cindyzelman

[cindyzelman]

D is for Dominance

I’m sitting upstairs in my bedroom, in a chair I have set in a far corner, so I can place my laptop actually on my lap in the hope that I will write something. I live in this house alone, although with three cats, but no other humans. I’m older than I care to admit and sometimes sit here, in my colorful wingback chair, and wonder: how did you end up alone in this house? Maybe because I am…

[cindyzelman]

Keep things real. They will say I kept things real, or that I was a bitch, same thing. She tells it like it is.

Daily writing promptTell us one thing you hope people say about you.View all responses

[cindyzelman]

Knollsbrook Memories: You can't go home again

Sometimes it’s the songs that get to me, but not just any song. Not the songs I’ve heard thousands of times, but the ones I hear rarely. This morning U2’s “Angel of Harlem” brought me back to the mid-1980s and the excitement of being in my 20s and being in love, standing there in that foyer with “that’ person in that the Somerville three-decker. Then I heard the Jackson 5’s version of “Never Can…

[cindyzelman]

Childless Cat Lady: Growing Old with Timmy

In 2011, my mother and I walked into a PetSmart in Attleboro, Massachusetts and were met with quite a few pairs of cats sharing pet carriers: mothers and daughters mostly, sisters in one case, and in a final pairing, two separate cat carriers one with a mother and the other with her son. The Neponset Valley Humane Society brought the pairs to us because we’d requested two cats to adopt after the…

[cindyzelman]

My stomach has gotten bigger

No, I’m not pregnant. I turned 62 this year, so if I were pregnant, you would have seen me on the news, some older double-chinned lady in maternity clothes. But yes, my stomach is growing. Call it late middle age or early senior citizenship belly. Or maybe it’s the ice cream and the honey buns, the sugar, the constant barrage of food I throw into my body. My metabolism is not what it used to be.…

[cindyzelman]

From 2017

A year ago this week (June 2017), I was laid off from work, along with a hundred or so other people. I had worked at the company for nearly 18 years and being let go came as a shock. I never thought of myself as a superstar in my job, but I was hard working and smart and loyal. I volunteered for any work or role in my department that no one else wanted or couldn’t keep up with. I should have seen…

[cindyzelman]

Which Cindy Zelman am I now?

I recently wrote to a friend: Oh, boy, the blog….seems like it was a lifetime ago, as if it belonged to someone else named Cindy Zelman… Many years ago, a porn website included the name “cindy zelman” as part of their keyword searches. I found out because someone I was dating found it. “That’s not me,” I said when she confronted me. I can guarantee that’s someone else. I do not have an alter ego…

[cindyzelman]

That's not an opinion

Like many people, I have little tolerance for “opinions” that are not opinions at all. I have little patience for the questioning of reality by those who believe in lies. If you say the world is flat, that’s not an opinion; it’s just wrong. If I read one more media outlet that reports along the lines that ��it appears that Biden won the election,” I may scream. Those Republican senators who say…

[cindyzelman]

Driving in a Pandemic

A drive to PetSmart during a sunny Saturday in May elicits the chills and thrills of falling in love. I have been denied the fresh air, the sun, the breeze, the windows down, the moon roof open, for too long. Even the paved jungle of the highway and the ugly office edifices looming like concrete ogres, even all that, makes my heart palpitate. The stupid songs on the radio. All of it. I have been…

[cindyzelman]

A Masshole's Advice: Please consult your user's manual

A Masshole's Advice: Please consult your user's manual

Being from Massachusetts, I frequently encounter “Massholes,” and often, I transform into one. I don’t need a phone booth to pull on my Masshole tights and my Masshole cape as the transformation is instantaneous. From normal “me” to raving lunatic behind a steering wheel! Watch me shape-shift from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, from human to howling werewolf all in a nanosecond. No need for a…

[cindyzelman]

Some writing news (finally)

Some writing news (finally)

I don’t know why I feel awkward telling you this, but I do. My essay, “This Will Be a Love Story” was recently named as a finalist in The 48th New Millennium Award for Nonfiction. While I have been named in the past for an honorable mention, finalist status is the best I’ve ever done in the New Millennium literary awards. Unfortunately, they only publish the winning essay, but I feel hopeful for…

[cindyzelman]

I never felt better: Thank you for the cadaver bone

I never felt better: Thank you for the cadaver bone

This is what started me on the road to cadaver bone.

The “number 3” molar on the right upper row of my teeth was dying, cracking, screaming euthanasia. If I ate ice cream or had a cold drink, excruciating pain pierced through the tooth, the gum line, the jaw, like hot bolts of lightening hitting me direct in the face. There are so many nerve endings in your gums. Sometimes the entire right…

[cindyzelman]

I never felt better: What did they put in those capsules?

I never felt better: What did they put in those capsules?

I recently received two emails from Amazon telling me that my purchases of Align Probiotics would be refunded because they are not the genuine product. Hmmm… The box they arrived in looks exactly like the one I would get at Walgreen’s. The capsules are sealed in silver foil blister packages. How in the world could someone fake this? How would you retrofit fake capsules into sealed packaging like…

[cindyzelman]

Are you from Newton?

Are you from Newton?

She sells the coffee I buy

The woman behind the counter at the Honey Dew Donuts says to me, “I like your haircut.”

My hair is very short, close-cropped. My hairdresser uses a number three clipper blade, which allows a hint of scalp to show for a week after a haircut. The cut is sharp, neat, and frames my face well.

“Thank you,” I say.

She lifts her Honey Dew cap. “Mine is short, too!”

I…

[cindyzelman]

Cats Tales and Blue Jays, Interview with Author Faye Rapoport DesPres

Cats Tales and Blue Jays, Interview with Author Faye Rapoport DesPres

Little White, who has a book named after her which will be out on October 16th!

I met Faye Rapoport DesPres in the summer of 2008 when I entered the Solstice MFA program at Pine Manor College.  We were the same age, both from a Jewish background, and both with a deep desire to write creatively.

Author Faye Rapoport DesPres

Although Faye was a semester ahead of me, we shared writing workshops for…

[cindyzelman]

This is why I wanted a red chair

This is why I wanted a red chair

Recently, I purchased a red chair from Wayfair.com to spruce up my house, which I’ve had repainted and re-carpeted (upstairs) after years of shabby flooring and aging wall paint.  The chair is a faux leather red. It’s inexpensive as I have two cats, one of whom likes to scratch his way through the furniture.

This is the new red chair. Note the cat toy on the bottom left of the screen. I find that…

[cindyzelman]

Cindy's Test Kitchen - Excerpts - Part 1

Cindy’s Test Kitchen – Excerpts – Part 1

Hi everyone,

I’ve been quietly working on the expansion of my 2014 chapbook, What’s in a Butch’s Purse. My vision is to have a longer book that maintains the humorous nature of the original publication but that allows for serious moments.  I’m hoping to add some gravitas with the expanded edition to avoid a work that is all punchline humor. Real humor needs character, situation, and story.

I’m…