defeatedsoulofficial

[defeatedsoulofficial]

Sometimes we can't explain what we see in a person. It's just the way the person makes you feel and no one else can.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

[defeatedsoulofficial]

When I first met you,

You were just another face to me.

But now you are the only face

I could ever found in a crowded place.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

I want to live for myself, but that myself is also 'You'.

I want to live for you, but that 'You' is also mine.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

'YOU', is not meant to be you alone, one day it will be

YOU + ME = WE.🎎

But forever ✨

...Unknown

[defeatedsoulofficial]

You have to listen first to 'Your' mind, after that you can implement that and match with what others wants to make you listen.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

[defeatedsoulofficial]

[defeatedsoulofficial]

Talking to the favourite person or the person you love for 1 hour feels like 1 minute and when waiting for the reply, 1 minute feels like 1 hour.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

I might be psycho because for me lyrics are more important than the song.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

"no matter how impenetrable you are, your indestructibility won't stand upon in anterior of your family issues"

- vishal vishwas

[defeatedsoulofficial]

Sometimes is not forever

sometimes we miss someone.

sometimes we miss the past.

sometimes we miss the moment

sometimes we feel regret about the past.

sometimes we feel happy about the past.

sometimes it's a lesson.

sometimes it's an experience.

sometimes we hope to be better.

sometimes we accept and move on.

sometimes we think it's all good.

sometimes we think it's all bad.

sometimes we thank God to give us the right lesson.

sometimes we hate God to give us a bad experience.

sometimes we cry.

sometimes we smile.

sometimes everything is fine.

sometimes everything is bad.

sometimes we become bad

sometimes we become good.

sometimes is sometimes not forever.

it's a part of life, just walk with a smile, have faith in God and everything will be fine. - vishal vishwas

[defeatedsoulofficial]

Your presence means a lot to me❤ your absence also means a lot to me ❤

even your smile means a lot to me❤

all those beautiful moments we spent together means a lot to me❤

Laughing with you means a lot to me❤

Making you smile means a lot to me❤

Making you happy means a lot to me❤

Loving you means a lot to me❤

You means a lot to me❤

Your heart means a lot to me❤

Your eyes means a lot to me❤

Your cute face means a lot to me❤

Your nakhre means a lot to me❤

Mujhe pareshan karna means a lot to me❤

Mujhe datna means a lot to me❤

Mujhpe gussa krna means a lot to me❤

Mere se ladna means a lot to me❤

Hearing your voice means a lot to me❤

Watching you means a lot to me❤

Holding your hands means a lot to me❤

Hugging you means a lot to me❤

Kissing you means a lot to me❤

Teasing you means a lot to ❤

Taking care of you means a lot to me❤

Treating you like a baby means a lot to me❤

Your soul means a lot to me❤

Simran itself means a lot to me ❤

Your mumma papa sister brother means a lot to me❤

❤❤❤❤❤😘

[defeatedsoulofficial]

14 December, 2021

Woke up early after such a long time and then visited our relatives with my mother. After that, I went to see my girl because my friend want to complete his assignment on time so he distributed that to my girl. Then we all went for a drive. Today only my friend wants to eat chaap but we have no money so he asked his friends and I asked my girl but none of them have it and I was happy because I don't want to eat chaap. After coming back home I saw my girl's mother didn't reply to my message of wishing her a happy birthday. But after that, I found out that I was blocked by her girl at that time after knowing that I got so much anger and mood is still off and mad at her too much. I was feeling very bad that I wasn't able to wish her a happy birthday. I still feel regretful and sad. Now I wish her is not now no more from the heart now I just fulfil the formality. I thought her mother would love by me seeing the way I wished her. But things didn't go according to the plan because of one issue and I'm not mad at her. But now I'm in a state of crying and feeling bad so much I can't even tell. Because these days come once in a year. I want to wish her on my own because she is also like a mother to me. However, I felt so much bad and angry I didn't eat the food at all. But then after I got unblocked and talking to her it made me feel at home and comfortable and my anger level has also come to the lowest point after talking to her. Now I'm having a little bit of cold and I'm sneezing repeatedly. Also, I yelled at my girl and I feel so bad I can't even tell. That's all because of me. But best friend won't fight then who will. Only she has the right to get mad at me, no other girl has that right. Yes, we fight a lot because that's what we are meant to be. We fight with our own.

That's all for today see you tomorrow

[defeatedsoulofficial]

13 December,2021

Night of headache but sleep was good than other days. After waking up I have done oiling to my hair and then wash it up as I have to go and pick up my best friend from her college.

I reached on time to pick her up and after watching her in saree, I was like oh my God is that my bestie. She was looking so beautiful I can't even describe. I was getting a feeling of watching a miss universe in front of my eyes. If I was earning at that time then I would directly take her to my home and marry her at that very moment. My heart got melted while looking at her in that outfit. I don't know but I was nervous too that time sitting next to her was like sitting next to miss universe. After that, we went for a photoshoot in my car moreover, I was going to express my love once again because the situation is different very and I was nervous too much. Then I take a deep breath and said the voice of my heart. Yes, she is my best friend but my dream is to marry her. I am not keeping any expectations though, just a little bit of hope and patience. That's what getting me through my journey and if not my wife then I will be happy to be her best friend for the rest of my life. Let's see what God wanted our destiny to be but I won't stop keeping hope. Because when she is with me I smile my heart smiles

That's the reason

Then we went to eat out. As soon I drop her home my maternal called me to get his car from a place to park it back to home and the car was coming from Chennai by his clients. Further, then I went to my friend's house to chill outside.

That's all for today see you tomorrow

[defeatedsoulofficial]

12 December, 2021

Today had been a fearful night on which I felt suspicious and found out paranormal activities around myself after that sound of running kids on the roof and hitting the ceiling with a hammer. Also, I can hear the sound of three wall watches which I had in my house in respective rooms and after that accordingly, I called my only Best friend so that she can be along with myself being alone no one to talk is a feeling of talking to the ghost and my body at several points starts getting unconscious for a bit and left hands of myself to turn to be out paralyzed, it might due to overthinking or can be real too as well. And I called my best friend once again but then she did not pick up the call because she was sleeping and was tired of having such a busy day for her. I did not sleep the whole night because of fear and waiting for my parents to reach home as they were outside and was the only one alone at home till then, after that I went to bed in the morning when everyone back home but I was still being tired because of inadequate sleep.

In the afternoon I had to call up my friends to discuss the vacation we were planning. Don't know what's going to happen and the only thing I can do is wait and watch.

In the evening I would be applying for the internship at Bank Of America with the help of my best friend and she too will be applying with me, as we both grow together.

after that I watched the movie name Shakuntala Devi the great mathematician. And then she asks me about the dress, which one she should be wearing. But it had been set it up a surprise for me tomorrow and I am willingly waiting for that.

Today I'm having a headache due to inadequate sleep.

see you tomorrow.

[defeatedsoulofficial]

11 December, 2021

I had a heavy night to sleep on with fear and fright in my mind of losing someone or losing my favorite person. The phone got switched off, so then I was watching the ceiling the whole night, trying hard to sleep, but the thoughts and fear kept on disturbing me that night, as it was a very rough night for me. That's not the first time I've faced all this. Every time I have a fear of losing someone close to me or attached to me or my favorite person, the fear disturbs me for some time, or until I get 100% assured or that phase passes out. Then, at 5 am, I slept, but it was very inadequate. So a bad dream came through, which made me wake up again with heavy breathing. After that, I went to bed and woke up at 10:30 in the morning with heavy heart pain. It might be due to high cholesterol levels or heavy stress. Once, I had a fear of losing my girlfriend, or the love of my life. That phase was very difficult, but now the fear of losing my best friend is way more intense than the fear of losing my girlfriend. I have never felt this much stress and fear in my whole life just because of the fear of losing my best friend.

Then I and my friends had a conference call for the vacation, and still, it is pending confirmation from the parents about the destination. 

After that I went to my childhood friend in Kavi Nagar, we usually talk about life and discuss various problems.