cryptid-lesbian-things

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Ok terf ❤️

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

So are you guys actually excited for your futures or is that just like a myth?

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Me when there's Halloween things in August: *happy doots*

Me when there's Christmas things at the end of november: *AMGER*

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

What's the point of having thick thighs if you have no girlfriend to lay her head down on them?

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

My mom always calls my thighs fat and tells me that I need to lose weight even though these meaty thighs can squat 200 lbs but ok deborah

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Me: I'm here for a good time not a long time

Also me, sobbing on my deathbed at 98 years old: I came here for a good time, not a long time, and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

[gets in with you]

[gets in my little clown car]

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Just found out that straight ppl exist

Um.... Ok why though?

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Hate it when I eat something that tastes really good but has a horrible texture so I'm just sitting there shoveling food in my mouth and gagging every 2 seconds

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

I will never understand the appeal of just murdering animals to hang on your wall. Am I the only one who doesn't enjoy killing things minding their own business for a "trophy"

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

My step mom coughs and sneezes straight into her hand, no fist or anything, just her open palm I've literally never been more disgusted in my entire life

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

I meant to grab a salad dressing bottle and shake it up but instead I grabbed my coke bottle and opened it.

On a completely unrelated note how do I get coke out of a white shirt

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Bones are for the weak

*jiggles towards you on the floor*

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

Ben Shapiro is jewish, don't tag a post about him with goblin tags

Is goblin antisemetic or something? I didnt realize if so, I’ll change the tags :)

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

My breakfast this morning was a bowl of pancake batter. Anyways how's everyone else's day's going?

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

I refuse to believe Ben Shapiro is real. I think he's just a myth made to scare children.

In conclusion: Ben Shapiro is a cryptid

[cryptid-lesbian-things]

anyone else wanna get hit by a bus rn or is that just me