chronicno

[chronicno]

i can talk about the forced drugging all day because that is one of the main reasons and fears of me going back to a psych ward as an adult now since I experienced most of this as a teen in mental institutions. and mind you getting misinformed misdiagnosed and undiagnosed means I have a lot of confusing information from doctors just telling me stuff. I tell them I hear voices and have auditorial hallucinations yet they’re telling me I’m not schizophrenic or schizoaffective or ANYTHING yet gives me pills for schizophrenia. gives me pills for bpd without even diagnosing me with it giving me all this stuff im not sure that I need while telling me incorrect information continuing to further confuse and worsen whatever symptoms I’ve GOT. as a teen? that scared tne FUCK out of me I had to stay asking my psychiatrists, therapists or the doctors at the wards about what these meds are for and how come I have to take certain meds if I’m not getting a full diagnosis for it or even a proper evaluation for the specific disorder, condition etc before being given meds. and doctors wonder why I didn’t want to take pills anymore or didn’t trust them or refused to take them. because I never understood why I had to take pills for a diagnosis I never had. or they would briefly explain in a rushed manner and tell me oh sounds like u have auditorial hallucinations but not this,

“oh sounds like you could have that but not this specifically but we’re gonna give you pills for that specific disorder anyways and not really evaluate you fully to see if you have the disorder because everything your going through just sounds like depression and potentially some other things but no we’re just gonna keep telling you it’s depression while giving you pills for other things we didn’t diagnose you with.”

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

[chronicno]

I would really appreciate any help that I could get honestly because it’s been an extremely hard 5 years. I was trying to raise money when I was 19 but…I have trouble asking for help without feeling undeserving or just idk like I shouldn’t be? but I can’t keep acting like I can do all of this by myself because I can’t when I literally have no support whatsoever.

it’s just been a constant battle between my disability affecting my work, my managers not taking it seriously, just getting out of this horribly manipulative relationship, my sister being being completely unsupportive, dismissive, and starving me, my mother passing, familial issues, dangerous environments, discrimination at the workplace and just it’s just been a lot. and I’ve been trying my best to survive and make amends meet.

I’ve been trying to survive through sex work, forcing myself to work, and even starting up a bracelet business. but my last most recent job I had, I was having an epilepsy flare up, I tried to tell my manager that I don’t think I can stay my whole shift, she begged me to stay I tried to and almost fell out at my job so I walked out and got fired for that. she also implied that she felt like because my ex bf at the time was standing in the lobby waiting for me? that she had “knew what was really going on” so..she didn’t even take my condition seriously whatsoever when my eyes were visibly rolling back, hands trembling, knees bucking, just all of that in front of her.

Then the other job I had before that one was Meijers. I was having issues with my bf at the time and we were having sexual issues where I kept having to have appointments back to back to make sure I was sexually safe while also having to deal with him blaming me for these said issues. They had a 90 day probation where u can’t call off too much once you first start working there. so I was giving them notes for my appointments. I remember one day I tried to give them a note and my manager told me she didn’t need it (definitely concerned me) I believe I asked her why, she just brushed me off. but long story short I had ended up getting sick tried to tell my manager I couldn’t make it she also begged me to come in so I came in forced myself to work while sick got super dizzy knees got weak and I ended up falling out on the floor at my job where everyone could see. this frequently happens with my jobs where I’m quitting due to mistreatment & transphobia and it’s made it so extremely hard for me to even keep up with my bracelet business because that was going decently, hard to keep up with a steady job and consistent income.

thank you to everyone whose read this far. I’m gonna put my Linktree here to make it easier to access. If you’d like to support in other ways, I do also stream on twitch! that’ll also be in the link. So if you’d like to support and watch me play games and such, im also on there at times. I appreciate you all so much 🖤

[chronicno]

nothing I do will ever be enough. no matter how hard I try, how many jobs I call or apply to, no matter how many times I try to make things work for me it will never work it will never be enough. i will never be loved. I will never get a proper experience of true love, true intimacy, what it’s like to have real friends who actually care about me and isn’t just pretending to be an ally to expose my genitals to their partners or put me around transphobic spaces or only use me to vent but when I try to vent to them I go unheard or get over spoken or suddenly the topic has to change. I will never know what it’s like to have sex with someone who makes me feel safe comfortable whose willing to guide and teach me and not rush me and not make me feel ashamed when I mess up that can reassure me that will be patient with me. I will never live this fulfilling life. I keep trying to heal but I keep falling deeper and deeper into despair and I don’t have all of my adult life to keep going through this. im so ashamed that I can’t even ask for mutual aid I can’t even be personable I can’t even ask for help without feeling ashamed and advertise myself the way I used to be able to before. I have a disability that makes it hard to keep a job, I’m going through new things finally getting diagnosed with stuff I KNEW I’ve been going through but never truly knew because of misinformation misdiagnosis undiagnosed. thinking I was typical my whole life but was atypical. my life is finished and I made the mistake of not ending myself in my teens. I made the mistake of thinking I could handle adult life or that I could make it in my 20s when truly I can’t bare to stand living like this anymore.

[chronicno]

Munir Fahim

Women of the Nile.

[chronicno]

[chronicno]

Because I'm a cognitively disabled transgender who thinks it's important that intellectually disabled people are listened to and respected, I end up making friends with a lot of intellectually disabled transgender people and the amount of people who WANT a medical transition but can't access it due to caregivers or guardians is TOO DAMN HIGH.

We need to find better ways to support decision making and consent. We need to help people make their own goals and then reach them. Not just in gender transition but in life all around. What a medical team or guardian wants for someone doesn't always cover everything a person could want out of life.

[chronicno]

[chronicno]

I normally wouldn't make a post like this but I need to help my family with groceries, I'm unable to work so anything helps!! thank you!

PayPal: @ shinytinystars

Cashapp: $spiritwolf98yt

[chronicno]

sometimes i see cis people say "trans people will understand if you misgender them at first. i call my nephew 'her' all the time and he knows i don't mean it" no he doesnt. he probably never hangs out with you for more than ten minutes because that's how long you can last in a conversation before making him feel like shit. also he thinks you're, best case scenario, stupid for not being able to figure it out, or worst case scenario, uncaring about him and his needs. he doesn't like spending time with you. you're deluding yourself into thinking you're far kinder than you are. you're weird man.

[chronicno]

I'm drowning in debt and urgently need help!!!

Friday, January 17th: Hello, everyone. I’m Gem, a bi, mentally ill, and disabled woman in desperate need of help as I'm struggling to pay off my debt and get groceries!!

I apologize for asking for help again; as most of you know from my previous posts, I have been struggling quite a lot to make ends meet while on welfare benefits and due to my rent arrears and ever-increasing debt. And to be quite honest, these past few months have been absolute hell for me, and with no other income, I've been relying on the kindness of others to get by.

However, I desperately need that kindness again; as some bills came out early and fees were added to my account, this balance has been bouncing between my PP and my bank, accruing fees that I am struggling to pay. I don't receive my welfare until the 31st and could really use some help!!

Again, I know this is a lot to ask, especially in January, but if anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would save my life, and sharing helps just as much.

£39.83/£252!!!

✨️PayPal✨️

**EDIT** My PayPal is now also overdrawn by £51.94 (photo above)**

[chronicno]

I am so hungry this makes no sense I am so tired of my stomach eating itself idk what to do anymore man.

[chronicno]

please dont stop talking about palestine . i do not trust israel and there has been multiple ceasefires theyve completely ignored . if we do happen to see iof soldiers leave and no longer occupy palestine , they would still need to rebuild . this includes medical aid and addressing airborne diseases , finding displaced families and reuniting them , etc ... their entire infrastructure needs to be rebuilt so please do not forget about palestine and do not let the US take credit for their liberation .

[chronicno]

[chronicno]

REITA 「Through the Years」

[chronicno]

[chronicno]

self sabotage is exactly why I have such a hard time asking for any kind of help to begin with I literally put everything on my shoulders and try to deal with it myself

[chronicno]

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out because I could really use some support and guidance. As an LGBT person, I’ve been facing some challenges that I’d love to talk about with others who might understand. Whether it’s advice on navigating relationships, dealing with discrimination, or just finding a safe space to express myself, I’m open to hearing any tips, resources, or experiences that could help.

If you have any advice or if you’ve gone through something similar, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks so much for your time and support!