danger-intrigue-a-damsel

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

tim: sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.

tony: no it’s my fault, i shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

116 - you're up early... hello?

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

642 - you know, at bedtime or whatever.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

tim: i told tony his ears flush when he lies.

ziva: why?

tim: look.

tim: hey tony! do you love us?

tony, covering his ears: no.

ziva:

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

tony: whaddya call a fish with no eye?

tim, not looking up: myxine circifrons

tony:

tony: fsh.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

2x05

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

tim: i told tony his ears flush when he lies.

ziva: why?

tim: look.

tim: hey tony! do you love us?

tony, covering his ears: no.

ziva:

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tony: tim and I don’t use pet names.

ziva: i see. hey, what do bees make?

tony: honey?

tim: yes, dear?

tony:

ziva: don't ever lie to my face again.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

*everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

gibbs: so. who broke it? i'm not mad, i just wanna know.

everyone:

tim: ...i did. i broke it.

gibbs: no. no you didn't. tony?

tony: don't look at me. look at ziva.

ziva: what?! i didn't break it.

tony: huh, that's weird. how'd you even know it was broken?

ziva: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

tony: suspicious.

ziva: no, it's not!

jimmy: if it matters, probably not, but abby was the last one to use it.

abby: liar! i don't even drink that crap!

jimmy: oh really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

abby: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. everyone knows that, jimmy!

tim: okay let's not fight. i broke it. let me pay for it, gibbs.

gibbs: no! who broke it!?

everyone:

jimmy: gibbs... tony's been awfully quiet.

tony: really?!

*everyone starts arguing*

gibbs, being interviewed: i broke it. i burned my hand so I punched it.

gibbs: i predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

gibbs:

gibbs: good. it was getting a little chummy around here.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

whos gonna break it to one anthony dinozzo that creating a whole fake persona just to flirt with a male coworker online is not a very heterosexual thing to do.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

McGee: I proudly identify as morosexual

DiNozzo: Elf Lord, what color is the pink panther?

McGee, taking off his shirt: Tony, you are so fucking stupid

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

McGee: Look at how cute these pens are

Tony: Tim, that’s gay.

McGee: Tony, we’ve been dating-

@flootzavut what happens when I watch vine compilations in a depression fit.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

Nick: And Bishop, you could be my wife.

Ellie: Why would you take your wife with you to meet a drug dealer?

Nick: 'Cause we're partners in everything we do.

Jimmy: Aw.

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

Kibbs reading spicy emails, for @unreliablenarratorink and @agentkalgibbs xx

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

[danger-intrigue-a-damsel]

- faraway