doescum-havecalories

[doescum-havecalories]

Fucking Delicious Caramel Latte (At home!) - About 30-60 calories

I recently got a bunch of 0 cal 0 sugar flavoured syrups and I’ve been looking for something to use them for for like 2 days. I was drinking my first cup of black, unsweetened coffee of the day today, and realised I’ve been completely overlooking the most obvious idea: coffee! 

You’ll need:

1/2 a cup fresh coffee, straight out of the coffee machine (like 2 calories)

1/2 a cup warm unsweetened vanilla almond milk (around 30 calories)

1 1/2 tablespoons caramel syrup (0 calories; I linked the one I used)

1/2 tablespoons agave syrup (30 calories, optional but recommended if you’re not a huge fan of coffee)

A little low cal whipped cream (very not mandatory cause it has over 100 calories. I’m not even including this in the total calories because this is mostly for the aesthetic. If you want to try your hand at making low cal whipped cream, click here)

a sprinkle of cinnamon (0 calories, optional)

How to:

Put the coffee in a mug. (buy my mugs on redbubble here)

If you have a milk frother, froth the milk now. You don’t have to do this; I just like the texture of the frothed milk.

Mix the caramel syrup and the agave syrup into the coffee. Stir well.

Mix the milk into the coffee.

**OPTIONAL** you can chill this in the fridge overnight for an iced latte.

If you want it to look ✨ 𝓪𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬 ✨ you can put some whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon to finish it off.

This is basically Starbucks quality and a LOT less calories*. (a Starbucks caramel latte is 130 calories)

Enjoy! xx, Jasper

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*if you don’t add the whipped cream

[doescum-havecalories]

Love how my mum calls me her “little pig” when I eat.

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Dentist: Your gums are bleeding.

Me, who hasn’t brushed my teeth properly in 4 months: Hm I wonder why

[doescum-havecalories]

My dash is dead.

I’m following, like, 50 people.

Half of them never post.

So please 

FOLLOW ME IF

you have an eating disorder (must)

you’re 13-20 years old (must, I’m uncomfortable otherwise)

you support/are lgbt (MUST MUST MUST IM REALLY GAY)

you support black lives matter (must)

You’re anti-tr*mp (must)

you’re overweight/obese

you’re between 5′3 and 5′7

you are in the Steven Universe fandom

you like musical theatre

you want a new friend :)

EDIT**: I will try to follow everyone back but no promises cause it’s hard to get to everyone, but if you message me I’ll definitely follow back.

[doescum-havecalories]

Finally, a check-in - 07.06.2020

Weight - 195.8

Height - 5′5″

Hrs of sleep - 15

Calories - 1280

Burned - 45

Feelings of self disgust - very fucking high

[doescum-havecalories]

Shredded Veg Miso Soup Recipe

You need:

1 tsp sesame oil

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1 clove garlic, chopped

1/2 large carrot, shredded

1/2 medium jalapeno pepper, finely chopped

1 tbsp brown miso paste

25g quinoa

350ml hot water

a small handful of kale

How to:

Cook the carrot, garlic, and jalapeno in the sesame oil for 10 minutes or until vegetables are soft. Add the ground ginger and cook for another minute. 

Slowly stir in the water. Once all the water has been added to your vegetables, add the miso paste and mix until fully dissolved.

Add the quinoa and bring the soup to a light boil for 10-15 minutes. Once the quinoa is fully cooked, add your kale and simmer until kale is soft.

Serve with a drizzle of siracha to taste, and enjoy! :)

Other info:

About 190 calories per serving; serves 1

Inspiration: https://www.olivemagazine.com/

[doescum-havecalories]

What do you mean I’ve been posting for only a month and I already have almost 100 followers?

[doescum-havecalories]

I really have to get back on my bullshit. I just weighed in at 194.8. (cries in fat)

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Of course all lives matter. (rant)

Yes. Yes Karen, we know. All lives matter. But guess the fuck what? POC lives, women’s lives, and LGBT lives have been treated as secondary for hundreds of years. People who fall under those categories are so much more likely to be murdered. Yeah, maybe I don’t know the exact numbers, but I’m writing this in an annoyed and pissed-off rush. I do know that black men are 2.5 times more likely to be killed by police. I do know that at least 20 transgender POC were killed last year in the United States. I do know that hundreds of LGBT people have been victims of hate crimes in the United States since 2010 (And those are only confirmed cases.). I do know that women have been fighting for rights since 1848. I do know so many things and you still dare to say, “Why do only black/female/lgbt lives matter?” THIS IS WHY. Yes, all lives matter, but we should focus on giving minorities basic human rights before we focus on bettering the lives of privelaged, rich, white, cishet men. 

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“I don’t know why I’m not losing any weight,” I say as i stuff my face with fries and chug a non-diet soda.

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Okay so regarding my last post: the next day I went out w some friends and we got stoned as shit and I ate a lot, so I guess I did both.

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Can’t decide whether I should eat or smoke right now

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The only reason I’m not dead yet is because I don’t wanna die fat.

[doescum-havecalories]

HIIT full body workout (no equipment)

Warm up: 20 sec toe touch, 20 sec jog in place, 20 lunges (10 left 10 right alternating), 15 jumping jacks

Round 1: 20 seconds of push ups, 10 sec rest, 1 min of sit ups, 15 sec rest, 1 min of bicycle crunches, 15 sec rest, 1 min run in place

2 min rest

Round 2: 30 seconds of push ups, 7 sec rest, 1.5 min of sit ups, 11 sec rest, 1.5 min of bicycle crunches, 11 sec rest, 1.5 min run in place

1 min rest

Round 3: 1 min of push ups, 5 sec rest, 5 min of sit ups, 5 sec rest, 5 min of bicycle crunches, 5 sec rest, 2 min run in place, 5 sec rest, 45 seconds of jumping jacks, 10 sec rest, 1 min of burpees

30 sec rest

Round 4: 1 min of push ups, 1 min of sit ups, 1 min of bicycle crunches, 1 min run in place, 1 min of jumping jacks, 1 min of burpees

15 sec rest

Round 5: 20 seconds of push ups, 10 sec rest, 1 min of sit ups, 15 sec rest, 1 min of bicycle crunches, 15 sec rest, 1 min run in place

1 min rest

Cool down: 1 min marching in place, 50 standing alternating toe touches, 50 leg lifts (25 left 25 right)

Stretch however you’d like

[doescum-havecalories]

I weighed in at 172.6 this morning :)

Then proceeded to eat 4 ice cream sandwiches :)

I love myself :)

[doescum-havecalories]

Fancy water! Because we all need to know how to put things in a bottle of water!

Here’s what I like in mine:

2 slices of lemon

5 raspberries

5 chopped mint leaves

Just uh

Put it in a water bottle then put some water in it.

It’s pretty damn easy.

0 cal

[doescum-havecalories]