cookie-cake93

[cookie-cake93]

Part 10

29. Empathy

When I was a kid seeing someone I cared about upset usually made me upset enough I would have to try to hold back tears. Now as an adult I still get upset for those I care for (and angry at whoever upset them) but it less intense (whether that's from being better at dealing with my emotions or from being depressed so long I'm not sure).

30. Accommodations

I don't remember if any of the accommodations I got in school were for autism (think it was mostly for the adhd). I've heard that some schools are getting better with this and that's awesome. Society in general needs to learn to be more accommodating to everyone with disabilities really.

31. Sensory euphoria

The only one I can think of is being wrapped in a warm blanket when it's cold (honestly any kind of warmth when it's cold). Other than that I'm not sure that this is something I really feel (being depressed for over half your life will do that to a person).

With that I actually finished this thing, I really wasn't sure I would when I chose to do it. This has been rather fun actually I've loved seeing others share their experiences as well. Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Halloween.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 9

Adding a read more for some upsetting topics.

25. Pets

We have 4 cats 3 boys Ace (12), Cole (7), Cricket (1) and one girl Poppy (1) and one dog Layla (2 or 3 I can't remember.) Our other dog Maggie was unfortunately hit by a car and died a few days ago (part of the reason it took me so long to do this one). The cats are my pets and they mean so much to me, the dogs do too but I really am more of a cat person (dogs can be a little too much sometimes). I'll admit that my cats are one of the few reasons I'm still alive.

26. Fidgeting

I'm almost always fidgeting (also a big part of adhd too). I love my fidget cube, also pens that click are a favorite too.

27. Stimming

I've finally gotten to the point where I'm okay with stimming in front of trusted people. My mom has gotten to the point that she can tell I'm getting overwhelmed or trying to calm myself down and tries her best to help.

28. Safe foods

My safe foods are graham crackers being a main one (especially cinnamon), another big one being animal crackers/cookies (I've heard them be called both), those buttery round crackers, also pudding and jello. These are the things that I can eat even when I can't stand the thought of eating.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 8

Putting a read more due to potentially triggering talk about some really dark thoughts.

21. Queer

I currently identify as a Bi-romantic Asexual although I am still trying to figure it all out.

22. Disabled

Besides being autistic I also have adhd and depression I'm also blind in one eye and hard of hearing (I'm actually mostly deaf at this point) all of these negatively affect my life with some of them making me question if life's worth living (I've mentioned in an earlier part of this about how losing my hearing is very negatively affecting my mental health).

23. Synesthesia

I don't experience this so I don't really have anything to say.

24. Genetic

I have noticed some autistic (and adhd) traits in a couple of my close family members and know that autism can be genetic but I'm the only one that's been diagnosed.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 7

17. Repetition

I have a routine I do every day when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I also will repeat what I just said if I'm interrupted or get distracted when talking.

18. Self regulating

Music has always been a huge way of me calming myself down. I also pace and stim (although I also do this when bored too).

19. Comfort items

I guess I would say my fidget cube and kind of my stuffed animals (honestly due to losing a lot of stuff from moving several times I have a hard time getting attached to anything).

20. Executive disfunction

It was such a relief when I found out about this because I assumed that I was just lazy because I have so much trouble starting anything (I'm sure the depression makes it worse). It's actually caused me to struggle a little bit with doing these things for the lists here.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 6

12. Differently wired

It helped me so much when I learned that autistic people's brains are different and that my unusual way of thinking in perfectly normal for someone like me.

13. Vivid imaginations

I've always been able to come up with wild stories in my head and have used that as a coping mechanism for as long as I can remember.

14. Hyperfixations

I have many that come and go (sometimes for years) and I have some that have been constant since I was a kid. The main one being the Legend of Zelda which has been a huge part of my life. A Link to the Past was possibly the first video game I played, that or Mario All Stars (I love Mario too but no where near as much).

15. Pebbling

I do like giving gifts that have to do with what a person likes. I don't get to do it very often though.

16. Autistic pride

This one is a difficult one because I'm not there yet. I hope I will someday be able to say I love every part of me but I still have a lot to work on. I do love seeing others talk about how they are proud of their autism because it gives me hope that maybe I'll be okay eventually.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 5

10. Self advocacy

While I still need my mom to go to the doctor with me (I'm hard of hearing so it helps having someone with me, also I can't drive) but as I've gotten older she's encouraged me to speak for myself and I've gotten better at it even if I can't always figure out how to say what I want to say (she'll help me go over it before the appointment if I need to.)

11. Unlearning ableism

I'm still trying to learn to love myself. I don't really think that's because of ableism though. Although now that I'm thinking more on this I guess that hating yourself for being different at 8 years old might be internalized ableism. (I kinda feel like I should point out that my parents did their best to get me out of that mindset) I'm still not ready to say I love myself and I might never be but I've learned to be ok with being me.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 4

8. Non speaking

When really overwhelmed I sometimes struggle to get words out but I've never lost the ability to speak completely. I am often told I speak way to quietly though.

9. Community

I believe that finding the right group can really help a person. Once I found the autism and adhd community I started to realize that so many things I struggle with are not completely my fault and are normal for people like me. Despite being diginosed with both for so long I was never told much about it (not anyone's fault it's just that not a whole lot was really known about it when I was growing up.) Hearing other people experiences made me feel so much less broken (I'll admit that I've cried several times learning that things I've hated myself for for years were never my fault.)

Also on a less depressing note finding communities for games I love have also been great. Although due to my shyness and anxiety I'm usually more of a lurker and don't always interact much, it's still nice to see people so passionate about the same things I am.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 3

5. Verbose

I sometimes use more words than necessary because I struggle to figure out how to say what I want to say.

6. Individual

Well yeah, everyone's different don't really have anything else to say

7. Neuroscope

I'm pretty sure both my mom and older brother have undiagnosed adhd and I see a lot of adhd and autistic traits in my little sister.

[cookie-cake93]

Part 2 of catching up on this. I did this one separately because I do have a bit to say about this one.

4. Music (put under a read more due to potentially triggering things) Tw depression and dark thoughts

Music has always been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. It's always the one thing that can calm me down when upset or angry. I'm pretty much constantly humming or singing something from classic rock to pop or video game music (mostly Zelda or Mario).

While it still is the main thing I use to calm myself it's something that also upsets me now. I have a issue with both ears that means I will eventually go completely deaf (I'm considered hard of hearing now). I've known about this since I was an older teen but the last few years my hearing as gotten a lot worse (I'm 31 now) so I can't help but sometimes focus on what I can't hear now and it's so depressing. Honestly it's a huge driving point for my depression because I struggle to talk to people because I can't always hear them and it makes me feel even more like I can't connect with anyone.

I've never really shared this with anyone and I'm sorry about my little rant but I finally got this out somewhere.

[cookie-cake93]

Hi, I know I'm a week late here I forgot this was a thing. I hope nobody minds but since I don't always have a lot to say I would like to maybe do a couple of these together in one post instead of individually.

1. Autism+

In addition to autism I'm also diagnosed with adhd, ocd, anxiety, and depression.

2. Infinite

I've always liked the infinity symbol and I feel like it's not an insult like the puzzle piece is (if you support autism speaks I don't like you.)

3. AUDHD

It was here on tumblr where I learned that this is so common, I've been diagnosed adhd since 6 and autism since 12. I finally found people that understood the struggle that is trying to balance the adhd part wanting new experiences while the autistic part wants nothing to change.

[cookie-cake93]

So many people who get periods are like “Ugh it sucks that having a menstrual cycle makes you almost die every month” like no that’s not normal you need to go to the doctor

[cookie-cake93]

As an Autistic Person, I've Learnt to Stop Pushing Myself out of my Comfort Zone...

Neurodivergent_lou

[cookie-cake93]

It's funny how you can be surrounded by people who love you and still feel so alone. I really do love my family but none of them understand how I feel (the only one who did has been gone for over 3 years now). I feel like they're tired of me not having the motivation to do anything. I honestly don't think they realize just how bad I'm feeling. They know I'm suicidal but I feel like they don't understand what that really means. I don't think they understand that depression doesn't need a reason to exist or what it means to go through day after day not wanting to be here anymore.

I feel like I'm getting really close to my breaking point and I'll admit that the main reason I don't plan on doing it yet is because I'm looking forward to a game coming out later this month (and yes I realize that's pathetic but it's something). I know I've said this for the last 6 or 7 years at this point but I'm tired of fighting for something that I don't feel is worth it. I honestly think I'm beyond fixing at this point. If things don't turn around soon I don't think I can hold on much longer.

[cookie-cake93]

shoutout to all the autistics who cant drink normal water/tap water i c u and i hear u

[cookie-cake93]

This is also very common in people with adhd too.

Experiencing Auditory Processing Disorder

The Autistic Teacher

[cookie-cake93]

I would like to warn you that this post contains things like suicide and death. I believe this is a very important issue that needs to be addressed. If that makes you uncomfortable, you are free to click or scroll away. I understand.

Autistic Suicide

The Autistic Teacher

[cookie-cake93]

One thing I hate about these things is that they don't seem to take into account people who don't have friends and can't really make any for whatever reasons (be it life circumstances or medical issues.) Me for example, I can't drive and my anxiety and autism makes it really hard to talk to people along with being hard of hearing which are some of the main things that makes me feel so isolated and lonely.

Also exercise and self care is hard to do when you're severely depressed and chronic pain is also something these things don't think about (unsurprisingly being told that the solution to your problems is something you can't do can make you feel worse.)

I realize I may have gotten carried away with this little rant and I mean no ill will towards anyone who shares these things because I'm sure it's helpful for some people and that's what matters in the end.

8 TIPS THAT CAN HELP YOU GET PAST LONELINESS:

Reach Out to Others:

It may seem challenging, especially if you're introverted or shy, but it can help significantly to connect with other people. This might be through social activities, joining clubs or groups, or even volunteering.

Stay Active:

Physical activity can help to boost your mood. Try to include a routine of exercise in your daily schedule, like walking jogging, dancing, yoga, or any sport you enjoy.

Hobbies and Interests:

Pursuing hobbies that you enjoy or discovering new ones can also help fill time and provide a sense of fulfilment and purpose. It might be anything from painting, playing a musical instrument, writing. gardening, cooking, to coding.

Practice Self-Care:

Make sure you're taking care of your physical health - eat healthily, maintain good sleep habits, and avoid excessive alcohol or other substances.

Meditation and Mindfulness:

Practices such as meditation and mindfulness can help you stay centered and focused on the present, reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Connect Online:

The internet can be a great resource for finding communities and groups of people with similar interests. While online interaction shouldn't replace face-to-face connection entirely, it can be a helpful supplement.

Journaling:

Writing about your feelings can help you understand and manage them better. It's a good way to express your thoughts and reflect on your emotions and experiences.

Limit Social Media:

While online interaction can be useful, too much social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of loneliness, especially if you comparing your life to others.

CAMHS Professionals