circles9090

[circles9090]

I LOVE YOU

It has been quite a while since I’ve written.  Not because my life has been mundane and nothing to write about, but because over the course of a year my life has completely changed and I don’t even know where to begin.

Life has a way of throwing some pretty hefty curveballs, some good, some great, some not so good and some down right devastating.   But when you mix them all together it seems to…

[circles9090]

Breakfast 

I had every intention of eating healthy this morning with my Pinterest egg muffins.  I finished this off instead… In my defense, it went better with the Pumpkin Spiced Latte with Cinnabon Creamer.  Wake me up when September ends!

[circles9090]

If tomorrow never comes 

Every one knows the popular song by Garth Brooks, If Tomorrow Never Comes.    Over the course of a month, I’ve had a friend lose a father suddenly to a heart attack. I’ve had a friend think there was nothing left to fight for and tried to end her own life.   Even a friend that cried over the phone just last night, explaining his child custody hearing, “I looked at the woman across from the…

[circles9090]

It wasn’t too long ago that Catherine and I decided to have a “Girl’s Day”.  It was a gorgeous day, the weather was perfect.  When I asked her what did she want to do, she replied that she would like to go to the pool.   My heart immediately sunk.

The dreaded pool.  The embarrassing swimsuit.  The excess weight gain that I can’t blame on Baby weight any more since my kids are 12 and 15.

I tired to negotiate, “Let’s go to the river instead, I know a nice secluded spot that is just perfect.”   She reluctantly agreed to go to this elusive spot that I completely over-exaggerated, mainly because we had already passed two swimming pools and I had a panic attack about the over-crowded parking lot and started crying.

We trudged in the muddy water, both of us completely miserable, but still determined to have a good time.  It didn’t take long for her to lose her sandal, we both watched it float downstream as I did my best to chase it while sliding on the rocks, barely able to breath because of the frigid water temperature.

As I was retrieving the sandal, she was sneaking out of the river.  I turned around, sandal in hand, she was headed to the car laughing at me as I was trying to balance myself on the rocks.

We get in the car, she asked again if we could just go to the pool.   I had a brief internal nervous breakdown and off we drove to my doom….Oh, I mean Pool.

When we got there, she immediately spotted some friends, there was a bench conveniently empty next to them so we snatched it up and I encouraged her to go hang out with them.   She did, the girls ignored her.  She tried so hard to fit in, but they got up and gathered into a circle around the fence with their cell phones, taking selfies with their tongues stuck out, which I am pretty sure has taken the place of “duck lips”.   She sat on the bench that they were hanging out at trying to casually make her way back to me without looking like a total loser, after a few minutes, she made her way back to me.

We sat there silently for a little bit, then she asked if I would like to go swimming with her.   I am pretty sure I never felt so comfortable in a swimsuit in my life.  I asked her if she was ok while we were wading in the pool.  She laughed and said of course she was, she wanted to hang out with me anyway.

I will be honest, I wasn’t sure how that comment made me feel.   Proud, that she wanted to be with me.  Sad, that this stupid cruel world we live in thinks it is acceptable to hurt a little girl who is just so desperate to  find a friend.  Completely pissed off, that these prissy little jerks have their faces in their phones 24/7 and can’t see that there is a great big world out there that they are missing.

Kids know nothing about “Changing the World” anymore.  They don’t know how to be good citizens or friends to kids who may be just a little different than them.   They search for that one group of friends that act just like them, while taking advantage of bikini season Posing half naked in their provocative selfies desperate for a boy to notice them.  The conversations they were having was sickening to hear, and I was actually happy to know that my daughter was not part of that particular group.

As we wrapped up our pool excursion and made our way back home, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.   She just doesn’t seem to fit in.  Sure, she is different.  It’s not her fault, God decided to wire her a bit differently than other kids.   Her heart is the same.  Actually, I am proud to say, her heart is way bigger than others.   It is unfortunate that kids want to grow up so fast, whatever happened to just going to a pool and actually going swimming?  If you want to relax poolside, how about read a book or entertain each other by….wait for it….talking to each other!!

I learned a few lessons that day.

Just wear the swimsuit, and wear it proud!   I earned every stretch mark.

Ok, so maybe I need to go on a diet…..

I am raising my kids to be good humans.

I am teaching her to love every one, no matter their ethnicity, disability or social status.

There is nothing more beautiful than a good heart.

I can’t punch, trip or drown mean girls because that would be frowned upon.

The older she gets, the more she notices that she is different.  She is not one to let me take a picture of her because she thinks she is ugly.  She quietly blends in when she is around kids her age, or she retreats to me or another adult.  Social situations, no matter how hard she tries, can sometimes be an overwhelming experience for her.

I don’t pressure her to be around kids her age, but I do pray that God sends her that one special friend that embraces her nerdiness and her weird tendencies and loves her anyway.

Today, she had the opportunity to hang out with her cousin and her friend that happens to live next door to us.   Due to a full summer schedule they hadn’t been able to see each other for quite some time.   I had some work to do at The Greenbrier and decided to invite them to tag along with me.   Gave them some money and told them to have fun.   They went to dinner at Draper’s and shared a giant banana split for dessert, then took off for a few hours to explore.   We caught up after I finished up and decided to take a walk and enjoy the evening.

The teenager that is totally camera shy came out of her shell with the help of her friends.  They laughed and joked, making the pictures burst with personality and self confidence.  There were no selfies.  They weren’t trying to impress anyone.  It was just three friends enjoying each other.  Talking.  Laughing.  Just being kids.

On the way home, they were talking about the things they used to do with each other when they were younger, playing with their American Girl dolls, climbing the neighbors tree house, sledding on the coldest of winter days.

“I wish we were young again.”  they all said simultaneously.

I put my sunglasses on, not because the sun was too bright, but to hide the tears in my eyes.  Ages 16, 15, and 13 were talking about wanting to be young again, while I am trying desperately to stop my aging process by wearing excess amounts of anti-aging sunscreen, buying the latest and greatest wrinkle cream, liposuction, boob job, tummy tuck…yet I am still embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit.    All because I so desperately wanted someone to love me.  I needed his approval.   I told myself over and over again that I was not good enough.

What was I teaching my daughter?  What am I going to teach her?

I am going to stop worrying so much about my, not so fit, swimsuit body and teach my daughter to love herself.

I am going to teach her that if you are lucky enough to have one friend, you are truly blessed.

I am going to teach her that she never has to have the approval of a boy to make her a beautiful woman.

She will be taught to be strong, independent and able to stand on her own.

 She will always be loved and she will be taught to love.

So you’re a little weird?  Work it!!  A little different?  OWN it!   Better to be a nerd than one of the herd!     -Mandy Hale

  **This particular pool incident took place a few weeks ago, I am proud to say that this Momma wore a very modest high wasted bikini to the beach last week and we had the time of our lives!!  She also made a super cool, nerdy friend from Tennessee and they spent the week together swimming and crabbing!!

  Better to be a Nerd than one of the Herd It wasn't too long ago that Catherine and I decided to have a "Girl's Day".  It was a gorgeous day, the weather was perfect. 

[circles9090]

Blow Your Horn 

​​​ https://videopress.com/embed/ufkG88LO?hd=0&autoPlay=0&permalink=0&loop=0​Conversations from different rocks on Beauty Mountain.  (Texting) Me: This is very entertaining.   Olivia: She Sucks! Me: (various Bitmojis and Gifs) Olivia: She sounds like you when you eat Mexican! …..and the whole Mountain heard us cackling!!! I’m going to miss this chick #SummerAdventures #IAlreadyMissHer

[circles9090]

Skipping work and Herding Cattle

Skipping work and Herding Cattle

I called into work and told them I had to watch the fog rise, I couldn’t imagine being behind my computer. They laugh, tell me to have fun and be careful….I promise to send some pictures, and I’m off. Today I am particularly grateful to be able to work at a company that understands my need to enjoy The Greenbrier Valley and surrounding counties. On beautiful mornings like this, they automatically…

[circles9090]

I Don't Know Her But I Love  Her 

I Don’t Know Her But I Love  Her 

I firmly believe in Matthew 6:4…so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And this is something I have always taught my children,  but I can’t help and share this.  Yesterday was a mad rush all day long. From sick dogs to losing Adam’s basketball jersey….and having to be at the gym by 4:30. We almost skipped dinner (Well, I was…

[circles9090]

M&M's

M&M’s

I am close to the dreaded 5 year anniversary of the divorce.  The day I wore a red dress with blue hearts, brown boots and navy tights and stood in front of the judge as he beat his gavel and annou… Source: M&M’s

[circles9090]

M&M's

M&M’s

I am lucky enough to vividly remember the very second I knew I was deeply passionately in love.  The second I knew my life had forever changed in that one instant.   I still look back on that day, even 5 years after the divorce, and still get butterflies. In the 5 years since the divorce, I have struggled at times with finding my happiness, my purpose, and a Soul Mate. I am close to the dreaded 5…

[circles9090]

Adam: Mom, can you see my Six Pack! Olivia: I’m pretty sure that’s just ribs! Adam: Ohhhh Shot Down!

[circles9090]

Lovesac, you have ruined my child!

Adam:(When he’s grounded from his phone and remembers how to have a conversation) “Mom, all I need is a mini-fridge full of Eggo Waffles, endless supply of water, my phone, some video games, the dog in a tuxedo……I am also sleeping naked tonight!😳🙄 Just me and my Lovesac!!”

[circles9090]

We Can Make New Memories

We Can Make New Memories

Ill Be Home For Christmas was playing softly in the background as we started decorating the tree.  The kids were sorting out the Christmas decorations that we were able to salvage from this summer’s 1,000 year flash flood that wiped out small towns and killed over 20 people this past June.  We were lucky, the storage area that we keep the decorations was the only thing that was flooded, as 10+…

[circles9090]

This Kid 

In the past 24 hrs. he has gotten grounded from his phone, told me I had pretty eyes, sat on my lap just to fart on me, asked me where babies come from and burped the entire Adele song “Hello”.  My life would be absolutely incomplete without this hoodlum.   He’s one of a kind. 💙

[circles9090]

Life is Still Beautiful 

17 years ago today I made a promise that I would love him forever…This morning, as I do every October 23rd, I thanked God for the 13 years God allowed me to be a wife.  So today, I celebrate.   Not my marriage…but my KIDS.  If it wasn’t for this day 17 years ago, I would have never had been blessed with being Catherine and Adam’s Mommy!!    Philippians 4:11-13 says I am NOT saying this because I…

[circles9090]

How Beautiful Heaven Must Be

I read in a book one time of a child that had a near death experience and went to Heaven.   He later explained Heaven in such great detail as he talked about family members he saw, even sat in Jesus lap, but what I remember about the book was his vivid description of the colors in Heaven.    I remember reading it over and over, then closing my eyes to imagine how beautiful Heaven must be.   I…

[circles9090]

September

There is something about a cool September morning.   The subtle hints of pending Autumn were all around this morning as I took my morning walk.   Soon the trees will yield my favorite colors as reds, yellows, bronze and hints of burgundy fill the West Virginia mountains.   Mornings are filled with heavy fog lifting through those hills.  The bright morning sun makes the dew filled spider webs…

[circles9090]

You Should Write More.

You Should Write More.

“You should write more.” That is what people tell me all the time.   I have become negligent with writing, because let’s face it, who wants to read a blog from a lonely, too busy, single working mom.   I probably wouldn’t read it either. Most of what I write these days consist of some comedic episode that, all too frequently, happens with my kids.   I have used my blog to jot down memories…