dine-on-nervine

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when the coldcall ruse fails

phone: *ring* me: (at work so goes outside to answer it) Hello? dude: Hello, Mrs. Lastname? me: /Mrs./ Lastname?? dude: Oh hey, Mister Lastname. We spoke last September or October and you said you wanted some home improvements done, but I don't remember what. I just found the Post-It with your number on my desk, so what was it that you wanted me to do? me: I wanted you to go fuck yourself and lose my number because I haven't been a home owner in years. phone: *click*

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hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

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Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.

If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.

Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.

Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.

I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.

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Basically my thought when I hear some conservative person rattle on about the evils of other people: there's some projection of what they dream or want to do/see/be/feel, there's some "they're just jealous" as our moms said when others picked on us, and there's a ton of disbelief that they'd actually feel this ire If It Were Them Getting It.

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

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Read this whole thing in Dave Barry's voice, since this is pretty much his style of writing, minus the f-bombs. (Which he probably does in his head but not in family newspapers.)

Nowadays, insomnia is the real shit. Our ancestors used to flop into the sack after a long day of moving bags of mud around, but now we have all kinds of new anxieties to worry about. It's no surprise that our minds can't settle when we've spent the entire day being screamed at by modern everyday problems like "emails," "taxes," and "the abstract concept of the hypercube."

To bridge this gap, scientists have developed Sleepytime Tea. You've probably seen it before: on the shelves of the grocery store you'll notice a box of tea with a bear having a gentle little nap. He sits in an armchair. He enters the realm of torpor, where no work responsibility can reach him.

A great promise, but one that cannot be fulfilled. No simple human tea can knock out a full-sized brown bear. In the interest of truth in advertising, we present to you: Extreme Sleepy-Time Tea. Rest assured: your ass will be visiting Little Nemo before you get to the bottom of the mug.

How do we do it? Pharmaceutical-industry cowards continue to argue (unsuccessfully) that we have laced them with a powerful medical-grade soporific that is just a little bit on this side of insanely addictive. We say: that's a lot of big fucking words, nerd. Maybe you should be buying our tea to quiet those huge brains of yours down. Here's one on the house.

So when you're at the store next time, think: do I really want to be conscious for whatever is going on around here? Then reach for the box that has a bear absolutely blasted out of his fucking gourd, drooling on himself in a manner akin to lobotomy. Extreme Sleepy-Time Tea. It's a fast-forward button for life.

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The photographer of the James Taylor 'Fire and Rain' picture (me) has seen this post and approves, though giving credit to the source is always appreciated.

“Mostrare le proprie debolezze è un lusso"   www.malikahajer.tumblr.com

Pensiero debole

La contrapposizione frontale non rende mai all'amore e alla comunione di due anime tanto quanto mostrare la propria normale, bellissima fragilità. Una donna delicata nei modi e nei toni suscita per naturale reazione un forte desiderio di protezione e possesso da parte dell'uomo.

Mostrati a me nuda nel corpo: ti salterò addosso. Perché sei bellissima e non ti resisto. Davanti ai miei occhi spogliati piano e svelami le tue debolezze: mi avrai legato a te per la vita.

La tua anima nuda è uno spettacolo di verità e purezza di sentimento di fronte al quale mi inginocchio rapito. Con la mente libera da pregiudizi e coperture formali, le voci sussurrano. Complici. E trovano sempre la via per uscire fuori da contrasti e problemi. Nel modo più antico.  

Pur di cedere all'amore e ai sensi, ci si sorride e si dà il vero valore alle cose. Ci si rende conto che di fronte a un legame forte, tutto perde significato. O per lo meno passa in secondo piano. Amami: io ti amerò di più. Negami un tuo sorriso: mi avrai conficcato una lancia nel costato.

Oh, I’ve seen fire And I’ve seen rain

Oh, ho visto il fuoco E ho visto la pioggia

I’ve seen sunny days That I thought would never end

Ho visto giorni assolati Che pensavo non sarebbero mai finiti

I’ve seen lonely times When I could not find a friend

Ho vissuto periodi di solitudine In cui non riuscivo a trovare un amico

But I always thought That I’d see you, baby. One more time again

Ma ho sempre pensato Che ti avrei rivista ancora una volta, bambina.

Ridi con me. Gioca con me. Scegli me. Ama me. Ogni giorno.

Scelgo solo te. Cerco solo te. Rido solo con te.

Gioco solo con te. Amo solo te

Ogni giorno, ogni ora, ogni secondo. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbD7lfrsY2s

RDA

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Have you ever been so transphobic you curved back in on it and now you’re accidentally trans rights?

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villager 1: (bopping to headphones) You can't stop the music. villager 2: (in uniform) In the Navy, you can sail the seven seas. villager 3: (in workout gear) It's fun to stay at the YMCA. villager4: (in leather on cycle) Macho, macho man...

tumblr is the little town I visit everyday and you guys are my fellow village people

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Wise man say: Never take credit for fixing the thing that YOU broke and then expect to be called a hero.

Already seeing people on tiktok saying “I still hate trump but he ate with this one” like … babes … you just got propagandized … that’s literally exactly what he created this situation in the hopes you would say …

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You cannot kill me in a way that matters.

no but for real no weapon formed against me shall prosper, LOL!

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dere you go

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@elizabethplaid - Item referenced in a snailmail letter.

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That's no computer store, that's a RadioShack. All those machines are TRaSh-80s.

Front window of a computer store in West Germany, 1984

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Maychance... orange cat stimboard? Thank you :3

!!Orange Cat Stimboard!!

1--2--3--4--5--6--7--8--9

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the conversation which happened inside your head

her: ...and then tonight we can go see Red One. me: (blank look) her: You remember us seeing the trailer during Deadpool, right? me: I remember seeing the trailer. me: I don't remember you saying you wanted to see it. me: I don't remember me saying I wanted to see it. me: I don't recall ever discussing going to see it after you got off work. her: (realizing the conversations in question about seeing the movie had never happened in real life)

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All the good boys... and the nice kitties.

Bítov Castle in Southern Moravia in the Czech Republic

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i love you im glad you exist im so happy you’re alive