diaryofahumanbeing

[diaryofahumanbeing]

When I met my first love.

When I first encountered Psychology, it seemed like a weird and odd subject. Whenever I went to a subject I liked like Biology or Music, there was Psychology nearby, whenever I met a new subject like Artificial Intelligence or Mathematics, there was Psychology. Eventually I started to learn more about Psychology and I was surprised. There was alot Psychology and I had in common, from the history of human development across generations to how humans react and learn about the world. Psychology introduced me to other subjects like Anthropology, Ethnomusicology, Statistics, Forensics and some of its family members like Cyberpsychology, Forensic Psychology, Developmental Psychology and Evolutionary Psychology. Psychology had a finger in almost every subject and we had alot in common. I was surprised I would ever like a subject this much since I usually filled my time with certain subjects that acted more Black or White, right or wrong or set clear standards, but Psychology saw the grey in subjects, the spectrum of possibilities and didn't have a properly defined limit. Psychology even helped me talk and like humans, even though I am quite misanthropic and introverted. Then one day I travelled to the UK and I thought that was the end between me and Psychology. I got settled, explored the area and reconnected with family members. On occasion, I'd miss Psychology and our days in high school. After a year though, I bumped into Psychology in college and we reconnected. We spoke again and I had a renewed strength I didn't know I had. I think that's when I realised, I fell in love with Psychology. I loved their interests, I love how it was curious about the world, I love how it always tries learn new things, I even fell in love with its mistakes and history, always trying to be better. Psychology had stolen and kept my heart safe, so I began to pursue Psychology. I first began to pursue Psychology in college while I had taken the basic equivalent education for this new contry, then I began pursuing Psychology to University, after a year of working in Starbucks I finally pursued Psychology in university until I got my degree. In university though, Psychology introduced me to wonderful people and opportunities, the one person Psychology introduced me to was one of the few people I had ever crushed on, so far I had only fallen in love with subjects, this was the first person in a while I had fallen for, and although we used the same pronouns, we shared a student flat, we spend loads of time together and I even held their hand, it wasn't meant to be. Psychology told me it was okay to pursue more than one love if it was honest and true, after all Psychology also taught me about healthy boundaries, healthy relationships and polyamory, but I was not ready. I then I heard a devastating news, even though me and my crush were compatible, they told me they were heteroromantic. I was devastated, but I couldn't be angry at them, they didn't do anything wrong. They were just being their amazing and wonderful self and I fell hard, they had nothing to be guilty or sad for. I had to be a good friend to them, we kept talking and being good friends, we hung out, we vented to each other, we had some fun and Psychology was there to comfort me in my loneliness. Even though I was furious, and jealous and annoyed and frustrated, I was happy I met this person, and I don't regret Psychology introducing me to them. After a while, I got my degree, the results weren't as high as I liked but Psychology reminded me that I could still do a masters and that we could still be together and help people. Psychology now is introducing me to Counselling and the three of us are planning on helping people as much as we can, they will also help me through with getting my masters in the future but right now I want to get acquainted with Counselling, help people, save some money and maybe live a little more. I may have not found my happy ending but Psychology reminded me that it isn't the end and I can't wait to see what adventures we get into.

[diaryofahumanbeing]

“People are strange. They are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice.”

— Charles Bukowski

[diaryofahumanbeing]

Cognitive conceptualization of borderline personality disorder

Hal Straus and Jerold Jay Kreisman, Sometimes I Act Crazy

[diaryofahumanbeing]

Ideas for a notebook.

So I have the habit of collecting blank notebooks, usually ones that I like the look off. Sadly I don't have much use for them and I have a few blank ones, so I thought of making a list of uses for them.

Personal Diary: A good way to get your feelings out and you can always have more volumes when you finish them.

Todo list: This can be a day-to-day to-do list or a bucket list, but one where you can write down everything you want/need to do and can even organise on priority, date, etc.

Financial ledger: This is a notebook designed to keep track of your money. You can write down income, then expenses (daily, weekly or even monthly), saving goals, upcoming bills, etc. You can even make lists surrounding the specific subject.

Planner: For those weeks where everything is supposed to happen all at once or for those who have a bad memory, this style can be very helpful. Putting a date, and then listing the events or tasks for that day organised by time is a simple system that can be modified and improved as needed.

Sketch pad: This is a rather useful notebook for those who are practising their drawing, sketching or designing skills on a 2D surface. Most would prefer a completely blank notebook, but some people don't seem to mind ruled or lined pages.

Routines: This is one of my favourites since it lets me have a sense of control and familiarity in my daily routine. Here, you make a list of things you need, get & do when you're in a specific situation. For example, if I feel sad, I have a routine listing snacks, a list of movies and even music to listen to in that scenario.

[diaryofahumanbeing]

Halloween Wallpapers 🧡🎃🍂🍁🖤

[diaryofahumanbeing]

Some Halloween wallpapers!! You can download them, but please tell me that you are!!

[diaryofahumanbeing]

Vintage mixology chart.

[diaryofahumanbeing]

#1 Entry - Relationships & Emotions.

One of the main objectives of a human being is to achieve happiness and since I could remember, romantic relationships have been portrayed as a great source of happiness. Portrayals in the media, literature, plays and other recorded information regarding obtaining happiness supports these ideals. Based on the descriptions of individuals who have had waves of euphoria, a sense of fulfilment and empowerment, but above all, a sense of completion.

The idea of being over joyed as I find the one who I would go out of my way to spend time with, even altering long term life plans to ensure I would be able to spend most of my life with them. To think that someone could have the power to make simple acts like waking up, cooking, cleaning and even arriving from a day out could be experienced as magical, unique and even ethereal. I would like to experience that, I think it would be nice. 

I also heard the aspect of emotional intimacy, the ability to express your darkest, deepest and secretive thoughts and emotions to an individual sounds relaxing. The ability to have a conversation on subjects that I do not feel comfortable enough to express would allow a lot of stress to be relieved. Especially when it comes to external third party input on subjects that I don’t feel safe in most circumstances, subjects like insecurities, social etiquettes, morals, philosophies, values, beliefs and other important aspects of one’s sense of self. It would be nice to be able to change these aspects, moulding them in other experimental shapes to see if there is a better way.

Another aspect of romantic relationships is trust. The capacity to have heavy belief in external forces and agents to the point doubt can be beaten and subdued. The idea that someone could be so strong and influential enough to defeat such a beast, a demon that has ruined so many lives. I guess having someone to be able to subdue that emotion, when I cannot, would be reassuring  

The emphatic expression of love from those who claim to have found it can be an empowering and inspiring message for those of us who may be looking for it. Although, I believe the idea of actively searching for love could be counter intuitive for its achievement.

As time moved one, I soon realised that those components and services could be found in other relationships. In fact, it may be better since advice derived from different sources mean that the information can be more varied and more factors can be considered when searching through possibilities. Another benefit would be that these relationships do not have the weaknesses that a romantic relationship would have, like the ability to have time apart while living together, the ability to process one’s emotions while not being distracted by the source of anxiety, fear, anger or sadness can help the process of self-reflection.

I know happiness is not linked to romantic relationships, but that does not mean I do not want it. I feel like I am a flower in a dessert, dying, maybe some companionship would be nice.