crochetwizardman

[crochetwizardman]

What if I drew an alien... what if he was jacked... with a fat ass...

[crochetwizardman]

What if I drew an alien... what if he was jacked... with a fat ass...

[crochetwizardman]

Why does she do that. She tilts her head back in apparent satisfaction when she lays on my chest. She's like "yessssss cuddle time"

[crochetwizardman]

My partner fails to understand this. No, don't touch my shit, you'll let the demon out and then I won't even be able to find what I need to put it back!

Clean my room? No. You fool. There are secrets hidden in these piles

[crochetwizardman]

Well don't just stand there, I've gotta smoke and take more pictures of myself doing stupid and lame shit. I'm scheduled to get rocks thrown at me by school children in 15 min. Bills don't pay themselves

Y u taking photos with an unlit cigarette in Ur mouth U look Stupid and lame

[crochetwizardman]

I lost my lighter. Also I'm stupid and lame, but that's beside the point.

Y u taking photos with an unlit cigarette in Ur mouth U look Stupid and lame

[crochetwizardman]

I don't want him to die yet I need to bully him. I will do it. It's an inevitably that he is very much aware of and is doing everything in his power to change and deny his cosmic destiny. His mortal struggle is impotent and I'm coming. God won't let me die. I have one last task to complete.

I don't want Elon Musk to kill himself because that would get him some sympathy from liberals and "oh so you don't care about mentally ill people?" would become a common line. Ideally I'd like him to be assassinated Luigi-style, but again that runs the risk of him becoming a martyr. No, the best way for him to die is in a stupid accident of his own creation, which I'm frankly shocked hasn't happened yet. Y'know like Tesla malfunction, falls over the non-OSHA-certified guard rails in his own factory, SpaceX explosion, crushed to death trying to fuck one of his ugly robots, ect.

[crochetwizardman]

[crochetwizardman]

dont make me tap the sign

[crochetwizardman]

I cast Hex of Unsorted Crayons

Now all your crayons are in the wrong place no matter what you do!!!

[crochetwizardman]

Excuse me? Set up my what?

[crochetwizardman]

O yah baybee I gots TACTICS to make sure I don't lose shit

[crochetwizardman]

Oh I just heard that guy with one leg that I don't like got served eviction papers? Aw what? I don't want my enemy to leave! I feel bad for the guy, I hope he can fight it in court

I wish I knew why, so I could keep it in mind and not do it

Fuck the new property manager all my homies hate the new property manager. Fucking ex military cop fucking pig shit motherfucker. He's like the 4th or 5th or 6th new person in change since I've moved in here, which was last year, so they're turning them over almost quarterly.

Gotta be one miserable motherfucker to be evicting people that ain't hurting nobody. Disabled people. I'm probably the most disruptive tenant tbh. Evict deez nuts asshole

[crochetwizardman]

[crochetwizardman]

God said I can do whatever I want because I'm cool and sexy and my meat thicc

[crochetwizardman]

My cat: mrow

Me: why do you make that gay sound

[crochetwizardman]

I CANNOT use a sewing machine. Technology made to make things easier for everyone else make things harder for me. All my skills are Hella primitive PLEASE don't try to teach me anything from after the industrial revolution