divinerapturesys

[divinerapturesys]

Aspd and ocpd is a weird combo.

I don't care about societies or legal norms of morality and instead my own morality and values unrelated (mine is sliding scale of benefit weighed against a sliding scale of detriment with a heavy focus on long term)

...that I'm very adamant about, viewing it with high regard.

And viewing weak/looking down upon those that do not do good according to my morals of benefit vs detriment.

And constantly putting great work towards my goals and morals.

And never relaxing. But if progress is too repetitive, therefore boring, that means I have strong violent urges towards self and others.

[divinerapturesys]

Aspd and offended is so weird to me.

Someone says a slur to me about me in a positive or neutral manner? Cool.

Someone says a slur to me in an offensive way (as a slur) to try to offend? I view them as pathetic, weak, beneath me. Not offended though.

Someone tries to punish me? This will change nothing and it's a mild inconvenience.

Someone makes an offensive "joke"? I'm bored, it's not funny, get entertaining or get lost. Not offended.

But certain things people can accuse me of that are just blatantly not true? I am having extremely violent, twisted thoughts towards them, I want them to suffer.

And I find that fascinating

[divinerapturesys]

are there any specific terms to ASPD that are important to know? like narc crashes/high, bpd euphoria, depended person, favorite person, and so on?

The only one that I can think of at the moment in Exception. They are not unlike FPs in BPD necessarily, but they are kinda a similar concept with opposite presentation. Afaik, in BPD an FP is where you will see heightened/exacerbated symptoms. In ASPD, however, Exceptions are where, for the most part, we see the least symptoms on a typical day. We may have the desire to be around them, have some social instincts in reference to them, and even experience empathy and/or remorse when it comes to them. However, when we are in a flare, many times our Exceptions will be the main target of our stress/anxiety/fear of people and therefore may deal with the brunt of the flare. This can look like breakups, cheating, lying - sometimes just for the hell of it - picking or escalating fights, violence, etc. That’s because we are most vulnerable with our Exception/s (for those that have them), and we feel the risk of that when our symptoms are flaring. Further, our Exception/s will *notice* the flares more because whilst most people see us with fairly intense symptoms on average days, our Exception/s go from having a nearly typical relationship with us to seeing us as the rest of the world sees us and then some.

Aside from that, I can’t think of any terms specific to ASPD, but if there are more please leave them in replies/reblogs/tags/etc so I can see them too!

[divinerapturesys]

Hi! I just joined your server today. I was under the name of Raimundo. Some reason I don't see the group anymore and I try the link and it doesn't work. Is it possible I was kicked ?

Sorry, but the rules state no one under 16 and your intro said you were 15. I am more than happy to give you the link when you meet age requirements.

[divinerapturesys]

is it weird i feel like im “too goofy” to be someone that can have/may develop aspd traits/aspd? i feel like i laugh and smile too much to have any disorder actually, but specially aspd/aspd traits and i feel like im faking it

its probably rooted in stereotypes about people who have any disorders that are seen as scary and dangerous and evil, but i feel like this all the time and its enough to bother me

A disorder doesn’t mean you can’t be funny 👍🏻 it’s definitely rooted in stereotypes

I’m funny as hell according to our friend groups and most of my humor is dark as fuck. I also smile a lot; it’s instinctual regardless of the situation, and oftentimes the smiling is not at a good time, ie during arguments or depressing or deep moments. It’s an involuntary physical reaction that’s usually caused by some sort of underlying anxiety or nervousness, so my smiles are what I would call,, not genuine.

[divinerapturesys]

realizing that I use gifts (followed by acts of service) as my primary way of attempting to show love or affection or gratitude

I hate using words

they feel empty most of the time, even if I mean it; they come across as hollow and forced regardless of the authenticity

I know there should be feeling behind them, yet most of the time, there isn’t

These actions are proof I care, aren’t they? Something tangible and undeniable. Actions speak louder than words or whatever. I don’t know how to use my words kindly. I listen when people talk, I just lack the ability to feel any particular way about it.

Tell me about those stupid gundam things you like. I don’t know how to carry a conversation about things I’m not interested in. This next year, I’ll buy out your entire wishlist for gundams. I listen, I swear. I care about what you enjoy. I just can’t feel it. I don’t know what it feels like.

[divinerapturesys]

Even if you have aspd you’re still a person who deserves happiness.

thxx i mean i don't disagree but i also don't necessarily see it this way n ion get how anyone can actually find comfort in repeating these slogans

[divinerapturesys]

S/h + szpd/aspd culture is feeling nothing when you cvt and then realizing how fucking stupid you are for trying to use it as a way to experience feelings again.

.

[divinerapturesys]

It's entirely infuriating how people will claim to be accepting of your lack of compassion or empathy until you display that lack of compassion or empathy.

Kill yourself. Maybe I'll care then.

[divinerapturesys]

I don't like sadness cause it feels like a thing my whole body has a war with and it's tiring

[divinerapturesys]

The funny thing about me is that I don't remember. What? Anything. Do I have trauma? All the symptoms point to yes but I don't remember. Do I have a personality disorder? All the symptoms point to yes but I don't remember anything to help confirm it. No memory no memory no memory

[divinerapturesys]

“Having ASPD doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Okay, but having ASPD makes it so easy for me to screw over the people I love. Yes, you mean so much to me and I truly do want you to be happy, but I can rob you in your own home and feel nothing about it, and then I can lie to your face about it. Yes, I want to spent my life with you, but if you annoy me, I can slap you across the face, and to me, it doesn’t… feel as if that contradicts my love for you. It isn’t just selfishness because I would hurt myself for you, and I have, and yet I’m hurting you. Why doesn’t that feel contradictory?

It takes a lot of willpower to not be horrible when you are this way. It’s not just lacking guilt as an emotion, but about this weird gap in between affection as an emotion and… having the emotional drive to affectionate, or even decent. I’m not devoid of love. I’m devoid of… something quite different that I can’t quite put my finger on, and I don’t think “guilt” or “empathy” as it’s understood quite describe that.

Of course, I’m not sorry for being this way, but I almost wish I was.

[divinerapturesys]

mildly exaggerated but this happens sometimes and it's funni

lil memes are fun to draw, we might try to do more in the future because a lot of dumb stuff happens to us that makes us laugh LOL it'll make up for all the complaining we do on this blog /j

[divinerapturesys]

it's a vent so be warned

sry it is probably not making much sense, i might delete it later lol 💀

[divinerapturesys]

I need you guys to understand that “psychopath” means “person with ASPD of an assumed psychogenic/mostly psychogenic nature who scores high on the PCL-R” and “sociopath” means “person with ASPD of an assumed traumagenic/mostly traumagenic nature who scores high on the PCL-R”. Nothing more, nothing less… Certain personality factors may be more common in one instance of ASPD than another, but it is a myth that everyone with the disorder is either “calm, charismatic, and emotionless” or “impulsive, unstable, and violent”.

[divinerapturesys]

True DID culture is having to block 90% of system blogs you find, including ones you used to follow, because the blatant misinformation, encouragement of malingering and active promotion of delusional thinking makes you want to shove your head through a fucking wall and you lose all sense of tolerance and benefit of the doubt

[divinerapturesys]

I asked a friend who is a sociopath (diagnosed with ASPD, he refers to himself as a sociopath which is why I’m calling him that) what love feels like to him and how he knows when he loves someone.

I loved his answer. He said “Routine. If they are a part of my routine and feel familiar and comfortable and I would feel like something is missing if they weren’t there, then I think I love them.”

I have bpd with ASPD traits and I think his answer was so cute. I think that is what love is like for me too but I’ve never heard it so succinctly explained, perfect summarization.