daemontypal

[daemontypal]

“the intrusive thoughts won” “that’s psychotic” “i’m so delusional haha” “narcissistic abuse” “the weather is so bipolar” SHUT UP!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

[daemontypal]

Could you explain what ASPD is like?

So this got super long as since it’s not the subject of the blog, I’ve stuck it under a Read More. It’s all anecdotal from start to end, so if you want a clinical definition you can check out the DSM criteria to get a basic overview. There’s also some swearing ahead, so be aware of that.

I’ll say here that I was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder at 12 and displayed antisocial behaviour since around age 8, and at 17 was given the full-fledged ASPD diagnosis (it was the school system’s psych department that was in charge of this and I wasn’t going to be 18 before I graduated (in fact I never did graduate)). At the time of this post I’m 21 and my current therapist has agreed with the diagnosis.

Keep reading

[daemontypal]

Oof I haven't posted here in ages, I need to start posting here again.

[daemontypal]

THIS ^

With any mental disorder, do your research and try to correct misinfo you read/see. Actually try to communicate to people that have said ones to understand what it is like rather than trying to assume everyone with said disorder or condition is like that based on little research done. Don't go off of generalizations about disorders or mental conditions based on what you see in popular culture and media. This especially goes for disorders such as DID, Psychopathy, Sociopathy, Narcassistic Personality Disorder, Psychosis, and many others. Just. Do. Your. Research.

[daemontypal]

spread this shit the fuck around

spread this shit the fuck around

spread this shit the fuck around

[daemontypal]

🖤 ~ About Me ~ 🖤

✖ Introduction ✖

Hey there! My name is Korvella Starlight, but you can also call me Kody or Korv. I'm in my 20's and I use he/him and they/them pronouns interchangeably (I'm a non-binary trans guy).

This blog is centred around neurodiversity and mental illness, as well as my personal mental health struggles. I'm not extremely active here, but I do try to post as much as I can. I usually just make and post memes, as well as reblog stuff and make the occasional vent post lol. I originally made this blog to raise awareness of and de-stigmatise mental illness; specifically Cluster-B Personality Disorders.

I'm officially diagnosed with ASD-2 and ADHD-PI as well as Major Depressive Disorder, and am still in the process of getting diagnosed with some other stuff. I'm also self-diagnosed with a Personality Disorder (Schizotypal, Borderline, and Antisocial) as well as AN-BP and a Substance Use Disorder.

It's okay if you don't agree with self-diagnosis, but please don't criticise me for it. I am not doing this just for the hell of it, I'm doing it in order to put a word to what I'm struggling with, so I know how to cope with it. If I could get official diagnoses for all of my issues right away, I would. But I'm going through the public healthcare system, so it takes a lot longer.

Given my mental health issues, my ability to function and stick to a schedule is severely impaired. I may not always be active here and I may take long breaks in between posts. It would mean a lot to me if you could be patient and mindful of this. Xx

✖ Do Not Interact ✖

✧ Exclusionists of any kind. ✧ T3RFS/ SW3RFS/ M1S0GYNY/ S3X1SM/ TR4NSM3DS. ✧ Anything anti-LGBTQIA+. I'm a non-binary trans guy and also identify as genderqueer. I'm also demi-grey-pansexual. If that bothers you, block me and move on with your life. I won't tolerate any bigotry or hate directed towards me or my community. ✧ Racists, antisemites, islamophobes, N4Z1S and N30-N4Z1S, xenophobes, anti-BLM, anti-ACAB, white supremacists, etc. ✧ M4PS/ P3D0PH1L3S/ Z00PH1L3S/ B3ST14L1TY. ✧ R1ght-W1ngers, C0nservat1ves, etc. ✧ Ableism of any kind. This includes ableism towards mental illness and neurodiversity. Any "narcissistic abuse" shit as well as using the words sociopath/psychopath/narcissist in a vilifying or insulting manner will NOT be tolerated. ✧ "Empaths". People who claim to be "empaths" but then shit on and completely demonise people who struggle with empathy and/or a personality disorder are NOT welcome here.

Hope you like what I post here! Make sure to drink enough water, take your meds on time, and be kind to yourself. Xx

+ . . . Divider Credit . . . +

[daemontypal]

Literally. A lot of this resonated with my BPD as well as my AsPD. Yeah it's great that us BPD folks are supported to a large extent, but what about our NPD, HPD, and AsPD siblings dude?? They're literally in the same Cluster as BPD and SO MANY of the traits overlap; Yet anyone besides BPD in that cluster are disregarded as toxic and abusive. But god forbid people, like... educate themselves...?

It really sucks. Like you said; So close and yet so far.

These are LITERALLY some- if not most- of the symptoms of NPD too, but i swear if BPD was changed to NPD then it would be a question of ‘this behaviour is so toxic and abusive!!1!!1 you’re a monster!!1!1!” but because it’s BPD it’s ok. they’re so close. so close and yet so far.

[daemontypal]

Caffeine addict here. I've never even heard of people having this mindset until now. I don't really understand trying to seperate yourself from "real" addicts, because a weed addiction is just as much an issue as any other addiction, in my opinion. Same goes for caffeine and nicotine addictions as well.

I've kind of had the opposite experience where I've had a crippling addiction to caffeine for nearly five years now, yet nobody takes me seriously because caffeine is legal and so widely used by hundreds of millions of people across the world. It's so normalised that if I try and talk to someone about it, it's treated like some sort of joke.

Cut to today and I don't even get a "high" from caffeine anymore; I barely feel anything when I drink it. I have to drink 2-4 cans of Monster Energy a day just to feel normal and to avoid withdrawals. That clocks in at around 300-600mg of caffeine a day. For reference, the maximum "healthy" limit according to the FDA is 400mg daily. And that's not even taking into account all the Diet Coke I drink alongside that as well, which probably adds an extra 50-150mg of caffeine, depending on how much I drink for that day.

If I don't get my usual daily dose of caffeine, I get painful and unbearable withdrawal symptoms such as splitting headaches, tremors, feeling depressed/$ui€idal, dizziness, nausea, muscle aches, and I get so foggy-headed that I can't even form thoughts in my mind. It also worsens all my mental illness symptoms, because the reason why I drink caffeine is to cope with a lot of these issues and suppress/numb my mental illness symptoms.

With all of this being said, I think it's bullshit to suggest that an addiction to weed isn't a "real" addiction or that it's "not addictive".

All drug addictions are valid. And just because something is "legal" or "natural", that does not automatically mean it's good or healthy. Anything in excess can be bad for you.

Your. Addiction. Is. Valid!!!

-Kody 🖤

There's just this attitude that a lot of weed users have surrounding their drug use (nicotine/tobacco and caffeine addicts also) that irks me because they rely on this idea that they aren't "like those REAL drug users," because weed isn't addictive (untrue) or it's not a "real drug" (untrue) or it's good for them (in some situations, maybe) whereas obviously all those other "REAL drugs" are completely different, don't lump them in with those other addicts, etc etc etc. And it's really frustrating as someone who has used or currently uses those "REAL drugs" or has a history with addiction getting stigmatized even by other drug users/addicts. Like I said, caffeine and nictotine and even a lot of drinkers do this too. Maybe if you have to light up three times a day or if you have to have 12oz of caffeine three times a day or if you go through three cigarettes a day or if you need three glasses of wine a day you have more in common with your fellow addicts and/or users than you want to admit, and maybe the only reason you don't want to admit that is because you see something wrong with "REAL drugs" and the people who use them.

[daemontypal]

I cannot stress enough how important this thread is.

I am far too mentally ill to work, and the only thing that's keeping me going is chugging energy drinks during my shifts and drinking myself to sleep with vodka every night to deal with the stress. And if I had a dealer, I'd probably be doing a bunch of hardcore illegal dr*gs.

Yet my parents still hold these impossibly high expectations for me and get pissed off if I'm not killing myself in order to live up to those standards. It's like my family are trying to convince themselves they didn't fuck up, even though they traumatised me for years and are the reason why I'm so mentally ill in the first place :)

People love to talk about whether or not disabled people can work

but if you can work just fine and your disability is destroying your ability to have a life outside of work (because work takes all your energy and more)

Dead silence. Nobody cares.

[daemontypal]

I genuinely hate that shit so much asdgfhgf

[daemontypal]

Dude how can people be so vapid...

"I'm an EmPaTh and a mental health advocate uwu!!!!! Anyways I think people with low empathy should all DIE."

As concerning at it is that they're willingly dishing out death threats for people they don't even know, it's so laughable that they don't realise how hypocritical they are.

People like this will call themselves "EmPaThS" and then they turn around and wish death on anyone with a low empathy disorder without even stopping to consider how it will make us feel and how disgustingly hurtful that shit is. Like how can you genuinely lack this much self-awareness...

Big clown moment. 🤡

Decided it’s worth putting this up here as yet another example of how people behave towards people with low empathy disorders while completely lacking all self-awareness of how they sound.

I have previously said that the types of people who center empathy as the basis of all morality and treat basically all evil as coming from low empathy disorders will get overtly genocidal in a single step with ease, and every single time one of those people comes to my attention all they do is prove me entirely correct.

[daemontypal]

If you could write the DSM-VI diagnostic criteria of ASPD and NPD, what exactly would it look like? Which parts would you change?

I don't have NPD so I don't feel I should get to speak on what the criteria should look like, it's not my experience to define.

For ASPD, basing it off of my experiences, knowledge of the community, the DSM-5 and the ASPD checklist written by shitborderlinesdo it would look something like this:

- A lack or significant deficiency in affective empathy, the inability to feel the emotions of others for themselves regardless of understanding the emotions of others or not.

- A lack of guilt/remorse, the inability to feel negatively about having wronged someone outside of the consequences they must face for their wrongdoing.

Both of these are what I'd consider mandatory, not developing either of these properly are why antisocials have different brain functions than prosocial. These have to have been experienced since before the age of 15.

- A need for control over their surrounds, the people around them and the systems they are a part of. When this sense of control is broken they lash out. This need for control commonly leads to a hatred of authority and difficulty maintaining relationships with others. Having power over things contributes to their self esteem and how they view themselves.

- Chronic boredom, a need for high stimulation that leads to pleasure seeking and risk taking behaviour. When understimulated they can feel sad, angry, empty and such negative feelings about themselves and their lives. Understimulation leads to lashing out and/or heightened recklessness. Stimulation being fulfilled or not contributes to their self esteem and how the view themselves.

- Emotional dysregulation, quick to feel intense emotional reactions especially anger, a low tolerance for irritation. Often having difficulty recognizing their own emotions in retrospect and/or when feeling them. This can lead to consistent apathy or apathetic episodes in response to emotions they cannot handle.

- Disrespect for the rules, feeling rules and consequences shouldn't apply to them. When breaking rules they disregard consequences and/or acknowledge them and attempt to get out of experiencing them.

- Difficulty feeling a connection or closeness with others, often seeing others by what benefits they offer them. General difficulty maintaining relationships with others.

- Lack of commitment and consistent failure to meet responsibilities given to them by others. This often leads to unemployment, leaving education or leaving relationships.

- Lashing out aggressively, whether it be physically such as fighting and beating others and/or verbally such as intimidating and threatening others.

- Casually and knowingly lying to and manipulating others. Not seeing it as something that is wrong to do.

- Strong impulses that are difficult to control, often acting on them without considering anything else.

- Disregard for the safety of themselves and others, disregard for the property of others.

Of which you: experience consistently, have to have shown signs of before the age of 15, experience to a degree that your life is impaired, is not explained by other mental illness and does not only occur during a period of substance use.

Basically I would change it from being defined on how you affect others to how the disorder effects us. Other than just rephrasing stuff, I added chronic boredom and apathy with are completely missing from the current entry and made the need for control a criteria rather than just a side note. I didn't include the difficulty to plan ahead because it's redundant enough which how I described impulsivity, plus I think in the current climate and the world so uncertain a major portion of people experience that.

I didn't include has trauma in the mandatory section despite the fact it is but because you asked me to write DSM criteria and I don't want the power to decide what is and isn't trauma to be left to psychs since they suck and I don't like them. Plus I know it already throws some people off with people blocking out those memories or disregarding them as not serious enough (< VERY common with antisocials we don't want to admit weakness).

That's just my take on it tho! People are bound to think I should have included some other stuff, that I shouldn't have included some others and thats fine. If this was a community consensus it would hold weight but I'm just one catboynotboy so it doesn't :3

[daemontypal]

I made another meme yo

[daemontypal]

reminder that addicts who aren't in recovery deserve just as much compassion and support as those who are.

and that addicts in recovery don't inherently have any moral high ground over those who aren't.

[daemontypal]

P.S. Fuck you Brad for firing me over literally just being tired and not making enough eye contact even though I'm a Schizotypal Avoidant nervous wreck and I CAN'T look people in the EYeS foR sHiT-

Hey y'all, how's everything? Long time no see. I just got fired from my job of two weeks and my stress levels are so high that I'm on the verge of aLcOHoLiSm :)))

How's your day been?

[daemontypal]

Hey y'all, how's everything? Long time no see. I just got fired from my job of two weeks and my stress levels are so high that I'm on the verge of aLcOHoLiSm :)))

How's your day been?

[daemontypal]

Hey y'all have some shitty memes I made last year to try and cope with my mental health issues and dysfunctional shit going on at the time hahahaha-