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"average rosharan goes throug 3 traumatic events a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average rosharan goes through 0 traumatic events per year. Shallan Davar, who orphaned herself at 16 & goes through over 10,000 traumatic events each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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yOu HaVe tO rEaD tHe cOsMeRe BoOkS iN tHe RiGhT oRdEr Or YoU wOn'T kNoW wHaT's GoiNg On!

Gancho, Doug, my brother in Adonalsium (Highly), I'm going to hold your hand when I say this:

Not knowing what's going on is the default state for Cosmere protagonists.

Even Wit, who's whole deal is standing over there in the corner smirking like he knows what's going on, doesn't have a single rusting clue.

Read the whole Stormlight Archive backwards for all I care, you'll still find yourself better informed than Kaladin Stormface

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hate to break it to youguys but the only acceptable actor playing rock would be well The Rock

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please note the map here as the regions considered the south here are the places labled: deep south, upper south (missouri and illinois you’re basically the midwest but i’m letting it slide. parts of oklahoma can stay bc they have good bbq), mid atlantic south, lower appalachia (im sorry but not you ohio, i have to draw a line somewhere), gulf coast, acadiana, texas (actually just all of texas), and low country. the ozarks and other appalachian regions are in a weird gray area , florida is just florida and some of these areas are basically the north to me but im going for linguistic patterns and don’t feel like hashing out cultural regions that much)

tbh this poll is currently focused on region and to honestly get the most accurate results i’d need to do several follow-ups breaking down things like ethnicity, gender, class, age, etc. (for example AAVE/AAE and dialects influenced by it are more likely to say yall regardless of region as it can be considered a dialect, ethnolect, or sociolect so is not as regionally determined) but let’s see how this goes first. the research designer in me is suffering bc of how broad this is but i honestly doubt yall would wanna fill out a google form for an internet stranger with no IRB and is really only doing this out of curiosity.

as someone from the “deep south,” even when i mask my accent i still can’t imagine not using y’all regularly. i feel like the word has become more prevalent as it kinda fills a linguistic gap but i want some yummy yummy data. if i missed something or you would like to elaborate on your specific region pls feel free to explain

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You’d think one of these times I would learn, but nooooo, every time I start a new series and read the first book I think “wow, I should look up the first book on tumblr/tiktok to see what the fandom is like!” And every single solitary time I get spoiled immediately. And honestly at this point it’s on me, I won’t know the fandoms that are really good about tagging their spoilers I’ve either read the whole thing or have been burned. But like one of these times I have to learn to not press search until after I finish the whole thing

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Everyone: Have you watched K-pop demon hunters? The soundtrack is amazing! The visuals, incredible! Jinu and Rumi are adorable!

Me: Kitty kitty, cat cat, adorable blue floof 💙

His name canonically being Derpy only makes it that much better 🤣

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YOU don't wanna live in Roshar. Not because of the fragile state most of the Kingdoms are. Or the very aggressive fauna. The weird flora. The extreme climate. The storms the size of mountains nor the constant wars between gods. The real issue is those dam spren telling the world how you really feel. Those fuckers call you out each time.

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Crashing out about the cosmere is apparently my dominant personality trait but here we are. Because what do you mean I only have one more Stormlight book to read??? I read this one book and then it’s like over for ten years or whatever??? And to be fair I still need to finish Mistborn Era 2, but I ALSO only have one more book to read there! And then that one is REALLY OVER, like no ten year wait, I just don’t get stories centered around those characters anymore. And yes I have a couple of secret projects left to read and those aren’t leaving me in crisis like the others, but like I just have a little bit more and then all I have left is rereads, and idk this is such a small and silly thing to be so stuck on but it’s genuinely made me stall reading The Lost Metal for so long because I know what that means and what I will then have to read next and it’s just bittersweet.

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Me currently like 30% through This Inevitable Ruin.

I am going to find Matt Dinniman (author of the dungeon crawler Carl book series) and I'm going to drown him in a pool of the tears i shed reading said book series. Dinniman, I hate you. In conclusion 10/10 would reccomend

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readers don’t know this but during the highstorm scene in The Way of Kings the Stormfather told Kaladin to feel the rain on his skin, no one else can feel it for him

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Finally started Words of Radiance (yay!) and not Jasnah arranging a marriage to fix all of Shallan and her family’s problems with Roshar’s most eligible bachelors Adolin Kholin???? Why is she literally living every wattpad girl’s dream of “my mom sold me to one direction and now every member of the team is in love with me” like i love that for her actually

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I fear this is a canon event honestly

welp. im fucked.

im only on chapter 12 and kelsier just said "good girl" and i am going insane. absolutely feral. what the fuck.

this man.

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So I’m in the middle of Rhythm of War, and I just got to Part 3

Umm hey Brandon bestie, why are we just abandoning Shallan and Adolin in Shadesmar for at least one full part??? Why are they not in this part. I’m not okay with this. I wasn’t okay in Book 1 when we had a whole part without Shallan. I haven’t even loved not getting a Dalinar perspective yet in this book. I need to know what’s going on with my darlings!!

Anyway all this to say I’m about halfway through and can’t put this book down because I’m just stressed out and scared for literally everybody (which is to say I’m going through what I go through with every single one of these books omg)

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Link to original

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Pros and Cons of Hiring These Cosmere Characters to be Your Dog-Walker

Looking for a new dog-walker? Well, you could hire these Cosmere characters, but please make sure you carefully weigh the pros & cons first!

1. Kaladin

Pros: This man can handle SO MANY dogs at once! You were worried about adding your husky to the mix, since Huskateer isn't the most well-behaved dog...but this man seemed so confident that you let your husky join his group of dogs. And you know what? Huskateer has been so much more disciplined since he started following this Kaladin guy...

Cons: You know, in your deepest heart, that Huskateer respects and loves Kaladin more than you now.

2. Sebarial

Cons: Sebarial makes it clear that if you hire him to be your dog-walker, he will NOT walk your dog.

Pros: However, he does have a team of professional & highly trained dog-walkers who do the dog-walking for him, and honestly, they're the best around. Reasonable prices, too.

3. Ranette

Pros: She said she'd walk Stinky for free if she could use him to test out some dog-friendly products. Free service and supporting a woman in business?? Hell yeah!

Cons: It's weapons. It's all weapons. You don't WANT Stinky to have a rifle that even a dog can fire! What the hell, lady?

4. Vin

Cons: The first thing she said was, "Don't worry. I would never let someone else's dog get killed OR eaten" which was...perhaps not as comforting as she intended it to be.

Pros: She actually seems to be pretty good with dogs and when you pointed this out she said, "Yeah. It's because I had a dog assistant for a while" so at least she has a sense of humor?

5. Dedelin

Pros: He volunteered his eldest daughter for the job and spent a lot of time talking about how caring and professional and responsible she was. It all sounded great!

Cons: And then...he sent his other daughter? Like, it'll probably still be fine but that's weird, right?

6. Ulaam

Cons: When he saw how many dogs you had (five), all he said was, "Two arms isn't enough" and left. Which, I mean, it's fair if he doesn't feel comfortable walking a lot of dogs, but it felt a little bit rude.

Pros: Well...he came back. And he has five arms now. And you WOULD be freaked out if it wasn't so darn effective.

7. Adolin

Pros: The INSTANT he saw Mr. Waffles, Adolin complimented his excellent sweater. You knew that dog sweater would be a hit.

Cons: You saw Adolin showing Mr. Waffles some sort of dog fashion magazine and, uh, those outfits looked EXPENSIVE. Y-You're not made of money! Even if Mr. Waffles sure would look dapper in that suit...

8. Leshwi

Cons: Her first question was, "Does your dog like heights?" and you, trying to stay calm, were like, "How...is that relevant...for a dog walk?" And she was like, "So...only walking on the ground?" Anyway you didn't hire her.

Pros: You now know that you like it when tall women look at you with disdain, and self-discovery is always good, you know?

9. TenSoon

Pros: Who better to walk your dog than a big talking dog, am I right? Ha ha!

Cons: Shattered. Your worldview. It's shattered. Forever.

10. Dalinar

Cons: He was just a little, uh, too serious? "Every journey is important." "I am prepared to help your dog take his next step." "Even kings must walk their dogs." Like...Cheesecake just needs to pee during the day? It's not that deep?

Pros: Actually...Cheesecake has seemed wiser lately. You know that sounds crazy, but...

11. Allomancer Jak

Pros: Daffodil is always happy and sleepy when she gets home! You can tell she's getting great exercise with Allomancer Jak!

Cons: Y-Your dog didn't REALLY help stop a runaway train full of robbers, did she? Your pretty sure that those newspaper serials are embellished, but you are a bit worried about what exactly your Daffodil is doing on those walks...

12. Hoid

Cons: The first thing this guy said when he saw Duke Fluffington III was "Well, some dogs want to be a dragon, but your dog clearly wants to be a slug!" which was rude because Duke Fluffington III is only a LITTLE lazy!

Pros: He did a good job, actually....at least until he disappeared suddenly one day without warning. And he used to compliment Duke Fluffington III a lot, which was nice, saying how he was so nicely "fluffy" and not at all "crablike" or "slimy."

Wait, are these even pros?? That guy was just weird!

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The funniest love triangle in fiction happened in The Well of Ascension, the second Mistborn book, where Zane was like "[insert evil laugh here] I'm gonna torture my half-brother by making his girlfriend fall in love with me and force her to choose between us". Meanwhile Vin is just living her life and dealing with plot stuff and never gives any indication of harboring the barest romantic or even platonic feeling towards Zane, and when he finally makes his offer she's like "what the fuck dude of course I'm not picking you". The third point of the non-existent triangle, Elend, remains blissfully unaware of any of these events (including that he has a half-brother) because he's too busy dealing with other plot stuff. Anyway, kudos to Zane for inventing clowns in Scadrial