It’s not the age of spies anymore, or even of heroes. It’s the age of miracles. And there’s nothing more horrifying than a miracle.”

Post Credits Scene—Bucky goes to the Bucky exhibit at The Smithsonian.

Returning Characters— Captain America, Black Widow, Bucky, Nick Fury, Agent Sitwell, Maria Hill, Peggy Carter, Zola, Councilwoman Hawley, Senator Stern, Cameron Klein

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 8 of 21--Thor:  The Dark World

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing.

Destroying the bifrost in the first movie spun all the realms into chaos. Thor has been tidying up the chaos into manageable working order. While pining for his return, Jane Foster awakens an infinity stone which awakens The Dark Elves who want to go back to the literal dark age.

The Dark World has the lowest score of any Marvel Cinematic Universe movie on Rotten Tomatoes, which makes it a bad movie in the MCU.  Aquaman has the second highest score for a DC Extended Universe movie, which makes it good. Would you like to guess how much better Aquaman’s score is compared to The Dark World’s? Go ahead. It’ll be fun for ya.

Fandral is not played by (Louisville born/New Albany native) Josh Dallas this time. He is played by Zachary Levi. That same Zachary Levi who is about to play Captain Marvel, not that same Captain Marvel that Brie Larson is playing, but that other Captain Marvel.

The Reality Stone is the MacGuffin of this movie, Loki’s scepter from The Avengers was the second Infinity Stone to make an appearance, making this the third to be seen. And for the first time, the Infinity Stones as a group are mentioned.

For years, critics of the MCU said that it had a “villain problem” because most of its villains aren’t memorable. The Dark Elves in The Dark World and Ronin in Guardians of the Galaxy are the best example of blandness. Even if their villainy storylines aren’t top-notch, actors with human faces—Tim Roth, Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Corey Stoll-- can at least make their performances charismatic. Actors with crazy alien heads have a harder time of it. You want to love to hate a villain. These bad guys with heavy makeup are just sorta there. Defenders say that Marvel's heroes are so interesting and likable that great villains aren’t needed. That’s true to some degree.

The main villain, Malekith, is in one of my favorite action scenes in the MCU. He gets into a tussle with Thor as portals are being created every which way. That fight takes place on a few different planets almost simultaneously, very inventive. CGI action fantasy is rarely put to better use than this. Although it’s a fun ride, I’m not clear on how the Selvig devices create additional portals. But then I’m not clear on how the internal combustion engine works either and they’ve taken me on plenty of fun rides.

Of all the actors who have not wanted to return or could not return to their roles--Terence Howard, Edward Norton, Hugo Weaving, Josh Dallas —Natalie Portman is the one I miss the most. There's a nice Tracey/Hepburn quality to her relationship with Thor. I say that having never seen a Tracey/Hepburn movie. They have what I imagine to be that classic Tracey/Hepburn chemistry.

Oh, and Aquaman has a 65% on Rotten Tomatoes, whereas The Dark World has a 67% score. Two out of six of the DCEU movies are fresh whereas 21 out of 21 MCU movie are.

According to Box Office Mojo, the DCEU movies average 318 million at the box office whereas the MCU movies average 343 million. I believe DC was ahead in that numbers game until 2018 when Black Panther and Infinity War became the two biggest comic book movies ever, boosting that average up. A pet peeve of mine is when people focus on box office results. Am I a stockholder? What difference does it make to me? But here I am partaking.

Bit o’ trivia: This is the first movie without the name “Stark” anywhere to be heard.

I want to see a Tracey/Hepburn movie now. Maybe on April 27th.

Stan Lee Cameo— Selvig’s shoeless pupil.

Mid Credits Scene— Sif and Volstagg give The Collector an Infinity Stone. Peter Quill questions the wisdom of this decision during Infinity War.

Post Credit’s Scene— See Jane, played by Natalie Portman, in a room alone. See Thor. See Jane recast. See Elsa Pataky kiss Thor. BTW--Elsa Pataky is Chris Hemsworth’s wife. This is the first time in the MCU where two actors played the same character in the same movie. Natalie Portman got Bela Lugosied and lived to tell the tale.

Returning Characters— Thor, Loki, Jane Foster, Odin, Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun, Heimdall, Frigga, Selvig, Darcy

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 7 of 21--Iron Man 3

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing.

Pepper is now CEO of Stark Industries. Tony was a jerk in his younger days. The mistakes of one’s youth makes the super-villains of one’s present. This particular villain discovered a cure for dismemberment. Tony has been having portal-induced panic attacks since introducing a portal to a nuclear warhead.

This begins Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Why does Phase 2 start here?  What does this change of phases mean for the average fan? What is a Phase? Let me answer all of those question by saying: This is the beginning of Phase 2.

Now that I think about it, what’s different in Phase 2 is that we have entered the “superheroes do not need to inconvienience their superhero friends when mayhem ensues” era of the MCU. At one point, Happy tells Tony that he wants things to be how they used to be before Tony started hanging out with the superfriends.  Tony could have been helped by hanging out with the superfriends during this movie. Does he not want to bother them? Are they busy? The U.S. president gets kidnapped. Captain America would probably be willing to clear his schedule. Maybe he's too busy catching up on The Twilight Zone and Seinfeld.

Is Iron Man 3 is a Christmas movie? It has Christmas trees and Christmas lights and it has a Christmas music soundtrack. The reasons for this story-wise are nonexistent. But Director Shane Black likes Christmas movie. So there you go. Tony thinks a kid wanting his autograph looks like Ralphie. We learned in the first movie that Peter Billingsley works for Stark Industries. That’s almost interesting.

Speaking of almost interesting things, Jon Favreau, who directed the first two Iron Man movies, did not direct the third. But he did returned to play Happy Hogan. And speaking of Christmas movies and Peter Billingsley, he is in Elf, which is also directed by Jon Favreau. Favreau was hired to direct Iron Man based on the success of Elf. He was seen as a bankable director. The whole Marvel Cinematic Universe is born out of Elf. That sentence may be a stretch, but it’s typed now, so what can you do?

Uh oh. I feel a long paragraph coming on filled with petty complaints. In an attempt to add brevity, I’m going to type this paragraph all in one breath and stop there, no more. [big inhale]  A couple things that drive me crazy about this movie regard the Iron Man suits themselves. Tony implants implants into his arm so the suits know how to align when he summons them to fly onto his body. But he just basically points at Pepper to make the suits fly onto her. How does that work? And Tony, Rhodey, Pepper, President Ellis and that bad guy all wear iron suits at some point. Are these suits one-size-fits-all? I’d like to see all of these people in a lineup. There doesn’t appear to be much elastic around the mid-section of the Mach 42. Also, in the other movies, the big technological breakthrough was not the suits. It was the power source. In this movie, his suits break apart into a bunch of pieces and fly all over everywhere disconnected from their power source which is in Tony’s chest. And for a long stretch of the movie, Tony doesn’t have a suit because it needs to be charged up. Why does it need to be charged when he has the power source imbedded in his body? I hate to go getting all finicky, but the rules of this technology in have been set. They must follow the rules or [gasps for air] My fingers are strong. My lungs are weak. Moving on.

Now, a more substantive complaint:  The villainous scheme. I like judging villains by their evil plans. Forty years later, for me, the gold standard of villainous schemes is still Lex Luther buying up worthless desert out west and programing a nuclear missile to hit the San Andreas Fault. He does this in order to drop California into the sea which will give him a whole coastline of prime oceanfront real estate. That’s a clever idea. Stopping that is a job worthy of Superman.

In Iron Man 3, the villains need Tony’s help to—wait, no— thy need to kill Tony because—wait, no—they need to kidnap Pepper to force Tony to—wait, no—they need to kill Tony because— ummm, I can’t keep up with their motives. Another part of their big plan is to kill the president so they can become the vice president’s healthcare provider. Do I have that right? To be fair, their plan is to own both sides of The War on Terror. But the story is told in a muddled way.

Even though the overall narrative of this movie is messy and unfocused, it’s filled with fun scene after fun scene, funny moments and witty dialogue. The forrest is frightful. The trees are delightful.

Tony goes for a long stretch of the movie without one of his iron suits. He must rely on his MacGyveresque wits and creativity to take on the superpowered baddies. Good stuff. When his suit finally returns to him, it comes in stages. He fights a group of bad guys in their lair with only his right glove and left boot. Every time he takes someone out, he sets himself careening out of control. That’s scene is a hoot. I am fond.

Many fans of Iron Man from the comics became irate with this movie. It was billed as the introduction of The Mandarin. The Mandarin is Iron Man’s archenemy and looked to be played by Ben Kingsley, but !!!SPOILER ALERT!!! The Mandarin turned out not to be The Mandarin. He turned out to be a drunk actor named Trevor who was hired by the main villain to scare people. The main villain is rather run-of-the-mill and boring. Imagine months of hype about The Joker being in a Batman movie only to realize while watching the movie that The Joker was just some drunkard Carmine Falcone paid to act crazy. People were none too happy. But as someone who isn’t a fan of Iron Man from the comics, I thought it was a bold and inventive twist.

So Ben Kingsley was the Mandarin—until he wasn’t. Then Guy Pearce said he was the real Mandarin. But in the All Hail the King one-shot someone tries to break Ben Kingsley out of prison because the real Mandarin wants to see him. This would make Guy Pearce a fake Mandarin also. So there is the possibility that the Mandarin could be a future villain in another movie. This does seem unlikely to happen anytime soon. The Mandarin wears ten rings. Each ring gives him a different power. Even if Robert Downey Jr. continues on as Iron Man (or if he leaves and Iron Man is recast), the quota of superpowered hand jewelry has been used up by Thanos.

Tony Stark narrates this movie, which is new. I’m not a fan of narration. After William Holden explained how he got to be a corpse in Sunset Boulevard, narration has gone downhill. Well, I guess it works for Apocalypse Now. Frank Drebin did some good voice over work. Jacob Tremblay did some good narration for Room. Jacob Tremblay did some good narration for Wonder. Harrison Ford did some nearly tolerable narration for Blade Runner. However, the narration was even better in the Director’s Cut after it was removed.

Stan Lee Cameo— A happy judge at a beauty pageant.

Post Credits scene— Oh, the narration isn't narration. Stark has been talking to Bruce Banner for the whole movie as if Banner is his therapist—or as if someone is trying to say that this iteration of Bruce Banner is going to be around for more than one movie. Mark Ruffalo is the first actor to do so.

Returning Characters— Iron Man, Potts, Happy Hogan, Bruce Banner, Rhodey, JARVIS

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 6 of 21--The Avengers

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing.

This movie starts with Loki coming to Earth and snagging the Tesseract from SHIELD. He needs it in order to open a portal for his rented army, which is bivouacked on the other side of the universe, to be able to advance upon New York.

I've always been a sucker for crossovers. They are inherently fun. As a kid, Arnold and Willis meeting Tootie and Blair was event television. John Munch has appeared on 10 different TV shows -- making The X-Files, Law & Order and Arrested Development all exist within the same universe. How 'bout them fun apples?

They say this is a first for this kind of thing. Joss Whedon said, “What we’re doing here is completely unprecedented. Marvel is taking the characters and bringing them all together in a team franchise movie experience which has really never been done before.” Even though he apparently has never heard of Roger Rabbit, The Avengers is the biggest crossover ever, only to be surpassed by its sequel, which was surpassed by Captain America’s sequel, which was surpassed by The Avenger’s sequel’s sequel.

I’ve never seen Alien vs. Predator or Freddy vs. Jason or King Kong vs. Godzilla or Etcetera vs. Etcetera. Those movies always seemed gimmicky. The Avengers, although well planned, seemed to have grown organically. With a Maria Hill exception, all of the main characters, along with many minor characters, were introduced in the five previous movies. The DC Extended Universe introduced most of its main characters in its second movie (Batman, Alfred, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash), which has been problematic for them. The wider Marvel universe seems well thought out — and yet they seem to be making it up as they go. Kind of like going to good a concert. As fans, that’s what we want.

Trivial observations:

--There’s a couple scenes where Agent Coulson talks about seeing a cellist. We learn in Agents of SHIELD that he’s talking about Amy Acker. Pipe dream: I would love to see Amy Acker in Endgame. I would love to see Ming-Na Wen’s Melinda May in Endgame. I would love to see any TV shows referenced in a movie. Pipe dream.

— A little girl deceives Bruce Banner into thinking her father is deathly ill in order to lure him amidst a firing squad of armed men hiding in the shadows. Natasha had paid the little girl to do this. Natasha and Bruce must be made for each other. That’s adorable. That’s the kind of meet-cute they’ll enjoy telling their grandchildren about.

--Natasha takes Bruce onto a Helicarrier where he meets Steve Rogers. This is the first scene with two title characters together.

--Thor thought Loki was dead. What else is new? Well, this is new. But it’s the first of a few.

--Thor says the Earth is under his protection. Loki laughs and says, “Good job" and talks about  humans slaughtering each other. How does this jive with Iron Man successfully privatizing world peace?

The Avengers has countless fun moments, but it is too self-aware of itself for its own good. Loki’s plan involves breaking up the Avengers before they are even together. The characters sometimes talk about teamwork like they know it is the theme of the movie they are starring in. There’s a long portion mid-movie that is very dialogue heavy, scene after scene. It’s a slog.

Even with all of that, seeing these characters come together for the first time is a joy. It’s fun to watch them be friendly. It’s even more fun to watch them not getting along. It’s a fine bit of entertainment.

Stan Lee Cameo— A man-on-the-street interview, “Superheroes in New York. Give me a break."

Mid Credits Scene— Hello, Thanos.

Post Credits Scene— Shawarma. This scene was shot between the movie’s premiere and its wide release. Crazy. Chris Evans has a prosthetic cheek because he has his Snowpiecer beard on. Crazy.

Returning Characters — Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Fury, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Hulk, Loki, Pepper Potts, Agent Coulson, Selvig, JARVIS, Agent Sitwell

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 5 of 21--Captain America:  The First Avenger

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. During World War II, Steve Rogers wants to do his part to stop the Nazis because he doesn’t like bullies. He desperately wants to join the army but is a sickly young man so he cannot serve. Dr. Erskine, a military scientist, witnesses Rogers’ spirit and makes him the frontrunner for a super soldier experiment. 

Starting with Captain America: The First Avenger and ending (or not?) with Endgame, Chris Evans will have played Cap in at least one movie a year since 2011, nine consecutive years. This looks to be a record tying statistic. Johnny Weissmuller played Jungle Jim every year from 1948 to 1956.  And coming in tied for third is Bubba Smith with his portrayal of Moses Hightower from 1984 to 1989***.

This is the first MCU movie set primarily in a different era, the 1940s. The next time this happens will be a movie about another Captain five decades later. Red Skull finds The Tesseract in a wall in Norway. It is hidden inside of a carving of the Yggdrasil tree. Thor explained this tree to Jane during the last movie-- Norse mythology tied to Norse mythology in Norway as if it was meant to be.

Steve Rogers starts this movie as a little, skinny guy. This must be one of the best special effects ever. (It’s kind of a precursor to the de-aging that is later done to a few actors.) Chris Evans looks remarkably convincing being tiny. Visually, this is very good. Aurally, the voice sounds dubbed even though it isn't. It’s the body that’s dubbed.

Something that bothers me about these movies is that the heroes wouldn't be needed if they hadn't inspired the villains to be bad. If Stark wouldn't have invented his weapons, he wouldn't need to stop their abuse. If the Hulk didn't need to be stopped, Tim Roth wouldn't have been an abomination. If Thor wasn't becoming king, Loki wouldn't be so jealous. It's not until the fifth movie that the villain has an evil plan that he would have hatched without the hero — unless you consider Stanley Tucci the hero of this picture. Even though he has good evily motivations, Red Skull’s storyline is nothing special.  Steve Roger’s storyline is. This movie makes me love Captain America. He might be the best superhero role model. He pushes all of my “ hrow thyself on a grenade", “ always do the right thing no matter the cost" buttons. And having a superhero do a propaganda tour to sell war bonds is a bold, offbeat idea for a movie like this. (“propaganda” isn’t necessarily a pejorative, is it?)

Colonel Tommy Lee Jones tells Cap not to help save some POWs. Agent Carter helps Cap defy orders. Cap is gone a while. Colonel reprimands Carter as he’s writing a letter about Cap being missing and presumed dead. While he’s doing this,  Cap shows up with 400 now-former POWs and says, "I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action.” I see the filmmakers manipulating me. I see how they're manipulating me. Oh, man, that scene makes me feel like a softy.

We see CA has a picture of Carter in his watch locket. What is she to him? She shot at him the last time we saw them together. Did they edit out their romantic relationship from one of the montages? If not, Captain America is kind of creepy. Dominic Cooper is the third actor to play Howard Stark, following John Slattery in Iron Man 2 who followed some dude’s headshot in the first Iron Man. Howard and Bucky—If you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer, wouldn’t it be wise to share a scene with your future assassin? Howard didn’t. So the answer must be “yes”. Bucky falls off a train, setting him up to be The Winter Soldier. He falls a long way, by the way. He would be more believable as The Winter Soldier if his arm survived but the rest of him didn’t.

Each of these movies must serve itself as an individual movie while also serving the greater universe. The conflict between serving the two masters might be most apparent here. Turning Cap into a capsicle was paramount to serving the universe. But to do so he had to end up in the middle of nowhere. If they were trying to make the most exciting movie they could, Cap would have been closer to a population center, a big city, a skyline, an etc... The only hint of land anywhere is the hinterlands. This losses dramatic tension for one movie while it gains an Avenger for a few more. Stan Lee cameo— A Four Star “I thought he’d be taller” General

Post Credits Scene— The first trailer for The Avengers.

Returning Characters— Howard Stark, Nick Fury

***(footnote) who would be tied with Michael Winslow who would be tied with David Graf who would be tied with Marion Ramsey who would be tied with George Gaynes who would be tied with Mickey Rooney. BTW—These stats are compiled via quick research. Prove me wrong and you’ll win my admiration.

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 4 of 21--Thor

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. The movie starts with Thor about to be crowned king of Asgard. Before this can happen, a brouhaha breaks out in the Weapons Room. Thor sees this as an act of war. Papa Odin does not. Thor goes against King Dad’s orders and attacks the planet of the infiltrators. Odin strips Thor of this hammer and powers casts him out of Asgard, sending him to Earth — where scientist Natalie Portman hits him with her car.

Abracadabra. Now, it's magic time. The previous movies were all "science based”, Iron Man with technology and Hulk with biology. Actually, Thor is "based on science" too. It's of that "science and magic are one and the same” variety. The science is sword in the stone-ish. Thor is Arthur needing to be worthy to pull the sword out of the stone.

Tangent:  Does King Arthur have two origin stories? Is anybody clear on how The Lady of the Lake fits in? Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. But should supreme executive power derive from a hammer being pulled out of a stone instead of from a mandate from the masses?

Nobody can lift the hammer in the desert. Could they dig underneath it with a backhoe and lift it that way? Obviously, it would have to be a worthy backhoe— kind of like it would have to be a worthy elevator.

This movie introduces Clint Barton. When he gets his own movie, it could be titled "Hawkeye: The Reclusive Avenger". He is perceived to be one of the main characters, but he has only been in four movies. That’s less than Pepper, Rhodey, Loki, Bucky and Falcon.  Phil Coulson beat him to five — and he "died" seven years ago.

While we’re counting: Fury and Coulson both hit the 3-movie mark here, tying them with Stark.

In the backstory, King Odin kidnapped baby Loki from King Laufey to unite their two kingdoms and bring about peace. Nothing bridges inter-kingdom divides like a good kidnapping. Odin is supposed to be wise. I’m not sure he does wisdom right.

Iron Man fights a bigger iron man. Hulk fights a bigger hulk. Iron Man fights an iron man with whips and a bunch of iron drones. Thor is the first time battle happens with an opponent with different abilities. Things are more interesting this way, methinks.

This is a very nice movie. Looking back on it, it seems small somehow. That’s not a bad thing. It does everything it needs to do and doesn’t get bogged down. I like the Earth fish-out-of-water scenes more than the space fish in space water scenes. It makes me miss Natalie Portman. Thor and Jane together are cute and charming— maybe the best couple in the MCU. Did I say I miss Natalie Portman? Stan Lee Cameo—He tears up his truck while trying to pull the hammer from the stone.

Post-Credits scene— Fury shows the Teseract to Selvig, which is the first time we see an Infinity Stone. This ends up being the MacGuffin for the next two movies. Also, the events of The Incredible Hulk are shown as breaking news on a monitor in Iron Man 2. And Coulson is shown in Iron Man 2 during the events of Thor. So the past three movies have an overlapping timeframe.

Returning Characters— Agent Coulson, Nick Fury

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 3 of 21--Iron Man 2

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. In hindsight, it’s a little surprising that Iron Man 2 is the third movie. Marvel had dozens of characters they were trying to establish but they went quickly back to square one. This did solidify Iron Man as the leading character— amongst his fictional peers and for Marvel. 

After the events of the first Iron Man, Tony Stark’s power source, needed to keep him alive, is killing him. This makes him a bit gloomy throughout the movie. He has also successfully privatized world peace. Congress wants his technology. Stark arrogantly says nobody will match his work for decades. In the opening scene, Ivan Vanko’s (Mickey Rourke’s) father dies watching Tony Stark publicly outing himself as a superhero. Ivan’s dad dies saying, “It should have been you, Ivan, if only those awful Starks hadn’t robbed us.” This sets Vanko out for vengeance: your daddy was mean to my daddy so I’m going to be mean to you. This movie is the Hatfields and McCoys of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  “Legacy" is Iron Man 2’s theme. That’s the idea it left me with, anyway.

Tony Stark is introduced with the sounds of AC/DC. Well, if it worked the first time…He emerges out his Iron Man suit wearing a tuxedo. Is this an homage to Goldfinger with James Bond wearing a tux under his scuba suit? Tony Stark is kind of like James Bond without the gadgets. Hey, it’s Olivia Munn!!! If they ever combine the X-Men world to the MCU, Psylocke will have a backstory as a TV reporter. Hey, it’s Kate Mara!!! If they ever combine the Fantastic Four world to the MCU, The Invisible Girl will have a backstory as a US Marshal. This is the commentary on Garry’s scene. It’s Garry's scene. I’m almost halfway finished. How do you like it so far. How do you like the commentary on Garry scene?-- If you don’t appreciate that, YouTube “Garry Shandling theme song”. If you still don’t appreciate that, you are not my soulmate. And if you don’t think “YouTube” is a verb, I’m open to being persuaded of the error of my ways. And with Winter Soldier hindsight being 20/20, Shandling's role here is more sinister than it initially appeared.

When Howard Stark was shown on a screen in the first movie, he had another face. This makes him the first character in the MCU to be recast.  Shortly thereafter, Rhodey is the second. He is introduced with meta-dialogue:  “I’m here. It’s me. Deal with it. Let’s move on.” Ain’t they clever.

Natasha Romanoff is introduced in this movie. Fury has a cameo in the post-credits scene in Iron Man. Stark has a cameo in the pre-post-credits scene in The Incredible Hulk. With Black Widow and Fury, this is the first time major “floating characters" have major roles in another character’s movie. Coulson finds a star spangled shield in Tony’s house. My sixth sense tells me that an observant viewer might find a callback to this in future movies. A blink and you'll miss it Easter egg, perchance. 

Spider-Man cameo? Vanko has created drones to attack The Stark Expo. One starts to attack a small child who is wearing an Iron Man costume. The kid raises his hand in an Iron Man-like pose as the real Iron Man destroys the drone. Tom Holland says this kid is a young Peter Parker. Tom Holland may not be an authority on the matter, but it’s a fun notion.

Stark is brought to a SHIELD location where Fury tells him he’s not Avenger material.  Scenes from The Incredible Hulk can be scene on a monitor. A map is on another screen that has some nation in Africa highlighted. This foreshadows a future Best Picture Nomination.

Although it’s often enjoyable— especially with Tony’s quips and RDJ’s charm—  this is my least favorite MCU movie. I wrote a long paragraph about how the movie falls apart at the Birthday Party scene, then I backspaced over it. That paragraph was much more insightful and profound in my head than it was in text. You are welcome to read my mind. Stan Lee Cameo— as Larry King

Post-Credits Scene— Agent Coulson finds a hammer in the desert.

Returning Characters— Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan, Rhodey, Nick Fury, Agent Coulson, JARVIS, Christine Everhart 

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 2 of 21--The Incredible Hulk

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. First of all, I was told some of the references in the previous installment were too esoteric. I don’t even know what that means because I’m not privy to a fancy vocabulary. I will be ignoring that advice. In the future, please make your criticisms less recondite.

The Incredible Hulk isn’t really an origin story. Ang Lee’s, now apocryphal, Hulk is an origin story. Origin stories can be fun and add insight into the character. They can be overdone.  The Incredible Hulk splits the difference by cleverly doing a lightening-fast recap over the opening credits—just like I thought they would do with Spider-Man: Homecoming, which they did not. But since I’m here to point out pointless information, there you go.

The movie starts with Bruce Banner being on the run from the authorities. His ex-girlfriend’s dad, General Ross, sees Hulk abilities as property of the US government. Bruce wants to be left alone to become and become a normal person again. A mysterious scientist on the other end of his computer is trying to help him get get on the road to normalcy. 

After the opening credits, the movie begins at the Rochina favela in Brazil where Bruce Banner is hiding out. There’s an aerial establishing shot of the favela. It is a real shot, not a special effect. I didn’t know what a favela was until this movie. It’s breathtaking. It makes me want to visit it. But it looks frighteningly foreign to my mid-western sensibilities. If only there was a way to see the sights without actually being there...I’ll meditate on that while I watch the movie. I like Edward Norton as Bruce Banner. I like Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner. I dislike both of them as Bruce Banner.

Norton's thinness makes for a good contrast for the transformation of his character.  Unlike the stockier Mark Ruffalo, Norton almost looks frail, even though he isn’t. He's certainly in good enough shape to handle himself in avoiding a fight. Am I saying the 5’8” Mark Ruffalo turning into a 10’ green monster isn’t much of a transformation because he has a little more meat on his bones?  Yes, that is what I’m saying. And I stand by it. 

Bruce Banner likes to tell people that they wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. I'd hate to hurt his feelings, but we all like him better when he’s angry. These movies would be pretty dull affairs if he didn’t get angry.  I mean, the movie isn’t titled The Incredible Bruce Banner for a reason. Although, I do hope if Bruce reads this, he does not get angry with me.

Lou Ferrigno as "Security Guard”.

General Ross says the military was working on a super soldier project during World War II. My sixth sense tells me that an observant viewer might find a callback to this scene in future movies, a blink and you'll miss it Easter egg, perchance. 

General Ross uses SHIELD’s database to locate Banner. Agent Coulson having introduced SHIELD in Iron Man makes this the first connection between two movies, the first building block to a universe. 

Some of Banner’s blood drips on Tim Blake Nelson which makes his head visually throb and pulsate?  Why does it do that? Oh, he’s playing Samuel Sterns!!!  They’re setting him up to play The Leader in The Incredible Hulk 2!!!  Tim Blake Nelson is great!!! I can’t wait to see that— especially after enjoying him as Buster Scruggs recently. Let’s see, sequels usually come out in 2 to 4 years. I’m eager, but I can wait until 2012.

Samuel Sterns and Betty Ross are the two majorest characters we’ve gone the longest without seeing. Tim Roth's Abomination’s story was wrapped up pretty well with his arrest.

Tony Stark shows up at the end of the movie to inform General Ross about a team being put together, making it clear that this is indeed a connected universe. In 2008, Who could imagine how big that universe would eventually become?  As of this writing there have been 21 movies, 11 TV shows, 5 short films and 2 digital series. 

This is one of my least favorite MCU movies even though I don’t have any major complaints about it. Other movies I find more enjoyable have bigger problems. This one stays mildly enjoyable throughout.  It has lower highs and higher lows than any other. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. I’m sure of it.   Stan Lee cameo— He drinks a gamma-contaminated Pingo Doce soda and collapses. The cameo isn’t only fun and funny, it jumpstarts the plot. How often are his cameos essential to the plot?  I’ll start counting: That’s one. Post-credits scene— The only one of 21 with neither a post-credits nor mid-credits scene. Inexplicably, the post-credits scene is pre-credits. This steps on the final moment of the main movie, making it less memorable. The audience should have sat through the entire closing credits contemplating what Bruce Banner’s smile means as his eyes glow green. Instead, they cut immediately to a scene that has nothing to do with anything. They eventually created The Consultant, a DVD extra, to explain it away, making it even less relevant. They don’t make this mistake again.

Returning Characters— Tony Stark

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

The Path to Avengers: Endgame. Part 1 of 21--Iron Man

Observations and opinions. Feel free to disagree. I ain’t trying to convince you of nothing. First of all, I need to confess that when I first heard of this movie, I thought it was going to be about Denis Thatcher.

11 years ago. Yikes!!!  That was so long ago. George W Bush was president, Tom Holland wasn’t yet born, The Godfather Pt. III won Best Picture and the Macarena was a dance craze sweeping the nation. (Please don’t fact-check. My lying memory has a fragile ego.)  One of the first lines in the movie is about MySpace. That’s a reference Steve Rogers would understand.

In the opening sequences, our hero makes fun of a woman for appearing manly, cavalierly jokes about making weapons of mass destruction for his own profit and ignores a crowd of people gathered to honor him. Quite an auspicious start for the most epic franchise in cinematic history— very un-Denis Thatcher-like, I assume. (I really don’t know that much about Mr. Thatcher.)  Robert Downey Jr. does it all with so much charisma that he’s likable being unlikable so that even the more likable characters seem unlikable for disapproving of his dislikability.  They say directing is 90% casting. Jon Favreau must have relaxed a bit when RDJ was hired.

Tony is kidnapped in Afghanistan. His kidnappers want him to make a super-weapon for them. He outsmarts them and escapes. He holds a news conference immediately after returning to home. He sits in front of the lectern with his microphone two feet over his head, a foot behind him and pointing in the opposite direction. Now, I can suspend disbelief regarding a man in a flying suit, a man turning into a giant green monster and a man shrinking and going subatomic. But when there’s a room full of media folk and not one of them asks him to step to the mic, that’s where I draw the line. And, yes, I do work in TV.

Tony has a crisis on conscious and decides to stop manufacturing weapons.  On a side note— in The Last Jedi, when Benicio Del Toro talks about weapons manufacturers who sell to both the good guys and the bad guys, what is the point of that? It doesn’t go anywhere. It doesn’t advance the story. That’s a sign of a movie that is trying to do too much because it doesn’t know what it is. If you look closely, you might be able so see Obadiah Stane in the casino. Pardon my mind for wandering.

Sundry Tidbits-- --Jeff Bridges tries to get Peter Billingsley to rebuild Stark’s super-gizmo for his super-suit. That dude can’t even shoot a BB gun without breaking his glasses. --Coulson says this isn’t his first rodeo. Will Captain Marvel be his first rodeo?   --Has a movie ever had more than 20 sequels or “sequels"?  Dr. No, I guess. But its last four entries have been a reboot so they don’t count in my book. And this is my book. --Terrence Howard looks at a spare Iron Man suit and says, “Next time, baby.”  Not to be.  I’ve read conflicting reports on why he left. Should I look for a definitive answer?  Would that make me not like someone?  Would I hold a grudge against somebody?  No good can come from that.  Blissful ignorance it is. --“I am Iron Man.”  There will be no secret identities in this universe until a friendly neighborhood secret identity shows up 15 more movies from now — well, except for Daredevil. But he’s more of a side-universe. --Solid first entry. This is my favorite MCU until 2014. It’s an almost perfect movie. My biggest problem with it is I’ve seen it too many times.  It’s not as fresh to me as it used to be. I blame the director. Stan Lee cameo— portrays Hugh Hefner Post-Credits scene— Nick Fury shows up saying, “You think you’re the only superhero in the world…I’m here to tell you about The Avenger Initiative.”  At this point, what other superheroes does Fury know about?  Ant-Man and the Wasp?  He definitely knows about Captain Marvel.  And I had to look up “The Avengers” when I got home. That was so long ago.

[dumbestpersoniknow-blog]

Hey, I’m on tumblr.